026 - A Critical Component to a Fulfilling Marriage that Lasts

026 - A Critical Component to a Fulfilling Marriage that Lasts

In this episode of the Impact Marriage Podcast, Allan and Nicole Blain discuss the importance of having a shared mission in marriage. They explore how drifting away from God's purpose can threaten relationships and emphasize that strong marriages are built around a common mission rather than just personal happiness. The couple shares their personal journey of transformation and the fulfillment they found in serving others together. They provide practical steps for couples to discover their shared mission and encourage listeners to consider the legacy their marriage will leave behind. Who are Allan & Nicole Blain? We’re Allan and Nicole Blain — college sweethearts, now married 33 years, parents of six amazing grown kids, and co-leaders of a thriving, purpose-driven business and ministry. We met as student-athletes (she played volleyball and I played baseball), just 5 days after Nicole's 19th birthday. We were married one year later, five days after she turned 20, on September 12, 1992. Connect with us: * Email us at: allan@allanblain.com * Website [https://allanandnicole.com/] https://AllanAndNicole.com * Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/impactmarriagepodcast] @ImpactMarriagePodcast * YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/@ImpactMarriagePodcast] @ImpactMarriagePodcast * TikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/@impact.marriage.p?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc] @ImpactMarriagePodcast * Order Allan's book [https://www.amazon.com/LIFES-HARD-SUCCEED-ANYWAY-Settling-ebook/dp/B0CCZ38GKL/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2S4FGTWFF3J18&keywords=allan+blain+book&qid=1696456790&sprefix=allan+blain%2Caps%2C104&sr=8-1] "Life's Hard Succeed Anyway”  Takeaways: * The greatest threat to marriage is drifting away from God's purpose. * Strong marriages are built around a shared mission, not just happiness. * Couples need to unite around a mission to thrive together. * Shared purpose creates unity and intimacy in a relationship. * Selfishness pulls focus inward, while mission pulls outward. * Couples should ask God what He wants to do through their marriage. * Practical steps include discovering gifts and dreaming together. * Serving others as a couple can reignite passion in a marriage. * Every marriage has influence and something to give. * Legacy is about what you leave in others, not just what you leave to them. Sound bites: * "What if the greatest threat to your marriage is drifting?" * "Strong marriages are built around mission." * "Mission always pulls us outward; selfishness pulls us inward." * "What do you want to do through our marriage?" * "Your version one is better than your version none." * "What did we do with the marriage He entrusted to us?" * "What legacy do we hope our marriage leaves behind?" Bonus Questions: * 1.    What first attracted us to each other, and has our purpose evolved since then? * 2.    If we could solve one problem in the world together, what would it be? * 3.    What gifts has God given each of us that complement one another? * 4.    Where do we sense God opening doors right now? * 5.    What fears might be keeping us from stepping into a bigger mission? * 6.    Who is one person or family we could intentionally invest in over the next month? * 7.    If our children described the mission of our family, what would they say? * 8.    What legacy do we hope our marriage leaves behind? Keywords: marriage, shared mission, purpose, relationship, fulfillment, impact, couple goals, Christian marriage, intimacy, legacy

025 - Why we Gave Up Alcohol and How It's Affected our Marriage

In this episode, Allan and Nicole Blain share their personal journey of choosing to stop drinking alcohol, exploring the reasons behind their decision, biblical perspectives, and the positive impacts on their lives. They aim to encourage listeners to reflect on their own relationship with alcohol and make informed choices. Who are Allan & Nicole Blain? We’re Allan and Nicole Blain — college sweethearts, now married 33 years, parents of six amazing grown kids, and co-leaders of a thriving, purpose-driven business and ministry. We met as student-athletes (she played volleyball and I played baseball), just 5 days after Nicole's 19th birthday. We were married one year later, five days after she turned 20, on September 12, 1992. Connect with us: * Email us at: allan@allanblain.com * Website [https://allanandnicole.com/] https://AllanAndNicole.com * Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/impactmarriagepodcast] @ImpactMarriagePodcast * YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/@ImpactMarriagePodcast] @ImpactMarriagePodcast * TikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/@impact.marriage.p?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc] @ImpactMarriagePodcast * Order Allan's book [https://www.amazon.com/LIFES-HARD-SUCCEED-ANYWAY-Settling-ebook/dp/B0CCZ38GKL/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2S4FGTWFF3J18&keywords=allan+blain+book&qid=1696456790&sprefix=allan+blain%2Caps%2C104&sr=8-1] "Life's Hard Succeed Anyway”  Key topics: * Personal journey of sobriety * Biblical views on alcohol and drunkenness * Impact of alcohol on health, marriage, and spirituality * The role of self-control and love in decision-making * Science and research on alcohol risks Chapters: * 00:00 Introduction: Our Story and Why We Talk About Alcohol * 01:23 The Question: Why Do You Drink? * 02:20 Our Drinking History: From College to Marriage * 04:38 Cultural Normalcy of Alcohol and Slow Creep into Life * 06:05 The DUI Wake-Up Call and Its Impact * 07:01 Leaning on Jesus Instead of Alcohol * 07:58 Biblical Perspectives on Alcohol: What the Bible Says * 09:24 Self-Control and Loving Others More Than Yourself * 10:46 Being Sober-Minded and Impacting Lives * 12:05 The Benefits of Giving Up Alcohol * 13:58 Science and Research on Alcohol Risks Keywords: alcohol, sobriety, Bible, Christian, health, marriage, decision-making, personal growth, spirituality, alcohol risks

024 - How Your Words Shape Your Marriage

In this conversation, Allan and Nicole Blain explore the profound impact of words on marriage and relationships. They emphasize the importance of positive communication, the dangers of anger, and the necessity of apologies and forgiveness. The discussion highlights how words can shape the atmosphere of a home and influence the identities of spouses and children. The Blains encourage listeners to be intentional with their words, fostering an environment of encouragement and love, while also addressing the need for truth delivered with grace. Who are Allan & Nicole Blain? We’re Allan and Nicole Blain — college sweethearts, now married 33 years, parents of six amazing grown kids, and co-leaders of a thriving, purpose-driven business and ministry. We met as student-athletes (she played volleyball and I played baseball), just 5 days after Nicole's 19th birthday. We were married one year later, five days after she turned 20, on September 12, 1992. Connect with us: * Email us at: allan@allanblain.com * Website [https://allanandnicole.com/] https://AllanAndNicole.com * Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/impactmarriagepodcast] @ImpactMarriagePodcast * YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/@ImpactMarriagePodcast] @ImpactMarriagePodcast * TikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/@impact.marriage.p?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc] @ImpactMarriagePodcast * Order Allan's book [https://www.amazon.com/LIFES-HARD-SUCCEED-ANYWAY-Settling-ebook/dp/B0CCZ38GKL/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2S4FGTWFF3J18&keywords=allan+blain+book&qid=1696456790&sprefix=allan+blain%2Caps%2C104&sr=8-1] "Life's Hard Succeed Anyway”  Takeaways: * Words have the power to build or destroy relationships. * Healthy marriages thrive on positive interactions. * The average person speaks thousands of words daily, impacting their spouse significantly. * Encouragement is essential for emotional well-being. * Criticism can lead to long-term damage in relationships. * Apologies can restore trust and invite healing. * Children often mirror the words spoken to them by parents. * Truth should always be delivered with love and grace. * Creating a positive atmosphere at home requires intentional communication. * Daily affirmations can strengthen marital bonds. Chapters: * 00:00 The Power of Words in Marriage * 12:55 Navigating Anger and Communication * 20:02 The Importance of Apologies and Forgiveness * 28:31 Creating a Positive Atmosphere at Home  Sound bites: * "Life and death are in the power of the tongue." * "Your spouse becomes what you constantly speak." * "Encouragement is like oxygen." * "Outdo one another in showing honor." * "Words have power, apologies have power too." * "Imagine what your marriage could look like." 7 Day Challenge: Every morning... Tell your spouse: * One thing you appreciate. * One thing you admire. * One reason you're thankful for them...With ZERO negativity! Every evening... * Pray out loud over your spouse for one-minute and watch what happens. Questions for Couples: * 1.    What words from your childhood still affect you today? * 2.    What words from your spouse have meant the most? * 3.    What words have hurt the most? * 4.    What words do you wish you heard more often? * 5.    How can we intentionally speak life this week? * 6.    If our children copied the way we speak to each other, would we be proud? Keywords: marriage, communication, power of words, encouragement, forgiveness, anger management, positive atmosphere, relationships, parenting, biblical principles

023 - The Hidden Addictions Threatening Your Marriage

In this episode of the Impact Marriage podcast, Allan and Nicole Blain explore the concept of hidden addictions in marriage, which can often be overlooked. They discuss how these addictions, whether they be to technology, work, fitness, or even good things like family, can create distance and loss of intimacy in relationships. Allan and Nicole emphasize the importance of self-evaluation, identifying personal idols, and making intentional changes to prioritize marriage and spiritual health. They provide practical advice and reflective questions for couples to consider, aiming to foster deeper connections and awareness in their relationships. Who are Allan & Nicole Blain? We’re Allan and Nicole Blain — college sweethearts, now married 33 years, parents of six amazing grown kids, and co-leaders of a thriving, purpose-driven business and ministry. We met as student-athletes (she played volleyball and I played baseball), just 5 days after Nicole's 19th birthday. We were married one year later, five days after she turned 20, on September 12, 1992. Connect with us: * Email: allan@allanblain.com * Website [https://allanandnicole.com/] https://AllanAndNicole.com * Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/impactmarriagepodcast] @ImpactMarriagePodcast * YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/@ImpactMarriagePodcast] @ImpactMarriagePodcast * TikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/@impact.marriage.p?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc] @ImpactMarriagePodcast * Order Allan's book [https://www.amazon.com/LIFES-HARD-SUCCEED-ANYWAY-Settling-ebook/dp/B0CCZ38GKL/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2S4FGTWFF3J18&keywords=allan+blain+book&qid=1696456790&sprefix=allan+blain%2Caps%2C104&sr=8-1] "Life's Hard Succeed Anyway”  Chapters: * 00:00 Introduction to Hidden Addictions in Marriage * 02:45 Understanding Idols and Addictions * 06:59 Identifying Personal Idols * 09:46 The Impact of Phone Addiction * 12:29 Work and Success as Idols * 14:45 Fitness and Appearance Obsessions * 18:34 Shopping and Money Issues * 20:27 Gaming and Hobbies as Distractions * 21:56 Alcohol and Pornography Addictions * 23:51 The Need for Approval * 25:46 The Dangers of Busyness * 27:16 Self-Evaluation and Reflection * 30:07 Implementing Changes in Marriage * 34:20 The Importance of Intentionality * 39:48 Key Scriptures and Final Thoughts Sound bites * "Hidden addictions or idols can destroy marriages." * "Satan distracts us with really good things." * "When does a blessing become an idol?" * "What comes into the mind first?" * "Are you looking more at your phone than your spouse?" * "Success became my identity." * "Retail therapy can be an addiction." * "Busyness is one of Satan's greatest tools."  Takeaways: * Hidden addictions can be more damaging than obvious ones. * Idols can be socially acceptable things like work or fitness. * It's important to identify what has become too important in your life. * Phone addiction is a prevalent issue in modern marriages. * Success and work can easily become idols. * Fitness should enhance your relationship, not compete with it. * Retail therapy can provide temporary satisfaction but may lead to addiction. * Busyness can disconnect couples more than conflict. * Self-evaluation is crucial for recognizing personal idols. * Intentionality is key to rebuilding connection in marriage. Questions to Ask Yourself: * What gets the first part of my day? * What gets the last part of my day? * What gets my best energy? * What do I run to when I'm stressed? * What am I unwilling to give up? * What makes me most defensive? * What would my spouse say competes most with them? * What do I think about when my mind has nothing else to think about? * What do I spend the most money on? * What receives my greatest emotional highs and lows? Keywords: marriage, hidden addictions, idols, intimacy, communication, self-evaluation, personal growth, relationship advice, spiritual health, intentionality

022 - Protecting Your Marriage from Pornography

In this episode, Allan and Nicole discuss the pervasive issue of pornography and its impact on marriages, highlighting alarming statistics and personal stories. They emphasize the importance of understanding intimacy and connection in relationships, and how pornography can create isolation rather than fulfillment. The conversation also explores societal factors contributing to the rise of pornography and the emotional consequences it has on individuals and couples. In this conversation, Allan Blain discusses the profound impact of early exposure to pornography on individuals and relationships. He emphasizes the importance of honesty and openness in maintaining intimacy, highlighting how secrecy can damage trust and emotional connection. The discussion also covers practical steps for overcoming pornography addiction, the significance of communication after discovering infidelity, and strategies for protecting marriages from external influences. Ultimately, the conversation underscores the power of healing through grace, forgiveness, and the importance of taking the next right step in the journey towards restoration. Who are Allan & Nicole Blain? We’re Allan and Nicole Blain — college sweethearts, now married 33 years, parents of six amazing grown kids, and co-leaders of a thriving, purpose-driven business and ministry. We met as student-athletes (she played volleyball and I played baseball), just 5 days after Nicole's 19th birthday. We were married one year later, five days after she turned 20, on September 12, 1992. Connect with us: * Email: allan@allanblain.com * Website [https://allanandnicole.com/] https://AllanAndNicole.com * Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/impactmarriagepodcast] @ImpactMarriagePodcast * YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/@ImpactMarriagePodcast] @ImpactMarriagePodcast * TikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/@impact.marriage.p?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc] @ImpactMarriagePodcast * Order Allan's book [https://www.amazon.com/LIFES-HARD-SUCCEED-ANYWAY-Settling-ebook/dp/B0CCZ38GKL/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2S4FGTWFF3J18&keywords=allan+blain+book&qid=1696456790&sprefix=allan+blain%2Caps%2C104&sr=8-1] "Life's Hard Succeed Anyway”  Chapters: * 00:00 Understanding the Impact of Pornography on Marriage * 12:46 The Nature of Intimacy and Connection * 18:21 The Rise of Pornography in Society * 24:20 The Consequences of Pornography on Relationships * 25:39 The Impact of Early Exposure to Pornography * 27:11 Secrecy and Its Effects on Intimacy * 32:40 Understanding the Struggles with Pornography * 34:36 Steps to Overcome Pornography Addiction * 35:24 Communication After Discovery of Infidelity * 40:11 Building Trust and Emotional Safety * 45:46 Protecting Your Marriage from External Influences Takeaways: * Around 70% of men and 30% of women report viewing pornography. * Approximately 50-60% of Christian men struggle with pornography. * Pornography is a significant factor in many divorce cases. * Wives often describe discovering their spouse's pornography use as emotionally devastating. * The issue of pornography is common but not harmless. * Healing and hope are possible for those struggling with pornography. * Intimacy is more than just a physical connection; it's about emotional vulnerability. * Loneliness and stress are major contributors to the consumption of pornography. * Pornography promises intimacy but often leads to isolation. * Curiosity can lead to addiction, often without the individual realizing it. The average age of first exposure to pornography is around 12 years old. * Secrecy damages intimacy and trust in relationships. * Comparison can creep into relationships when emotional safety is compromised. * Honesty and openness are crucial for maintaining intimacy. * Healing from pornography addiction requires accountability and support. * Communication is key after discovering infidelity. * Rebuilding trust takes time and effort from both partners. * Emotional safety is essential for vulnerability in relationships. * Healthy intimacy looks different from what the world portrays. * No marriage is beyond God's ability to restore.  Sound bites: * "70% of men report viewing pornography." * "This is a serious, significant problem." * "Pornography isn't so much a sex issue." * "Curiosity often leads to addiction." * "They struck gold and the dopamine hits" * "The devil's just having a hay day" * "Secrecy damages intimacy" * "Comparison is going to creep in" * "It's not a rejection of you" * "Just the next right step" * "Healing begins with honesty" Keywords: pornography, marriage, intimacy, addiction, statistics, healing, connection, divorce, Christian couples, emotional impact pornography, intimacy, marriage, communication, trust, addiction, emotional safety, healing, relationships, family