Say Less: The Parenting Strategy That Gets Teens to Listen

Say Less: The Parenting Strategy That Gets Teens to Listen

Have you ever noticed that the more you remind, explain, lecture, or give advice… the less your teen seems to listen? In this episode of The Parenting Pair Podcast, Dr. Annalise Caron and Dr. Suzanne Allen explore one of the simplest—but most powerful—communication strategies for parents of tweens and teens: saying less. As parents, it's natural to want to help by offering reminders, solutions, opinions, and guidance. But sometimes our well-intentioned words can overwhelm our children, make them feel controlled, or unintentionally shut down communication. Instead, learning to pause, listen more, and create space can strengthen trust, encourage independence, and help teens develop confidence in solving their own problems. In this episode, you'll learn: * Why "saying less" actually helps teens communicate more * How over-explaining can unintentionally damage connection * The difference between supporting and over-directing * How to encourage independence without withdrawing emotionally * Practical ways to reduce conflict and increase cooperation * Why silence can become one of your most effective parenting tools Episode Highlights: 00:00 Want Your Kids to Trust You More? 00:35 Say Less: A Simple Parenting Strategy That Works  00:59 What Does "Say Less" Really Mean?  02:34 Why Saying Less Builds Stronger Connections  05:26 Raising Independent and Confident Kids  06:38 The Benefits of Talking Less as a Parent  08:41 When Can Parents Practice Saying Less?  11:49 Final Thoughts: Small Changes, Big Impact If you're parenting a tween, teenager, or young adult, this episode offers clinically-informed strategies that can improve communication and strengthen your relationship. 💬 We'd love to hear from you:  What is one situation where you could try "saying less" this week? 👍 If you found this episode helpful, please leave us a rating or review — it helps other parents find the show. 🎙️ Hosted by Clinical Psychologists, Dr. Annalise Caron and Dr. Suzanne Allen. 🔔 New episodes every Wednesday — subscribe so you never miss one. ✉️ Newsletter: https://drscaronandallen.com [https://drscaronandallen.com/]  📱 Instagram: @theparentingpair  💬 Questions you want answered on future episodes or topic suggestions: hello@theparentingpair.com DISCLAIMER: The Parenting Pair Podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional psychological or medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you have concerns about your or a family member's wellbeing, please contact a licensed mental health professional or physician.

Why Making Friends Is Harder Than It Looks (And How to Help Your Teen) | Deirdre Flores

Is your teen struggling to make friends, maintain friendships, or navigate their social world? Many parents worry when their tween or teen seems lonely, has difficulty connecting with peers, misses social cues, or struggles to maintain friendships. But social communication is a complex set of skills—and many young people need support learning them. In this episode of The Parenting Pair Podcast, clinical psychologists Dr. Annalise Caron and Dr. Suzanne Allen welcome Deirdre Flores, M.S., CCC-SLP, founder of The Teen SLP, to discuss the social communication skills that help tweens, teens, and young adults build meaningful relationships. Together, they explore: ✔️ What social communication skills actually are ✔️ Why making friends is harder for some teens than others ✔️ The connection between executive functioning, ADHD, and friendships ✔️ How parents can provide support without taking over ✔️ Why social struggles are often about skills, not shyness ✔️ Ways to coach teens around texting, planning hangouts, and maintaining friendships ✔️ Why clubs, hobbies, jobs, and shared interests matter so much socially ✔️ How to reduce shame and build confidence in socially struggling teens Here are some highlights from the episode: 00:00 Social Communication Is Built on Executive Functioning 00:57 Meet Deirdre Flores, Speech-Language Pathologist 02:49 What Does a Speech-Language Pathologist Do? 04:52 Why Social Communication Skills Matter 05:44 The Link Between Executive Functioning and Communication 10:15 Breaking the Stigma Around Social Skills Coaching 13:18 Why Speech-Language Pathologists Play a Critical Role 15:52 Understanding the Emotions of Both Parents and Teens 17:14 How Parents Can Gradually Remove the Scaffolding 20:59 The 4-Week Rule, Volunteering, and Part-Time Jobs 28:13 How to Connect with Deirdre Flores Social skills are life skills. The ability to communicate, connect, and maintain relationships affects friendships, dating, college success, and future careers. The good news? These skills can be learned and strengthened. If you're parenting a tween, teen, or young adult who is struggling socially, this conversation offers practical, compassionate, and expert-informed guidance. Where to find Deirdre Flores, M.S., CCC-SLP: https://theteenslp.com/ https://www.instagram.com/theteenslp/ 👍 If you found this helpful, subscribe to The Parenting Pair Podcast and share this episode with another teen or tween parent. 🎙️ Hosted by Clinical Psychologists, Dr. Annalise Caron and Dr. Suzanne Allen. 🔔 New episodes every Wednesday — subscribe so you never miss one. ✉️ Newsletter: https://drscaronandallen.com [https://drscaronandallen.com/]  📱 Instagram: @theparentingpair  💬 Questions you want answered on future episodes or topic suggestions: hello@theparentingpair.com DISCLAIMER: The Parenting Pair Podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional psychological or medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you have concerns about your or a family member's wellbeing, please contact a licensed mental health professional or physician.

Re-Release: Stop Spiraling: How to Catch the Thoughts That Stress You Out as a Parent

We're re-releasing this episode because the topic keeps coming up — over and over again — in our work with parents. How we think matters. It shapes how we feel, how we act, and how we show up in our relationships with our teens. Parenting isn't only about our kids — our own well-being, our own thought patterns, and our own mental health matter too. If you caught this one when it first aired as Episode 13, we think it's worth a second listen. And if you're new here, this is a great place to start. Do you ever catch yourself thinking your teen "should" have done something differently — or spiral from one bad moment straight to imagining the worst? You might be stuck in a 'thinking trap.' In this episode, Dr. Suzanne Allen and Dr. Annalise Caron break down three of the most common thinking traps parents of tweens and teens fall into, and share simple, practical ways to shift your thinking so you can show up calmer, clearer, and more connected. What we cover: * "Should" thinking — why this one word quietly cranks up frustration and how to swap it out * Mental filter — when you zoom in on everything going wrong and tune out everything that's going right * Jumping to conclusions — how one moment with your teen can send your brain spiraling into worst-case scenarios * One powerful question — "What else could be true?" — that works for all three traps Whether you're navigating daily friction or a more serious situation with your teen, these tools will help you pause the spiral and respond with more patience and perspective. Timestamps:  00:00 – Are You Spiraling About Your Teen?  01:00 – What Are Thinking Traps & Why They Matter  03:00 – Dr. Allen's Checkout Line Moment  05:24 – Trap #1: "Should" Thinking  09:34 – Trap #2: Mental Filter  16:26 – Trap #3: Jumping to Conclusions  20:23 – One Question to Reframe Everything 👍 If you found this helpful, subscribe to The Parenting Pair Podcast and share this episode with another teen or tween parent. 🎙️ Hosted by Clinical Psychologists, Dr. Annalise Caron and Dr. Suzanne Allen. 🔔 New episodes every Wednesday — subscribe so you never miss one. ✉️ Newsletter: https://drscaronandallen.com [https://drscaronandallen.com/]  📱 Instagram: @theparentingpair  💬 Questions you want answered on future episodes or topic suggestions: hello@theparentingpair.com DISCLAIMER: The Parenting Pair Podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional psychological or medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you have concerns about your or a family member's wellbeing, please contact a licensed mental health professional or physician.

Screens All Summer? How to Avoid Constant Fights With Your Tween or Teen

Summer break is supposed to be relaxing—but for many parents of tweens and teens, it quickly turns into a battle over screens, video games, YouTube, and endless hours indoors. In this episode of The Parenting Pair Podcast, clinical psychologists Dr. Annalise Caron and Dr. Suzanne Allen tackle a question many parents are asking right now: "What do I do if my teen wants to spend the entire summer gaming or watching TV?" Whether your child is too old for traditional summer camps, too young for a job, or simply facing weeks of unstructured time, it can be incredibly stressful to watch screens become the default activity. Parents often find themselves worrying that they're failing, arguing constantly about technology, or wondering if their child is missing out on important developmental experiences. In this practical and compassionate conversation, Annalise and Suzanne discuss how parents can approach summer differently—moving away from power struggles and toward collaboration, curiosity, and realistic expectations. You'll learn: ✔️ Why many parents feel guilty about summer screen time ✔️ How anxiety and catastrophizing can make screen conflicts worse ✔️ Ways to collaborate with your tween or teen when planning summer activities ✔️ How to shift from pessimism to possibility-focused thinking ✔️ Why video games don't have to be the enemy ✔️ The concept of creating a balanced "summer diet" of activities ✔️ How to encourage independence, social connection, and exploration without constant battles ✔️ Practical resources and ideas for families navigating long, unstructured summer days Chapters: 00:00 -  Introduction: Expanding Your Teen's Summer Possibilities 00:44 - Summer Break & Screen Time: Helping Teens Balance Free Time 02:36 - Four Key Areas to Consider This Summer 03:05 - 1. Common Parenting Thinking Traps Around Summer Screen Time 07:42 - 2. How to Collaborate With Your Teen Instead of Fighting Them 09:57 - 3. Questions That Help Teens Explore New Summer Opportunities 13:53 - 4. Resources for Evaluating Games, Apps & Media Content If you're worried your teen will spend the entire summer on YouTube, Xbox, TikTok, or their phone, this episode offers guidance to help you reduce conflict and create a more balanced summer experience. Useful resources discussed in this episode: Common Sense Media: https://www.commonsensemedia.org/ [https://www.commonsensemedia.org/] Family Media Plan:  https://www.healthychildren.org/english/fmp/pages/mediaplan.aspx?_gl=1*cx15ma*_ga*MTcxNzk0OTc3MC4xNzgxNzk3NzUw*_ga_FD9D3XZVQQ*czE3ODE3OTc3NTAkbzEkZzEkdDE3ODE3OTc4MzEkajQ2JGwwJGgw [https://www.healthychildren.org/english/fmp/pages/mediaplan.aspx?_gl=1*cx15ma*_ga*MTcxNzk0OTc3MC4xNzgxNzk3NzUw*_ga_FD9D3XZVQQ*czE3ODE3OTc3NTAkbzEkZzEkdDE3ODE3OTc4MzEkajQ2JGwwJGgw] 💡 Remember: the goal isn't perfection. It's helping your child build a summer that includes connection, growth, rest, and fun. 👍 If you found this helpful, subscribe to The Parenting Pair Podcast and share this episode with another teen or tween parent. 🎙️ Hosted by Clinical Psychologists, Dr. Annalise Caron and Dr. Suzanne Allen. 🔔 New episodes every Wednesday — subscribe so you never miss one. ✉️ Newsletter: https://drscaronandallen.com [https://drscaronandallen.com/]  📱 Instagram: @theparentingpair  💬 Questions or topic suggestions: hello@theparentingpair.com DISCLAIMER: The Parenting Pair Podcast is designed for informational and educational purposes only. Do not rely on the information presented in this podcast as a substitute or replacement for professional -- psychological or medical -- advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you have concerns about you or a family member's well being, please contact a licensed mental health professional or physician.

The Real College Conversation: What Every Parent Needs to Know Before (and After) Freshman Year

Starting college is exciting—but it can also be overwhelming for both young people and parents. In this episode of The Parenting Pair Podcast, clinical psychologists Dr. Annalise Caron and Dr. Suzanne Allen are joined by clinical psychologists and college transition experts, Dr. Liz Seidler and Dr. Sarah Olivo to discuss what really happens when teens leave home and begin living on their own. From homesickness and making friends to executive functioning, self-advocacy, managing emotions, and navigating newfound independence, they share practical, evidence-based strategies to help families prepare for one of life's biggest transitions. Whether your child is heading off to a dorm, moving away for the first time, or simply preparing for college life, this conversation offers actionable advice that can reduce stress and set both parents and students up for success. In this episode, you'll learn: 🎓 How to prepare teens for the transition to college 🏠 Common challenges students face when living independently 💬 Why self-advocacy is one of the most important college skills 🧠 How executive functioning impacts college success ❤️ Ways parents can support without becoming overinvolved 📚 Practical tips for fostering resilience and confidence Highlights from this episode: 00:00 Why Meaningful Connection Is All Your College Student Needs 01:05 Meet Dr. Liz Seidler & Dr. Sarah Olivo 01:42 Helping Teens Transition to College Independence 04:44 The Biggest Challenges Students Face During Freshman Year 08:44 How Parents Can Best Support Teens Starting College 10:07 4 Ways Parents Can Help: Mind the Story You Tell About College 12:13 4 Ways Parents Can Help: Ask Better Questions & Invite Conversation 15:39 4 Ways Parents Can Help: Create an Emotional Plan Before Move-In 18:42 4 Ways Parents Can Help: Listen Before You Problem-Solve 22:12 Parent Group Chats: Helpful Resource or Hidden Pitfall? 26:35 What College Students Actually Find Most Helpful 28:46 Why Meaningful Campus Connections Matter for Student Success 31:44 Listen to the “College Is Fine, Everything's Fine" Podcast If you're getting ready to send your child to college or you have a college student who has just returned home, this episode is one you won't want to miss. To learn more about Dr. Liz Seidler and Dr. Sarah Olivo, please visit their “College is Fine, Everything’s Fine” podcast website, YouTube channel or individual practice websites: Listen to “College Is Fine, Everything's Fine” Podcast here: https://www.collegeisfinepodcast.com/ [https://www.collegeisfinepodcast.com/] “College is Fine, Everything's Fine” YouTube Channel here: https://www.youtube.com/@CollegeIsFinePodcast [https://www.youtube.com/@CollegeIsFinePodcast] Dr. Liz Seidler’s website:  https://www.cbtridgefield.com/ [https://www.cbtridgefield.com/] Dr. Sarah Olivio’s website: https://www.drsaraholivo.com/ [https://www.drsaraholivo.com/] Additional Resources Discussed in this episode: Mental Health in College: What Research Tells Us About Supporting Students by Alexis Redding https://www.amazon.com/Mental-Health-College-Research-Supporting/dp/B0FQ9HXNB6 👍 If you found this helpful, subscribe to The Parenting Pair Podcast and share this episode with another parent preparing for college season. 🎙️ Hosted by Clinical Psychologists Annalise Caron and Suzanne Allen. 🔔 New episodes every Wednesday — subscribe so you never miss one. ✉️ Newsletter: https://drscaronandallen.com [https://drscaronandallen.com/]  📱 Instagram: @theparentingpair  💬 Questions or topic suggestions: hello@theparentingpair.com DISCLAIMER: The Parenting Pair Podcast is designed for informational and educational purposes only. Do not rely on the information presented in this podcast as a substitute or replacement for professional -- psychological or medical -- advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you have concerns about you or a family member's well being, please contact a licensed mental health professional or physician.