Intuitive eating, PCOS and the disconnection from our bodies
Hello everyone,
Today, I bring you the lovely Julie Duffy Dillon [https://substack.com/profile/6242156-julie-duffy-dillon] from PCOS Health with Intuitive Eating [https://findyourfoodvoice.substack.com/]. I absolutely loved this conversation with Julie, and I think you will too.
Julie is a Registered Dietitian who spent over 25 years helping women with PCOS heal their relationship with food and find peace within their bodies. Her book Find your food voice can be found here [https://julieduffydillon.com/].
Over these years, she kept seeing the same pattern: women with PCOS being harmed by the very advice that was meant to “fix” them. Not because PCOS causes eating disorders directly, but because of how early restriction starts for so many of us.
Being told, often in adolescence, that we are “too big” or that we must lose weight to control our hormones does something subtle but powerful. It teaches us that our bodies cannot be trusted.
Personally, this is my mission in the work I do: help women connect to their bodies, even when PCOS is present, which is why this specific conversation was so special to me.
In this episode, we cover:
* What is intuitive eating?
* Is intuitive eating suitable for someone with PCOS?
* How did we lose the connection to our body?
* What are some baby steps we can take to start intuitive eating?
* What does “good” look like?
This episode can be listened to on all major platforms, including Spotify [https://open.spotify.com/show/1nkBOBjKZCiI9MrGR4aSp9?si=d0b5eada97024229&nd=1&dlsi=b36f12dd55ac4460], Apple [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-pcos-podcast/id1822045321] and YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCWhvvo0awQBmLgP44tco7xA/]. If you prefer reading, I have summarised it below.
I share snippets from our conversation and short-form content on Instagram. Follow us there:
What is intuitive eating?
Julie described intuitive eating as a non-diet framework for learning how to live with food. Not to control it. Not to master it. Not to optimise it to perfection. But to live with it.
At its core, it means making peace with food and giving yourself unconditional permission to eat. You are allowed to eat. You are allowed to decide what you do with your body.
Intuitive eating is often simplified to “eat whatever you want.” In practice, it relies heavily on hunger and fullness cues—and not everyone feels them clearly. Especially not women with PCOS. Especially not women who have dieted for years. If hunger cues are unreliable, we don’t abandon structure entirely. We can use other signals. The clock. Fatigue. Mood. Cravings.
Fatigue and cravings, in particular, are strong signals in PCOS. They are not character flaws. They are not weaknesses. They are data.
She mentioned something interesting from her clinical work: when someone could not stop eating cereal or peanut butter, it was often a sign they weren’t eating enough overall. The body was looking for quick carbohydrates and micronutrients. It was not a discipline issue. It was survival.
Do we focus on eating enough, or eating “better”?
Julie always starts with enough. If the body is not getting enough total energy, it stays in a state of deprivation. In that state, it cannot regulate properly. It cannot stabilise blood sugar effectively. It cannot be repaired, and most importantly, it can’t eat intuitively because it’s always fighting.
Trying to optimise food composition while under-eating is like trying to design the perfect house while the foundation is cracking.
She has worked with many women who had both PCOS and anorexia, more than the literature often suggests, and she saw repeatedly that once energy intake stabilised, several things improved before any micronutrient optimisation was introduced: sleep, focus, emotional regulation, and overall energy.
Only when the body feels safe does it allow you to think clearly enough to refine composition.
And this connects to something we discussed — the “overhaul” phase. That moment after diagnosis when fear drives you to change everything at once. Cut everything. Count everything. Fix everything.
Fear does not create sustainable behaviour change. It creates short bursts of control followed by burnout.
When the panic fades, meaningful work can begin.
How much of the disconnection with our bodies is PCOS, and how much is dieting?
PCOS does bring physiological differences — fatigue, cravings, altered insulin signalling. But Julie was very clear that diet culture amplifies the disconnection.
We live in a world where we are told how we should look, how we should eat, and that our bodies are projects to manage. Over time, external noise becomes louder than internal signals.
Many women with PCOS have also been traumatised in medical settings. Repeated weight-centred conversations create shame and hypervigilance. Trauma increases stress. Stress worsens inflammation and insulin resistance. The cycle feeds itself.
When fear is used as motivation — whether for heart disease, diabetes risk, or PCOS — it does not last. It may create compliance temporarily, but not stability.
Grace works better than panic.
What are some of the baby steps to make with intuitive eating?
If intuitive eating feels abstract or even slightly frustrating, the baby steps are far less dramatic than we imagine. It does not start with throwing away all structure or suddenly “trusting yourself.” It often starts with something much more grounded: eating consistently. Three meals a day. Not skipping lunch even if you are “not that hungry.” Noticing when fatigue or irritability might actually mean you need food. It can look like adding rather than removing — adding protein to a meal, adding a snack before you get overly hungry, adding awareness to why you are reaching for something. It is also about gently observing without judgement. Instead of asking, “Why did I eat that?” asking, “What was I needing in that moment?” Hunger, comfort, stimulation, rest? Intuitive eating begins with curiosity, not control. And over time, that curiosity becomes trust.
What does “good” look like?
Before making changes, list the PCOS symptoms that are actually disrupting your life. Not what you think should bother you. Not what social media emphasises. What genuinely affects your day-to-day.
Is it fatigue?Cravings?Irregular cycles?Sleep?
Those become your markers.
“Good” does not mean perfection. It means those symptoms are becoming less intrusive.
Labs can help, but they are not the only measure. For some women, medical environments are triggering, and that must be taken seriously. Symptom relief, sleep quality, energy stability — these matter.
Why have we lost connection to our bodies?
Our grandparents did not track macros. They ate what was available. They ate when they were hungry. There was no calorie ledger on the wall.
Modern life is different. Food is engineered. Messaging is constant. We override hunger with rules.
Interestingly, Julie mentioned that connection often becomes easier when we are caring for someone else, for example, during pregnancy. When responsibility extends beyond ourselves, we tune in more carefully. There is research supporting this.
But she also said something important: we deserve nourishment whether we are growing a baby or not.
Connection should not be conditional.
A closing thought
You can add many tools to manage PCOS, but you also deserve grace. If something is not working, it does not mean you failed. It may just mean you do not yet have the right tools, and that is a very different starting point than blame.
You can follow Julie on her own Substack below:
See you Sunday,
Francesca
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