I Love You Exactly As You Are: Why Neurodivergent People and Their Animals Are Everything

I Love You Exactly As You Are: Why Neurodivergent People and Their Animals Are Everything

Jess Kwerel LPC, LCPC is a psychotherapist who specializes in pet grief and she became the person she needed. When she couldn't find a therapist who truly understood the depth of losing an animal, she built that practice herself. Since 2018, she's been doing the work most therapists won't touch: sitting with people in the most untethered, disorienting, portal-walking grief there is. In this episode, Jess explains why the brain doesn't differentiate between skin and fur, it's the same attachment system, the same oxytocin, the same neural pathways as our deepest human bonds. She talks about why "at least" is one of the most harmful things you can say to a grieving person, why "moving on" is the wrong framework entirely, and what it actually looks like to move forward with your animal instead. We also talk about why neurodivergent people have especially deep bonds with their animals, why dogs just make sense to autistic people in a way humans often don't, and what happened when Jess had to take a step back after unexpectedly losing her own senior hound, Daisy earlier this year. This one is for everyone who has ever loved an animal with their whole heart. Which, if you're listening to this podcast, is probably all of you. So grab your favorite furry friend, and enjoy the laughs and tears with Jess Kwerel! * Instagram: @PetLostDC [instagram.com/petlossdc] * Website: https://jessicakwerel.com/ [https://jessicakwerel.com/] * Resources, articles, podcast recommendations, and books available on her website Mentioned in this episode: * Attachment theory and the neurobiology of bonding * Oxytocin and pair bonding * The difference between sympathy and empathy ("at least" vs "I'm right here") * Buford and Daisy (Jess's dogs) * Harvey (Herby) Pickles (The dog Kory will compare all dogs to forever) * Senior dog adoption Resources: * Learn more about high-masking, late-diagnosed autism: IG: @neurokoryous [instagram.com/neurokoryous] * Unmasking Retreats: koryandreas.com/retreat [http://koryandreas.com] * YouTube: @ThatsMePod [https://www.youtube.com/@ThatsMePod]

Nobody Taught Us This: A Psych NP on Medicating Autistic Brains

Lindsey Burd is a psychiatric nurse practitioner who specializes in neurodivergent care. About 70-80% of her caseload is neurodivergent. She came to this work the hard way: a autistic sister with high support needs, two family members lost to suicide, her own misdiagnosis with bipolar disorder, and years of navigating a psychiatric system that didn't have the language for what she was actually experiencing. In this episode, Lindsey breaks down what it actually looks like to prescribe medication for autistic brains: why she goes low and slow, why paradoxical reactions are so common, and why she schedules 90-minute intakes when everyone else does 15. Lindsey talks about what BPD and bipolar misdiagnoses have in common (both are wildly overused with neurodivergent women), why she always asks "why" when a patient doesn't take their medication, and why the psychiatric community has a long way to go when it comes to high-masking autism. We also talk about her own story, reading alone in kindergarten, sensory overload in overcrowded hallways, walking into the woods instead of going to class, her dad sitting on the electrical box with the "bad kids", and POTS and EDS making an already hard world harder. This is the episode to send to anyone who has ever had a bad experience with a prescriber. And to anyone who is still carrying a diagnosis that doesn't fit. Find Lindsey Burd: * Website: burdmentalhealth.com/ [https://www.burdmentalhealth.com/] * TikTok: @Lindseyburd [www.tiktok.com/lindseyburd] * Instagram: @Lindseybpsychnp [www.instagram.com/lindseybpsychnp] * Private practice in Florida and Maryland * Meds course with Lindsey and Kory coming soon Mentioned in this episode: * Paradoxical reactions to medication * BPD and bipolar misdiagnosis patterns * POTS (Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome) * EDS (Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome) * PDA profile * Accommodations being denied in the current political climate Resources: * Learn more about high-masking, late-diagnosed autism: Instagram @neurokoryous [instagram.com/neurokoryous] * Unmasking Retreats: koryandreas.com [https://koryandreas.com/retreat] * YouTube: @ThatsMePod [https://www.youtube.com/@ThatsMePod]

Sex, Desire, and the Neurodivergent Brain: A Sex Therapist Gets Real

Dr. Emma Smith is a sex therapist, trauma specialist, and host of the Intimate Philosopher podcast. She has a PhD, a practice full of Type A++ overachievers, and a very low threshold for false pretense... which, as she says, might be autism, might be trauma, or might just be that she's from New Jersey. In this episode, Emma breaks down what sex therapy actually looks like, why desire gets squashed in the highest-achieving people, and what happens to intimacy after military trauma. She talks about relationship agreements, why polyamory is more like AP Physics than the "easy way out," and why neurodivergent people are actually wired for designing relationships that make sense. We also talk about the moment Emma nearly fell out of her front-row seat at one of Kory's presentations, when she realized she doesn't walk into rooms the way other people do. And what it means to live in a different reality than you thought you were in. This conversation is funny, real, and will make you think differently about desire, intimacy, and what your relationship could look like if you actually designed it on purpose. Find Dr. Emma Smith * Instagram: @EmmaSmithPhD [instagram.com/emmasmithphd] * Podcast: The Intimate Philosopher [https://open.spotify.com/show/1QAJNxwFElMIS9QuMIsnHc?si=2cb2280be36d4425] * Substack: The Intimate Philosopher — Things Left Unsaid [https://open.substack.com/pub/emmasmithphd/p/welcome-to-the-intimate-philosopher?r=3en7ht&utm_campaign=post-expanded-share&utm_medium=web] * Workshops and masterclasses coming soon Mentioned in this episode: * Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine [https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/35900387-eleanor-oliphant-is-completely-fine] (book) * Relationship anarchy * Relationship agreement intensives * Window of tolerance Resources: * Learn more about high-masking, late-diagnosed autism: Instagram @neurokoryous [instagram.com/neurokoryous] * Unmasking Retreats: koryandreas.com [http://koryandreas.com] * YouTube: @ThatsMePod [youtube.com/thatsmepod]

"If I Could Do It, I Would": Executive Dysfunction and Late-Diagnosed ADHD

Jessica Hazard is a therapist in New York City who spent years working in public health before working for her own private practice. She worked at school-based health centers, and community health clinics. She was also the clinical director at an agency serving young people who had been commercially sexually exploited. She got diagnosed with ADHD at 41, after spending years working with ADHD clients and thinking, "Wait, why do I relate to everything they're saying?" In this episode, Jessica talks about the grief that came with late diagnosis ("What would my life have looked like if I had known this?"), the "lazy" narrative and executive dysfunction, ADHD piles and moral failure, the overlap between ADHD and autism, why therapy boundaries were designed to protect therapists (not clients), and how her own neurodivergence makes her a better therapist for neurodivergent clients. We also talk about the harm of evidence-based models that weren't tested on neurodivergent people, why she tells all her teenage clients about her own ADHD, and why self-esteem is the real issue, not the way neurodivergence shows up. Find Jessica Hazard: * Alma profile [https://secure.helloalma.com/providers/jessica-hazard/]: Jessica Hazard * Private practice in New York City (licensed in NY) * Works with adolescents and adults who have experienced trauma * Insurance accepted Mentioned in this episode: * ADHD piles * The "lazy" narrative * Rejection sensitivity * The overlap between ADHD and autism * Resources: * Learn more about high-masking, late-diagnosed autism: Instagram @neurokoryous [instagram.com/neurokoryous] * Unmasking Retreats: koryandreas.com [http://koryandreas.com] * YouTube: @ThatsMePod [https://www.youtube.com/@ThatsMePod]

Anorexia Autistica: Rewriting Everything We Know About Autism and Eating Disorders

Livia Sara is writing what she calls her "motherfucker book!" Over 100,000 words on anorexia and autism, complete with the entire history of both conditions and how their storylines are deeply intertwined. It's called Anorexia Autistica, and she wants it in the DSM one day. She writes on this topic from both lived and professional experiences and is changing the world of eating disorders for autistic people! In this episode, Livia breaks down everything we get wrong about eating disorders in autistic people, from the "eating disorder is a separate entity" model to forced compliance in treatment centers. She explains why it's not about body image, why weighing food actually helped her eat MORE, and why the word "recovery" can be so dangerous. We also talk about her book Rainbow Girl, the adaptive eating spectrum, why "the eating disorder talking" is gaslighting, and what it means to live label-free while honoring that labels can save your life. Kory and Livia gush about autistic joy and their shared love for writing, learning, and helping people through their lived experience. Hearts crack open as we share our transformative experiences within deliberately created autistic community. Livia's Books and Programs: Livia Sara's website [https://www.livlabelfree.com/] Livia's books [https://livlabelfreebooks.com/]: "Rainbow Girl "(memoir), [https://livlabelfreebooks.com/products/rainbowgirl-paperback] "How to Beat Extreme Hunger: A Neurodiversity-Affirming Guide to Food Freedom" [https://livlabelfreebooks.com/products/extremehunger-ebook] "How To Get Out of Quasi Recovery" [https://livlabelfreebooks.com/products/how-to-get-out-of-quasi-recovery-paperback] Autistically ED Free Academy [https://www.livlabelfree.com/group]: 8-week group coaching program combining autism and eating adaptations Resources: Learn more about high-masking, late-diagnosed autism: Instagram.com/neurokoryous [http://Instagram.com/neurokoryous] Kory's Unmasking Retreats [https://koryandreas.com] Online Neuro-affirming care course for therapists [https://koryandreas.com/onlineneurodivergencecourses]