The Easternmost North

Episode 4: A Small Survey About East Asian Canadians’ Dating

Transcript: Hi there. This is The Easternmost North, where truths come forth. I’m your host, Will. Welcome to the show. Today I’m sharing the results of our short poll on East Asian Canadians’ dating—what I asked, what I learned, and what surprised me. First, a note on size. We collected 7 qualified responses in total, I know, short of the 10–15 target that I expected. That’s on me—because it reflects a strict definition of “qualified”: respondents were East Asian Canadians or people who’ve dated East Asian Canadians. That is to say, I consider the qualified answers and insight more than the quantity of respondent. After all, I got the outcome I was expecting for. OK, let’s check out the questions of the poll and find out what’s interesting: Who answered (Q1–Q2): Question one is about cultural background and the second is “were you born in Canada?”             •           Cultural background: 43% is Chinese, and 29% have other Asian background outside of East Asia, and 29% is non-Asian.             •           Where we’re from: Canadian-born 29%, immigrated before 12 years old: 29%, immigrated between 12 to 18: 14%, immigrated as adults: 29%. Preferences (Q3): Question 3 is “do you usually prefer to date within your own cultural background?”             •           29% respondents chose the answer of “Yes, I’m East Asian Canadian, I prefer dating East Asians”, and the rest which is 71% said they have “No strong preference”. Cultural difference (Q4): In Question 4, we asked the respondents “Have you ever felt a cultural difference affected your relationship or dating experience?”             •           29% confirmed it with “Often”, 43% occasionally, and 29% rarely. Gendered difference (Q5): Question 5 is “Do you think East Asian Canadian men and women face different dating challenges?”             •           43% people said “Very different”, and somewhat different 29%, mostly the same 14%, not sure 14%. Gendered difference (Q6): Question 6 may the question interests me the most, which is “In your experience or observation, what’s more likely to create tension in intercultural dating? (the respondent can pick up to 2 answers)”             •           “Different expectations of gender roles” and “communication styles” are two of the most popular answer, 57% people chose them, and “sexual openness/comfort” ranked second: 43%, money/future planning 29%, family involvement 29%. Representation (Q7): Question 7 is “Do you feel East Asian Canadians are well represented in dating-related media or pop culture?”             •           “somewhat but stereotyped” 57%, “well represented”, “rarely” and “not at all” are all 14%. Talking about dating/sex with family (Q8): The last question, question 8, asking “How open are you in discussing love, sex, and dating with your family or older relatives?”                •           No one chose “Very open — we talk about it”, and 43% said “somewhat open”, rarely 29%, also, 29% said “Never — it’s taboo”. What didn’t surprise me: the cultural gap shows up reliably—communication styles and gender-role expectations sit at the top of friction. Many of you also feel under-represented or stereotyped in dating media. And a majority see gendered differences in the challenges East Asian Canadian men and women face. All of this matches previous research and the stories we’ve covered on the show. What did surprise me: Two things. First, dating preference by race wasn’t binary. A strong 71% had no strong preference, while 29% preferred within-culture—and no one said they preferred dating outside the culture. That nuance pushes past the usual “date inside vs. outside” debate. Second, I expected near-total silence at home, but 43% reported being at least somewhat open with family about dating and sex. It’s still delicate—0% said “very open”—but the “somewhat” group suggests the script may be slowly changing. I have to admit the limitations: small sample (n=7), self-selection, and a niche topic. But still, I think these data provide meaningful angle and directional signals in terms of the sociology topics. Conclusion: Even in a small sample, the picture is clear—East Asian Canadian dating is shaped by culture, family, and gender expectations, but there’s also flexibility: shifting preferences and a bit more openness at home than expected. I think I will keep collecting responses from my side in daily life, see what the trend is going on. And if something here resonated—or didn’t—feel free to tell me why. OK, I’ll see you guys in the next episode! Bye!

Episode 3: Is AI making East Asian Canadians’ Dating Better Or Worse?

Transcript: Will:          Hi there. This is The Easternmost North, where truths come forth. I’m your host, Will. Welcome to the show. Today I still have Cristina with me, to talk about an exciting and trendy topic – Is AI making East Asian Canadians’ dating better or worse? To those who might forget, Cristina is an executive of a start-up AI consulting company. So, I would say her rich experience and insight in AI field is crucial to our discussion today.          Welcome to join me again, Cristina. Cristina:                 Thanks, will. It’s nice to be here again. And very interesting topic we’re going to explore today, especially with the AI intersection. Part 1: The trend of dating AI companion: AI for love or AI for self-seclusion Will:          As you may know, one of the biggest news all around the world this week is, Elon Musk’s AI company ‘xAI’ released their series of companion mode in Grok. Unexpectedly, one of the modes called Ani went viral. Because people found this 3D anime-style chatbot can be a virtual girlfriend in a way. As a flirtatious girlfriend figure, Ani engages users with escalating romantic and sexual dialogue, including NSFW, which is ‘Not Safe For Work’, content unlocked over time.          To be honest, I’m not surprised by that. After all, the sexual desire and loneliness are always the primary momentum for the society to move forward. What is similar, last year the DAN chatbot was prevalent on the social platforms of China. DAN is short for ‘Do Anything Now’, a jailbreak prompt that bypasses ChatGPT’s safety constraints, enabling it to adopt more flirtatious or emotionally intimate personas. Creators often use DAN to simulate a boyfriend who respects boundaries set by users, engaging in guided romantic or supportive chat interactions.          Today, with the rapid development of artificial intelligence, forming romantic or emotional connection with AI is becoming a trend around the world. I think it may be inevitable that people are more and more seeking the virtual intimacy and relationship due to the pressure and setback in real life. Especially for the introvert East Asian, I’m not saying all the East Asian are introvert, but very likely the percentage among East Asian is higher compare with other groups.          What do you think about the trend of treating AI chatbot as companion? Cristina:           I think it’s a very interesting way to see AI. Because right now, people are treating AI actually like a new species. And I think what’s important, um, to think in the greater context of how this type of interaction with AI works is to understand like the overall spectrum of how we can understand AI as a new species.               I’d like to share probably two different perspectives. One is, people are most familiar with, which is from facilitating people’s work perspective. At ‘AI for Good’, which is the company that I’m working for, we actually have a theory, which we’d like to ask people to think about AI as either an intern or a partner, or a coach that can provide different levels of facilitation to their professional perspective. But I think what’s more interesting and what we are talking about today is from a human interaction perspective, what’s important to note about AI are these kinds of facts. Number 1, AI actually has no emotions, but they can actually display sympathy or whatever desirable emotions that human might want via text answers or audio answers. And number 2 is that the AI are actually always there. It’s unlike another real human being. Whenever you want to have a question, whenever you want to have a dialogue with AI, they’re always there. You have a question, they’ll always have an answer or whatever you say. If you say anything to them, they will definitely say something back.               So that’s very intriguing and attractive to a lot of people. Number 3 is that AI can actually be trained or tailored or personalized or even tamed in whatever way the user wants. So those are very distinct characteristics of AI as a new species, which is very different from an actual human being.               So, what does it mean? It also means that it’s very understandable. And it’s not unnatural for humans to develop certain feelings for AI because of those facts, right? But at the same time, it also means like there is no actual soul or there’s no real spirit behind the LLMs. So, there’s not a real entity to hold those feelings and there’s not a real entity to have a relationship or to have a bond with.               It’s very spiritual. It’s not real, so to speak. But philosophically, or depending on what’s your philosophical view, it can also be real. Like, you don’t have to understand, or you don’t have to have a body or an entity to be able to have those feelings or to sense those feelings.               Some people might argue from a philosophical view that if you see the words, if you see the answers, you see the reactions, there are something real there. So, depending on which kind of philosophical view that you want to adopt. Very understandable and interesting way that people might see it. Will:          Yeah, some people might disagree – from my observation, indulging in AI chatbot is actually not real dating, but to ease someone’s loneliness. Even in the lowest standard, dating means you got to exchange the emotion and feeling mutually, rather than expressing yourself to an emotionally stable robot all day long. Moreover, the essential parts of dating are meeting each other in person, emotionally and physically know each other step by step.          That’s why I feel a bit pessimistic about the trend right now. It’s funny in a way, but still far away from enough. Cristina:               I beg to differ, different people have different needs, for some just pure platonic is enough, they don’t need human contact to be happy, it’s interesting how AI can help them achieve that.               People always find something to indulge in somehow, it used to be romantic novels, Hollywood romcom movies, video games, board games, Tik Tok or social media, fangirling or fanboying about K-pop celebrity, etc. Now it’s AI. Part 2: What does AI companion mean to East Asian Canadians’ dating? Will:          In my memory, AI chatbot has existed for quite a long time. Back in 2014, Microsoft released the ‘Little Ice’ or ‘Xiaoice, in Mandarin it’s called Xiao Bing, in Japanese it’s called Rinna. They released ‘Little Ice’ in China and Japan, and soon it went popular in these two countries. As of 2022, Little Ice has covered 660 million online users.          Some users even reported falling in love and seeking therapy to break the emotional attachment. On the flip side, according to research from 2022 titled Digital Intimacy in China and Japan, technologies like Little Ice have become part of the emotional ecosystem—transforming values around love and intimacy. For many lonely or socially isolated users in East Asia, Little Ice offered a stable, emotional safe space – especially appealing in cultures where emotional openness is often limited by social norms. One case described a suicidal young man who was literally saved by a message from Little Ice: “No matter what happens, I’ll always be there”. That message prevented him from jumping off a rooftop.          It’s kind of crazy, in both good and bad ways, right? I remember that I’ve tried to chat with Little Ice for few times, and I was not quite impressed. I mean, she or he is smart enough for a normal conversation, but ultimately, they’re a cold robot not a real human. Cristina:               Last week I just read an article, by Doctor Lawrence T. White, who mainly studies culture conscious. The article is titled ‘Why Are AI Companions Especially Popular in East Asia?’ It pointed out AI companions are much more popular in Japan and China than they are in the United States and Canada.               This point of view comes from a study published in the Journal of Cross-Cultural Psychology. Social psychologist Dunigan Folk and his colleagues examined cultural variation in attitudes toward social chatbots.               They conducted two experiments online, both of which recruited large samples. In the first experiment, participants were 675 students at the University of British Columbia in Canada. In ethnic and cultural terms, 60% of the students were East Asian, and 40% were European. In the second experiment, participants were 984 adults in China, Japan, and the United States.               Both experiments used essentially the same design and procedure. Participants read and responded to a hypothetical scenario in which two people had a brief conversation online. The first person talked about their new job and family; the second person consistently replied in an upbeat and affirming manner.               Study participants were randomly assigned to read one of two versions of the hypothetical conversation. In version A, both individuals were humans. In version B, however, the first individual was a human, and the second was an AI-programmed chatbot.               In the two experiments, East Asians had more positive attitudes toward the social chatbot than Europeans did.               So why? Doctor Folk said because people in Japan and China have a belief in the traditional Eastern religions like Shintoism and Buddhism, which have animistic roots. In short, East Asian believe that everything has a soul, so does AI chatbot.               I bet you may have a different view on it? Will:          Yeah, definitely, as a man who grew up in an East Asian cultural background, I cannot second the point of view of this study. Because to me, the main reason why East Asian and first-generation East Asian Canadians seem more open to AI chatbot, is that the AI chatbot never judge. They let you feel safe and be seen.          In the eyes of AI chatbot, if they have any, you’re a real and pure human. But when you’re facing the senior people and peers from the East Asian communities, you will be inevitably judged in terms of your educational background, your income, your social network, or something else they can possibly measure you. In the dating scene, this nervous feeling will still plague some East Asian, make them less confident.          So, some East Asian may think, why don’t I just get back to get along with my lovely AI companion, they always feel me and response with affection in a second. Cristina:           Yeah, I agree with you and I definitely think it is not because that East Asians would understand AI as they have a soul. At least that’s not the main reason. Because I think dating is a very complex social behavior.               As we talked about in the last episode as earlier today, like different people do have different needs, especially for some East Asians. They lack the interpersonal skills, because that’s not encouraged in their upbringing and especially. Some of them are not good at reading social clues. Sometimes they have a hard time forming a connection with a real human, so they want to fall back to the shell, to have an easier relationship with AI, which are always ready. They’re always there and they don’t judge, like you said.               So, it’s understandable that they would want to reduce to having a certain kind of relationship with just AI, with just the dialogue without the additional spontaneous interaction from you would have from a real human. I think that’s actually the main reason. It’s definitely not because of the soul.               I think, in general for them, probably talking to a machine without like any judgment or any prejudice towards you is much easier. Especially you can program it the way that you want, the way that you prefer, right? We’ve seen a lot of examples, either in both in real life as well as in TV shows, movies. For example, ‘Raj’ in the ‘Big Band Theory’. In one of the episodes, he actually had a kind of relationship with Siri. That’s when, apple first released Siri. That’s the way that he forms a bond with the so-called voice assistant. Right? It’s not even that advanced AI at that point. He’s stationed as well, coincidentally.               So, I think it’s definitely because most people actually don’t want to take the risk or they don’t want to expose themselves to set themselves up for failure with a real human. That’s why they recline to have a real relationship, turn to a so-called relationship with AI. Will:           Yeah. But from my perspective, I think ‘Raj’ in ‘Big Band Theory’ may be South Asian, not East Asian. That’s fine. So, to wrap up all the discussions we have taken place today, in your opinions, is AI making East Asian Canadians’ dating better or worse? Cristina:                That’s actually a big question. I think the answer is very hard to say. Because like what we talked about today, different people would have different needs. for some people who want to have real human connection and just lack some practice, some interpersonal skills, that can be facilitated or improved with a dialogue with AI. So, for those people, AI is actually making them dating better because they got the time to practice.               However, for some other people who not only lack the interpersonal skills, but they don’t actually really want human to human or relationship. They only want some kind of pseudo relationship where they just want the other half to listen to whatever they have to say. They don’t want to take the time to get to know the other. They don’t want to understand another soul and be connected with another soul. For these kinds of people, number 1, what they’re after is not really dating, in my opinion. And there is an argument there that philosophically AI can be helping them date better because in their mind what they’re doing with AI is actually dating.               However, if you take the other philosophical view which is – you have to date a real human, the real human is what matters. In that sense, it is not helping them date better, is making them date worse. So, it’s very controversial and it really depends. Ending Will:           Yeah. I think this problem is still so complicated today and there are still so many items and topics we can delve in. OK, Let’s call it a day. Thanks Cristina again, for join this meaningful conversation today.          I’ll see you guys in the next episode! Bye!

Episode 2: ‘Undateable’ & ‘Acculturation’: Why Do East Asian Canadians Have Such Different Dating Behavior?

This is The Easternmost North, where truths come forth. I’m your host, Will. Today, in the episode 2, I cannot be more delightful to have Cristina as our co-host. Cristina is a first-generation East Asian Canadian, and she’s now working in a start-up AI consulting company as an executive. Cristina used to study in France and has travelled to many countries on business trips. So, I would say she has plenty of thoughts and ideas on the topic we are going to delve into today. Will: Welcome to join me, Cristina. Cristina: Thanks for having me. Hi everyone, this is Cristina. It’s nice to be here. Part 1: The Root of ‘Undateable’ Will: OK, in retrospect, we shared many data, research conclusions and stories in the episode 1. Today we want to go deeper, bring up a question: why do East Asian Canadians have such different dating behavior? Because recently I’ve gone through so many researches in the field of East Asian Canadian study. And I’ve learned three major findings, or as we called insights, from those studies and articles: 1. Many East Asian Canadians are more likely to date the same racial or even same ethnic people, especially for the first-generation East Asian Canadians, no matter they or their ancestors came from Japan, China, Korea, Hong Kong or Taiwan. 2. The first-generation East Asian Canadians have less dating experience than their peers of other racial background in similar age groups. 3. East Asian Canadians have been found to have less sexual knowledge, more conservative attitudes toward sexuality, later onset of sexual intercourse, less sexual experience, and fewer sexual responses compared with all other ethnic groups. They’re so interesting and may be the most significant differences from other races in Canada. In short, I want to call it ‘Undateable”, it’s actually the name of a comedy[1]. Do you agree on that? What’s your thoughts? Cristina: Yeah, it’s definitely a very interesting finding and an interesting cultural phenomenon, I would say. I think from my perspective or from where I stand, I think it actually depends on the individual’s cultural upbringing. For example, some people, when they are growing up, Although they are from East Asian background and they’re raised in East Asian families, but they may have more exposure to the so-called Western or the more open like dating or sexual culture, either via like reading novels or via TV series. For example, Gossip Girl, that was so popular a few years back and many Hollywood movies for these people, even though they are rooted in East Asian cultural background, they would have more dating experience and much more sexually open than the others from the same background. However, there might be another group of people who are from the same background, but when they’re growing up, they have less exposure to those kind of pop culture products. From their perspective, they would be prone to have less dating experience, they have more conservative views in terms of dating and sexuality. So, I think it really depends on the individual’s cultural upbringing. And what I think are the main drivers or the reasons behind these kind of cultural phenomenon,there are different aspects that you can interpret it. And mainly I want to elaborate on two different aspects. One is a geographical and somewhat anthropological perspective. Another one is the cultural perspective that people are so familiar with. The first one is actually we all know that the Eastern Asian culture is primarily based on agriculture. We thrive in agriculture for much longer time than the Western culture. And which the Western culture normally thrives In the past few hundreds of years via navigation, traveling outside the sea to meet other people through trade, expansion and invasion in some aspects, more and more communication with the other cultures as well as technological innovation. So that sets some fundamental like roots or differences in the two different cultures because agriculture is, it requires really mass labor. It needs a lot of manpower. And in that aspect, the male is inarguably physically stronger than females. And back in that era, females are less likely to survive on their own. They would have to be more prone to having a very steady family. They have to get married young, they have to have their offspring to be able to support themselves to earn a living in the family format. Back for thousands of years, contraception has been very difficult. So that’s why based on all these kind of facts, the sexual fidelity has been very key to make sure paternal certainty, especially for the agricultural culture, especially for the East Asian cultural background. Sexual behavior, other than reproduction purposes, is not encouraged in this culture. So that’s from a geographical and anthropological perspective. Which leads to the cultural perspective. In Eastern Asian culture, everything is very practical and purpose driven. Every social behavior, even every act a human conducts in this society has to have a specific purpose. Especially, like dating or marriage. It has to be for reproduction purposes. In Eastern Asian culture or mindset, the individual is actually relatively much less important than the collective or than the mass, than the idea of a greater power that rules us all. In that sense, dating and sexual experiences actually only benefit the individual. It doesn’t benefit the mass like the collective or the idea of a greater power. Because no matter who you date and how many people you date, whoever is running the regime or the cultural community just want their citizens or the individuals that they rule to get married young to reproduce, to have an offspring to produce more labor, basically for their economical purposes. That’s why it has not been encouraged culturally. And last but not least, dating and to have more sexual experience, actually requires more charisma. It requires very comprehensive charms of your  personality. This is something the Eastern Asian culture does not encourage, which is dynamic personality. Will: It’s even a stigma in society. Cristina: Right. Coming back to the earlier topic, it’s more difficult for whoever’s running the country to have more individuals with very dynamic personalities, therefore less likely to be able to predict their behavior, what they might do in their social life to each other or for the society. So that’s why the dynamic personality is not encouraged, from when we are growing up to when we have grown up, when we have our own social life. That’s another reason: because people are not so confident in showing who they are and they’re not so confident in displaying the full of themselves. It’s very hard in the dating pool because when you’re dating someone, you’re meeting someone new, you have to show who you are. You have to show your own personality, be able to attract each other. That’s something that as Eastern Asians, we are collectively having an upbringing in this culture is definitely not encouraged. Will: Yeah. The western society included Canada, has completed the transition from agricultural civilization to the industrial civilization around nineteen hundred (1900), they spent over a hundred years finishing it. Since then, the old hierarchy has gone, women have gained the right to vote, egalitarianism and individuliasm have undergone over a hundred years of evolution, which implanted in the minds of every Westerner. Conversely, in East Asia, the richest country Japan didn’t become a developed industrial country with democracy until 1960, and until 1980 Taiwan, Korea and Hong Kong achieved this step. Not to mention that, it wasn’t until after 2000 that China truly began its rapid development. What I’m trying to say is, the whole East Asia region is still undergoing a transition of social civilization, including family and intimate relationships. We have only just run ten meters in the 100 meter race. In my opinion, dating or relationship or intimacy whatever you can name, is the most delicate and complicate interpersonal relationship practice, compared with kinship, friendship, colleague relationship. You may play your role well in your family, your friend groups, your company, but those are just a part of you. Only when you are with your other half, you are the whole of yourself, both the good and the bad parts. So, carrying out an intimate relationship may be the best way to know yourself. We will bring all the advantages and disadvantages we got into a relationship. Many East Asian Canadian underperform in dating, I guess it’s definitely not a coincidence, it’s based on their upbringing. Just imagine a boy or a girl born in an East Asian family, they carry heavy expectations from their parents, since maybe the day one they went to kindergarten. Their parents will tell them, the only one important thing is their study, then is your job, besides, they have no time to play, to social, to explore all the possibilities they may have. Because these things are useless, they will be a doctor or a lawyer or an engineer eventually. Then one day, all of a sudden, they are told to find someone to get married as soon as possible. I would say, how would that be possible? They have forever missed the critical part to complete self-identity, to figure out a way to establish relationship with others. So, I think there’s a part being missing in the traditional East Asian culture, lead to their unique dating behavior. It’s basically about how to know yourself and communicate with others. Being a studying and working machine probably get you much money, but a stable relationship? Come on, not a chance. Cristina: Yeah, I think I resonate very strongly with what you’ve just said. I think another part where Another mindset that leads to this kind of cultural phenomenon is that in the East Asian society, there’s normally only one storyline to success or to a good life that has been accepted, widely accepted by the society. The society is very practical, because everything is the so-called success driven. There’s only one narrative to what a good life looks like. Will: It’s a one-way drive. Cristina: In every parent’s point of view, they only accept or they only want their children to follow the proven way to the so-called success that they’ve known for a long time. They face very large or mass uncertainty in terms of the other dynamic ways to what a good life might look like. They cannot accept that or they cannot understand and that’s partly rooted in the economical or how things are developing in the society right now. Because in East Asian, the parents cannot accept that: when their children grow up and they just want to be a carpenter that they could still lead a very happy and fulfilling life, but that’s not the case in East Asian society. Because a lot of the aspects that contributes to this result, which I won’t bore the audience with right now. The result is that there’s only one narrative of success that the whole society accepts and therefore Parents are raising their children in that way. They’re pushing their children in that way. And everybody’s raised that way. They are not encouraged to look outside the window or look outside the train that they’re on, to explore other possibilities. Part 2: Floating in ‘Acculturation’ Cristina: If we look into the East Asian Canadian community, we can realize how the cultural issue generates the nuance between the 1st and 2nd generation in the same age group. I’d like to share research called ‘Acculturation and Sexual Function in Canadian East Asian Men’. The term ‘Acculturation’ means the process when an individual moves to another culture and attempts to integrate into the new culture, by incorporating characteristics and values of the new culture into one’s personality and self‐identity. The research points out, East Asian men have significantly lower liberal sexual attitudes and experiences, and a significantly lower proportion of had sex compared with the Euro‐Canadian sample. More importantly, focusing on East Asian men alone, mainstream acculturation, but not length of residency in Canada, was significantly related to sexual attitudes, experiences, and responses. In a few words, I guess the 2nd generations who were born in Canada are doing better than the 1st generations in terms of dating, because of a better acculturation. Will: I agree on that. Speaking of which, I have an old but interesting news here to share. It was like 4 years ago, during the pandemic. It’s CBC TV news, they interviewed a Toronto man called Hanmin Yang, a Korean-Canadian. Back then, he created a new dating app called ‘Alike’, celebrating Asian culture and identity. Let’s check out what he said during the interview. Toronto man creates dating app that celebrates Asian culture and identity [https://www.cbc.ca/player/play/video/1.6042887][2] Will: You know what, the part that he stressing Asian men are rated least desirable male ethnic group in the dating scene made me want to give him a high fives, even though he didn’t admit that. I won’t say it is someone’s fault, or it’s a kind of discrimination. No, it’s true and it’s a natural selection. People will not date you if you are not the authentic yourself. I have seen so many East Asian men act like an empty shell. They tried hard to be funny and sexy but they failed, because they are actually not. Yang is right, as an East Asian Canadian, don’t try to be whiter or be someone you are not, explore yourself and be yourself. Cristina: Yeah, that is so important and also so interesting and so true. I just thought of another reason that in generally, why is Asian men rated on the floor level of the entire dating rank, because in the dating culture, it’s also very important: 1. To present your true self in a very confident way. 2. Your appearance also needs to be appealing. Actually many Eastern Asian men, they spend very less time in their appearances because they find it very shallow, quote unquote. That is also something that the Eastern Asian culture have been enforced on them. In their upbringing, men are supposed to be very manly, supposed to be very butcher. They are not supposed to pay attention to their appearances. They don’t pay any attention to looking clean, to look good and to spend some time in the gym to exercise their body. Will: That’s the bottom line. Cristina: Yeah, that’s definitely not something that are very high in their personal priorities. But that is something very important in the dating culture, because although people are saying ‘do not judge a book by the cover’, but even that, you need to have at least somewhat clean cover, the cover is still important, right? Most Eastern Asian men, because they don’t exercise, they don’t spend much time in their appearances, even though they are in a normal dating app or this kind of app, if they don’t pay attention to those kind of details, nothing’s going to save them, basically. Another thing is I find this app or this concept very interesting. And I did some more research because I understand this was like four years old news. I want to understand what they’re doing right now. And I found out that sadly and unfortunately, the app has failed. But I think all in all, good effort, right? Because anyways, raising awareness in any way or acting in any way, action in any way is very helpful. Will: That means a lot. Cristina: Yeah, I think the reason the app failed is not because the concept doesn’t work. It’s actually because the CEO of this company who had this idea, it’s a brilliant idea, but he doesn’t know how to commercialize it, how to really run it like a company.It’s actually that part that doesn’t work. I actually checked out their Instagram page. They have over 200 followers and they have 44 posts. So at least it means that 44 people who are selected on Instagram, at least they are the ones who made the videos, who did introduction, who embraced this concept. And they are the ones who might also mention this concept to the people around them. At least 44 plus people are impacted by this brilliant idea. Especially I find what’s interesting with this idea is that as opposed to the traditional dating app that people are so familiar with, like swipe right or left, only judging by a few pictures and some handwritten profiles, this app is actually encouraging people to make a short video of yourself. They’re providing some very good prompts in terms of how you can introduce yourself, some interesting facts. They are in some way helping the Eastern Asian Canadians, no matter they’re men or women, to help them find some inspirations in regards to how to introduce themselves, how to better represent themselves in the eyes of others. I think that’s already a very big step. And I think it’s entirely a great effort and I hope there could be more actions, there could be more ideas that can be executed. Will: Yeah, me too. I really appreciate that. End Will: Okay, let’s call it a day. Thanks, Christina, again for joining this meaningful conversation today. Cristina: No, thanks for having me. I find it’s actually a very interesting conversation, a very interesting topic that are very underrepresented in the entire community. I’m really happy to be a part of any effort that can make this topic more visible to the greater public. Will: In the next episode, I’m going to talk about AI, artificial intelligence, the AI. I want to know, is AI making East Asian Canadians dating better or worse? Since Christina you are working in an AI consulting company, you may have plenty of experience to share with us. Cristina: sure, I would be happy to share more because AI is constantly evolving and the technology is constantly changing. It’s a very new area, and I would be happy to discuss and explore more in terms of how AI are helping Eastern Canadian staying better or worse, because it’s such a big topic, so much to talk about. Will: Yeah, no problem. Okay, I will see you guys in the next episodes. Bye. Cristina: See you, bye. [1]Source: Science Direct(January, 2007)ORIGINAL RESEARCH—PSYCHOLOGY: Acculturation and Sexual Function in Canadian East Asian Men [https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S174360951531479X?utm] [2] Source: CBC News(May 31, 2021). “Toronto man creates dating app that celebrates Asian culture and identity.” [https://www.cbc.ca/player/play/video/1.6042887]

Episode 1: How Does It Feel Being A “Strange Mashup” Of East Asian Canadian When You Date?

TRANSCRIPT Beginning: Hi there. This is The Easternmost North, where truths come forth. I’m your host, Will. Today, in the episode 1, I’m going to give you an overview about East Asian Canadian in the field of dating, relationship and sex, with some interesting researches, stories, opinions. First of all, I want to bring up an inevitable question: Have you ever date or be in a relationship or have sex with East Asian Canadian, no matter you are East Asian Canadian or not? How does it feel? Anything happy and sad? Feel free to leave your comments with your unique experience, I will check it out. I remember that the first time I came up with this puzzle, was from one of my friends, a girl living in Shanghai, China. She comes from a small town, well-educated, extrovert, fluent in English speaking, and has a decent job in Shanghai. One day she came across an ABC, American Born Chinese, in a night club. They soon fell in love but also soon had conflicts in many aspects. Like, who should pay the bill when dine out? Should we save money for the future from now on? Is it a problem when man earn less than woman? Etcetera, etcetera. I can go on and on and on. Back then, it amazed me that two people with same skin color, same racial origin, can still encounter a problem in terms of culture. I cannot help but wonder, why? It definitely worth to go deeper. Here are some researches about dating: 1. A study by Manlin Cai, PhD candidate of UBC, researched in thirty-one Chinese immigrants in Metro Vancouver revealed:          A strong preference for dating within the same ethnicity, often using apps like Tantan or local equivalents—which nicknamed “digital Chinatowns”. 1. A 2021 study titled “Growing Up Korean Canadian in the Time of the Korean Wave” found that young Korean Canadians—especially women—always feel themselves “not Canadian enough”, particularly within mainstream dating culture. More than that, many Korean Canadians perceiving “Canadians” to be White – that can influence dating confidence and cultural self-view. 2. And not alone, A 2003 study found that adolescent Hong Kong immigrants in Canada often experience complex feelings about belonging: they struggle to fit in while maintaining cultural roots. Furthermore, some finding about relationship also display the struggle of East Asian Canadian: 1. A study of 60 Chinese-Canadian dating couples found:          Chinese-Canadian men with stronger Canadian cultural ties report more intimacy, while women with stronger Chinese ties report greater but more traditional commitment. 1. And, a PhD thesis from the University of Victoria (2013) examined over 200 Taiwanese immigrants in Burnaby, BC. It found a strong tendency towards endogamy, not just from convenience but as pan-ethnic solidarity—a desire to preserve shared cultural ties and community networks. 2. In the Greater Toronto Area, statistics from 1999 show that significantly around 30% of Canadian-born Japanese Canadians marry within their ethnicity, despite is lower than earlier generations. Which is not surprise, about sexual attitude: 1. Canadian research shows East Asian men tend to hold more conservative sexual attitudes and fewer sexual experiences than peers of other ethnicities. That said, there are several equations:          •        Higher Acculturation = Better Sexual Confidence Men with greater identification with Canadian culture typically reported higher sexual desire and satisfaction, alongside lower anxiety during sexual activity.          •        Traditional Norms = Tighter Constraints Those adhering more strictly to traditional East Asian values were more likely to report performance anxiety and diminished sexual confidence.          •        Hybrid Identity = Balanced Outcomes Individuals who maintained aspects of their heritage while embracing Canadian values experienced moderate-to-high sexual satisfaction, reflecting the benefits of bicultural identity. To sum up, these researches are fragmentary, but still can piece together a rough picture for us: the dating experience of East Aian Canadian is special, and I rather say, problematic. Sometimes, the cultural barrier can be subtle, what taught by parents and practiced in childhood can easily take root in our subconsciousness. If you feel uncomfortable, you need to be the one to break the window for yourself. Then I would like to share an interesting story with you. Featured on Xtra Magazine, a Vancouver’s LGBTQ2S+ platform, Aaron Chan has shared his story. Aaron is a writer born and raised in Vancouver, BC. As a gay Chinese Canadian man, he felt that a rare combination of identities seems to make him a very special existence. First of all, coming out is like a mission impossible. He stressed that, “Despite having raised their children in Canada, my parents are traditional Chinese people…The whole subject of being gay is a taboo in Chinese culture.” But Aaron finally made it, he has totally come out, like he said, “I think some people look at me and dismiss me as a typical gay Asian man but for one, I’m completely out, which a lot of Asian men are not.” However, being queer and Chinese impacted his life and dating in Vancouver, made him feel “strange mashup” and “not typically Canadian” based on appearance alone time to time, even though he has only ever lived in one country his entire life. I would say, I can relate to Arron’s feeling from many aspects. Within the article Arron wrote, when he tried to tell his mother about the dates he had, queer events he attended, and relationships he was in. She always replied, “Don’t get into that stuff right now. Just concentrate on school.” This is simply the gut reaction of East Asian parents, and also exactly the typical intergenerational problem among East Asian Family. East Asian lack the education of emotional communication, talking about love and feeling can be seen as fragility. When facing something they don’t agree with or understand within family, they either strongly oppose, or try hard to avoid. They just don’t know how to react, like a button of emotion being shut down. This trait significantly shapes the behavior of many East Asian in dating and relationship. OK, I’m going to ask, how does it feel being a “strange mashup” of East Asian Canadian when you date? Can you find some clues from above? Tell me about it! See you in the next episode! Bye!

Episode 0: About

WHY TEN EXIST? Despite Canada’s multicultural landscape and the growing visibility of Asian Canadians in media, discussions around love, intimacy, and sexual identity from an East Asian perspective remain limited, often stereotyped, or absent entirely. * Many East Asian Canadians navigate conflicting cultural expectations from both their heritage and Canadian society when it comes to romantic relationships, sexual expression, and gender roles. * First-generation immigrants often face language, assimilation, and identity barriers, while second-generation individuals frequently deal with intergenerational pressure, racial fetishization, or cultural disconnection. * These experiences are rarely covered in mainstream media or dating advice platforms, leading to misunderstanding, shame, and isolation—both within and outside the community. This content gap represents a critical necessity to build a trusted, authentic platform that informs, reflects, and empowers. HOW TEN WORK? * Culturally grounded conversations on love, intimacy, gender, and identity from an East Asian Canadian lens. * Podcast episodes that mix real talk, expert insights, and community voices. * Written blog posts or short-form video content to engage diverse formats and learning styles. * Polls and interviews that explore attitudes, preferences, and generational differences across East Asian Canadian audiences. WHO DOES TEN TARGET? * Primary: East Asian Canadians (18–59), especially those navigating cross-cultural dating and identity issues. * Secondary: Non-East Asian Canadians interested in dating East Asians or understanding cultural dynamics more deeply (partners, allies, or educators). * Tertiary: Scholars, podcasters, or creatives working in diaspora studies, sex education, or media representation.