Cover image of show The Choose Yourself Channel

The Choose Yourself Channel

Podcast by Hakeem Bourne Mcfarlane

English

Technology & science

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About The Choose Yourself Channel

Hosted by Hakeem Bourne McFarlane, author of Choose Yourself to Be Chosen and founder of the Choose Yourself Community (CYC).Welcome to The Choose Yourself Channel : where personal growth gets real, faith gets practical, and healing comes with humor.This isn't your average self-help talk. It’s the CYC-GYM - where we flex the dorsal cortex, roast our old habits, and build foundations stronger than our excuses through accountability and innercise.We talk discipline, desire, detoxing from dysfunction, and designing a life that actually feels good based on balance ... from cold showers to calling yourself out. One episode might sound like therapy, another like stand-up, and the next like church with better playlists and preachers.Here, we don’t fake peace for followers. We face our triggers, evaluate our environments, and invest in our evolution. Because choosing yourself isn’t just a slogan ... it’s the daily sport of self-respect! 🐬 Expect truth. Expect laughter. Expect to be uncomfortable - in the best way. Join the movement every Tuesday at 10 a.m. with the Choose Yourself Community on zoom to meet other self choosers virtually hosted by Hakeem.This is The Choose Yourself Channel. Raw. Relatable. Real as growth gets.

All episodes

42 episodes

episode 🇮🇪 Caleb McDonnell - From Rugby to Real Estate to Rice Bowls artwork

🇮🇪 Caleb McDonnell - From Rugby to Real Estate to Rice Bowls

You Are What You Consume - Food, Friends, Fear & Foundations Some people consume content all day and still wonder why they feel lost… others get curious, take action, and build an entirely different life from it. In this episode, we sit down with Caleb [https://www.instagram.com/theblackirishrealtor/] — “The Black Irish Realtor” — entrepreneur, food lover, athlete, realtor, and owner of Ideal Nutrition, for a hilarious and eye-opening conversation on identity, nutrition, business, culture, self-belief, and what it means to actually create a life instead of just consuming one. IG - @theblackirishrealtor [https://www.instagram.com/theblackirishrealtor/] From growing up mixed race in Ireland and struggling to fit in, to moving to America on a rugby scholarship with no blueprint, Caleb shares how curiosity, risk-taking, and staying authentic shaped his evolution. We dive into food quality differences between Europe and America, preservatives, health, entrepreneurship, and why most people are overcomplicating success instead of simply taking the next step. Between stories about selling perfume samples at school, working bars, selling cars, real estate, dogs taking over couches, and learning business from old Irish hustlers, this episode blends humor with real perspective on building resilience and multiple streams of income. This conversation is also a reminder that your environment matters. The people you surround yourself with, the food you consume, the content you watch, and the risks you’re willing to take all shape your future. Because choosing yourself isn’t just motivation—it’s learning how to create systems, routines, and opportunities that align with who you’re becoming. Takeaways ⬇️ * Curiosity can become your career if you’re willing to act on it * The food we consume impacts far more than just weight * Your environment either expands your thinking or limits it * Simplicity and consistency beat overcomplication * Taking risks is necessary if you want a different life * Real growth often starts when you leave your comfort zone At some point, we all have to decide… Are we going to keep consuming life passively or start creating something meaningful from what we’ve been given? Your story, your culture, your struggles, and your curiosity might be the exact ingredients needed to build your future. “Keep it simple. Start somewhere. Figure it out as you grow.” 🐬 Grow With Us ⬇️ 🐬 CYC Zoom (Tuesdays 10 a.m.) [https://www.skool.com/choose-yourself-community-1430/about] ❤️‍🩹 Gut Repair Solution [https://hakeemmcfarlane.threeinternational.com/en/enrollment-v2/enrollment-configuration] 🏝️ Annual CYC Retreat [https://www.michelle-peterson.com/october-cyc-sedona.html] 📖 Choose Yourself to Be Chosen [https://a.co/d/3aqQJxw] 🎙️ Choose Yourself Channel

23 May 2026 - 45 min
episode 🧯 Joe Spector - Walking Through the Fire Without Becoming It artwork

🧯 Joe Spector - Walking Through the Fire Without Becoming It

Some people spend their whole life avoiding discomfort… others walk through the fire and learn how to become stronger because of it. In this episode, we sit down with Joe Spector [https://www.instagram.com/thejoespector/]- ex-firefighter, speaker, emotional resilience expert, husband, and father... for one of the deepest conversations yet on trauma, identity, grief, emotional regulation, and what it really means to choose yourself when life completely falls apart. From being a police officer and fire captain to losing his career after a traumatic brain injury, Joe [https://www.instagram.com/thejoespector/]opens up about the spiral that followed: financial stress, grief, loss, emotional shutdown, family tension, and ultimately reaching a breaking point that forced him to finally face himself. This episode dives into the dangerous illusion of “having it all together,” especially for men taught to suppress emotions instead of process them. We break down the parallels between firefighting and life itself - learning how to prepare for adversity, regulate your nervous system under pressure, and stop bleeding unhealed pain onto the people you love most. From breathwork and therapy to parenting, faith, and rebuilding identity after loss, this conversation is packed with wisdom, humor, truth, and practical perspective for anyone navigating hard seasons. Takeaways ⬇️ * You can be successful on the outside and still be suffering internally * Choosing yourself is not selfish, it’s how you become dependable for others * Emotional regulation is a skill set, not a personality trait * Your children don’t just need provision… they need presence * Everything you want in life is on the other side of your comfort zone * Healing starts when you stop avoiding what hurts At some point, life stops asking how productive you are… and starts asking how prepared you are internally when everything changes. Because adversity doesn’t build character out of nowhere, it reveals the foundation that was already there... and sometimes the strongest thing a person can do… is finally ask for help then back it up with acceptance and accountability. CONNECT WITH JOE [https://www.instagram.com/thejoespector/] “You can’t keep bleeding on people who didn’t cut you.” 🐬 Grow With Us ⬇️ 🐬 CYC Zoom (Tuesdays 10 a.m.) [https://www.skool.com/choose-yourself-community-1430/about] ❤️‍🩹 Order THREE GRS [https://hakeemmcfarlane.threeinternational.com/en/enrollment-v2/enrollment-configuration] 🏝️ Annual CYC Retreat [https://www.michelle-peterson.com/october-cyc-sedona.html] 📖 Choose Yourself to Be Chosen [https://a.co/d/3aqQJxw] 🎙️ Choose Yourself Channel

14 May 2026 - 1 h 3 min
episode 🍄 Thanecha - From the Projects to Purpose artwork

🍄 Thanecha - From the Projects to Purpose

Some people think choosing yourself is ego… but it’s actually returning to the version of you that existed before the world started programming you. In this episode, we sit down with Thanecha [https://www.instagram.com/thanecha/] - creator, coach, and community builder whose story started in survival mode: homelessness, instability, and navigating life without a clear foundation... but what makes this conversation powerful isn’t just where she came from… it’s how she chose to rewrite what was possible. From overcoming a poverty mindset to stepping into creativity through music, fitness, and community, this episode breaks down what it really means to stay curious, stay open, and build your identity through experience instead of expectation. We dive into spirituality, inner child healing, relationships, and the power of setting boundaries because growth isn’t just about doing more… it’s about becoming someone who no longer tolerates what once held them back. Takeaways ⬇️ * Your environment may shape you, but it doesn’t have to limit you * Staying curious is one of the most powerful tools for growth * You don’t need to know the full path—you need to take the next step * Boundaries are a sign of self-respect, not selfishness * Healing your inner child isn’t weakness—it’s responsibility At some point, we all reach a moment where we have to decide… Are we going to keep living from survival patterns or start creating from self-awareness? You’re not just your story… you’re what you choose to do with it. “You don’t need permission to become who you already are.” Grow With Us ⬇️ 🐬 CYC Zoom (Tuesdays 10 a.m.) [https://www.skool.com/choose-yourself-community-1430/about] ❤️‍🩹 Gut Repair Solution [https://hakeemmcfarlane.threeinternational.com/en/enrollment-v2/enrollment-configuration] 🏝️ CYC annual Retreat (Sedona, AZ) [https://www.michelle-peterson.com/october-cyc-sedona.html] 📖 Choose Yourself to Be Chosen [https://a.co/d/3aqQJxw] 🎙️ Choose Yourself Channel

2 May 2026 - 1 h 1 min
episode 🐬 Amrita Singh - You Can Love Your Culture and Still Outgrow It artwork

🐬 Amrita Singh - You Can Love Your Culture and Still Outgrow It

Everybody wants to break generational patterns but not everybody is willing to admit they’re still a part of them. In this episode, we sit down with Amrita [https://www.instagram.com/mia4life122/], founder of Body by Mia and a powerful self-chooser from the CYC, who shares her journey of growing up between cultures, battling identity, body image, and expectations—and ultimately choosing herself. From being told who she had to be… to realizing she didn’t even know who she was… this conversation dives into what it really takes to break free from conditioning, face your triggers, and build a life aligned with your truth. From emotional eating to extreme self-restriction, from seeking validation to driving across the country alone.. Amrita shows what it looks like to stop performing and start becoming. But the real power is that she didn’t do it alone. Through the Choose Yourself Community (CYC), [https://www.skool.com/choose-yourself-community-1430/about] she found accountability, support, and a space where growth is expected not optional. A community where being triggered isn’t an attack… it’s an invitation to evolve. Takeaways ⬇️ * You can’t break chains until you recognize what you’re connected to * Your environment may shape you but it doesn’t have to define you * Healing isn’t just physical: it’s mental, emotional, and spiritual * The courage to leave comes from having a plan and executing it * Community creates belief when your self-belief is still catching up At some point, you have to stop asking: “Who do they want me to be?” …and start deciding… “Who am I choosing to become?” Choosing yourself isn’t selfish, it’s how you become the example for everyone watching. “You don’t lose yourself overnight… you lose yourself in patterns... and you find yourself the same way.” Grow With Us ⬇️ 🐬 CYC Zoom (Tuesdays 10 a.m.) ❤️‍🩹 Gut Repair Solution 🏝️ Annual CYC Retreat 📖 Choose Yourself to Be Chosen 🎙️ Choose Yourself Channel

23 Apr 2026 - 34 min
episode ☕️ Angel - Create First. Doubt Never. artwork

☕️ Angel - Create First. Doubt Never.

Some people wait for the perfect moment… others start building with whatever they have. In this episode, we sit down with Angel, owner of Benton Brew Coffee House, a creator, entrepreneur, and visionary who turned a 20-year dream into a real space for connection, creativity, and community. This conversation dives into what it actually looks like to choose yourself while still working a 9–5, balancing responsibilities, and investing into your vision daily. From selling magazines as a kid to creating studios, coffee lounges, and creative spaces, Angel shows that success isn’t about one big moment.. it’s about stacking checkpoints, discipline, and belief over time. We talk about the importance of routine, presence, and awareness, from something as simple as drinking water in the morning to being intentional with your time, your energy, and even how you eat because building your dream isn’t just about business… it’s about becoming someone who can sustain it. Takeaways ⬇️ * Your dream doesn’t require you to quit everything, it requires you to use what you have wisely * There isn’t always one “trigger point” ..growth is built through consistent checkpoints * Presence is power! Whether in your work, your meals, or your relationships * Your foundation (routines, discipline, awareness) determines your future * You don’t need to know how you’ll get there but you must believe where you’re going At some point, you have to decide… Are you going to keep consuming life or start creating something from it? Your dream isn’t waiting on time… it’s waiting on you.

6 Apr 2026 - 28 min
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