EP36: Nikki Sherman: Don't Die Overseas

EP36: Nikki Sherman: Don't Die Overseas

When your spouse dies abroad, nobody warns you that the paperwork battle might outlast the worst of the grief.   Nikki Sherman was living in the UK with her husband Scott and their daughter when Scott died suddenly at 52 from a pulmonary embolism. Settling an estate after a spouse dies is hard enough. Doing it across two countries, during a pandemic, while raising a teenager, is another thing entirely.   On The Currency of Grief, host Justin Weidenfeld talks with Nikki about the side of widowhood that nobody prepares you for. Not the sadness, but the bureaucracy. The phone calls where you tell the same story over and over. The financial institutions with different requirements. The Medallion Signature Guarantee rabbit hole that took years to resolve. The guilt of not being able to work, while quietly being relieved you didn't have to.   Nikki's experience with death overseas and probate in two countries lasted nearly three years. What got her through it was life insurance that paid out immediately, joint accounts that transferred without a fight, and a will that was recognized on both sides of the Atlantic.   Her story is one of grief and growth in equal measure. She stayed in the UK, raised her daughter through it, built a new life, and came out the other side with hard-won clarity about what it really takes when a spouse dies abroad and leaves you holding everything.   Episode Breakdown: 00:00 When a Spouse Dies Abroad: Nikki Sherman's Story 04:01 Scott Sherman: Life, Love, and 20 Years in the UK 09:31 What Is a Pulmonary Embolism and Why It's So Deadly 13:51 Making Decisions While Drowning in Grief 14:17 Funeral Planning Overseas and Celebrating a Life Well Lived 23:27 Traveling With Human Remains on an Airplane 25:46 Settling an Estate After Spouse Dies: The Financial Reality 27:45 UK vs. US Assets and How Joint Accounts Saved the Day 31:34 Why Having a Will Across Two Countries Matters 36:09 Life Insurance After Spouse Dies: The Emotional and Financial Truth 37:17 When Grief Makes It Impossible to Go Back to Work 41:37 Life Insurance as a Financial Lifeline for Widows 46:53 Probate in Two Countries: UK First, Then the US 47:23 The Medallion Signature Guarantee Nightmare for Expats 53:19 What Nikki Wishes She Had Done Differently 55:36 How This Experience Changed Her Relationship With Money 58:11 Honoring Scott's Legacy and Finding Life After Loss Links: Visit the Widowed and Young website [https://www.widowedandyoung.org.uk/] Apply to the Experience Camps programs [https://experiencecamps.org/our-programs/adult-retreat]   Connect with Justin Weidenfeld: Connect with Justin on LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/in/justin-weidenfeld/] Follow The Currency of Grief on LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/company/the-currency-of-grief-podcast/]  Follow The Currency of Grief on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/thecurrencyofgrief_podcast]  Follow The Currency of Grief on TikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/@thecurrencyofgrief]  Subscribe to The Currency of Grief on YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/@TheCurrencyofGrief] Visit Justin’s website bio [https://www.ironbridgewc.com/team/justin-weidenfeld] Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm [http://hivecast.fm]

EP35: Emily Bouchard: The Slinky of Grief & the Purpose of Wealth

Losing a parent at 14 does not just change your childhood. It changes every version of you that comes after.   On The Currency of Grief, host Justin Weidenfeld sits down with Emily Bouchard, family dynamics expert, TEDx speaker, and host of the Wealth Coherence podcast. Emily was 14 when her mother died suddenly at 44 from a brain aneurysm. What followed was decades of grief that kept showing up, in new relationships, in major decisions, and in a single year that changed everything.   That year was the death year. The age Emily turned 44, the same age her mother was when she died. She did not see it coming, but her body did. It stopped her, reoriented her, and ultimately freed her to live by her values in a way she never had before.   Emily also shares her concept of “the slinky of grief”, and why loss does not arrive once and leave. It comes back around, hitting you at different points across your life, sometimes when you least expect it.   The conversation turns to families and the weight of what goes unsaid. What does it cost when parents and children never talk about the purpose of our wealth, about wishes, values, and what they want their legacy to mean? Emily has seen those costs up close, and she knows how to help families start talking before it is too late.   She leaves with two words that have carried her through it all. Grace and gratitude. Not as platitudes, but as a real practice.   If any of this feels familiar, this episode is for you.   Find Emily at emilybouchard.com or trustmoneyfamilies.com [http://trustmoneyfamilies.com]    Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Meet Emily Bouchard: Family Dynamics Expert and TEDx Speaker 04:28 Losing Her Mother at 14: Emily's Story of Grief 09:50 Who Was Joan: Remembering a Mother's Kindness and Legacy 13:11 Finding Support After Loss: The Grief Cliff and Who Shows Up 16:14 Family Dynamics After Sudden Loss: Remarriage and Rebuilding 19:13 The Slinky of Grief: How Loss Resurfaces at Every Life Stage 23:00 The Death Year: What Happens When You Reach the Age Your Parent Died 29:26 No Plan, No Will, No Conversation: What Happened After the Funeral 33:32 How Families Fight Over Belongings and How to Prevent It 40:27 The Cost of Silence: Why Families Avoid Talking About Inheritance 46:52 Legacy Versus Estate Plans: Knowing What to Do With What You Inherit 49:15 How to Start Inheritance Conversations Without Talking About Numbers 57:35 Aligning Values and Purpose Before Making Estate Decisions 58:22 How Loss Changed Emily's Approach to Planning and Giving 1:02:50 Grace and Gratitude: Words of Wisdom for Anyone Carrying Grief Connect with Emily Bouchard Visit Emily's website [https://emilybouchard.com/] Get a copy of The Little Book of Trust and Money [https://trustmoneyfamilies.com/] Listen to The Wealth Coherence Podcast [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/wealth-coherence/id1816546888] Watch Emily's TEDx talk about inheritance [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tgtReUS15l8] Visit the Enlightened Philanthropy website [https://www.enlightenedphilanthropy.com/]   Connect with Justin Weidenfeld: Connect with Justin on LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/in/justin-weidenfeld/] Follow The Currency of Grief on LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/company/the-currency-of-grief-podcast/]  Follow The Currency of Grief on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/thecurrencyofgrief_podcast]  Follow The Currency of Grief on TikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/@thecurrencyofgrief]  Subscribe to The Currency of Grief on YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/@TheCurrencyofGrief] Visit Justin’s website bio [https://www.ironbridgewc.com/team/justin-weidenfeld] Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm [http://hivecast.fm]

EP34: Vincent Valeri: Overcoming a Culture of Silence

He was trying to be present for his father’s final weeks while carrying the legal and financial responsibility of what would come next.   That's the reality Vincent Valeri faced in the winter of 2022, and on this episode of The Currency of Grief, host Justin Weidenfeld gives him the space to tell it honestly. When Vincent's father Vincenzo was diagnosed with stage four bile duct cancer in December of that year and given six to eight weeks to live, Vincent had to hold two roles at once. He was the grieving son and the person legally responsible for closing out a complex, imperfectly planned estate.   Executor responsibilities after death don't wait for grief to pass. Vincent learned that quickly. In the weeks that followed, he was simultaneously updating beneficiaries, getting the matrimonial home properly titled, meeting with accountants about holding companies and crossing fiscal years, and making legal decisions on a timeline no one plans for. By the time his father passed in February 2023, Vincent was facing multiple tax filings and what became a 26-month probate process.   What makes this conversation so valuable is Vincent's candor about grief and estate planning from the inside. He talks about the invisible wall of cultural respect that made hard family conversations about death nearly impossible, the loneliness of being an executor, and the painful gap between what he knew professionally and what his father had actually put in place.   The practical lessons here are real. Update beneficiary designations. Get both names on accounts before it's too late. Know what a bank will and won't let you do when someone can't come in to sign. Understand that executor responsibilities after death include decisions you'll be making without the person who should have made them.   Vincent closes with something simple and true: It's going to be okay. Not as a platitude, but as something he had to find his way back to.   Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Welcome to The Currency of Grief with Vincent Valeri 03:30 Vincenzo Valeri: An Italian Immigrant Who Built a Life in Canada 06:25 Getting a Terminal Diagnosis and Knowing the Estate Wasn't Ready 10:21 How Italian and Canadian Culture Shapes Family Conversations About Death 20:34 Executor Responsibilities After Death: What No One Tells You 30:16 The First Financial Steps to Take After a Terminal Diagnosis 34:36 Holding Companies, Blended Families, and Complex Estate Situations 47:15 When Siblings Have Unequal Information About the Estate 58:12 Why Family Meetings Are the Foundation of Good Legacy Planning 1:09:33 Words of Wisdom for Anyone Facing a Parent's Terminal Illness Connect with Vincent Valeri: Visit the Valeri Associates website [https://www.valeriassociates.com/about] Connect with Vincent on LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/in/vincentvaleri/]   Connect with Justin Weidenfeld: Connect with Justin on LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/in/justin-weidenfeld/] Follow The Currency of Grief on LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/company/the-currency-of-grief-podcast/]  Follow The Currency of Grief on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/thecurrencyofgrief_podcast]  Follow The Currency of Grief on TikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/@thecurrencyofgrief]  Subscribe to The Currency of Grief on YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/@TheCurrencyofGrief] Visit Justin’s website bio [https://www.ironbridgewc.com/team/justin-weidenfeld] Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm [http://hivecast.fm]

EP33: Richard Wood: "He’s Only Gone Physically," Honoring Spencer’s Legacy of Kindness

Grief after losing a child doesn't follow a script, and no one knows that better than Richard Wood.   Nearly 20 years ago, Richard's 22-year-old son Spencer died in a sudden unexpected loss that changed everything. There was no warning, no goodbye, and no roadmap for what came next. In this episode of The Currency of Grief, host Justin Weidenfeld sits down with Richard to talk about how a father carries that kind of loss forward, through marriage, through raising daughters, and into a season of life where seven grandchildren now grow up hearing Spencer stories.   Richard is a father who held his family together while quietly falling apart. His wife grieved through anger. Each of his daughters found their own painful path. Richard himself never went a single day without telling someone a Spencer story. He didn't move through the stages of grief in any tidy order, and he's honest about why that is. Grief after losing a child is shaped by the relationship you had, and no two relationships are the same.   The conversation gets into what people get wrong when supporting someone who is grieving. Richard has heard every well-meaning platitude and he handles them with patience. His advice is straightforward. Show up. Say you're sorry. Then stop talking and listen. Not just in the first week, but for months afterward when everyone else has moved on and the person grieving is left alone with it.   Faith played a quiet but significant role in Richard's journey. He didn't expect to find it the way he did, but losing Spencer revealed a depth of belief he hadn't known was there. It didn't erase the pain. It gave him somewhere to put it.   A fraternity brother once said that Spencer was not just someone people knew. He was someone who changed the way life felt when he was around. That comment became the foundation for something Richard has kept alive for two decades. Every year at Cal Poly, a student is anonymously nominated by peers for how they live and how they treat others. They never apply for it. They simply get chosen because of their kindness. Richard has watched that scholarship outlive an entire generation of Spencer's college friends because it stopped being about Spencer specifically and became about everything he represented.   This episode is for anyone who has experienced losing a son, a daughter, or any person they weren't ready to live without.   Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Welcome to The Currency of Grief 02:22 Richard Wood's Story and Why He Shares It 06:40 Who Spencer Was and the Family He Left Behind 08:59 Grief After Losing a Child and Why Time Does Not Heal 16:23 How Every Family Member Grieves Differently 19:05 What Not to Say to Someone Who Is Grieving 22:28 The Grief Cliff and What Happens When Support Disappears 23:32 The Lifestyle Scholarship and Honoring Spencer's Memory 42:14 Financial and Practical Advice for the First Year of Grief 47:28 Faith, Hope, and Love as Pillars of the Grief Journey Connect with Richard Wood: Visit The Compassionate Friends Org Website [https://www.compassionatefriends.org/?gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=28680640&gbraid=0AAAAAD40kqDlWt40dhr2qt4WmrUPp18B0&gclid=CjwKCAjwqazPBhALEiwAOuXqdMPmtV-Ayd2ZWAkaDerJdr3_RSJXL3H3ShI8Q1PXP8NL2icZpDrFCxoCnjIQAvD_BwE]   Connect with Justin Weidenfeld: Connect with Justin on LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/in/justin-weidenfeld/] Follow The Currency of Grief on LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/company/the-currency-of-grief-podcast/]  Follow The Currency of Grief on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/thecurrencyofgrief_podcast]  Follow The Currency of Grief on TikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/@thecurrencyofgrief]  Subscribe to The Currency of Grief on YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/@TheCurrencyofGrief] Visit Justin’s website bio [https://www.ironbridgewc.com/team/justin-weidenfeld] Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm [http://hivecast.fm]

EP32: Davis Wilkinson: The Brother He Lost and the System He Rebuilt, Heirloom

Estate settlement after death is one of the most overlooked burdens grieving families face, and on this episode of The Currency of Grief, host Justin Weidenfeld sits down with Davis Wilkinson, CEO and founder of Heirloom, to talk about why that burden exists and what it actually costs families to carry it alone.   Davis's story starts with sibling loss and grief. His older brother Adam died of a methadone overdose in 2009, when Davis was just 14. He spent the next decade in emotional repression, not out of indifference but out of sheer incapacity. It wasn't until his mid-twenties, after leaving the Mormon church and losing the theological certainty that he'd see Adam again, that the grief finally caught up with him. What followed was years of intensive therapy and a hard-won understanding of what it means to grieve on your own timeline.   The conversation moves naturally into grief and money when Davis describes watching his mother navigate the estate administration process after Adam's passing. That experience became the foundation for Heirloom, a platform designed to support executors through one of the most logistically overwhelming roles a person can be asked to fill while also managing loss.   Davis talks about asset discovery, the staggering volume of unclaimed assets in the United States, and the systemic gaps that leave families without clear guidance at the worst possible time. Right now, there are no enforced standards for how banks treat executors during estate settlement after death, and he makes a clear case that this gap is costing grieving families more than just time.   This episode is for anyone who has ever wondered why handling a loved one's affairs feels so impossible, and for anyone who needs to know they are not alone in finding it that way.   Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Introduction to The Currency of Grief 02:02 Davis Wilkinson and the Story Behind Heirloom 03:45 Sibling Loss Grief: Losing a Brother to Drug Overdose 09:54 Childhood Grief and Emotional Repression 17:29 Finding Support and Coping After Loss 19:55 Leaving the Mormon Church and Facing Grief for the First Time 21:57 Estate Settlement After Death: What Davis's Mother Faced 45:04 How to Fix the Estate Administration System 49:16 Unclaimed Assets and What Families Are Missing 51:44 What Executors Need and How Heirloom Helps 55:50 How Loss Changes Your Approach to Life and Planning 58:35 Words of Wisdom for Anyone Navigating Grief Connect with Davis Wilkinson: Visit the Heirloom website [https://www.heirloom.care/] Connect with Davis on LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/in/davis-wilkinson-38988a73/]   Connect with Justin Weidenfeld: Connect with Justin on LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/in/justin-weidenfeld/] Follow The Currency of Grief on LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/company/the-currency-of-grief-podcast/]  Follow The Currency of Grief on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/thecurrencyofgrief_podcast]  Follow The Currency of Grief on TikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/@thecurrencyofgrief]  Subscribe to The Currency of Grief on YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/@TheCurrencyofGrief] Visit Justin’s website bio [https://www.ironbridgewc.com/team/justin-weidenfeld] Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm [http://hivecast.fm]