Spiritual Sobriety

7. You Can't Make Me Angry

Episode Summary In this episode of Spiritual Sobriety, Chris McDuffie introduces Dr. Paul O’s framework for building spiritual sobriety, using the metaphor of a baseball diamond to map the four bases of recovery: physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual sobriety. Drawing on Buddhist teachings, the 12 Steps, and the premise that no external person or event can make us angry, Chris offers a practical and empowering vision of what it means to round the bases of sobriety. Not once, but again and again, one day at a time. What You’ll Learn: • Why our emotions, including anger, begin within us, not outside us • Dr. Paul O’s four bases of spiritual sobriety: physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual • How the Eight Worldly Preoccupations from Buddhism connect to our anger and suffering • What it means to stay “at bat” in long-term recovery with progress, not perfection • How physical, mental, and emotional healing all build toward a loving connection with yourself and others In This Episode: • Chris recaps the Buddha’s Four Noble Truths and the 12-Step journey covered so far • An introduction to Dr. Paul O’s book You Can’t Make Me Angry and its central premise • The baseball diamond exercise: labeling each base and identifying who is on the opposing team • First base—physical sobriety: eating, sleeping, hydrating, exercising, and healing the body • Second base—mental sobriety: confronting the “thinking disease” of addiction and trauma • Third base—emotional sobriety: identifying, feeling, and responding from our core values • Home base—spiritual sobriety: choosing love, forgiveness, and seeing the good in ourselves and others • W.H. Auden’s poem As I Walked Out One Evening and loving our crooked neighbor with our crooked heart Featured Practice: Take 5–10 minutes today to work with the baseball diamond exercise. You will need a pen and paper. 1. Draw a baseball diamond on your paper and label the bases: First Base: Physical Sobriety, Second Base: Mental Sobriety, Third Base: Emotional Sobriety, Home Base: Spiritual Sobriety. 2. Ask yourself: who is on the opposing team trying to tag you out? Name the emotions, people, or patterns at each position. Anger at third base, fear as the opposing manager, and so on. 3. Now fill in your own team. Who is supporting your recovery? Who is your coach? 4. Sit with this question: “Am I committed to rounding the bases again and again, not just once?” 5. Notice what arises without judgment. Let it be information, not indictment. Journal Prompt: “Where am I on the baseball diamond today and what would it look like to take one honest step toward the next base?” Key Quote: “Spiritual sobriety is a fluid, dynamic dance and freedom from our suffering, from dukkha, from our attachments, and from grabbing and aversions.” Chris McDuffie is a licensed psychotherapist, mindfulness teacher and sober coach in private practice. He is the CEO and lead therapist for Chris McDuffie Counseling, a leading concierge practice caring for mental and behavioral health needs. He lives in Carlsbad, California, and holds a  Master of Social Work from Fordham University. He teaches recovery from addiction and co-occurring disorders through the spiritual practices of Buddhism and the 12 Steps. If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone walking their own sobriety path. Follow Chris for reflections and meditations: Website [https://www.chrismcduffietherapy.com/]: https://www.chrismcduffietherapy.com/ Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/chris__mcduffie/]: https://www.instagram.com/chris__mcduffie/ Insight Timer [https://insighttimer.com/buddhanature]: https://insighttimer.com/buddhanature You don’t have to walk this path alone.

6. Balancing Suffering with Gratitude

Episode 6: Balancing Suffering with Gratitude  Episode Summary  In this episode of Spiritual Sobriety, Chris McDuffie explores the relationship between suffering and gratitude as complementary forces in recovery. Drawing on the Buddha’s Four Noble Truths and the teachings of Thich Nhat Hanh, Chris guides listeners through a live contemplative exercise and offers a fresh perspective: that learning to sit with suffering, rather than escape it. What You’ll Learn:  • Why suffering and gratitude are not opposites—but partners in healing  • How our attachments and aversions generate anxiety, guilt, and remorse  • The Buddhist teaching of No Mud, No Lotus as a guide through pain  • Why turning inward—not outward—is the path to lasting relief  • A practical gratitude exercise to use daily as a relapse prevention tool  In This Episode:  • Chris introduces the mantra: “It’s okay to look at the past, just don’t stare” • The First Noble Truth and how we generate our own suffering through attachment • Cicero’s teaching that gratitude is the father of all virtues  • Thich Nhat Hanh’s No Mud, No Lotus and the secret to transforming suffering • The dog tied to a post: a Buddhist metaphor for how addiction traps us in circles • A live two-column T-chart gratitude exercise with reflection on the feelings it surfaces  Featured Practice:  Take 5–10 minutes today to practice this contemplative gratitude exercise. You will need a pen and paper.  1. Find a quiet space and take three slow, grounding breaths.  2. Draw a T-chart on your paper. Label the left column: I am grateful for having. Label the right column: I am grateful for not having.  3. Free-write in both columns. There are no wrong answers—this is your personal reflection. 4. Notice what feelings arise and write them down. If nothing surfaces, that is okay. 5. Ask yourself: “What does this list reveal about what I truly value?” Journal Prompt:  “What would it look like if I trusted the process of healing instead of reaching outward to escape my pain?”  Key Quote:  “Bringing gratitude to my suffering is the most loving, kind way to respond. Remember—no mud, no lotus.” Chris McDuffie is a licensed psychotherapist, mindfulness teacher and sober coach in private practice. He is the CEO and lead therapist for Chris McDuffie Counseling, a leading concierge practice caring for mental and behavioral health needs. He lives in Carlsbad, California, and holds a  Master of Social Work from Fordham University. He teaches recovery from addiction and co-occurring disorders through the spiritual practices of Buddhism and the 12 Steps. If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone walking their own sobriety path. Follow Chris for reflections and meditations: Website [https://www.chrismcduffietherapy.com/]: https://www.chrismcduffietherapy.com/ Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/chris__mcduffie/]: https://www.instagram.com/chris__mcduffie/ Insight Timer [https://insighttimer.com/buddhanature]: https://insighttimer.com/buddhanature You don’t have to walk this path alone.

5. Buddhism and the 12 Steps: Defining Our Suffering

Episode 5: Buddhism and the 12 Steps: Defining Our Suffering Episode Summary In this episode of Spiritual Sobriety, Chris McDuffie explores the first of Buddha's Four Noble Truths: the Causes of Suffering. He delves into how suffering is rooted in attachments and aversions, drawing parallels between Buddhist teachings and the 12-Step programs. Chris also honors the works of influential authors and spiritual teachers who have shaped his understanding of spiritual sobriety. What You’ll Learn: * The two chief causes of suffering: attachments and aversions * The role of mindfulness in overcoming suffering * How Buddhism and the 12-Step programs intersect in addressing suffering * Practical ways to use awareness to release suffering and create joy In This Episode: * Chris introduces the teachings of Buddhist scholar Joseph Goldstein on the causes of suffering * How Buddha used the image of a wagon wheel to explain suffering * The connection between mindfulness and spiritual sobriety * Practical tools for letting go of attachments and achieving nirvana daily Featured Practice: Take 3–5 minutes today to practice mindful awareness: 1. Find a quiet space and take three deep breaths. 2. Reflect on any attachments or cravings that might be causing you suffering today. 3. Ask yourself: “How can I release this attachment and move toward peace?” Journal Prompt: “What attachments am I holding onto that are causing me suffering, and how can I let them go today?” Key Quote: “The way out of suffering is practicing skillful, mindful awareness and releasing from these addictions.” Chris McDuffie is a licensed psychotherapist, mindfulness teacher and sober coach in private practice. He is the CEO and lead therapist for Chris McDuffie Counseling, a leading concierge practice caring for mental and behavioral health needs. He lives in Carlsbad, California, and holds a  Master of Social Work from Fordham University. He teaches recovery from addiction and co-occurring disorders through the spiritual practices of Buddhism and the 12 Steps. If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone walking their own sobriety path. Follow Chris for reflections and meditations: Website [https://www.chrismcduffietherapy.com/]: https://www.chrismcduffietherapy.com/ Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/chris__mcduffie/]: https://www.instagram.com/chris__mcduffie/ Insight Timer [https://insighttimer.com/buddhanature]: https://insighttimer.com/buddhanature You don’t have to walk this path alone.

4. The Causes of Suffering

What if your suffering isn’t coming from what’s happening to you… but from how you’re relating to it? In this episode, Chris introduces a powerful workshop-style practice to help you see the root of your suffering in real time. Through a simple visual exercise, you’ll begin to understand how both grasping and resisting quietly shape your experience. In this episode of the Spiritual Sobriety Podcast, Chris explores: • The two primary causes of suffering: attachment and aversion  • How “grabbing” and “pushing away” create internal tension  • The connection between Buddhist teachings and the 12 Steps  • How mindfulness helps interrupt automatic reactions This episode is for you if: • You feel stuck in patterns you can’t seem to break  • You notice yourself clinging to or avoiding certain people, places, or behaviors  • You’re ready to understand your suffering at a deeper level The Invitation Suffering doesn’t just come from what we experience.  It often comes from how tightly we hold on or how strongly we push away. As Chris shares, “attachments and aversions are the two key sources of suffering.” In this episode, you’re invited to slow down and notice where this is happening in your own life, not with judgment, but with awareness. Featured Practice Take 5 minutes today to try this: 1. Draw a simple half-circle with two arrows: one labeled “attachments” and one labeled “aversions.” 2. Write down examples of where you are grabbing onto something or pushing something away. 3. Pause and ask yourself: “What am I wanting right now? What am I not wanting?” Begin to notice the moment before the reaction. Journal Prompt “Where in my life am I creating suffering by holding on or pushing away?” Write freely. Let patterns reveal themselves. Key Reflection “The grabbing and the pushing away are what generate our suffering.” If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone walking their own sobriety path. Chris McDuffie is a licensed psychotherapist, mindfulness teacher and sober coach in private practice. He is the CEO and lead therapist for Chris McDuffie Counseling, a leading concierge practice caring for mental and behavioral health needs. He lives in Carlsbad, California, and holds a  Master of Social Work from Fordham University. He teaches recovery from addiction and co-occurring disorders through the spiritual practices of Buddhism and the 12 Steps. If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone walking their own sobriety path. Follow Chris for reflections and meditations: Website [https://www.chrismcduffietherapy.com/]: https://www.chrismcduffietherapy.com/ Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/chris__mcduffie/]: https://www.instagram.com/chris__mcduffie/ Insight Timer [https://insighttimer.com/buddhanature]: https://insighttimer.com/buddhanature You don’t have to walk this path alone.

3. The Three Jewels: Awakening, Practice, and Community

Show Notes Recovery is not only about stopping harmful behaviors. It is about waking up to our lives with greater awareness, honesty, and connection. In this episode, Chris introduces the Three Jewels of Buddhism and explores how they relate to the principles of the Twelve Steps. These three foundations offer a framework for spiritual practice that supports sobriety, awakening, and meaningful connection with others. In this episode, Chris explores: • The meaning of the word Buddha and the idea of awakening • The Dharma as a path of mindfulness, understanding, and love • The Sangha as the importance of spiritual community • How these three jewels parallel the principles found in the Twelve Steps This episode is for you if: • You are curious how Buddhist teachings connect with recovery  • You want a deeper understanding of spiritual awakening  • You are learning how community supports long-term sobriety The Invitation The Three Jewels are the foundational refuges of Buddhist practice: the Buddha, the Dharma, and the Sangha. The Buddha represents the possibility of awakening. In Buddhism, the Buddha is not viewed as a god but as a human being who awakened to the causes of suffering. His life reminds us that awakening is possible for all of us. The Dharma refers to the teachings and practices that guide us toward awareness, wisdom, and compassion. These teachings are offered as suggestions and practices that help us see clearly and live more skillfully. The Sangha is the spiritual community. It is the place where we practice these teachings together, support one another, and learn to cultivate loving awareness in relationship. Together, these three jewels remind us that recovery is not meant to be practiced alone. Awakening happens through practice, guidance, and community. Featured Practice Take a few quiet breaths. 1. Sit comfortably and allow your body to relax into the support beneath you. 2. Bring your awareness to your breath as it naturally rises and falls. 3. Notice the beginning, middle, and end of each inhale and exhale. If the mind wanders, gently bring your attention back to the breath. Simply watch the breath move in and out, allowing it to breathe you. Journal Prompt How do the three refuges of awakening, practice, and community show up in my own recovery? Write honestly and notice where these supports already exist in your life. Key Reflection “A bad Sangha is better than no Sangha.” Chris McDuffie is a licensed psychotherapist, mindfulness teacher and sober coach in private practice. He is the CEO and lead therapist for Chris McDuffie Counseling, a leading concierge practice caring for mental and behavioral health needs. He lives in Carlsbad, California, and holds a  Master of Social Work from Fordham University. He teaches recovery from addiction and co-occurring disorders through the spiritual practices of Buddhism and the 12 Steps. If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone walking their own sobriety path. Follow Chris for reflections and meditations: Website [https://www.chrismcduffietherapy.com/]: https://www.chrismcduffietherapy.com/ Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/chris__mcduffie/]: https://www.instagram.com/chris__mcduffie/ Insight Timer [https://insighttimer.com/buddhanature]: https://insighttimer.com/buddhanature You don’t have to walk this path alone.