The Neurodivergent Leader Podcast

Intro to Pillar Talk

“I feel really strongly that we need to provide a safe space for people to be able to come and investigate who they are and feel comfortable,” emphasizes Donna McLaughlin. In today’s inaugural edition of Pillar Talk, co-hosts Heather Wagner and Donna McLaughlin discuss the five competencies that their curriculum encompasses. They dive deep into how they developed the framework for their leadership program and the personal experiences that led them down this path.  Heather and Donna discuss how their personal relationships with neurodivergence paired with their individual backgrounds in leadership development and trauma-informed teaching has provided them with the expertise to create the framework for their neurodivergent leadership program. They then explain the five core competencies (The Five A’s) that they teach in their program for neurodivergent leaders: awareness, authenticity, action, accountability and advocacy.  Tune into this week’s episode of The Neurodivergent Leader Podcast to learn more about the pillars that Heather and Donna use to guide their work. If you are a neurodivergent individual who feels like you want to change your life, but you’re not quite sure where to start, don’t miss out on this conversation!   Quotes • “I just feel really strongly that we need to provide a safe space for people to be able to come and investigate who they are and feel comfortable and not feel as if they’re being judged and not feel as if they’re being pathologized and not feel as if they have to mask or perform or do anything in order to be who they are and then get in community with one another and say, ‘How can we empower each other? How can we become more accountable, as well as how can I do all of those things?’ So that was where for me this whole idea kind of sparked.” (14:30-15:09 | Donna) • “We believe in strength-based leadership development, and we believe in empowering people to own their strengths.” (24:33-24:42 | Heather) • “What if we renamed it ‘The Great Restoration’ where we put humans and values back in the center?” (29:06-29:13 | Heather) • “It’s the actual celebration of people’s differences that I think is going to be the catalyst to cracking open some of these issues. Most of us…hiding the parts of yourself that you feel the most ashamed about or that aren’t received well in the world by other people and make you vulnerable, those are the places that we need to actually crack open and let other people see inside of it so that we can heal from it…The actual healing comes in confronting it and getting it out there in the open and letting other people witness to it and support us through it that really the transformation and the change is going to occur.” (35:05-36:01 | Donna)   Learn more about the Neurodivergent Leader Podcast: www.neurodivergentleader.com [http://www.neurodivergentleader.com]  https://www.instagram.com/neurodivergentleader/ [https://www.instagram.com/neurodivergentleader/]    Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm [http://hivecast.fm]

Radical Acceptance as Parents

“You have more power than you think,” says Lisa Candera. Up until two years ago, Lisa lived in a constant state of stress over her son’s struggles, her responsibilities at work, and how to manage it all. She is a single mom of a teen with Autism, OCD, Anxiety and DMDD, life coach and lawyer. Lisa coaches moms raising kids with autism about how to manage their minds and regulate their emotions while their child is dysregulated. On today’s episode, Donna and Lisa both share their experiences with learning how to trust their own instincts as a parent even when other people didn’t approve or understand. Lisa describes how she now understands when her own emotions and thoughts can begin to mirror those of her son. She tells listeners that with the tools she has developed through her experiences in therapy and coaching, she has learned how to “be the solid object” and to stay grounded when our children can’t. Tune into this week’s episode of The Neurodivergent Leader Podcast to learn more about the importance of slowing down, preparation, and acceptance, so you can better navigate the challenges of special needs parenting AND thrive while doing it.   Quotes • “Instead of defining ourselves by other people's perception of how our kids are doing, we need to define that on our own.” (09:50-09:57) • “We can't make other people do, say, or think things, but we can control the way we're thinking and feeling about it.” (19:43-19:50) • “External validation is great when you can get it, but if we're waiting around for it we might be waiting a long time, so you have to validate yourself.” (20:25-20:33) • “We are the center of our experience of parenting a child with special needs in a world that's not made for them and doesn't have supports for us.” (22:07-22:16) • “I've learned to not get into the weeds, stay like a little bit higher above it, watch what's happening, and be able to redirect him and also redirect myself.” (28:53-29:05) • “In your child's life, you are the greatest resource. There's no medicine, therapy, or doctor that's more important than you are.” (36:28-36:38) • “What are the ways that you can take what you have and make it beautiful?” (37:17-37:21)   Connect with Lisa Candera: www.bethesolidobject.com [http://www.bethesolidobject.com]  @theautismmomcoach  lisamcandera@gmail.com [lisamcandera@gmail.com]    Learn more about the Neurodivergent Leader Podcast: www.neurodivergentleader.com [http://www.neurodivergentleader.com]  https://www.instagram.com/neurodivergentleader/ [https://www.instagram.com/neurodivergentleader/]    Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm [http://hivecast.fm]

Embrace Your Weird

“Embrace your weird,” encourages Christina Stathopoulos, founder and head coach of Hear Her Roar, a leadership coaching company that focuses on empowering millennial women. In this episode, co-hosts Heather Wagner and Donna McLaughlin talk with special guest Christina about the importance of being openly yourself and leaning into your unique life experiences to empower both yourself and others.  Christina discusses each of her identities, including her relationship with being neurodivergent as an autistic woman and as a person with obsessive compulsive disorder. She shares with listeners how she has learned to embrace these identities rather than hiding them away. While Christina used to shy away from the parts of herself that were viewed as “weird” or “wrong,” she now proudly accepts and cherishes those pieces of herself, as they allow her to better connect with others and to be a better coach.  Tune into this week’s episode of The Neurodivergent Leader Podcast to learn more about how embracing your neurodivergence can empower you to find more success in both your personal life and your work life and inspire others to do the same. If you are someone who has ever been called “weird” or made to feel othered, don’t miss out on this conversation!   Quotes • “When I first decided to become an entrepreneur, I was very much still in that world of ‘put out what is categorized as good and keep in what it categorized as wrong or bad about myself.’ And immediately where that halted me in the process of growing a business was I couldn’t figure out how to connect to clients and I couldn’t figure out how to pull in the people that I really craved to be working with. I think the reason for that was because I wasn’t willing to see traumas that I had been through or the things that made me different from other people as something to look at and process. I just saw them as that’s just in the way and I need to pull myself up by my bootstraps and forge ahead and push ahead.” (09:52-10:46) • “Coaches need to start with having a very clear understanding of their own identity and having ownership of it.” (24:08-24:14) • “Now I enter rooms and I go, ‘Hey I’m queer. I’m neurodivergent. I’m an immigrant’s daughter.’ These are ways that I’ve lived that inform how I view the world.” (25:25-25:35)  • “As a suggestion, just because you may have done the work to heal your relationship with some of your identities doesn’t mean that your clients have.” (29:17-29:28) • “Embrace your weird, whatever that means…There are ways that you’ve lived your life that will be so crucial to other people getting to transform and connect differently because of you.” (34:57-35:32)    Connect with Christina Stathopoulos: www.hearherroar.net [http://www.hearherroar.net]  https://www.instagram.com/hearxtinaroar/ [https://www.instagram.com/hearxtinaroar/]   Learn more about the Neurodivergent Leader Podcast: www.neurodivergentleader.com [http://www.neurodivergentleader.com]  https://www.instagram.com/neurodivergentleader/ [https://www.instagram.com/neurodivergentleader/]    Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm [http://hivecast.fm]

Behavior is Biology

“I ask my child, ‘What do you need right now?’” explains Heather on how she responds to her child when she sees them struggling, or using what is perceived as negative behaviors. In this episode, co-hosts Heather Wagner and Donna McLaughlin discuss the way our society pathologizes behavior and how this can be harmful to both adults, and for a neurodivergent child’s development. They talk about alternative ways to think about behavior and how to respond productively in situations where a dysregulated child is demonstrating maladaptive behaviors.  Heather dives deep into a question she recently received from a parent regarding their child’s upcoming functional behavior analysis. Heather presents the idea that society has chosen to pathologize children’s behavior rather than understand the biology behind it. Donna and Heather explain that behavior is an involuntary response to a trigger. When a parent or teacher can identify the trigger behind a behavior, they can better understand what the child needs and correct the maladaptive behavior without being punitive. Tune into this week’s episode of The Neurodivergent Leader Podcast to learn more about better regulating your own emotions before responding to a dysregulated child. If you are an educator or parent of a neurodivergent child and experiencing frustration with their behaviors, don’t miss out on this conversation!   Quotes • “Behavior is typically not a choice. It’s a symptom or an involuntary response to an emotional trigger or some sort of event that is happening outside of our control.” (07:09-07:25 | Donna) • “What we do in our society is we pathologize normal biological responses.” (12:57-13:02 | Heather) • “If it’s a tantrum, you need to ignore it. And my heart broke because they’re all meltdowns. They’re all dysregulated states where a child needs a regulated caregiver and this is what the problem is.” (15:53-16:20 | Heather) • “We are the adult in the situation. They are the child in the situation. If we as the adult cannot even control our own regulatory system in response to our child’s behavior, then how are we asking them either developmentally or as a human to be able to respond to things when they’re feeling very out of control or afraid or whatever it is that they’re experiencing?” (17:14-17:41 | Donna) • “I ask my child, ‘What do you need right now?’” (24:57-25:12 | Heather) • “I want everyone to understand what it is we’re dealing with, so we can better advocate and we can help co-regulate… Let’s take the shame and the punishment and the punitive and all of that trauma away.” (35:54-36:11 | Heather)    Learn more about the Neurodivergent Leader Podcast: www.neurodivergentleader.com [http://www.neurodivergentleader.com]  https://www.instagram.com/neurodivergentleader/ [https://www.instagram.com/neurodivergentleader/]    Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm [http://hivecast.fm]

Joanna Grace (Part 2): My Mummy is Autistic

“I didn't used to say that I was autistic. Not because I'm ashamed of being autistic, but just for very practical reasons that I'm aware of the prejudice,” explains Joanna Grace, Founder of The Sensory Projects, Author and TEDx speaker. On this second installment of two-part conversation with Joanna Grace, co-hosts Heather and Donna ask Joanna about her experience with being an autistic mother, and how that led her son to become the youngest published author in the UK.  Joanna dives into the story of how her four-year-old son became a published author. Because Joanna is a primary school teacher, she tried everything to get her young son to continue writing over summer break. To fully comprehend how their minds process information differently, Joanna encouraged her son to draw pictures and write a book about having an autistic mother. This book showcases a five-year-old’s understanding of divergent minds from a simplified neurotypical perspective. This book is not only helpful for younger audiences, but also for neurotypical individuals who are having a difficult time understanding how the mind of an autistic person works.  Tune into the second installment of this two-part conversation with Joanna Grace to learn more about how autistic minds process information and how to understand neurodiversity through the lens of a four year old. Then, check out Joanna’s and her four-year-old son’s books using the links below!    Quotes  • “I didn't used to say that I was autistic. Not because I'm ashamed of being autistic, but just for very practical reasons that I'm aware of the prejudice.” (02:50-2:55 | Joanna Grace)  • “I was thinking, goodness, does he suffer from having an autistic mummy?” (4:30-04:33 | Joanna Grace)  • “Like many neurodivergent people I experienced delayed processing with language. So it's like it buffers as it goes into my brain.” (7:49-07:53 | Joanna Grace)  • Somebody, when they were talking about his authority to write this book said, you know, this little boy has lived 24/7 with an autistic person. So he's an expert, even though he's very young. (10:16-10:22) • And so, yeah, he is the UK's youngest published author and his book My Mummy is Autistic talks about the language processing differences that I experienced. And it does so in a very pragmatic, mommy's brain is different. Words go in like this in her brain. This is what mommy's listening face looks like. This is what my listening face looks like. It's very matter of fact, it's very accepting and it's very celebratory. (12:14-13:00 | Joanna Grace)  • “Neurodiversity is natural. A lot of the deficit based narratives are possible to flip. You know, it's not that this is a particular strength or a particular weakness. It's just capacity in context.” (14:31-14:46 | Joanna Grace)    Connect with Joanna Grace: 7 Min SENCO: Autism https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLi1RQR58BHnW5LtJfD0Ph-RIH7EhnrP3t [https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLi1RQR58BHnW5LtJfD0Ph-RIH7EhnrP3t]    TedTalk: https://www.ted.com/talks/joanna_grace_chloe_salfield_inclusion_for_pity_s_sake?utm_campaign=tedspread&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=tedcomshare [https://www.ted.com/talks/joanna_grace_chloe_salfield_inclusion_for_pity_s_sake?utm_campaign=tedspread&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=tedcomshare]    LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/joannagracethesensoryprojects/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/joannagracethesensoryprojects/]  Twitter: https://twitter.com/jo3grace [https://twitter.com/jo3grace]  Facebook https://www.facebook.com/JoannaGraceTSP [https://www.facebook.com/JoannaGraceTSP]    www.thesensoryprojects.co.uk [http://www.thesensoryprojects.co.uk]  Stories: http://www.thesensoryprojects.co.uk/sensory-stories [http://www.thesensoryprojects.co.uk/sensory-stories]  Books: http://www.thesensoryprojects.co.uk/books [http://www.thesensoryprojects.co.uk/books]  College: http://www.thesensoryprojects.co.uk/online-college [http://www.thesensoryprojects.co.uk/online-college]    Learn more about the Neurodivergent Leader Podcast: www.neurodivergentleader.com [http://www.neurodivergentleader.com]  https://www.instagram.com/neurodivergentleader/ [https://www.instagram.com/neurodivergentleader/]    Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm [http://hivecast.fm]