BONE OF MY BONES

BONE OF MY BONES

A number of years ago my wife and I celebrated our 32nd wedding anniversary on the sameday that a famous political couple announced their separation after forty yearsof marriage. I recall thinking that even after many decades of marriage, youneed to nourish your relationship continually!  Even this past month I know of three couples who have been married for many years, who have decidedto call it quits.  For that reason, I have found that continuing to flame the embers of a marriage is critical.  On our 32nd anniversary (we have now been married for over forty-six years), we went away for two days. We had ablast! I recall when we checked out of our hotel, my wife looked at me and said she had a great time just being together for a couple of days. What wasinteresting was what she said to me next.  “We really didn’t do anything, not even shop that much. Yet I had so much fun!” It was true, we had spent most of the time driving around Pennsylvania looking for a hotel. They were allbooked within an hour of where we were planning on staying. I learned that a short getaway with my wife should first include a hotel reservation. Although I must say that part of the weekend fun was just looking for a place to stay.Because I found out that just driving around with the girl you love can have greater rewards than an expensive dinner, movie or other fancy plans. Sometimes the gift of spending time together can bring forth greater fruits than anythingelse. Together, we have tried to follow the admonition of Paul, “Wehope all things, we have endured many things, and hope to be able to endure allthings” (2 Corinthians 1) When you spend a lifetime with someone, you either endup like this political couple,  growing apart and divorcing, or you draw closer with the trials.  To have a successful marriage, you shouldlearn not to blame; it does no good. You should learn to forgive, because you need forgiveness. You should learn to focus on the good in your mate, because there is plenty there; and also to turn a blind eye to their faults because youhave them too!  Sadly, so many marriages are shattered because ofselfishness. All I can say, is thank goodness my wife has nevergiven up on me even though I have been guilty at times of having the TV up too loud, the house at 68 degrees, or calling her name too much. I have been foundlacking in the wardrobe department,  or not understanding all her moods. Yet, it has been a great partnership and will continue to be so; so long as we both keep our sights fixed on the larger goal of wanting an eternal marriage and a forever family! The other day as we are driving along and discussing our lives,she spontaneously reached across and laid her hand on top of mine.  As Iglanced down, for a moment, it seemed as though her hand melted into mine. Shehas truly become “bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh.”  (Genesis2:23)

HOPE WITHOUT ACTION IS A RECIPE FOR FAILURE

To hope for something while not moving towards it is to aspire to failure. Most of us have hope for many good things in this life and for the eternities.  But hope alone will not make these things come to pass. I believe that is why ourhopes are so often dashed. We must move towards it, make it a reality, and not be passive.  Who among us believes that the hope to become a concert pianist will become a reality if we don’t put in the time to practice to become one? Can we realistically become a professional at anything by hoping thatsomehow it will just happen! If I had just “hoped” to marry my wife without ever asking her out, would that have become a reality? It is beautiful to hope, but our hope needs to compel us toaction! Hope without action is a recipe for failure! I once knew a man who hadgreat hopes for his life. But the thought of losing that hope, which he sodearly held onto, caused him not to pursue it, lest he lose it and despairreplace it.  But despair will often win when we passively wait for hope toarrive.   Paul wrote to the Corinthians: “…For our sakes, no doubt, this is written: that he thatploweth should plow in hope; and that he that thresheth in hope should bepartaker of his hope.” Paul understood that to be partakers of hope, we must plow andthresh toward it. Let us have high hopes for our lives! But more importantly,let not the fear of losing it stop us from plowing and threshing toward it.Paul also taught that hope can be augmented through the power of the Holy Ghost(Romans 15:13). By relying on the Holy Ghost for strength, we can overcome thefear that sometimes paralyzes us from pursuing and capturing Hope. Let us actively pursue Hope so that our dreams of life and ofeternities will not just be a ‘Hope’ but a reality.

WHEN RAINBOWS DISAPPEAR INTO DARK CLOUDS

“Somewhereover the rainbow, skies are blue”, so sang Judy Garland. I thought of thatquote just the other day as my wife and I were driving around town and wespotted a giant rainbow in the sky.,,But I notedsomething else about that rainbow. It disappeared into dark clouds. Hence, mythoughts of Judy Garland’s famous song, “Somewhere over the Rainbow.” So whathappens when our rainbows disappear into clouds, making it impossible to see“blue skies”? How do we keep the vision of the “blue skies” promised on theother side of the rainbow in our hearts? My wife and I have noted...when we pull into a fast food place where large groups of teenagers hang out,how they seem to be laughing and smiling all the time. They seem to have nocares in the world, and most often they don’t. I recall once when I was asenior in high school one of my relatives said to me, “Enjoy life now, becauseit goes straight downhill from here.” I remember thinking, “Really! What apessimist!” I couldn’t imagine anything but “blue skies” ahead for my life.Last year I met with an old high school friend. He seemed happy but had gonethrough a messy divorce, had a brush with cancer leaving him with somepermanent symptoms, and lost both of his parents to age. As we sat and talked,my mind wandered back to our youth when he and I often double dated; he with mysister, and me with another girl. My sister suddenly lost her husband a fewyears ago at a relatively young age, while the girl I went out with has beenstricken with a debilitating life long disease. I too have had my fair share ofbumps and bruises along the way. The rainbow of our youth has seemed to have“disappeared into the clouds”. And frankly, if you don’t believe there are“blue skies” on the other side of the rainbow, it could be pretty depressing!But I believe in the promises of the Lord recorded in the scriptures.Referencing the rainbow, God said: “This is the token of the covenant which I make between me andyou… for perpetual generations: I do set my bow in the cloud, and it shall befor a token of a covenant between me and the earth. And it shall come to pass,when I bring a cloud over the earth, that the bow shall be seen in the cloud…and I will look upon it, that I may remember the everlasting covenant betweenGod and every living creature… And God said… This is the token of the covenant,which I have established between me and all flesh…” Our Heavenly Father loves each one of us. He has set the “bow”in the sky as a reminder to us that he will not forget us, even if we forgetHim. He has made an “everlasting” covenant with us that there are “blue skies”on the other side of the clouds. Life can be challenging and discouraging attimes but only if our vision stops at the intersection of the bow and thecloud....We fall prey to the adversary and allow thoughts of hopelessnessand despair to enter our hearts and minds. I like to remember another “Blue Skies” song. Written by IrvingBerlin in 1926, it has been recorded and sung many times. I like the way WillieNelson sings it. I guess because Willie can’t sing it any better than I can.“Skies are gray”, the song begins, but then the singer changes his outlookbecause, “good-luck came a knocking” and then “blue skies shining on me,nothing but blue skies” is all he sees. Well, “good-luck came a knocking” for mankind through the birth,death, and resurrection of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. By having faith inHim who is the keeper of covenants, we can be assured that “blue skies” arewhat await the followers of Him who created us. I believe that when rainbowsdisappear into clouds, they do come out on the other side into blue skies. Ihold tight to the covenants that the Lord has made with his children. I havehope that all the promises will come to those who are the faithful followers ofthe Savior. A rainbow should remind us of that, each time it gracefully archesacross the skies.

"STAND UP, YOUR FATHER'S PASSIN!"

He is a young man, just turned 15, whose mother was a drug addict, and whose father hasbeen serving time in the local penitentiary since his birth. As a baby, he waslooked after by his grandmother, then moved from foster home to foster hometill a couple adopted him.  However, this couple could not hold theirmarriage and family together, so he now resides with yet another couple. Over the course of the year, I have asked him about his family. I can’tkeep track of who is his blood brother, half-brother, adopted brother, or justa brother of another boy who is living in his home. I spent some time talkingto him. Somehow, the conversation ended up being about families. He told me henever wants children. I told him he would probably change his mind as he gotolder. He looked at me and said emphatically, “No, I won’t. I would be aterrible father. I don’t want my kids growing up without me in their lives.They will hate me because I won’t be able to take care of them. I don’t wantthem to have the feelings I have towards my father. He was in prison when I wasborn. I don’t even know who he is!” I don’t think I have heard such pessimistictalk regarding fatherhood from such a young man. It was sad to hear him talkthat way, yet his life experience had taught him to have such a negativeoutlook on fatherhood. Unfortunately, this young man’s negative experience is nowbecoming the norm. Today, close to fifty percent of U.S. babies are born out ofwedlock. Many single women are choosing to rear their children alone. Iremember when I was a child, I only remember one friend who came from what theytermed “a broken home.” The consequences of the “me” generation are now comingfull swing. Marriage and, particularly, the role of the father, have beenmarginalized, leaving behind the broken lives of those who have listened to theSiren calls of the world. In contrast, we have been taught the sanctity of marriage andthe family unit. I was reminded of better times, when the role of the fatherwas respected, when, while searching for something on TV, I came across themovie, “To Kill A Mockingbird.”  There has always been one scene in thismovie that has stuck with me. Atticus Finch, (Gregory Peck), has justrepresented a black man, unjustly accused of rape. Although it is clear thatthe black man is innocent, he is convicted. The lower level of the courtroom,full of white people, files out after the verdict is read. Satisfied! AsAtticus Finch gathers his papers together, the black people stand up silentlyand stay in the gallery till he walks out of the courthouse. Atticus’s daughteris among them and is squatting down on the floor watching her father. As heleaves, an older black man says to her, ” Miss Jean Louise. Miss Jean Louise,stand up. Your father’s passin’.” The daughter rises as her father walks out ofthe courtroom. Every time I see that scene I am grateful to have had a fatherthat gained my respect and admiration so that “I stood up” when he was passing.It is sad to see the role of fathers be so minimized, leading to the pessimismdemonstrated by this young man, of whom I have spoken. To resolve most ofsociety’s problems, we need to look no further than the strengthening of thefamily. May we honor the role of father and of mother! May we keep ourmarriages strong, love one another,  and be patient with one another’sfaults. As we honor each other in our godly roles, we will be teaching ourchildren to do the same, and they will desire to have stable homes of their own.

A LESSON ABOUT HEAVEN AND HELL FROM THE TWILIGHT ZONE

As I grew up in the 1960’s and 70’s the emergence of television, with its powerful mediumof communication, was just starting to exercise its influence on the culture of our country.  One show from my childhood that I vividly remember was“The Twilight Zone.”  You wouldn’t think that a TV show couldhave spiritual undertones, but several episodes that stayed in my mind are those that later tied into gospel themes. One such episode told the story of a petty thief who had lived alife of crime. The opening scene showed him robbing someone and then being shotas he tried to escape. He then died in the street. The next scene showed him inthe afterlife as a “guardian angel” attended to his every need. The thief wasso excited because everything he did in his new life turned out wonderful.It showed him gambling on the tables. He won every time. He bet on the horses;every horse he bet on won. He played pool, took one shot and every ball wentinto the pockets. At the request of his “angel” he asked for and receivedbeautiful women on his arms. He was given everything he wanted to eat. Thethief couldn’t understand how he could end up in such a great place. Hequestioned the angel about it seeing as he didn’t recall doing anythinggood in his life.  The angel took out a file on him, kind of like“The Book of Life” mentioned in the scriptures.  Everything the angel readwas negative.  His “book of life”  was full of the bad things that hehad done. The thief scratched his head and wondered how he had ended up inheaven. But, he didn’t care. He just smiled and went on living the “high life”,but after a while this new life became boring and irritating tothe thief.  His temper started to rise and he became angry at the“guardian angel”. He complained in an angry voice to the angel: “It isn’t fun to win every time at everything; nor to haveanything I want at my whim”. He then continued: “I think a mistake has been made. I don’t know how I endedup in such a great place. I don’t much like it here.  I think I should bein the other place. You know where I mean!”  The angel gave him adevious look and said: “I don’t think you understand. You ARE in that place!”It was then revealed that the “supposed” angel was really the devil. Theepisode ended with the resounding laugh of the devil in the background as thecamera panned to the horrified look on the face of the thief. “For it must needs be, that there is an opposition in allthings. If not so… righteousness could not be brought to pass, neitherwickedness, neither holiness nor misery, neither good nor bad. Wherefore, allthings must needs be a compound in one; wherefore, if it should be one body itmust needs remain as dead, having no life neither death, nor corruption norincorruption, happiness nor misery, neither sense nor insensibility…And tobring about his eternal purposes in the end of man, after he had created ourfirst parents… it must needs be that there was an opposition; even theforbidden fruit in opposition to the tree of life; the one being sweet and theother bitter. (2 Nephi 2:11, 15). And so, when the rains descend upon us or during thestormy times of life, remember, opposition is needed and is eternal.Without it, we could not know the good as there would be no evil. Like thethief from “The Twilight Zone” episode, we would soon tire of the sunshinebecause we wouldn’t know that rain existed!