State of Mine

Q1 Called, We Answered

Our Season One finale! In this episode, hosts Lia Neal and Kanwulia Gwam reflect on intentions for 2026. They share habits (bedtime tea, nightly reflection via dictation), permissions (reality TV, enjoying the present), and Q2 plans and close by expressing gratitude for a vibrant Q1, inviting audience feedback, and teasing season two. 💌 Follow State of Mine Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/state-of-mine/id1868558247 Spotify: https://tinyurl.com/4zhmnnd9 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/stateofminepod/

What She Carried so I Wouldn’t Have To

This episode centers on lessons from mothers—one from China/Hong Kong to New York, the other from Nigeria to Switzerland to the U.S.—highlighting adaptability, resourcefulness, work ethic, faith/optimism, and “go where you’re wanted.” Kanwulia and Lia examine which lessons to unlearn, including nonstop productivity, poor rest habits, and limited vocabulary for feelings, and reflect on how immigrant survival strategies don’t always translate to modern corporate life 💌 Follow State of MineApple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/state-of-mine/id1868558247 Spotify: https://tinyurl.com/4zhmnnd9Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/stateofminepod/ 00:00 Girl Scout Cookie Hot Take 01:58 OpenAI Versus Anthropic 08:28 Moms Background Stories 10:47 Lesson 1: Adaptability 14:29 Lesson 2: Resourcefulness 17:46 Lesson 3: Work Ethic 22:03 Parents Evolve Over Time 23:34 Youngest Child Perspective 26:16 Optimism And Faith 29:35 Resilience Without Language 32:13 Lesson 4: Go Where You're Wanted 34:07 Unlearning 1: Merit Myth At Work 36:25 Unlearning 2: Hustle And Rest 42:00 Unlearning 3: Feelings Vocabulary And Healing 45:17 From Survival To Self Actualization

Tell Me About Yourself: Brand + Perception

In this episode of State of Mine, co-hosts Kanwulia Gwam and Lia Neal explore perception, personal branding, and authenticity. Using Paris Hilton’s deliberate, recognizable brand and her ability to leverage public perception to achieve philanthropic and political goals, they consider how everyday people also have brands—what others say about them when they’re not in the room—and the gap between self-perception and others’ impressions. They reflect on stereotypes, approachability, and how behavior, appearance, and reliability shape brand, while balancing clear communication with accepting being misunderstood and limiting others’ access. They connect curated social media and celebrity mystery to branding, discuss people-pleasing and the “five whys,” and emphasize grounding practices like journaling, boredom, and identity acceptance, including a Neil Diamond song about feeling unmoored and finding community through partial alignment. 💌 Follow State of Mine Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/state-of-mine/id1868558247 Spotify: https://tinyurl.com/4zhmnnd9 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/stateofminepod/00:00 Welcome00:42 No How To Podcast03:09 Paris Hilton Branding05:20 Your Personal Brand06:55 Perception Gaps08:23 Stereotypes And First Impressions13:09 Okay To Be Misunderstood16:46 Curated Mystery Online18:31 Crushes And Projection19:58 Approval and Misunderstanding21:38 Stopping People Pleasing24:38 Five Whys Framework25:47 Journaling and Slowing Down29:08 Neil Diamond Identity Song32:34 Living Beyond Boxes37:45 Owning Your Brand41:30 Control the Narrative43:17 Closing Thoughts

Stop Networking, Start Nurturing

In this episode of State of Mine, Kanwulia Gwam and Lia Neal discuss adult friendships and finding community after life transitions and moves. Lia shares how moving to Indiana post-college taught her to be intentional about making friends through existing communities like work, church small groups, and a boxing gym, emphasizing shared interests and repeated touchpoints. They discuss capacity limits for maintaining relationships, New York’s rise of community-building spaces (running clubs, social clubs, gym “squads,” Partiful events), and a dating app concept (Breeze) designed to push in-person meetings. The hosts reframe “networking” as “nurturing,” highlighting curiosity, better event design, and simple practices for staying in touch—thinking-of-you messages, photos, voice notes, and updates—plus qualities they value in friendships: honesty, inspiration, ease, and feeling energized. 💌 Follow State of MineApple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/state-of-mine/id1868558247 Spotify: https://tinyurl.com/4zhmnnd9Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/stateofminepod/ 00:00 Podcast Intro 00:21 Birthday Bar Crawl Game 03:00 Traitors Strategy Recap 04:33 Why Adult Friendships Matter 05:05 Making Friends After Moving 06:20 Work Church Gym Communities 08:18 How Guys Make Friends 10:51 Shared Interests and Familiarity 12:36 Social Capacity and Burnout 17:23 NYC Community Spaces 20:44 Organic Dating and Events 23:30 Networking Versus Nurturing 26:45 Designing Better Events 27:54 Networking Versus Nurturing 29:45 Curiosity Makes Connections 32:23 Subway Story Surprise 34:48 Why Nurturing Feels Hard 35:36 Simple Check In Habits 40:08 Tech That Builds Closeness 43:00 Commit Phase Mindset 48:24 Curating Your Circle 50:44 Closing Reflections and Outro

Comparison, the Thief of Joy

In this episode of State of Mine, co-hosts Kanwulia Gwam and Lia Neal explore how comparison becomes a conditioned habit—and how it can steal joy when it turns into self-rejection. They trace early roots of comparison to external influences (a teacher publicly returning geometry exams from highest to lowest score, and family/cultural norms of comparing kids), then discuss how competitive swimming and later environments like feedback-heavy workplaces, business school grading on a curve, social media, and LinkedIn reinforce the pattern. They unpack Teddy Roosevelt’s “comparison is the thief of joy,” distinguish healthy comparison as motivation from harmful comparison that undermines identity and self-trust, and share practical interrupts: changing social media habits, saying “I’m not thinking about this” to stop spirals, zooming out, and not comparing personal weaknesses to others’ strengths. They also name the “mosaic” trap of combining different people’s strengths into an unrealistic ideal, reflect on how comparison has cost them peace and pride, and close with a Dr. Seuss reminder that no one is “youer than you.” 💌 Follow State of Mine Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/state-of-mine/id1868558247 Spotify: https://tinyurl.com/4zhmnnd9 Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@StateofMinepodcast 00:00 Welcome to State of Mine 00:21 Behind the Scenes Setup 02:27 Astrology Summer Forecast 03:53 Geometry and Comparison 06:04 Family and Culture Comparisons 07:24 Listener Prompt and Swimming 09:59 Work and Social Media Triggers 15:46 LinkedIn Highlight Reels 16:51 Comparison Thief of Joy 17:22 Reframing Identity and Strengths 18:47 When Comparison Becomes Self Rejection 19:36 Stop Comparing Weaknesses 21:13 Interrupt the Comparison Loop 22:15 Zoom Out for Perspective 24:30 Highlight Reel Mosaic Trap 26:39 Aspiration vs Self Rejection 28:53 What Comparison Costs Us 31:55 Reclaiming Joy 34:22 Grounded Identity Moving Forward 35:57 Dr Seuss Final Takeaway