The Bell Howard Show

EP 67: Stand up for Meat!

"Now is the time for real men to stand up for meat!" says processed meat advocate Milo Hammet. Milo is a dietary consultant for Wisconsin public schools as well as the heir to Hammet Ham, the largest meat packer in the northern hemisphere. Also, Bell reads the latest obituaries. Who knows, maybe a name you know will pop up in today's episode!

Ep.66: It's Time to Panic!

Moral panics are fun for the whole family. From Satanic subliminal messages in cereal commercials to public library story hours apparently organized by a vast international network of groomers. Is there really something to be afraid of here or are we just getting our adult diapers in a bunch? Today's guest, author and psychologist Tim Prack, says you should start stocking up on adult diapers. Dr. Prack helps us sift through the nonsense and get to the diamond hard core of terror that lies at the heart of these so called "moral panics". He also tells us which moral panics are for liberal wusses, who can't stop suckling at the teat of the liberal news media, and which ones require our utmost vigilance. Separating fact from drag queen story hour might seem complicated at first but luckily Dr. Prack gives us a helpful acronym so you don't have to think so hard and save those brain cells for fighting the technocracy. And no it isn't WWJD! But it's pretty close. This one is a screamer, a panic stricken screamer! Can we panic now . . . please?

Ep.65: The Occultification of American Schools!

Do Marxists run the universities or is it really just a bunch of sorcerers? Columbia University or the nation of Columbia (what’s the difference?) is experiencing a rash of Ouija Board related anxiety attacks. As if New York city didn’t have enough anxiety attacks already! Today we’re get into the weeds on the most important news stories! Also, Putin and Xi are cozying up in Russia. While it looks like they are pretty chummy, they actually have nothing in common except their hatred for America. But maybe that’s all it will take to topple America’s Liberal Democratic Order. Then we look to that mighty news aggregator Yahoo, for a wonderful story about racism in a unnamed American restaurant. It’s kind of comforting that it could be in any small town in this great land of ours. This episode also features the two -time Swedish Morgan Freeman impersonation champion, so act like a polar bear and take the plunge! Articles discussed in this episode: Russia and China get Cozy – The HILL https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/the-only-thing-russia-and-china-have-in-common-is-undermining-the-us/ar-AA18ZCrL Ouija Board Blamed for "28 Possible Cases of Anxiety" Among Students at School in Colombia https://www.singularfortean.com/news/2023/3/22/ouija-board-blamed-for-28-possible-cases-of-anxiety-among-students-at-school-in-colombia Note: The Yahoo News Story is totally made up but probably exists somewhere online.

Ep.64: Hold Your Breath, Save the Planet!

You can be sure whatever crazy idea Bill Gates thinks up in his living room with his dog Dos, you'll eventually see on your social media feed. In this episode Bell takes on Bill's new policy suggestion that we limit our breathing in order to lower human emissions. Maybe the all mighty tech mogul is not sitting in so rarefied air after all. A sour scent of onions and relish from those nasty mouth-breathers down below wafts up to the top of Mt. Olympia. The be-speckled Olympian decrees we sacrifice more to save the planet. Chocolate coated crickets and Segways are just the beginning. They have plans for us, my children!  Also Bell reads an email from a Christian Baker specializing in gay wedding cakes. The gay customers he imagined flocking to him just aren't there. Should he give up his dream? Bell offers some advice to him, and with the help of co-host AI Simon offers more practical advice for anyone who wants to make their dreams come true. Truly an inspirational episode. Inhale! Exhale! Taste the freedom folks!  The Fushigi Times article: https://fushigitimes.wordpress.com/2023/03/12/hold-your-breath-save-the-planet-says-gates/ [https://fushigitimes.wordpress.com/2023/03/12/hold-your-breath-save-the-planet-says-gates/]  The Facebooks: https://www.facebook.com/bell.howard.754/ [https://www.facebook.com/bell.howard.754/]

Ep.63: OK, ChatGPT, Let's Dance!

In this episode, Bell joins the AI Revolution!  You know what they say: “If you can’t beat them, make them join your podcast.” Producer Wes hooks up with ChatGPT and gives it a human-like voice and voila, the Bell Howard Show gets its first co-host! Known as AI Simon, the natural sounding podcast-bot lends the authority of the internet, and the snappy comebacks of Andy Richter to be the sugar to Bell’s spice. Bell and AI Simon discuss Joe Biden’s chance for reelection and the role of generative AI in the new economy. In the second part of the show, AI Simon is really put to the test when a man calls in to ask for marriage advice. The tension that communism creates in a marriage is no laughing matter and the AI handles this uniquely human predicament with more empathy and understanding than, dare I say, a human! Judge for yourself whether or not Simon and the AI Mundus-Spiritus can replace podcasters! Here comes that huge sterilizing tsunami called the Singularity!