The Hidden Emotions Behind Clutter

The Hidden Emotions Behind Clutter

When does clutter become more than too much stuff? For many people, clutter is simply a practical challenge. But for others, it can become linked to grief, shame, overwhelm, changing identities and life experiences that are much harder to untangle than the possessions themselves. In this episode, Dr Lee David is joined by professional organiser and author Lesley Spellman to explore the hidden emotions behind clutter. The conversation looks beyond the practical task of tidying and asks why it can feel so difficult to let things go in the first place. They discuss how possessions can become connected to memories, hopes for the future and versions of ourselves that are hard to leave behind. The episode explores why clutter may build up during periods of stress, poor mental health, trauma or loss, and why simply trying to become more organised rarely addresses what is happening underneath. Lee and Lesley reflect on the role of shame and self-criticism, how clutter can affect confidence and relationships, and why many people find it difficult to ask for help. They also discuss the comfort that possessions can sometimes provide, and how that comfort can gradually become something that limits the life we want to live. The conversation explores why small, manageable steps are often more effective than dramatic clear-outs, how confidence can grow through practice and why understanding the emotions attached to our belongings can make change feel more possible. Rather than focusing solely on creating a tidier home, this episode reflects on how creating space in our environment can sometimes create more room for connection, wellbeing and the things that matter most. Key moments 00:00 When clutter becomes a comfort 01:29 A house full of clutter 04:05 Shame and isolation 06:14 Understanding the emotional side of clutter 09:41 Clutter, safety and control 11:30 Clothes, identity and life changes 13:14 Building your decluttering muscle 15:02 Finding your bigger why 19:58 Grief and letting go 26:49 The power of community 28:36 Why small steps matter 31:26 What changes after decluttering 36:41 Where to start About the guest Lesley Spellman is a professional organiser, author and co-founder of The Declutter Hub, a global online membership supporting thousands of people to declutter and simplify their homes. She co‑hosts The Declutter Hub Podcast [https://declutterhub.com/the-podcast/] with Ingrid Jansen, a show ranked in the top 0.5% of podcasts worldwide with over 3 million downloads and more than 400 episodes. Lesley is co‑author of Reset Your Home [https://amzn.eu/d/0cT3JpYI] and also runs The Clutter Fairy, a successful professional organising service operating across the North West and Midlands in the UK. With 16 years of hands-on experience, she helps people move from overwhelm and guilt to calm, confident living. You can contact Lesley via Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/declutterhub/], Facebook [https://www.facebook.com/declutterhub/?locale=en_GB], or the Declutter Hub website [https://declutterhub.com/] About the host Dr Lee David [https://linktr.ee/dr.lee.david] is a GP, CBT therapist and author specialising in mental health and wellbeing. Lee has written many books [https://amzn.to/4o0YKLu] on CBT, mindfulness and teen wellbeing, and speaks regularly at conferences and in the media. Away from work she enjoys running, hiking, singing in a choir and spending time outdoors with her family. You can find Lee through her website [https://thechoicespace.co.uk/] and on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/dr.lee.david/], TikTok [tiktok.com/@dr.lee.david] (@dr.lee.david), Facebook [https://www.facebook.com/people/The-Choice-Space/61581814647861/?sk=about]and LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/in/lee-david-14606818/].  You can find more about her books, wellbeing courses and therapy here:  https://linktr.ee/dr.lee.david [https://linktr.ee/dr.lee.david]

Why Movement Matters In Midlife

What if movement in midlife is less about performance – and more about protecting the life you want to live? In this episode of The Choice Space Podcast, Dr Lee David speaks with Dr Juliet McGrattan – former GP, runner, coach and author of The Runner’s Guide to Menopause – about why movement becomes especially important during midlife and menopause, and how to approach it in a way that feels realistic and supportive. For many women, movement suddenly feels harder. Energy, motivation, recovery, aches and pains, changing bodies and busy lives can all affect how exercise feels. Others may feel unsure where to begin, particularly if movement has never felt enjoyable or part of their identity. Lee and Juliet explore the many ways movement can support health and wellbeing during midlife – from improving mood, managing stress and supporting social connection, to reducing future risk of conditions such as heart disease, type 2 diabetes and frailty. They discuss why strength, mobility and balance become increasingly important during menopause, and how small, sustainable changes can make a meaningful difference over time. The conversation also reflects on the pressures women often place on themselves around exercise. They discuss moving away from comparison, body shame and perfectionism, and instead finding ways of moving that feel flexible, enjoyable and personally meaningful – whether that means running, walking, strength work or simply starting where you are. This is a thoughtful conversation about meeting your body where it is, valuing movement for what it gives back, and building habits that support the life you want to keep living. Key moments 00:00 Why movement feels harder 04:16 Barriers to exercise in midlife 05:29 Why movement matters for health 09:14 Running as a gift to yourself 11:23 Making running feel enjoyable 13:07 Walking as a starting point 14:12 Listening to your body 16:59 What rest days really mean 19:12 Choice Pause – meeting your body where it is 21:05 Celebrating small wins 22:39 Staying motivated to move 29:14 Strength, mobility and ageing well 35:17 A small first step into movement About the guest Dr Juliet McGrattan is a former GP, award-winning author, international speaker and coach who helps women improve their health and wellbeing through movement. Once an inactive mum and GP, Juliet’s own journey into running led her to become a marathon runner and passionate advocate for women’s health through exercise. She now combines medical knowledge with a practical, accessible approach to movement, helping women feel stronger, healthier and more confident in active lives. Juliet is the resident health expert for 261 Fearless and Women’s Running magazine, co-founder of the UK charity 261 Club UK. SShe is the author of several books including: Sorted: The Active Woman's Guide to Health [https://www.amazon.co.uk/Sorted-Active-Womans-Guide-Health/dp/1472924797] (2017), and The Runner’s Guide to Menopause: Your essential toolkit for strong, happy and healthy training [ttps://www.amazon.co.uk/Runners-Guide-Menopause-essential-training/dp/1399423851] was published in March 2026.  You can connect with Juliet via her website [https://drjulietmcgrattan.com/], Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/drjulietmcgrattan/], Facebook [https://www.facebook.com/DrJulietMcGrattan] or LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-juliet-mcgrattan-540837bb/] About the host Dr Lee David [https://linktr.ee/dr.lee.david] is a GP, CBT therapist and author specialising in mental health and wellbeing. Lee has written many books [https://amzn.to/4o0YKLu] on CBT, mindfulness and teen wellbeing, and speaks regularly at conferences and in the media. Away from work she enjoys running, hiking, singing in a choir and spending time outdoors with her family. You can find Lee through her website [https://thechoicespace.co.uk/] and on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/dr.lee.david/], TikTok [tiktok.com/@dr.lee.david] (@dr.lee.david), Facebook [https://www.facebook.com/people/The-Choice-Space/61581814647861/?sk=about]and LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/in/lee-david-14606818/].  You can find more about her books, wellbeing courses and therapy here:  https://linktr.ee/dr.lee.david [https://linktr.ee/dr.lee.david]

How Stress Becomes Burnout Via The Nervous System

Many people recognise times when it becomes harder to switch off. We may feel constantly under pressure, more emotionally reactive or as though we are just about keeping up. But sometimes ongoing stress can begin to shift into something else – where we feel more exhausted, detached and less able to think clearly or recover. In this episode of The Choice Space, Dr Lee David speaks with Dr Claire Plumbly, clinical psychologist and author, about how stress can sometimes progress into burnout through its impact on the nervous system. The conversation explores the difference between stress and burnout and how burnout may develop when the nervous system stays under pressure for too long. Lee and Claire discuss the green, amber and red states of the nervous system and how understanding these can help make sense of why coping may suddenly feel harder – or why we may feel more disconnected, overwhelmed or shut down. They also reflect on why burnout is often about more than work alone. Caring responsibilities, parenting, menopause, challenging relationships and the pressure to keep going can all add to the load we are carrying. The discussion explores why feeling heard matters when life feels overwhelming, and practical ways to support recovery – including building small pauses and transition points into busy days. This is a thoughtful conversation about stress, burnout and recovery, offering a more compassionate and realistic way to understand why coping can sometimes start to feel harder. Key moments 00:00 The tennis ball machine analogy 02:46 Stress versus burnout 05:47 The tipping point into burnout 08:01 Burnout beyond paid work 10:47 Burnout and the nervous system 16:37 Green, amber and red zones 18:33 Why we need green to think 22:13 Burnout and trauma parallels 27:07 Relationships and nervous system safety 35:08 “Wow, that’s a lot” 40:02 Transition points and reset About the guest Dr Claire Plumbly is a clinical psychologist, author of the Amazon bestseller Burnout: How to Manage Your Nervous System Before It Manages You [http://www.drclaireplumbly.com/burnout-book], and founder of Plum Psychology – a psychology practice for overcoming trauma, burnout, anxiety and low self-esteem. Claire and her team are trauma-trained psychologists offering therapy, workplace workshops and EMDR intensives. She is based online and in Taunton, Somerset.  You can connect with Claire via her website [https://www.linkedin.com/safety/go/?url=www.drclaireplumbly.com&urlhash=UXEM&isSdui=true&lipi=urn%3Ali%3Apage%3Ad_flagship3_profile_view_base_contact_details%3BVGxpGZRURRCXJTy7dxa0AQ%3D%3D], Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/drclaireplumbly/], YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/@drclaireplumbly/featured] and LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/in/drclaireplumbly/]  About the host Dr Lee David [https://linktr.ee/dr.lee.david] is a GP, CBT therapist and author specialising in mental health and wellbeing. Lee has written many books [https://amzn.to/4o0YKLu] on CBT, mindfulness and teen wellbeing, and speaks regularly at conferences and in the media. Away from work she enjoys running, hiking, singing in a choir and spending time outdoors with her family. You can find Lee through her website [https://thechoicespace.co.uk/] and on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/dr.lee.david/], TikTok [tiktok.com/@dr.lee.david] (@dr.lee.david), Facebook [https://www.facebook.com/people/The-Choice-Space/61581814647861/?sk=about]and LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/in/lee-david-14606818/].  You can find more about her books, wellbeing courses and therapy here:  https://linktr.ee/dr.lee.david [https://linktr.ee/dr.lee.david]

Why Trauma Often Goes Unseen

Many people live with patterns of anxiety, stress or physical symptoms without realising that past experiences may still be shaping how they feel today. In this episode of The Choice Space, Dr Lee David speaks with Dr Susanna Petche, GP and founder of Trauma Sense, about why trauma is often missed – and how it can affect both mind and body in ways that are not always obvious. The conversation explores how trauma is frequently minimised or overlooked, both by individuals and within wider systems of care. They discuss how experiences that were never fully acknowledged can continue to influence how safe life feels, how we relate to others, and how we see ourselves. They also reflect on how trauma responses can show up in everyday ways – through anxiety, physical symptoms, or reactions that don’t seem to make sense. This includes the role of the body in holding stress, and how triggers can operate outside of conscious awareness. They explore how trauma can remain unrecognised for many years, sometimes being understood as anxiety, depression or physical health problems. This can make it harder for people to make sense of their experiences, and to find the right kind of support. The discussion highlights the importance of being seen and believed, and how simple, human responses can support healing. They explore the role of self-compassion, curiosity and body-based approaches in helping people begin to make sense of their experiences. This is a thoughtful conversation about recognising trauma, offering a more compassionate and realistic way to understand ourselves and others. Key moments 00:00 Personal experience of trauma 04:16 Why trauma is often missed 05:03 Minimising and dismissing trauma 07:28 Trauma and loss of safety 09:17 Why validation matters 10:12 Trauma, shame and self-blame 17:36 Signs of trauma responses 21:57 Understanding triggers 24:01 The Choice Pause 27:46 Self-compassion and healing 32:05 Starting to make sense of trauma About the guest Dr Susanna Petche is a GP with over 25 years’ experience and the founder of Trauma Sense. Her work focuses on improving understanding of trauma and its wider impact on health. She integrates insights from neuroscience, functional medicine and coaching to support individuals and professionals. Through her teaching, speaking and clinical work, she aims to bring greater awareness to how trauma can be recognised and understood in everyday life. You can contact Susanna via her website [https://www.trauma-sense.com/], Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/drsusannapetche/] and watch her TEDx talk [https://youtu.be/s9Za8CnjSa4?si=MjKGbN7wOBOVfX1i] About the host Dr Lee David [https://linktr.ee/dr.lee.david] is a GP, CBT therapist and author specialising in mental health and wellbeing. Lee has written many books [https://amzn.to/4o0YKLu] on CBT, mindfulness and teen wellbeing, and speaks regularly at conferences and in the media. Away from work she enjoys running, hiking, singing in a choir and spending time outdoors with her family. You can find Lee through her website [https://thechoicespace.co.uk/] and on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/dr.lee.david/], TikTok [tiktok.com/@dr.lee.david] (@dr.lee.david), Facebook [https://www.facebook.com/people/The-Choice-Space/61581814647861/?sk=about]and LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/in/lee-david-14606818/].  You can find more about her books, wellbeing courses and therapy here:  https://linktr.ee/dr.lee.david [https://linktr.ee/dr.lee.david]

Why We Need to Talk About Men’s Mental Health

Many men don’t grow up being shown how to recognise, name or talk about their emotions. So when life becomes challenging, there often isn’t a clear way to make sense of what’s happening or how to respond. In this episode of The Choice Space, Dr Lee David speaks with Chris Hemmings, therapist and founder of Men’s Therapy Hub, about why men’s mental health can be harder to recognise, talk about and support. They explore how men are often socialised to disconnect from emotions, making it harder to understand what’s going on or to ask for help. This can show up through behaviour rather than words – irritability, withdrawal, overworking or isolation – where something feels wrong but is hard to explain. The conversation also reflects on the role of shame, both culturally and internally, and how this can delay men seeking support until things reach crisis point. Alongside this, they discuss how connection, curiosity and compassion – from friends, family and wider society – can begin to shift this. Chris shares practical ways men can start to take small steps, including building awareness through behaviour, opening up gradually and finding spaces where it feels possible to be heard without judgement. This is a thoughtful and grounded conversation about understanding men’s mental health with more compassion, and creating space for earlier support and connection. Key moments 00:00 Feeling alone in struggle 01:37 Chris’s story and coping patterns 04:18 Why men suppress emotions 07:06 Strength vs flexibility 09:33 Crisis before seeking help 12:05 Supporting boys and listening 17:49 Why men come to therapy 23:37 Choice Pause – heavy moments 26:17 Behaviour as a signal 30:28 Reaching out for support About the guest Chris Hemmings is a therapist and coach who specialises in working with men. He’s the founder of Men’s Therapy Hub, a directory of male therapists for male clients. Before training to be a therapist he was a BBC journalist, writing and making documentaries about men, masculinity and mental health. He’s also the founder of M-Path, who go in to schools across the UK speaking to students about what it means to be a man. Connect with Chris via his website [http://www.chrishemmings.co.uk/], and Men’s therapy hub [http://www.menstherapyhub.co.uk/] via Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/menstherapyhub/], YouTube [%20https://www.youtube.com/@MensTherapyHub] and LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/company/menstherapyhub/] No Man's an Island podcast [https://open.spotify.com/show/5QgINHeUZKorBCE4LBoBXF] About the host Dr Lee David [https://linktr.ee/dr.lee.david] is a GP, CBT therapist and author specialising in mental health and wellbeing. Lee has written many books [https://amzn.to/4o0YKLu] on CBT, mindfulness and teen wellbeing, and speaks regularly at conferences and in the media. Away from work she enjoys running, hiking, singing in a choir and spending time outdoors with her family. You can find Lee through her website [https://thechoicespace.co.uk/] and on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/dr.lee.david/], TikTok [tiktok.com/@dr.lee.david] (@dr.lee.david), Facebook [https://www.facebook.com/people/The-Choice-Space/61581814647861/?sk=about]and LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/in/lee-david-14606818/].  You can find more about her books, wellbeing courses and therapy here:  https://linktr.ee/dr.lee.david [https://linktr.ee/dr.lee.david]