Maybe It's NOT Your Budget: Real Talk About Money
In this episode of the Love You To Life Podcast, Elizabeth White and Calvalyn Day get real about the money conversations nobody wants to have, and why they are the ones you need most.
Rather than another budget tip or expense-cutting checklist, Elizabeth and Calvalyn go beneath the strategies to uncover the money stories, money wounds, and money mindsets that are quietly running your financial life.
Drawing on their combined expertise in emotional intelligence, coaching, and lived experience, the two explore how generational poverty cues (yes, including the grease can on the stove), childhood scarcity, and survival-mode thinking shape the way you earn, spend, save, and give money today, often without you even realizing it.
They break down the four core money personality types, share vulnerable personal stories about overspending to feel worthy and being the “bank and backbone” for family members, and explain why financial freedom is not tied to a budget, it’s tied to what you are willing to face.
Elizabeth and Calvalyn also push back on shame-based financial advice and make the case that healing your money wounds must come before (or alongside) any money strategy. They speak directly to high-achieving Black and brown women who are overqualified, carrying the financial weight of their families, and still wondering why the app isn’t working. Spoiler: it’s a belief issue, a boundaries issue, and a worthiness issue long before it is a budgeting issue.
Resources Mentioned:
Heal Your Relationship with Money by Kara Stevens [https://amzn.to/3PzzoZB]
Stay Connected!
Instagram
Elizabeth — @lovinglifewithliz [https://www.instagram.com/lovinglifewithliz]
Calvalyn — @calvalyn [https://www.instagram.com/calvalyn/?hl=en]
TikTok
Elizabeth — @lovinglifewithliz [https://www.tiktok.com/@lovinglifewithliz]
Calvalyn — @calvalynday [https://www.tiktok.com/@calvalynday]
LinkedIn
Calvalyn Day [https://www.linkedin.com/in/calvalynday/]
Elizabeth White, LMHC, LCAC [https://www.linkedin.com/in/elizabeth-white-lmhc-lcac-board-certified-life-coach-34ba8734/]
Chapters
00:00 Introduction & Crowdsourcing a Theme Song
01:00 Why Money Conversations Are Nobody’s Favorite
02:30 Money Strategies Won’t Fix What You Won’t Face
04:00 Poverty Cues: Sermon, Grease Cans & Visual Abundance
09:00 Generational Poverty Starts in the Way You Live
11:00 Money Stories Are Planted by Age Four
12:30 The Four Money Personality Types
13:45 Elizabeth’s Story: Overspending to Feel Normal
14:30 Calvalyn’s Story: The Avoider Turned Overachiever
15:00 Opposites Attract: Money Trauma in Relationships
17:00 The Birthday Bag: Worthiness Without a New Purchase
17:45 Shame Is Always in the Room
19:00 Nobody Taught Us About Wealth & Abundance
21:00 Dave Ramsey, Shame-Based Advice & Why It Doesn’t Work for Us
23:30 Financial Freedom as Autonomy & Safety, Not Checkbox Compliance
25:00 Minimum Wage, the Economy & Systems Not Built for Us
26:30 Why Do I Believe What I Believe About Money?
27:15 Worthiness, Deserving, & the Cost of Self-Denial
29:00 Healing the Money Wound: It’s Biological, Emotional & Spiritual
30:00 Athletes, Bankruptcy & Unhealed Money Stories
31:30 Being the Bank & the Backbone for Your Family
33:30 High Achievers: Find Your Boundaries
35:30 Healing Must Happen Before (or With) the Strategy
37:00 Financial Freedom Is Tied to What You’re Willing to Face
37:45 Identify the Feeling You Want to Have About Your Money
39:00 Community Challenge: What Money Story Are You Ready to Let Go?
Keywords
money mindset, money story, money wounds, financial freedom, generational wealth, generational poverty, money trauma, emotional intelligence, financial healing, high achievers, Black women and money, abundance mindset, scarcity mindset, overspending, money personality types, budget alternatives, financial boundaries, bank and backbone, worthiness and money, money beliefs, healing your finances, financial stress, poverty cues, Love You To Life Podcast, Elizabeth White, Calvalyn Day, wealth building for women, financial shame, money behaviors, expansive money conversations, financial wellbeing
