After The Fantasy: Rebuilding You, Ep. 3 - Identity Reconstruction

After The Fantasy: Rebuilding You, Ep. 3 - Identity Reconstruction

- who are you after the "we" - collapse of the shared fantasy - what you lost - the kernel of the 'self' - success defined in reconstruction - the ego would prefer you suffer - genuine failure - end-running the ego

After The Fantasy: Rebuilding You, Ep. 1 - What The Grief Is About

- the hard part (the leaving part is easy) - when a narcissistic relationship ends - the voice in your head that uses you - why survivors can't trust their own minds - why "just be yourself" is the worst advice- the "survival self" - why letting it go is hard - what actually gets rebuilt

Narcissistic Healing Ep. 7: The Relational Goal For Healing Narcissism - Co-Independence

- what you are changing into - the more important question for narcissist than healing - why most people cannot reach nonconditional love - what is the willingness to love without transaction - the internal stance that make change possible - telling the truth without losing the relationship - why most therapies contract the false self - the architecture doesn't disappear - what to build instead

Healing Narcissism Ep. 6: Narcissistic Mortification - the Shattering

- shattering the false self - creating the opening - the first to mortify the narcissist - controlled shattering through cold therapy - what most narcissists usually do - the reverse regression sequence - the kidnapper metaphor - when not to do controlled mortification- how holding works

Narcissistic Healing Ep. 5: The Therapy Map

- modification vs. cure and healing in narcissism; how it works - DBT test outcomes and men's "cover borderline" - Vaknin's "cold therapy" - re-traumatization - 18 maladaptive schemas - therapies that collude with the false self - reverse splitting