Dear Future Self: The Exercise That Will Change How You Navigate Divorce

Dear Future Self: The Exercise That Will Change How You Navigate Divorce

Here's something nobody tells you about divorce: the entire process is designed to pull you backward. Every negotiation is about what happened—who earned what, who did what wrong. You spend months, sometimes years, staring into the rearview mirror. And then suddenly it's over, and you're standing in a life you don't recognize, because you were so consumed by the past that you never stopped to build toward a future. Here's what I learned during my own divorce: you can't build a future by only looking at the past. So I did something that changed everything. I wrote a letter to myself from my future self. And then, with every decision I faced in the divorce process, I asked one question: does this get me closer to that future? That single shift—from looking backward to looking forward—kept me on track, helped me make smarter choices, and let me feel hopeful about my life on the other side. In this episode, I'll walk you through how to write your own letter from your future self and use it as your compass through divorce. It's the same practice I shared on the Divorce and Beyond podcast, where it became their most downloaded episode of the year. Whether you're contemplating divorce, deep in negotiations, or just tired of making decisions from a place of anger and fear, this episode will help you stop reacting and start building something specific, hopeful, and yours. Want more resources? Check out my blog [https://www.thedivorceplanner.net/blog], grab my free "24 Questions to Ask A Divorce Attorney [https://www.thedivorceplanner.net/24-questions-to-ask-a-divorce-attorney]" guide, or sign up for my free 4-Email Divorce Prep Series [https://www.thedivorceplanner.net/divorce-prep-series] for a step-by-step roadmap before you meet with an attorney.  Need personalized help? Book a free 15-minute call [https://calendly.com/alex-thedivorceplanner/free-15-minute-strategy-call?back=1] or subscribe to my newsletter [https://www.thedivorceplanner.net/newsletter-submission-form] for weekly tips. The Divorce Planner podcast is for educational purposes only and does not constitute legal or financial advice. Consult qualified professionals about your situation. Podcast Original Music, Editing, and Mixing by: Benjamin Robinson [https://www.beneditsmusic.com/]

Hidden Assets in Divorce: How to Find Hidden Money with Forensic Accountant Jennica Moore

If you suspect your spouse might be hiding money during divorce—or you're in a situation where they control all the finances—this episode is exactly what you need. In today's episode, I'm sitting down with Jennica Moore [https://www.frazierdeeter.com/insights/news/forensics-litigation-support-practice-strategic-addition-jennica-mo/], a forensic accountant with over 10 years of specialized experience in fraud examination and family law matters, for a crucial conversation about finding hidden assets and protecting your financial future during divorce. Jennica brings expert insight into the most common ways people hide money, the red flags to watch for, and what you can actually do to uncover hidden assets—even if you don't control the finances in your marriage. What we cover: * What a forensic accountant does during divorce and how they differ from regular accountants * When to bring in a forensic accountant and whether your suspicions justify the cost * Most common ways people hide money including cryptocurrency, offshore accounts, cash businesses, and underreported income * Red flags to watch for before you even hire an expert * What to do if your spouse controls all the finances and how to access information safely in a controlling situation * What's actually traceable and the limits of forensic investigation * Biggest financial mistakes people make once they know divorce is coming * Legal consequences of hiding assets and how it impacts the divorce settlement * First steps to take if you suspect hidden money but don't have proof * Cost vs. benefit of forensic investigation and what you might uncover Whether you're dealing with a business owner spouse, suspect hidden accounts, or just have a gut feeling something isn't right with the finances, this conversation provides expert guidance to help you protect your financial interests during divorce. Want more resources? Check out my blog [https://www.thedivorceplanner.net/blog], grab my free "24 Questions to Ask A Divorce Attorney [https://www.thedivorceplanner.net/24-questions-to-ask-a-divorce-attorney]" guide, or sign up for my free 4-Email Divorce Prep Series [https://www.thedivorceplanner.net/divorce-prep-series] for a step-by-step roadmap before you meet with an attorney.  Need personalized help? Book a free 15-minute call [https://calendly.com/alex-thedivorceplanner/free-15-minute-strategy-call?back=1] or subscribe to my newsletter [https://www.thedivorceplanner.net/newsletter-submission-form] for weekly tips. The Divorce Planner podcast is for educational purposes only and does not constitute legal or financial advice. Consult qualified professionals about your situation. Podcast Original Music, Editing, and Mixing by: Benjamin Robinson [https://www.beneditsmusic.com/]

The 5-5-5 Rule: Your Divorce Decision-Making Framework

If you're stuck in decision paralysis, overwhelmed by every choice you need to make during divorce, this episode is for you. Today I'm sharing one of my signature coaching frameworks: the 5-5-5 Rule. When you're contemplating divorce or in the middle of one, every decision feels enormous. Should you file now or wait until after the holidays? Should you keep the house or sell it? Should you fight for the retirement accounts or let them go? Should you tell your spouse you want a divorce or stay married? The weight of these decisions can freeze you. You overthink. You ask seventeen people for advice. And then you still don't do anything. The 5-5-5 Rule helps you zoom out when you're stuck in the weeds. It's a simple but powerful framework that helps you figure out which decisions actually matter, and which ones are just emotional noise you need to let go of. Whether you're contemplating divorce, actively going through it, or struggling to make post-divorce decisions, the 5-5-5 Rule will give you a clear lens for moving forward with confidence. Want more resources? Check out my blog [https://www.thedivorceplanner.net/blog], grab my free "24 Questions to Ask A Divorce Attorney [https://www.thedivorceplanner.net/24-questions-to-ask-a-divorce-attorney]" guide, or sign up for my free 4-Email Divorce Prep Series [https://www.thedivorceplanner.net/divorce-prep-series] for a step-by-step roadmap before you meet with an attorney.  Need personalized help? Book a free 15-minute call [https://calendly.com/alex-thedivorceplanner/free-15-minute-strategy-call?back=1] or subscribe to my newsletter [https://www.thedivorceplanner.net/newsletter-submission-form] for weekly tips. The Divorce Planner podcast is for educational purposes only and does not constitute legal or financial advice. Consult qualified professionals about your situation. Podcast Original Music, Editing, and Mixing by: Benjamin Robinson [https://www.beneditsmusic.com/]

How Much Will Your Divorce Cost? Insights from attorney Dennis Vetrano Jr.

If you've been wondering what divorce actually costs—and getting frustrated with vague "it depends" answers—this episode is exactly what you need. In today's episode, I welcome back Dennis R. Vetrano Jr [https://www.drvetranolaw.com/]., a New York-based family law attorney and mediator, for a straightforward conversation about the real costs of divorce. We dive deep into the financial realities most people don't understand until they're already spending thousands more than they expected. What we cover: * What divorce actually costs including real ranges for different types of divorce * Hidden fees that blindside people and catch them off guard * Hourly rates vs. flat fees and which payment structure works best for your situation * When you actually need expensive experts like forensic accountants or appraisers (and when you don't) * The biggest money mistakes people make that cost them thousands * How being organized saves you money with your attorney and mediator * What to do if you can't afford divorce including resources and options * Smart strategies to keep costs down without screwing yourself over in the settlement  Whether you're just starting to consider divorce or actively going through the process, this conversation provides the practical financial information you need to make smart decisions about how you spend your money and protect your interests. Want more resources? Check out my blog [https://www.thedivorceplanner.net/blog], grab my free "24 Questions to Ask A Divorce Attorney [https://www.thedivorceplanner.net/24-questions-to-ask-a-divorce-attorney]" guide, or sign up for my free 4-Email Divorce Prep Series [https://www.thedivorceplanner.net/divorce-prep-series] for a step-by-step roadmap before you meet with an attorney.  Need personalized help? Book a free 15-minute call [https://calendly.com/alex-thedivorceplanner/free-15-minute-strategy-call?back=1] or subscribe to my newsletter [https://www.thedivorceplanner.net/newsletter-submission-form] for weekly tips. The Divorce Planner podcast is for educational purposes only and does not constitute legal or financial advice. Consult qualified professionals about your situation. Podcast Original Music, Editing, and Mixing by: Benjamin Robinson [https://www.beneditsmusic.com/]

Co-Parenting with a Toxic Ex: Boundaries & Survival Strategies for Single Moms with Leah Marie Mazur

If you're struggling to co-parent with a toxic or high-conflict ex, you're not alone—and you're not crazy for finding it exhausting. In today's episode, I'm sitting down with Leah Marie Mazur, a certified divorce recovery coach and founder of Mindfully Ready [https://www.mindfullyready.com/], for a practical conversation about protecting your peace while co-parenting with someone who makes everything harder. Leah specializes in helping single moms heal, set boundaries, and thrive after divorce, especially when dealing with difficult co-parents. We dive deep into the real strategies that actually work when you're dealing with someone who ignores boundaries, manipulates situations, or makes co-parenting feel impossible. What we cover: * How to identify if your ex is truly toxic vs. just difficult to deal with * What "protecting your peace" actually means when you share kids with someone * Setting and enforcing boundaries with someone who constantly ignores them * Overcoming mom guilt when you need to put yourself first * Handling parental manipulation and alienation tactics * Minimizing contact while still effectively co-parenting * Protecting your mental health from a draining co-parent relationship * When to involve lawyers and how to document concerning behavior * First steps to take when you feel completely overwhelmed * Talking to your kids about the situation without causing harm Whether you're navigating parallel parenting, dealing with high-conflict situations, or just trying to survive co-parenting with someone who turns everything into drama, this conversation offers real, actionable strategies that prioritize both your children's wellbeing and your own mental health. Want more resources? Check out my blog [https://www.thedivorceplanner.net/blog], grab my free "24 Questions to Ask A Divorce Attorney [https://www.thedivorceplanner.net/24-questions-to-ask-a-divorce-attorney]" guide, or sign up for my free 4-Email Divorce Prep Series [https://www.thedivorceplanner.net/divorce-prep-series] for a step-by-step roadmap before you meet with an attorney.  Need personalized help? Book a free 15-minute call [https://calendly.com/alex-thedivorceplanner/free-15-minute-strategy-call?back=1] or subscribe to my newsletter [https://www.thedivorceplanner.net/newsletter-submission-form] for weekly tips. The Divorce Planner podcast is for educational purposes only and does not constitute legal or financial advice. Consult qualified professionals about your situation. Podcast Original Music, Editing, and Mixing by: Benjamin Robinson [https://www.beneditsmusic.com/]