The Dumbest Story of the Week

Episode 82: The GOP Has No Pride In Pride, No Love For Billy Joel, 60 Minutes Sucks Now, Trump Is As Healthy As An 80-Year Old Horse, Ayn Rand Gets A Selfish Museum, George Santos (Illegally) Bets On Himself, Birds Choke Their Chickens, and more

Republicans have no pride in Pride. The New York Times has no love for Billy Joel, but New York Times readers apparently do. The Ayn Rand Museum of Selfishness is coming. Everyone except Vanilla Ice dropped out of the America 250 Concerts but they all got cancelled anyway. 60 Minutes fires Scott Pelley and that means that it sucks now. Trump is as healthy as an 80-year-old horse, and I have a number of bridges to sell you. Scientists discover that birds choke their chickens. Gender reveal parties are stupid, especially when they get people killed. Trump is on a losing streak. George Santos (Illegally) bets on himself and may land himself back in the big house for doing so. Pete Hegseth whitewashes the U.S. military, and so much more.

Episode 81: The Kennedy Center Boots Trump, Nobody Wants To Play The Great American State Fair, The POS Airport Code, Texans Love Crooks, There Aren’t Enough Donalds Buried At Arlington National Cemetery, RIP Sonny Rollins, and more

Trump has two weeks to remove his name from The Kennedy Center. Musicians keep bailing on playing The Great American State Fair. An airport will bear the DJT airport code. Was POS already taken? Texans love crooks like Ken Paxton. Donald Trump is dumber than a $250 dollar bill, A surprising number of people hate their partner. Have you ever wanted to be dirt? If you have, then you’re in luck, because human composting is coming to a funeral near you. A Nebraska dog shoots a woman with a shotgun. We have achieved the Idiocracy singularity with an impending UFC event at The White House. California’s Tesla Road Rage Guy gets convicted in Hawaii. Trump loves AI because it allows him to do shit that even he can’t get away with in the real world. Getting paid for having your way with yourself may be the best job in the world. Italy doesn’t think that water is a human right. The ‘Curse of the Goat’ lives! Or not. Furry pilots. Trump is paying for shitty dc renovations with National Park entrance fees. Ebola fears grow, and the U.S. is no longer a member of the WHO. What, me worry? Customer service is dead. You can’t illegally drive with a phone with a hand you don’t have. RFK Jr. is a snake handler. A federal judge gets her freak on. There aren’t enough Donalds Buried At Arlington National Cemetery, RIP Sonny Rollins, and so much more.

Episode 80: Chicago’s Delicious New Holiday, AI Jesus, Colbert’s Final Bow, Macca > MAGA, Trump Skips His Own Son’s Wedding, The 1st Amendment Strikes Back, RIP Schlitz, The Slushiest Of Slush Funds, Yosemite Vandals, The Great Sax Gig In The Sky, and more

Chicago’s delicious new holiday comes with sport peppers and giardiniera. Put your hands on the Internet, because you can now subscribe to AI Jesus. Stephen Colbert’s takes his final The Late Show bow. Macca > MAGA. Trump skips his own son’s wedding and in doing so denies us the most bizarre wedding speech of all time. After getting fired for quoting the late Charlie Kirk’s own words, the 1 Amendment strikes back. RIP to the beer that made Milwaukee famous. Trump launches the slushiest of slush funds to the tune of $1,776 billion of your tax dollars to give to criminals. Vandals have inundated Yosemite National Park and of course it’s Trump’s fault. Dick Parry, Pink Floyd’s legendary saxophone sideman, gets booked at the great sax gig in the sky. Gas prices are high, and Jim Jordan says, “That’s Life.” RIP Barney Frank, and so much more.

Episode 79: Trump Goes To China And Sadly Also Returns, Gerrymandering Fallout, The GOP Grandmother Of The Year Bullies A Kid, Mail Order Pistolas, Sean Duffy’s Big Dumb Road Trip, Questionable Age Gaps, and more

Trump goes to China, and we forgot to change the locks while he was gone. Fallout from the racist GOP gerrymandering starts to pile up. Do you think it’s a good idea to ship pistols through the USPS? Because I don’t. Transportation Secretary and his Fox News Host wife and their NINE CHILDREN go on a big, dumb road trip. Karoline Leavitt is four years closer to the age of her newborn than she is to the age of her husband. Mind the bears. Donald Trump drives his entire motorcade onto the reflecting pool to check out what $15 million of blue paint looks like. The Pentagon releases the first batch of the UFO files, and the truth really isn’t out there. Mississippi wants you to know that they can execute you via firing squad. Welcome to Mississippi! And so much more.

Episode 78: Begun The Redistricting War Has, My Girlfriend Loves Bacteria, A Billion-Dollar Ballroom, RIP Spirit, Commie Spiders Vs. Rittenhouse, Eating The Rich, No More Buffalo, SCOTUS Whines While Screwing Democracy, and more

Begun, the redistricting war has. SCOTUS screws democracy while whining about people calling them out for screwing democracy. Our kitchen sponge is nasty, but my Special Lady Friend doesn’t care. According to rich people, calling someone rich is like using a racial slur. Poor babies. Gas is getting more expensive. Rude neighbors are the worst and nude neighbors are worse still. Casting demons out of the Internet with a holy mobile phone carrier. Yes, your newborn needs the vitamin K shot. New Orleans had better learn to swim. Communist spiders can’t stop Kyle Rittenhouse. Writing paper lists is good for your brain, but New York Times music lists are not. RIP Spirit Airlines. The only thing worse than flying Spirit is not being able to fly Spirit. No more buffalo. A billion-dollar ballroom. And happy 100 birthday to Sir David Attenborough, a man who has done much in the name of our magnificent planet and its wildlife, and so much more.