The Art of Charm

How Your Mind Manipulates You | Owen Fitzpatrick

Most people think the biggest lies come from the media, politicians, or social media. They don’t. AJ sits down with psychologist and author Owen Fitzpatrick to explore the hidden force shaping our decisions every day: inner propaganda. Drawing from decades of research on beliefs, persuasion, cults, identity, and psychology, Owen explains why smart people are often the easiest to fool, how emotions shape our reality, and why the stories we tell ourselves can either limit us or transform us. This conversation explores self-deception, identity, influence, emotional intelligence, and the practical tools you can use to challenge your assumptions, update your beliefs, and become more resilient in a world full of competing narratives. Chapters 00:00 – The question that changed Owen’s life 07:00 – Why self-influence comes before influencing others 13:00 – What “inner propaganda” really means 20:00 – Why smart people are easier to fool 27:00 – Identity, beliefs, and the stories we tell ourselves 34:00 – Antifragile thinking and overcoming setbacks 40:00 – Information overload and attention management 47:00 – Influence, manipulation, and emotional triggers 54:00 – Emotional granularity and better decision making Episode resources: https://owenfitzpatrick.com/ [https://owenfitzpatrick.com/] Inner Propaganda [https://innerpropaganda.com/] Check in with AJ and Johnny! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AJ on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/ajharbinger/] ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Johnny on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/john-dzubak-b5182687/] ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AJ on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/ajharbinger/] ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Johnny on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/aocjohnny] ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/theartofcharm] ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.youtube.com/user/pickuppodcastvideos] ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on TikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/@theartofcharm] beliefs, psychology, self awareness, influence, persuasion, identity, emotional intelligence, critical thinking, mindset, self deception, cognitive bias, personal growth, resilience, decision making, emotional regulation, propaganda, social psychology, attention management, behavior change, mental health Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices [https://megaphone.fm/adchoices]

Why the Best Point in the Room Still Loses | Social Intelligence Briefing

Most people think influence comes from having authority. It doesn’t. AJ and Johnny continue their Hidden Language series by breaking down the architecture running underneath every high-value conversation. They reveal the three roles that shape outcomes — framers, validators, and reactors — and explain why the most influential person in the room is often not the most senior. If you've ever watched someone less qualified walk away with the opportunity, partnership, or promotion, this episode explains why. The difference often isn't expertise. It's who sets the context, who validates it, and who ends up reacting inside someone else's frame. Chapters 00:00 – The hidden architecture of high-value rooms 03:00 – Framers, validators, and reactors explained 06:00 – Why smart people lose influence 09:00 – The Framer’s Opening: shifting the room in 60 seconds 12:00 – Framing around what decision-makers care about 14:00 – Meetings, negotiations, and client conversations 16:00 – Why early frames have gravity 18:00 – The Observation → Frame → Question formula 20:00 – Turning influence into a repeatable skill Episode Resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠theartofcharm.com/test [theartofcharm.com/test%E2%81%A0] ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Unlockyourxfactor.com⁠⁠⁠ [https://Unlockyourxfactor.com] influence, executive presence, communication skills, leadership, social intelligence, persuasion, workplace communication, negotiation, networking, decision making, leadership communication, status dynamics, frame control, professional development, social skills, business communication, relationship building, influence skills, career growth, strategic communication Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices [https://megaphone.fm/adchoices]

Why Self-Awareness Beats Talent | Ian Cron

Most people think personality tests are about labeling people. They’re not. AJ sits down with Enneagram expert Ian Morgan Cron to explore how personality develops, why childhood experiences shape our patterns, and how self-awareness can transform relationships, leadership, and decision-making. Rather than focusing on behaviors alone, the Enneagram uncovers the fears, motivations, and stories driving those behaviors beneath the surface. This conversation dives into personality, emotional intelligence, leadership, conflict, relationships, and why real growth begins when you stop collecting information and start applying it. Chapters 00:00 – What the Enneagram is and how personality develops 06:00 – Self-awareness, strengths, and blind spots 12:00 – Core fears, motivations, and Enneagram types 18:00 – Childhood patterns, attachment, and personal stories 24:00 – Leadership, influence, and self-awareness 30:00 – Why information isn’t transformation 33:00 – Relationship patterns and recurring conflict 38:00 – Understanding others without losing curiosity 49:00 – The three centers of intelligence 53:00 – Using personality insights to make better decisions A Word From Our Sponsors Stop being over looked and unlock your X-Factor today at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠unlockyourxfactor.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://creators.spotify.com/dash/show/08XveTtMJIYffPwjjVwpSM/episode/1gOOp0lAKlT03TpUoHYn3e/unlockyourxfactor.com]  The very qualities that make you exceptional in your field are working against you socially.  Visit the ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠artofcharm.com/intel ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://creators.spotify.com/dash/show/08XveTtMJIYffPwjjVwpSM/episode/1gOOp0lAKlT03TpUoHYn3e/artofcharm.com/intel%20]for a social intelligence assessment and discover exactly what's holding you back. If you’ve put off organizing your finances, Monarch is for you. Use code CHARM at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠monarch.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://creators.spotify.com/dash/show/08XveTtMJIYffPwjjVwpSM/episode/1gOOp0lAKlT03TpUoHYn3e/monarch.com] in your browser for half off your first year.  Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince. Upgrade your wardrobe today at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠quince.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [http://quince.com/charm] for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Grow your way - with Headway! Get started at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠makeheadway.com/CHARM ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://creators.spotify.com/dash/show/08XveTtMJIYffPwjjVwpSM/episode/1gOOp0lAKlT03TpUoHYn3e/makeheadway.com/CHARM%20]and use my code CHARM for 25% off. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠mintmobile.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://creators.spotify.com/dash/show/08XveTtMJIYffPwjjVwpSM/episode/1gOOp0lAKlT03TpUoHYn3e/mintmobile.com/charm] Curious about your influence level?  Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠theartofcharm.com/influence⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [http://theartofcharm.com/influence]. Episode resources: https://ianmorgancron.com/ [https://ianmorgancron.com/] Check in with AJ and Johnny! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AJ on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/ajharbinger/] ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Johnny on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/john-dzubak-b5182687/] ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AJ on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/ajharbinger/] ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Johnny on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/aocjohnny] ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/theartofcharm] ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.youtube.com/user/pickuppodcastvideos] ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on TikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/@theartofcharm] enneagram, personality types, self awareness, emotional intelligence, leadership, personal growth, relationships, communication skills, psychology, conflict resolution, attachment theory, self improvement, human behavior, leadership development, mindfulness, decision making, social intelligence, personality assessment, relationship skills, self discovery Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices [https://megaphone.fm/adchoices]

The Hidden Language of High-Status People Pt 2 | Social Intelligence Briefing

Most people think high-value rooms reward the best ideas. They don’t. AJ and Johnny continue their series on hidden language by breaking down the qualification tests running underneath professional conversations. These tests sound like normal questions about credentials, consensus, commitment, value, or concern — but they're often evaluating something else entirely: your status awareness, frame control, and ability to recognize what’s really happening in the room. If you've ever left a conversation wondering why you suddenly felt the need to explain yourself, prove your value, overcommit, or seek approval, this episode gives you the framework to recognize the hidden test and respond without shrinking, chasing, or becoming defensive. Chapters 00:00 – The hidden qualification tests in high-value rooms 03:00 – The credential audit: proving yourself vs discussing ideas 05:30 – The consensus test: borrowed authority and approval 07:30 – The commitment test: defining the standard before accepting it 09:30 – The status test: when praise becomes containment 11:45 – The vulnerability test: concern, protection, and control 14:00 – Why analytical people get filtered out 16:00 – Recognizing frame shifts before they change the conversation Episode Resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠theartofcharm.com/status⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [http://theartofcharm.com/status] ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Unlockyourxfactor.com⁠⁠⁠ [https://Unlockyourxfactor.com] communication skills, executive presence, influence, social intelligence, leadership communication, networking, status dynamics, persuasion, relationship building, confidence, workplace communication, frame control, professional development, social skills, career growth, interpersonal communication, influence skills, leadership presence Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices [https://megaphone.fm/adchoices]

The Career Cost of Staying Quiet | Elaine Hering

Most people think having a voice means talking more. It doesn’t. AJ sits down with former Harvard Law lecturer Elaine Lin Hering to explore why so many capable people stay silent at work, in relationships, and in life — even when that silence comes at a cost. From people-pleasing and perfectionism to psychological safety, leadership, and self-advocacy, Elaine explains why silence is often learned, reinforced by our environments, and mistaken for professionalism. This episode offers a practical framework for speaking up without becoming someone you’re not — and why finding your voice has less to do with volume and more to do with expressing your perspective, needs, and expertise. Chapters 00:00 – Why capable people stay silent 07:00 – Speaking up without becoming someone else 14:00 – The hidden role of environment and leadership 22:00 – People-pleasing, perfectionism, and self-silencing 30:00 – High-stakes conversations and finding your voice 40:00 – The cost calculator: when to speak up 47:00 – The 4-step process for using your voice 55:00 – The 3 levers of influence beyond speaking louder communication skills, self-advocacy, leadership, psychological safety, people pleasing, perfectionism, confidence, workplace communication, difficult conversations, emotional intelligence, speaking up, career growth, influence, self expression, professional development, workplace culture, introverts, relationships, personal growth Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices [https://megaphone.fm/adchoices]