Episode 105: What Jaz Murudumbay Taught Me About Recovery, Representation, and Belonging

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Some conversations stay with you because of what happened. Others stay with you because they help you see something that was missing all along. When I sat down with Jaz Murudumbay for the Sober Life Rocks podcast, I expected we’d spend an hour talking about addiction and recovery. We certainly did. But by the time our conversation ended, I realized we’d been exploring something much deeper: what it feels like to spend your life searching for someone who understands your experience and can show you that another future is possible. One of the greatest privileges of hosting this podcast is introducing listeners to people whose voices deserve a much larger audience. Every guest brings a unique perspective shaped by their own life experiences, and every conversation reminds me that there isn’t one path into sobriety—or one path out of it. My own journey taught me what it felt like to hide. For years, I made myself smaller because I worried about what people would think if they knew I didn’t drink. I quietly declined the wine, changed the subject, or tried not to draw attention to myself. Listening to Jaz reminded me that my experience was only one version of the story. She wasn’t just navigating sobriety. She was navigating culture, identity, family expectations, and the feeling of rarely seeing anyone who looked like her talking openly about recovery. That distinction matters because if you’ve never seen someone who shares your experience find another way forward, it’s much harder to imagine that path exists for you. https://youtu.be/Ak7SubLFyTQ Growing up as the daughter of Ecuadorian immigrants in Canada, Jaz often felt like she was standing just outside the world she wanted to belong to. She remembers family gatherings where alcohol was simply part of the fabric of life. Adults drank, celebrations revolved around drinking, and no one questioned it because it was simply what people did. Even as a child, though, she found herself watching the adults as the evening unfolded. She noticed how their personalities changed after they drank and wondered why alcohol seemed to hold such importance in people’s lives. Years later, when she took her first drink at just fourteen years old, she finally understood. It wasn’t really about the alcohol. It was about relief. The self-consciousness she’d carried for years suddenly quieted. The feeling of being different softened. For the first time, she experienced what so many people later describe: alcohol seemed to erase the distance between who she was and who she wished she could be. As Jaz talked about those early years, I found myself thinking about something I’d never really considered before. People rarely become attached to alcohol because of the drink itself. They become attached to what it seems to give them. For Jaz, it offered confidence, belonging, and a temporary escape from the feeling that she somehow didn’t measure up. She shared that growing up, she often compared herself to the blonde-haired, blue-eyed girls around her. She rarely saw women who looked like her represented in the ways she longed to be represented, and over time she came to describe those years as living beneath a kind of gray cloud. Alcohol didn’t create happiness, but for a while it seemed to lift that cloud just enough to make life feel easier. Of course, as is so often the case, what begins as a solution gradually becomes another source of pain. The confidence alcohol initially provided slowly gave way to shame. The connection became isolation. The freedom became dependence. Jaz talked openly about the cycle of promising herself she would stop, only to find herself drinking again. Each relapse deepened the same painful question: What’s wrong with me? Listening to her, I realized how many people ask themselves that exact question, convinced that everyone else possesses some kind of strength or discipline they simply weren’t given. It’s one of addiction’s cruelest lies. It convinces people they are uniquely broken, when in reality they’re often carrying burdens they were never meant to carry alone. Discovering a Shared Humanity Jaz walked into her first AA meeting expecting to feel like an outsider. In many ways, that expectation made perfect sense. The meeting was held in a more affluent neighborhood than the one where she had grown up, and simply walking through the door stirred up familiar feelings of not quite fitting in. She came from a family that had struggled financially, and she remembers furnishing their home with discarded items because buying furniture simply wasn’t an option. Looking around the room at professionally dressed people with backgrounds that appeared very different from her own, she quietly wondered if she had made a mistake. So she sat in the back and listened. As people began sharing, something unexpected happened. The details of their lives were different, but the emotions were remarkably familiar. They talked about shame. They talked about feeling like they never quite measured up. They described using alcohol to quiet the relentless voice that insisted they weren’t enough, and they spoke about the exhausting cycle of promising themselves things would be different tomorrow. Jaz realized that while she had spent years believing her struggle made her different from everyone else, it was actually the thing she had in common with the people around her. Beneath different cultures, careers, incomes, and life experiences, they were wrestling with many of the same fears. That part of our conversation stayed with me because it challenged something I hadn’t fully considered before. We often focus on the ways our stories are different, and those differences matter. Jaz’s experience as the daughter of Ecuadorian immigrants shaped her relationship with alcohol in ways that were uniquely her own. My experience was shaped by growing up with a mother who struggled with alcoholism and by years of quietly hiding my own sobriety. Other guests have carried completely different burdens. Yet underneath all of those stories sits something profoundly human: the desire to belong, the fear of being judged, and the hope that somewhere there are people who will understand us without requiring us to explain every part of ourselves. I also found myself thinking about how important representation is in recovery. Growing up, Jaz had never seen women from immigrant families openly talking about addiction or sobriety. She didn’t know people who looked like her sharing stories of healing. If those stories aren’t visible, it’s easy to assume they don’t exist. It’s easy to conclude that recovery belongs to someone else. Seeing people who reflected her own experience didn’t solve everything, but it opened a door. It made recovery feel imaginable, and sometimes that’s the first step toward believing change is possible. Perhaps that’s why I love these conversations so much. Every guest leaves me with a little more empathy than I had before. They remind me that recovery isn’t one story told over and over again. It’s thousands of different stories, shaped by different cultures, identities, professions, families, and life experiences. The more of those stories we tell, the more likely it is that someone who has been quietly wondering if they’re alone will finally recognize themselves. And sometimes, that’s where healing begins. The post Episode 105: What Jaz Murudumbay Taught Me About Recovery, Representation, and Belonging [https://soberliferocks.com/episode-105-what-jaz-murudumbay-taught-me-about-recovery-representation-and-belonging/] first appeared on Sober Life Rocks [https://soberliferocks.com].

How Whitney Combs Learned to Stop Managing Her Drinking and Start Living Her Life

Today, Whitney Combs is helping women do something she spent years trying to figure out for herself: how to stop using alcohol as a coping tool and start building a life that feels manageable, authentic, and emotionally sustainable. As a sobriety coach and nervous system regulation expert, she teaches women practical skills for navigating stress, overwhelm, anxiety, and the challenges of everyday life without reaching for a drink. What makes Whitney’s work so compelling is that it grew directly out of her own experience. Before she was coaching others, she was a physician assistant, educator, wife, and mother of four who appeared to have everything under control. She was successful, highly accomplished, and deeply committed to the people she loved. Yet beneath the surface, she was carrying a tremendous amount of pressure. Like so many women, she had become accustomed to performing, achieving, and taking care of everyone around her while quietly struggling to take care of herself. During our conversation, what struck me most was how much of Whitney’s journey wasn’t really about alcohol at all. It was about perfectionism. It was about anxiety. It was about the exhausting belief that she always had to be “on,” always had to get things right, and always had to be everything to everyone. Alcohol simply became the tool she used to manage the impossible expectations she had placed on herself. https://youtu.be/YYyVBos0ZoI The Only Child Who Grew Up Feeling Like an Adult Whitney describes her childhood with genuine affection. She was raised by loving parents and speaks warmly about the home she grew up in. At the same time, she laughed about being an only child, joking that there were essentially three adults living in the house. Because she spent so much time around adults, she developed a level of maturity and responsibility very early in life. While those traits served her well in many ways, they also planted the seeds of perfectionism. As we talked, it became clear that Whitney spent much of her life believing she needed to do things correctly, perform well, and meet high expectations. She wasn’t someone who naturally gave herself permission to be messy, uncertain, or imperfect. Instead, she became the kind of person who worked harder, tried harder, and expected more from herself than anyone else ever could. By adulthood, those tendencies had become deeply ingrained. She had long struggled with depression and anxiety and had worked with mental health professionals throughout her life. But even with that support, the demands she faced continued to grow. She was teaching future physician assistants, raising four young children, managing a marriage, and trying to excel in every area of her life simultaneously. From the outside, it looked impressive. From the inside, it was exhausting. Like many high-achieving women, Whitney had learned how to function at a very high level while carrying an enormous amount of internal stress. She kept moving forward, checking boxes, and meeting responsibilities. But eventually, she needed a way to quiet the constant pressure she felt. That’s where alcohol entered the picture. When Drinking Becomes a Full-Time Mental Job One of the things I appreciated most about Whitney’s honesty was how clearly she described the mental gymnastics that accompanied her drinking. Because she was so determined not to let alcohol become a problem, she created rules. At first, she would only drink Thursday through Saturday. Then she imposed limits on the number of drinks she would have. Like so many people who are beginning to question their relationship with alcohol, she spent countless hours negotiating with herself, creating strategies, and trying to maintain control. The problem, of course, was that the rules rarely worked the way she hoped they would. Once drinking started, the carefully constructed plans often fell apart. The next morning would bring guilt, frustration, and renewed promises to do better next time. As Whitney reflected on those years, she laughed while sharing one of the most memorable stories from her journey. Determined to prevent herself from drinking impulsively, she actually locked her wine refrigerator and froze the key inside a block of ice. The plan seemed brilliant. Until it wasn’t. One night, she became so determined to get into the wine fridge that she found herself running to the garage in search of tools to pry it open rather than waiting for the ice to melt. It’s a funny story now, but it also captures something many people understand all too well. The problem wasn’t the wine fridge. The problem was the amount of mental energy she was spending trying to control something that no longer felt aligned with the life she wanted. “I was constantly negotiating with myself, and it was exhausting.” As the years passed, those negotiations became harder, more complicated, and less effective. Eventually, Whitney reached a point where she realized she didn’t want to spend the rest of her life managing alcohol. She wanted freedom from thinking about it altogether. Learning That Sobriety Doesn’t Solve Everything Like many people, Whitney initially believed that quitting drinking would solve most of her problems. What she discovered instead was both more challenging and ultimately more rewarding. After exploring different approaches and spending nearly nine months trying to figure out how to stop drinking for good, she finally committed to sobriety and joined a coaching program. Looking back, she credits that experience as one of the most important investments she made in herself. The reason had very little to do with alcohol itself. What the coaching program taught her was that removing alcohol doesn’t automatically remove the emotions that led you to drink in the first place. The anxiety is still there. The overwhelm is still there. The perfectionism is still there. The tendency to overfunction and overperform doesn’t magically disappear. Sobriety gave her clarity, but it also required her to develop new tools. That realization ultimately shaped the work she does today. “Just because you quit drinking doesn’t mean you stop having feelings.” Instead of numbing difficult emotions, Whitney began learning how to regulate her nervous system and respond to stress in healthier ways. Over time, she discovered that lasting recovery wasn’t just about removing alcohol. It was about building the capacity to sit with discomfort, process emotions, and care for herself in ways she never had before. The Power of Nervous System Regulation Today, nervous system regulation sits at the center of Whitney’s coaching philosophy, and our conversation around this topic was one of my favorite parts of the episode. She explained that many people only think about coping skills when they’re already overwhelmed. In reality, she believes there are two different categories of nervous system care. The first involves daily practices that help keep us emotionally grounded and resilient. These are the habits that support our well-being before a crisis occurs. Meditation, yoga, journaling, movement, prayer, and mindfulness practices all fall into this category. They help create a stronger foundation so that life’s inevitable challenges don’t knock us completely off balance. The second category involves what Whitney calls rescue tools. These are strategies we can access in moments of acute stress, anxiety, or emotional overwhelm. Breathwork is one example. Naming and acknowledging emotions is another. She also shared a story about her daughter, who uses an ice wrap around the back of her neck when anxiety becomes intense. The cold sensation helps bring her attention back into her body and out of spiraling thoughts. What I loved about this conversation was how practical it felt. Rather than presenting recovery as some abstract concept, Whitney offered concrete examples of what it looks like to care for ourselves in real time. “This is not forever. This is for now.” That simple reminder can be incredibly powerful when we’re caught in the middle of a difficult moment. Finding the Courage to Share Her Story After completing her coaching program and stepping away from her work as a physician assistant educator, Whitney found herself asking a new question. What did she want to do next? The answer surprised her. She had become fascinated by everything she was learning about recovery, emotional wellness, and nervous system regulation. The more she explored these topics, the more passionate she became about helping others navigate the same challenges. She began discussing the possibility of coaching with her own coach and eventually started the process of becoming certified herself. Yet even as she stepped into this new chapter, there was still the question of whether she was ready to share her story publicly. One of the most emotionally difficult conversations came with her parents. Like many loving parents, they immediately worried that somehow they had caused her struggles. Whitney had to help them understand that this wasn’t about blame. It was simply about her own journey and her decision to create a healthier future. Once they worked through those emotions, however, she found that most people responded with tremendous support. About six months after deciding she wanted to become a coach, she had a moment of clarity while sitting at a water park. She decided it was time. That day, she went home and began sharing her sobriety journey publicly. Interestingly, she didn’t start by talking about the hardest moments. Instead, she focused on what she was gaining. She talked about freedom. She talked about peace. She talked about authenticity. She talked about how much better life felt. Because she framed the conversation around possibility rather than shame, people responded positively. “I wanted people to know how good life had become.” Sharing Your Story on Your Own Terms Toward the end of our conversation, I asked Whitney what advice she would give someone who wants to be more open about their sobriety but feels nervous about how others might respond. Her answer was thoughtful and empowering. She reminded listeners that not everyone automatically deserves access to their story. Vulnerability is important, but so are boundaries. Sharing doesn’t have to be all or nothing. “Not everybody deserves your story, but you deserve to show up as your whole self.” She encouraged people to start small. Share with trusted friends. Focus on the positive changes you’ve experienced. Talk about what you’re gaining rather than what you’re giving up. Most importantly, she reminded us that other people’s reactions are often more about them than they are about us. Sometimes discomfort arises because our choices force others to examine their own relationship with alcohol. That doesn’t mean we’ve done anything wrong. It simply means we’ve chosen authenticity. A Note from Margy One of the things I kept thinking about during my conversation with Whitney was how many women are walking around carrying impossible expectations. We tell ourselves we need to be better, do more, achieve more, and hold everything together. Then, when the pressure becomes unbearable, we criticize ourselves for looking for relief. Whitney’s story is such a beautiful reminder that the answer isn’t becoming more disciplined or more perfect. The answer is learning how to care for ourselves with the same compassion we offer everyone else. What stood out to me most was the freedom she found when she stopped trying to manage alcohol and started addressing what was underneath it. The anxiety. The overwhelm. The pressure. The belief that she always had to perform. If you’ve been questioning your own relationship with alcohol, I hope this conversation encourages you to get curious about what’s beneath the drinking. Sometimes the greatest transformation isn’t in what we stop doing. It’s in what we finally allow ourselves to feel, heal, and become. Keep Up With Whitney: Website: www.whitneycombs.com [http://www.whitneycombs.com/] Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/whitney.combs/ [https://www.instagram.com/whitney.combs/] LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/whitney-combs-27a108143/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/whitney-combs-27a108143/] The post How Whitney Combs Learned to Stop Managing Her Drinking and Start Living Her Life [https://soberliferocks.com/how-whitney-combs-learned-to-stop-managing-her-drinking-and-start-living-her-life/] first appeared on Sober Life Rocks [https://soberliferocks.com].

25. juni 202640 min

How Jaime Andersen Found Freedom Beyond Alcohol

Today, Jaime Andersen is helping women around the world rethink their relationship with alcohol and create lives they genuinely love waking up to. As a sober coach, certified yoga teacher, retreat leader, and advocate for intentional living, she has built a thriving community centered on wellness, authenticity, and personal growth. After leaving a successful corporate career to pursue coaching full time, she now spends her days helping others discover what she wishes she had known years earlier: that sobriety isn’t the end of a good life. In many ways, it’s the beginning. Listening to Jaime speak now, it’s hard not to notice the energy she brings to the conversation. She is thoughtful, grounded, and deeply passionate about helping women find freedom from the exhausting cycle of questioning their drinking. Yet one of the things I appreciated most about our conversation was her honesty about how ordinary her story looked from the outside. There was no dramatic rock bottom. No single catastrophic event forced her to stop drinking. Instead, her journey began in a place that will feel familiar to countless women: she was successful, capable, overwhelmed, and quietly using alcohol as a way to cope with a life that felt increasingly exhausting. The Life That Looked Fine From the Outside When I asked Jaime who I would have met if I had known her a few years before she stopped drinking, she didn’t hesitate. She described a woman who was doing all the things so many high-achieving women do. She was working full time at Amazon in a demanding corporate role while also raising a family and managing the endless responsibilities that come with being a mother. Like many women, she became incredibly skilled at keeping all the plates spinning. She showed up, got things done, and kept moving forward. What few people saw was how depleted she felt underneath it all. She wasn’t drinking every day, which made it easy to dismiss concerns about alcohol. In fact, for a long time she told herself that because she could go several days without drinking, things couldn’t really be that bad. But the truth was more complicated. By the time Thursday rolled around each week, she found herself eagerly anticipating that first drink. Thursday through Sunday became her window to decompress, relax, and escape the relentless pressure she felt during the workweek. The issue wasn’t necessarily how often she drank. It was the role alcohol had begun to play in her life. It had become the reward for getting through the week. The thing she looked forward to. The way she managed stress. And once she started drinking, she often found it difficult to stop. “I would long for Thursday to come because I just needed some way to unwind from all the exhaustion.” As Jaime reflected on that period of her life, it became clear that alcohol wasn’t the root problem. The deeper issue was that she was exhausted, disconnected from herself, and carrying more than any one person was meant to carry. Alcohol simply became the coping mechanism that made that reality feel more manageable, at least temporarily. Over time, however, she began noticing moments that forced her to confront the truth. She could see that she wasn’t always showing up as the mother she wanted to be. She didn’t have the energy she wanted for the people and activities that mattered most. There was a growing sense that her priorities weren’t aligned with her values. While nothing looked disastrous from the outside, she knew something needed to change. A Simple Break That Changed Everything Like many people who eventually find lasting sobriety, Jaime didn’t start out intending to quit drinking forever. She simply decided to take a break. She had done alcohol-free challenges before and had successfully gone periods without drinking. Each time, however, she eventually returned to old habits. This break felt different, though she couldn’t have explained why at the time. Looking back now, she realizes the difference wasn’t willpower. It was connection. During those early weeks, Jaime discovered sober podcasts. The podcasts led her to sober Instagram accounts, and those accounts led her to online communities filled with people asking the same questions she had been asking herself. Suddenly, she was surrounded by stories from people who didn’t fit the stereotypical image of someone with a drinking problem. They were professionals, parents, entrepreneurs, and high achievers who simply wanted more from life than alcohol was allowing them to experience. For the first time, she realized she wasn’t alone. That realization became a turning point. Before finding those communities, Jaime believed she was navigating a unique problem. She knew drinking wasn’t serving her, but she also didn’t identify with traditional recovery narratives. Discovering thousands of people living in that same gray area was incredibly validating. She immersed herself in books, podcasts, social media content, and conversations with others who had walked the path ahead of her. “I consumed everything I could get my hands on because I finally realized there were other people just like me.” What struck me as she shared this part of her story was how often we underestimate the power of community. So many people struggle in silence because they believe they’re the only ones asking these questions. Jaime’s experience reminds us that healing often begins the moment we realize we’re not alone. The Surprising Joy of Life Without Alcohol As her thirty-day break progressed, Jaime noticed changes she hadn’t expected. She felt better physically, of course, but the improvements went far beyond that. Her energy increased. Her confidence grew. The constant mental negotiation around drinking began to disappear. Perhaps most importantly, she started building relationships with people who understood exactly what she was experiencing. When the thirty days ended, she found herself facing an unexpected realization. She didn’t want to go back. For years, she had assumed that life without alcohol would feel restrictive or boring. Like many people, she viewed drinking as an essential ingredient in fun, connection, and relaxation. What she discovered instead was that life was becoming bigger, not smaller. “I couldn’t believe this was what life felt like without drinking. I thought, if it’s this good, why doesn’t everybody know?” That question stayed with her. She found herself wanting to share what she was learning, not because she was trying to convince anyone else to quit drinking, but because she was genuinely excited about the changes she was experiencing. Within six months, she started an Instagram account where she began documenting her journey. At first, it felt like a public journal. She never imagined it would become a business, a career, or a platform that would eventually reach thousands of people. She was simply sharing her truth. Ironically, that honesty is exactly what drew people in. Women saw themselves in her story. They recognized the exhaustion. They understood the internal debate about alcohol. They related to the feeling of wondering whether life could be better without it. As her audience grew, so did her sense of purpose. What started as sharing her own experience gradually evolved into coaching, community building, and eventually a full-time career dedicated to helping others create lasting change. Today, Jaime often reflects on how different her life looks from the one she was living just a few years ago. The woman who once counted down the days until Thursday is now building retreats, teaching yoga, coaching clients, running races, and cultivating a life rooted in wellness and intention. None of that happened overnight. It happened because she became willing to ask a simple question: What if there’s more available to me than this? A NOTE FROM MARGY One of the reasons I wanted to share Jaime’s story is because so many people dismiss their own questions about alcohol simply because things haven’t gotten “bad enough.” They’re still showing up to work. Still taking care of their families. Still checking all the boxes. From the outside, everything looks fine. But Jaime reminds us that the goal isn’t simply to avoid disaster. The goal is to build a life that feels aligned, energized, and authentic. What resonated with me most was her realization that alcohol wasn’t really the problem she was trying to solve. Exhaustion was. Stress was. Disconnection was. Alcohol was simply the tool she had learned to use to cope with those feelings. I think many of us can relate to that, whether alcohol is involved or not. We all have habits, routines, and distractions that help us get through the day. The harder question is whether they’re helping us create the life we actually want. Jaime’s story is a powerful reminder that transformation doesn’t always begin with a crisis. Sometimes it begins with curiosity. A willingness to ask, “What if there’s more available to me than this?” And sometimes that single question can change everything. Stay Connected with Jamie: Website: https://www.amazinglyalcoholfree.com/ [https://www.amazinglyalcoholfree.com/] Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amazinglyalcoholfree/ [https://www.instagram.com/amazinglyalcoholfree/] TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@amazinglyalcoholfree [https://www.tiktok.com/@amazinglyalcoholfree] YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@AmazinglyAlcoholFree [https://www.youtube.com/@AmazinglyAlcoholFree] LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jaimeandersen/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/jaimeandersen/] The post How Jaime Andersen Found Freedom Beyond Alcohol [https://soberliferocks.com/how-jaime-andersen-found-freedom-beyond-alcohol/] first appeared on Sober Life Rocks [https://soberliferocks.com].

18. juni 202637 min

Episode 105: What Jaz Murudumbay Taught Me About Recovery, Representation, and Belonging

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