Spiritual Fathers

Tim Croll - Thoughts on Mentoring from a Lego Master, Ep #11

In this episode, we dive into the journey of Tim Croll, a husband, father of three, and proud grandfather. Tim shares his evolution from a faith rooted in fear to a deeper understanding of God’s unconditional love. He reflects on the personal development lessons he’s learned from both entrepreneurial successes and failures, and the pivotal role mentorship has played in his life. Tim also discusses his experience on Lego Masters, where he and his son Zach used their time on the show to model a supportive father-son relationship. As his family grows, with a new daughter-in-law on the way and another grandchild arriving soon, Tim cherishes the evolving dynamics and relationships. Tune in for insights on faith, family, mentorship, and personal growth. You will want to hear this episode if you are interested in... * Tim Croll, Using Lego Builds for personal and relationship development (00:00) * Tim’s faith journey (2:00) * Tim’s family life (11:15) * Mentorship in Tim’s life (15:50) * Tim shares his contact for anyone in need of mentorship (22:30) * How taking an interest in his sons’ hobbies created new opportunities (23:38) * Tim’s personal development lessons (30:44) * How Tim encourages mentorship engagement (36:25) * Best spiritual advice Tim has been given (42:20) Tim’s Faith Journey Tim’s faith journey began at a young age, shaped by a fear of hell and the belief that salvation depended on strict rule-following. Raised in a legalistic, performance-based environment, he internalized the idea that acceptance came from adhering to rules and achieving success. After pursuing a career in youth ministry and facing repeated setbacks, Tim transitioned into entrepreneurship, where he found success but also experienced burnout and failure. A major turning point came when he hit rock bottom—physically and mentally exhausted—leading him to realize that God’s love is unconditional and not based on performance. This realization allowed him to embrace being loved for who he is, rather than what he does. Tim emphasizes that growth in faith is a daily process. After spending decades forming beliefs about himself and God, transformation doesn’t happen overnight. He acknowledges that many people get frustrated with the slow pace of change, especially in a society that values instant results. He explains that setbacks are a natural part of the process, and returning to old patterns is common. However, growth in both relationships and faith takes time, and the journey is a continuous, unfolding process. Tim’s Value of Mentorship Tim places a high value on mentorship, recognizing it as essential to both his personal and professional growth. Raised to handle everything on his own, he initially struggled with asking for help. However, key mentors stepped in at pivotal moments throughout his life. In his 30s, Paul Beutel became a guiding force, helping Tim navigate personal and business challenges. Later, during a time when Tim and his family faced bankruptcy, Matt Guerin played a crucial role, helping Tim deal with legal issues and providing reassurance during a tough season. When Tim moved to Philadelphia, he found two more influential mentors: Tony Grove, who had overcome significant personal struggles and helped Tim confront his own painful past, and Marvin Brubaker, who helped Tim process anger and resentment from a church conflict. Tim credits these relationships as life-saving and transformative, underscoring the importance of mentors who step in when needed, offering guidance through difficult times. Tim shares a powerful moment when he was struggling deeply, feeling desperate and isolated. He had built up false beliefs and assumptions that no one would offer help. But in that moment, someone encouraged him to embrace humility and accept the support he so desperately needed. Tim Uses His Lego Experience as a Spiritual Calling Tim reflects on his time on Lego Masters as a blend of parental mentorship and spiritual calling. He and his wife, Melissa, prioritized being involved in their kids' hobbies, especially bonding with their son Zach over Lego building. Tim believes that strong relationships with children are built through shared experiences, which foster meaningful conversations. Joining Lego Masters gave Tim and Zach the chance to showcase a positive father-son dynamic. Despite pressure from producers to create drama, Tim was determined to highlight their loving, supportive bond. He saw the opportunity as a way to model godly fatherhood and demonstrate the power of authentic relationships. In his Lego workshops, Tim emphasizes hands-on, interactive learning rather than passive listening. By applying concepts like personal growth, communication, and conflict resolution, participants confront challenges, reflect on biblical lessons, and internalize valuable life skills.  Resources & People Mentioned * Doing Life with Adult Children [https://www.thriftbooks.com/w/doing-life-with-your-adult-children-keep-your-mouth-shut-and-the-welcome-mat-out_jim-burns-ph-d/20171273/item/35075758/?mkwid=%7cdc&pcrid=76897273066016&pkw=&pmt=be&slid=&product=35075758&plc=&pgrid=1230353808544773&ptaid=pla-4580496735976154&utm_source=bing&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=Shopping+-+High+Vol+Frontlist+-+%2410+-+%2450&utm_term=&utm_content=%7cdc%7cpcrid%7c76897273066016%7cpkw%7c%7cpmt%7cbe%7cproduct%7c35075758%7cslid%7c%7cpgrid%7c1230353808544773%7cptaid%7cpla-4580496735976154%7c&msclkid=257ece7c6eef14038664a9be49ceb335#idiq=35075758&edition=21466847] * LegoMasters [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J9KcNc0gKw4] Connect with Tim Croll * Tim Croll [https://timcroll.com/about/] Connect With Spiritual Fathers * The Spiritual Fathers website [https://www.spiritualfathers.com/] * SpiritualFathers(at)ManInTheMirror.com Subscribe to SHOW NAME Audio Production and Show Notes by - PODCAST FAST TRACK [https://www.podcastfasttrack.com/]

Zach Garza - You Can Mentor! Ep #10

In this episode, we’re joined by Zach Garza, the Founder and Executive Director of You Can Mentor and the Co-Founder of Ten Thousand Fathers. Zach’s journey from being mentored to mentoring others is a powerful story of transformation, faith, and purpose.  From his own life-changing experiences with mentors like Bob and Steve Allen, to founding organizations that support kids without dads, Zach’s passion for mentorship shines through. He shares how vulnerability, presence, and authenticity can make anyone a great mentor and outlines practical ways to lead, connect, and empower others.  If you’ve ever wondered how to make a lasting impact, Zach’s insights will inspire and equip you to step into a mentoring role. You will want to hear this episode if you are interested in... * Resources and relationships (00:00) * Zach’s faith journey (2:00) * How to be a mentor (12:45) * Learn more about Zach Garza (17:29) * Three things that make a great mentor (22:45) * How a mentor can identify skills to teach (33:17) * The best advice Zach has received (35:08) * Books Zach recommends (36:33) Zach’s Spiritual Mentorship Started as a Mentee Zach shares his journey from seeking acceptance, love, and validation through negative behaviors to finding guidance and support from a professor named Bob. Initially reluctant, Zach was drawn to Bob because Bob took an interest in him and didn't try to fix him. Over time, Bob's consistent presence and love helped Zach trust him and eventually accept an invitation to a men's Bible study. Bob's mentorship extended beyond academics, showing Zach the importance of genuine, non-judgmental support. Zach also encountered other mentors such as Steve Allen, who played fatherly roles, encouraging him and teaching him different aspects about Jesus and spiritual values.  These ongoing mentorships helped Zach transform his life, break free from generational curses, and embrace a path of light and purpose. Zach credits these mentors for teaching him how to be a better man, husband, and father, leading to profound personal growth and generational blessings. Zach’s Work as a Mentor Zach started as a teacher and coach at a low-income school in Dallas. Recognizing the need for father figures among his students, many of whom lacked a dad at home, he began mentoring them outside of school through lunches, dinners, and basketball games. In 2009, with support from his community, Zach started a non-profit called Forerunner Mentoring Program [https://forerunnermentoring.com/] to mentor young men without dads at home. By 2014, they were mentoring around 30 kids, and Zach went full-time with the organization, which expanded to include after-school programs and support for single moms. By the time he handed it off to his successor in 2021, they were mentoring hundreds of families, had baptized over 85 kids, and had a budget of $1.2 million. Seeing the need for similar programs in other communities, Zach founded You Can Mentor [https://www.youcanmentor.com/], a non-profit that provides resources and training for mentors and mentoring organizations. They offer video training series, books, podcasts, informational documents, conferences, cohorts, and a non-profit accelerator to help people make disciples, especially for kids without dads or those who have experienced trauma. Zach has written several books and continues to provide resources and relationships as a mentor. Three Things that Make a Great Mentor Zach emphasizes that anyone can be a mentor if they're willing to be vulnerable, present, and genuine. You don't have to be an expert; just a few steps ahead and ready to share your journey. Be available and be authentic.  Zach says the first point of being a good mentor is to lead like Jesus. Initiate the relationship and invite the other guy to follow you. Be willing to make the first call, initiate the text, or consistently be available and continue to reach out. Also, as a mentor, you should have a plan for improvement. Have a podcast or book, questions, or talking points to help the other person. Second point: be faithful over fruitful. It’s not your job to change the person. You should focus on being faithful. He says your role is to show up, reach out, pray, and make the connection until God says not to. Your job is to plant seeds and let God work on the transformation. The third point is to acknowledge identity + skills (in a safe environment) = the best chance of success. Zach reminds us, that God identifies us as a man of God, full of value we share that with the mentees.  Then comes the skill. You need your mentees to be faithful, available, and teachable. For example, Zach teaches his guys how to set goals, how to connect with their wives, and how to respond to texts timely. Whatever skills they want, mentors need to have a plan to teach them, but it must be in a non-critical, nurturing environment to give the greatest chance of success.  Resources & People Mentioned * Raising Up Ten Thousand Fathers [https://www.raisingupfathers.com/] * Forerunner Mentoring [https://forerunnermentoring.com/] * You Can Mentor [https://www.youcanmentor.com/] * You Can Mentor [https://www.amazon.com/You-Can-Mentor-commission-generational/dp/1735346977] by Zachary Garza * Tell Me About Your Father [https://www.amazon.com/Tell-About-Your-Father-relationship/dp/1955546576] by Zachary Garza * The Youth Mentoring Playbook [https://www.amazon.com/Youth-Mentoring-Playbook-30-Day-Generation-ebook/dp/B0DPL29F1P] by Zacary Garza and John Barnard Connect with Zach Garza * Zach(at)youcanmentor.com [http://youcanmentor.com/] * Connect on LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/in/zachary-garza-a7a9805/] Connect With Spiritual Fathers * The Spiritual Fathers website [https://www.spiritualfathers.com/] * SpiritualFathers(at)ManInTheMirror.com Audio Production and Show Notes by - PODCAST FAST TRACK [https://www.podcastfasttrack.com/]

Kent Evans - 4 Dangers with Mentoring, Ep #9

In this episode of Spiritual Fathers, Kent shares the inspiring journey behind his ministry, Manhood Journey, which began as an effort to engage fathers in discipleship within his church community. Drawing from his personal story and advice he received as a teen navigating his parents’ divorce, Kent emphasizes the transformative power of surrounding yourself with mentors who exemplify the life you aspire to build.  He also offers profound insights into mentorship, outlining four common pitfalls to avoid while highlighting the importance of fostering independence and mutual growth. Kent’s advice extends beyond mentoring, encouraging listeners to build relationships with men who challenge and inspire them, creating a dynamic network for personal and spiritual development. Kent Evans is the executive director and co-founder of Manhood Journey, a ministry that helps dads become disciple-makers. After 20 years in a career as a businessman, Kent embarked on the men’s ministry project, appearing on television, radio, podcasts, and Christian speaking events. He is also the author of four books. He is married and has five sons. You will want to hear this episode if you are interested in... * Kent Evans shares about his life and faith [1:45] * What inspired Kent to start the Manhood Journey ministry [4:50] * What are the four dangers of mentoring? [15:30] * Best spiritual advice Kent ever received [34:00] * Kent talks about his new book, Don't Bench Yourself. [38:30] * Books Kent recommends [39:50] How Kent became interested in men’s mentorship Kent shares how his ministry, Manhood Journey, took root when a church staff member approached him with a challenge: create something to engage fathers in the church. This sparked a collaborative effort among a group of men, brainstorming ideas on a whiteboard to answer a key question: “How can we inspire dads to embrace discipleship?”  Their solution was to develop guided Bible studies, encouraging fathers to lead small group studies with their sons. Over time, Manhood Journey has grown into a vital resource for Christian fathers, equipping them to disciple their children in the faith. Kent’s passion for men’s mentorship, however, was shaped much earlier in his life. At 17, following his parents’ divorce, a counselor offered him transformative advice: simply knowing what you don’t want your family life to look like isn’t enough. Instead, Kent was encouraged to seek out men who embodied the qualities and successes he desired, using their lives as templates to build his own. This foundational idea became the cornerstone of his work, inspiring him to help other fathers create intentional and faithful legacies for their families. 4 Dangers of Mentoring Kent highlights four key pitfalls that can undermine the effectiveness of mentorship.  1. The first is the belief that a mentor must be “the answer man.” While it may be tempting to provide solutions, the best mentors ask thoughtful questions, encouraging their mentees to think critically and make their own decisions. This approach empowers mentees to develop independence and confidence in their problem-solving abilities. 2. The second mistake is dictating the mentee’s path. Instead of prescribing a specific course of action, mentors should help mentees develop a framework for evaluating options and understanding consequences. This equips them with the tools they need to navigate future challenges on their own. 3. The third danger lies in assuming that the mentor’s way of doing things is the only correct way. While principles are universal, the methods for achieving them can vary greatly between individuals. Flexibility and openness to different approaches are crucial for effective mentorship. 4. Finally, Kent warns against rigidly maintaining the mentor-mentee dynamic. A healthy mentorship requires humility and mutual respect, recognizing that each person has unique strengths and insights. By occasionally allowing the mentee to guide or teach, both parties can grow and foster a deeper, more collaborative relationship. Advice for mentoring and beyond  Kent suggests that you find interesting men to surround yourself with. Look to build relationships with men who have qualities and talents that you would enjoy learning about. Look for smart guys who may mentor you in skills or experiences you want to develop in your own life. And consider how you can encourage mentees to have agency in their lives.  Listen to the whole episode for insight into the mentoring relationship and common pitfalls to avoid.  Resources & People Mentioned * Start Your Manhood Journey To Be A Better Father & Husband [https://manhoodjourney.org/] * Don’t Bench Yourself: How to Stay in the Game Even When you want to Quit, by Kent Evans [https://www.amazon.com/Dont-Bench-Yourself-Stay-Game/dp/1735481769] * Pointman, by Steve Farrar [https://stevefarrar.com/point-man-2022/] * Teaching to Change Lives, by Dr. Howard Hendricks [https://www.thriftbooks.com/w/teaching-to-change-lives-seven-proven-ways-to-make-your-teaching-come-alive_howard-g-hendricks/255450/item/2467678/?mkwid=%7cdc&pcrid=77447028765180&pkw=&pmt=be&slid=&product=2467678&plc=&pgrid=1239149900900141&ptaid=pla-4581046492312219%3aaud-805998392&utm_source=bing&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=Shopping+-+High+Vol+Frontlist+-+Under+%2410&utm_term=&utm_content=%7cdc%7cpcrid%7c77447028765180%7cpkw%7c%7cpmt%7cbe%7cproduct%7c2467678%7cslid%7c%7cpgrid%7c1239149900900141%7cptaid%7cpla-4581046492312219%3aaud-805998392%7c&msclkid=9a71b2d58b86179b333fd596eb67884d#idiq=2467678&edition=4343613] Connect with Kent Evans * Kent Evans [https://manhoodjourney.org/christian-speaker-kent-evans/] Connect With Spiritual Fathers * The Spiritual Fathers website [https://www.spiritualfathers.com/] * SpiritualFathers(at)ManInTheMirror.com

Roger Bodenstab - Becoming a Spiritual Father After 45, Ep #8

How can the church community create relationships between the older dads, and those still raising young children? What is it that men in the church are seeking within fellowship? Roger Bodenstab is the lead pastor at Crescent City Foursquare Church, the Church he grew up in, in North California. He is a men's advocate and nonprofit leader for the organization, Dad Tired [https://www.dadtired.com/]. Roger shares about his upbringing as the youngest of 10 siblings. He was raised without a dad because his father passed away shortly after he was born. At ten years old, he was hit by a car and because of his near-death experience, he sought to know Jesus and get baptized. He then developed a love for God’s word. He met his wife on a mission trip and they had three biological daughters and later in life, four adopted children. It is through these experiences that he developed a passion for creating men’s mentorship for dads as spiritual fathers in the church. You will want to hear this episode if you are interested in... * Roger’s testimony on becoming Christian and getting into ministry [1:27] * What is Crescent City, Foursquare Church, known for? [7:21] * What it felt like for Roger to understand the need for a spiritual father [16:13] * What Roger thinks the young men in church are looking for from a mentor [19:12] * How Roger creates intergenerational mentorships in his church [23:44] * Roger’s advice on how to make time for a mentor-relationship [27:29] * Roger shares his journey of being vulnerable and authentic in church [31:00] * The best and worst spiritual advice Roger has been given [36:50] * Roger’s book recommendations about friendships [38:30]  Recognizing the Need for Spiritual Mentorship Growing up in the church, the only mentorship Roger had was from the Word of God. When Roger became a pastor, he prayerfully sought how to reach the community. The Lord kept putting adoption and community children’s connection in his heart.  The experience of adopting young boys in diapers, after he raised daughters, led him to seek support from Dad Tired. The support he received from the men's ministry group, guided him to a leadership role with Dad Tired.  Roger realized that Dad Tired was bringing solutions spiritual dads had for seeking connection. The support group allowed men to communicate the love they wanted to express for their families and their need for connection. Overcoming Obstacles that Hinder Men’s Mentoships Roger believes the younger generation of church-going men are looking for authentic people to be vulnerable with. They seek to form real connections with genuine people. They are seeking answers to life’s difficult questions. However, even when a younger generation desires mentorship, the obstacle older dads feel is accepting their vulnerability and sharing what they have learned from their mistakes in life. Sometimes the older men question what they have to offer in a mentoring relationship. Or they feel they can't make time for it. Roger suggests that any man wanting this relationship should act in obedience to this role and trust that God will honor the calling. Being Vulnerable as a Spiritual Father Many men may feel a weight, a burden that they are not good enough to be a spiritual mentor. Roger calls on his own experience of feeling like it was hard to measure up to other Godly men.  He reminds us that God called only one man to live perfectly, and Jesus already fulfilled that role. We human, spiritual fathers have made mistakes, and it is learning from those mistakes that qualifies us to be mentors. God redeems our mistakes, and young dads need to know that.  Young dads benefit from knowing there is redemption in struggles. It can offer freedom, grace, and love to the older dads confiding in the relationship too. Roger reminds us that the vulnerability to confess, confide, and pray for one another allows for healing. This mentorship allows for a connection greater than the men. It is a reminder that it is always about Jesus. Resources & People Mentioned * Made for Friendship by Drew Hunter [https://www.amazon.com/Made-Friendship-Relationship-Sorrows-Doubles/dp/143355819X] * Made for People by John Earley [https://www.christianbook.com/people-drift-loneliness-fight-life-friendship/justin-earley/9780310363002/pd/363004?srsltid=AfmBOopflcGfCtS4GEhuPFy8j8WcbSQnEPh_nJzpmZ6fdTc-niaalo9G] * DadTired Facebook Group [https://www.facebook.com/dadtiredblog/] Connect with Roger Bondenstab * Roger(at)dadtired.com * https://www.dadtired.com/ [https://www.dadtired.com/] * Connect on LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/in/roger-bodenstab-07b035202/] Connect With Spiritual Fathers * The Spiritual Fathers website [https://www.spiritualfathers.com/] * https://www.instagram.com/maninthemirrorministry/ [https://www.instagram.com/maninthemirrorministry/] * SpiritualFathers(at)ManInTheMirror.com Audio Production and Show Notes by - PODCAST FAST TRACK [https://www.podcastfasttrack.com/]

Ryan Reeves - Understanding Spiritual Fathers, Ep #7

Have you experienced the transformative power of mentorship and spiritual fathering? In this conversation, Ryan Reeves opens up about his journey from a rebellious youth to an engaged spiritual mentor.  He shares the challenges he faced in finding meaningful mentorship and how this lack of guidance in his personal life motivated him to demystify the mentorship process and encourage older men to share their life experiences authentically with the younger generation. Authenticity plays a huge role in effective mentorship. This episode explains why younger men value hearing about genuine struggles—over the illusion of perfection—and the barriers older men often face in becoming spiritual fathers.  With practical advice and heartfelt anecdotes, this episode offers a compelling look at how building authentic, relational connections can profoundly impact both mentors and mentees. Whether you're a seasoned mentor or someone seeking guidance, this episode is sure to inspire you.  You will want to hear this episode if you are interested in... * Ryan’s story about the challenges of finding a mentor [06:02] * Demystifying relationships and building connections through shared activities [11:15] * Why older men have concerns about spiritual mentorship [15:33] * Move from passivity to actively pursuing mentorship relationships [18:11] * Helping younger men grow despite barriers [22:46] * Older generations should be open about mistakes [23:37] * Prioritize connection over busyness for spiritual growth [30:15] * Best spiritual advice Ryan has ever been given [32:09] * Ryan’s book recommendations [34:01] Embracing Authenticity in Mentorship Ryan candidly shares his experiences with the lack of consistent spiritual mentoring during his formative years. He repeatedly looked for guidance but often found himself navigating these paths alone. Ryan’s quest for a mentor was about spiritual guidance and personal growth in areas like marriage and fatherhood. His struggles underscore a genuine need for reliable, authentic mentors who can guide younger men. A recurring theme in our conversation is the importance of authenticity in mentorship. Ryan and I discuss why older men’s past mistakes make them uniquely equipped to mentor younger men.  Authenticity is far more impactful than striving for an illusion of perfection. Some of the most significant barriers to becoming an effective mentor include not knowing many young men, time constraints, and feeling unqualified due to past mistakes.  Ryan stresses that these barriers can be overcome by embracing authenticity and being open about one’s struggles and lessons learned. Sharing real-life experiences, including failures, builds relatability and trust, making the mentoring relationship more impactful. Fostering Meaningful Connections Men can often get stuck on the practical aspects of forming meaningful connections. Ryan suggests starting small and progressing naturally, similar to how you would build up your fitness through consistent, manageable efforts. Making connections with younger men based on common interests and actively engaging in relationships can hugely enhance the mentor-mentee dynamic.  Older mentors can build deeper, more impactful relationships when they focus on listening and simply being available for conversations. This genuine engagement helps mentees feel seen and heard, which in itself can be incredibly empowering and supportive.  The Best Spiritual Advice Ryan Was Ever Given Listening rather than offering solutions is a key part of being a great mentor. Ryan illustrates this importance by sharing an instance where an associate pastor advised against the idea of excessive spiritual busyness, which often masks a lack of true relational connections.  Ryan explains how this approach respects the Biblical principle of "one day in seven" for worship and rest, encouraging mentors to prioritize personal connection over overwhelming busyness. Being present and making time for meaningful interactions can have a more profound impact on spiritual growth than simply providing solutions or adding more tasks. When you prioritize relationships over external factors, you grow into your spiritual fatherhood. What starts as a spiritual friendship can develop over time into a deeper, more meaningful connection. The essence of mentorship is embracing authenticity, fostering genuine connections, and supporting younger men through life’s myriad challenges. Resources & People Mentioned * Know How We Got Our Bible [https://amzn.eu/d/gqNisM4] by Ryan Reeves * The Story of Creeds and Confessions: Tracing the Development of the Christian Faith [https://amzn.eu/d/1sgEcMD] by Donald Fairbairn and Ryan Reeves * The Spiritual Fathers Training Guidebook [https://www.spiritualfathers.com/subscription] by Ryan Reeves * The Bible: A Global History [https://amzn.eu/d/9qzxwQJ] by Bruce Gordon  Connect with Ryan Reeves * Follow on YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/@RyanReevesM]  Connect With Spiritual Fathers * The Spiritual Fathers website [https://www.spiritualfathers.com/] * SpiritualFathers(at)ManInTheMirror.com Subscribe to SHOW NAME Audio Production and Show Notes by - PODCAST FAST TRACK [https://www.podcastfasttrack.com/]