The Snark Factor 3 in 3 - AI Pineapples Biscuits

The Snark Factor 3 in 3 - Late Night Cruise Joe’s

The audio is above. Byron Allen takes over CBS late night, makes the network money, and somehow the media reaction is still about rich, white, male hosts defending another rich, white, male host. Carnival reported that nearly six million cruise travelers may have had personal information exposed, because apparently, identity theft now boards before you do. Trader Joe’s is opening twenty-five new stores, which is wonderful news for anyone who enjoys frozen dumplings and parking lots designed during a hostage situation. Yes, this one runs a little over four minutes, because apparently three stories needed overtime today. If you’re listening regularly and haven’t subscribed yet, that’s how you get this every weekday. Sources: The Hollywood Reporter, The Hill, PennLive. Thanks for reading! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit fingersmalloy.substack.com [https://fingersmalloy.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]

The Snark Factor 3 in 3 - Hormuz Stroke Gurus

Audio is above. Iranian state TV says there may be an unofficial draft framework with the U.S. to reopen commercial shipping through the Strait of Hormuz, but the deal is already running into trouble. Jill Biden now says she feared Joe Biden was having a stroke during the 2024 debate, which is quite the update from the post-debate “great job” spin. And desperate single men are reportedly paying thousands to online dating gurus for profile audits, AI photos, and the chance to become “elite,” because apparently romance needed a consulting package. Subscribe to get The Snark Factor 3 in 3 every weekday. Sources: Reuters, CNN, New York Post. Thanks for reading! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit fingersmalloy.substack.com [https://fingersmalloy.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]

The Snark Factor 3 in 3 - AI Pineapples Biscuits

Audio is above. Sam Altman, CEO of OpenAI, says AI probably won’t bring the jobs apocalypse, which is reassuring in the way a volcano saying “relax” is reassuring. Royal Caribbean is cracking down on cruise cabin door decorations, and the upside-down pineapple community may never emotionally recover. Popeyes is bringing biscuit mix to grocery stores, so America can finally make edible drywall in the privacy of its own home. If you’re listening regularly and haven’t subscribed yet, that’s how you get this every weekday. Sources: Reuters, New York Post. Thanks for reading! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit fingersmalloy.substack.com [https://fingersmalloy.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]

The Snark Factor 3 in 3 - Iran Comcast Gas

Audio is above. President Trump says a deal with Iran is largely negotiated, while Iran says obstacles remain and no agreement is imminent. Comcast is now selling YouTube TV to internet customers after losing more than 10 million TV subscribers. And thieves are allegedly using the “Screw Method” to keep gas pumps charging your card after you drive away. Subscribe to get The Snark Factor 3 in 3 every weekday. Sources: CBS News, Reuters, Cord Cutters News, Click2Houston. Thanks for reading! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit fingersmalloy.substack.com [https://fingersmalloy.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]

The Snark Factor 3 in 3 - Memorial Leadership Drywall

Audio is above. Memorial Day began as a day to remember America’s fallen service members, and somehow also became the official holiday of patio furniture discounts and arguing over whether a lawn mower counts as “patriotic.” Cory Booker says Democrats desperately need new leadership, which is bold because nothing says fresh start like the same people announcing that the party needs different people. Lowe’s says customers are backing away from big DIY projects, because apparently Americans have reached the point where even replacing a bathroom vanity feels like applying for a mortgage. If you’re listening regularly and haven’t subscribed yet, that’s how you get this every weekday. Sources: Associated Press, The Hill, TheStreet. Thanks for reading! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit fingersmalloy.substack.com [https://fingersmalloy.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]