The Borderline Besties

Facebook Marketplace, Pet Psychics, & John Mayer's Big Head

Today we're: Discussing our Facebook Marketplace gripes Talking about a recent pet psychic claim Speculating why John Mayer's head is so big ...and so much more! Buckle up!

Catching Print, Drooling, & Finding Hair in our Food

Today we're: Discussing the "Catching Print" craze Judging Michael's overactive salivary glands Reminiscing on finding hair and bandaids in our food ...and much more! Buckle up!

Public Meltdowns, Olive Garden, & Thyroid Cancer

Today we're: Reminiscing on some of Michael's most recent (and valid) public meltdowns Pretending we're waiting for a table at Olive Garden in 1998 Reflecting on Abbey's thyroid cancer diagnosis ...and much more! Buckle up!

What If...?

Today we're asking the important hard-hitting questions: "What if there's no life after death?" "What if people were born old and died young?" "What if our buttcheeks had nipples?" Buckle up!

Our Aging Bodies

Batshit Banger: Abbey curated the perfect cart at Home Goods. What happens next you WON'T believe. Meat & potatoes: Today we’re each bringing to the table…how getting older is affecting each of us. Our bones pop when we stand, we have turkey necks...it's not lookin' good folks. Dilemma: A woman's husband pooped his pants. She now wants nothing to do with him. Listen in to see what happened and the borderline professional advice we offer up...