# 84 Shame, Control, and the Healing You Keep Avoiding w/ Steph Ellen

# 84 Shame, Control, and the Healing You Keep Avoiding w/ Steph Ellen

If you have ever felt like you have tried everything and still cannot seem to shift, this episode is going to feel like a breath of fresh air. In this episode of Healing Conversations with Jessica Ella, Jesse sits down with Steph, equine vet turned Aaruka® practitioner, for an honest, warm and deeply insightful conversation about why so many people get stuck in surface-level healing, and what it  genuinely takes to go deeper. Steph shares her own unexpected journey into the healing world, from running ultramarathons and collecting modalities, to accidentally stumbling into her first Aaruka® session and discovering just how much her conscious mind had been protecting her from the real work. Her story will remind you that healing is not linear, and that the most transformative moments are often the ones you least expected. In this episode: * Why shame is the number one reason people try to heal themselves, and why it keeps them stuck * The "layover in Singapore" problem: dipping a toe into healing vs. truly immersing in it * Why high achievers fear that healing means losing their edge, and why the opposite is true * The unconscious belief driving the "everything's going to fall apart" resistance * Capacity to feel as capacity to live, and how trauma quietly shrinks both * Why the Aaruka® method works when other modalities haven't, and what makes it genuinely different * Real client results: from hyper-independence and burnout to presence, joy, and unexpected abundance You deserve to feel the difference. Come and listen. Want to go further? If Steph's story sounds a little like yours, and something in this episode made you think "I think I need this too," that feeling is worth paying attention to. You do not have to keep figuring this out alone. 1:1 Aaruka® Therapy sessions are open now, and we would love to support you on this journey. Find Steph here: https://www.instagram.com/findingflowstate?igsh=MXQ1dzVqYm5ic3d6aw== [https://www.instagram.com/findingflowstate?igsh=MXQ1dzVqYm5ic3d6aw==] And you can book 1:1 sessions with her here: https://www.jessicaella.com.au/1-1-work [https://www.jessicaella.com.au/1-1-work]

# 83 Why Do I Do That - Aaruka Therapy

If you have done the work, read the books, tried the therapies, and still feel like you keep healing the same thing over and over again, this episode will show you exactly why. Jessica breaks down what Aaruka Therapy actually is and why it produces results that other modalities on their own simply cannot. Not because those modalities are wrong, but because healing has four pillars: subconscious, somatic, nervous system, and energetics. Working on only one or two of them is why so many people plateau. She explains what happens when a belief shifts but the memory behind it hasn't been processed. Why the body continues to signal danger long after the mind has moved on. And why the most common approaches to healing keep practitioners and clients cycling through the same patterns without ever fully resolving them. Inside this episode: 👉🏼 Why you can shift a subconscious belief and still feel exactly the same a month later 👉🏼 How the body stores memory separately from the mind and why that is the piece most therapy misses 👉🏼 Why working on one pillar without the others keeps clients stuck in a cycle 👉🏼 What has to happen for a shift to actually last 👉🏼 Why scripts and structured protocols will always have a ceiling 👉🏼 What it feels like when all four pillars are worked on at the same time 👉🏼 Why one complete session can move more than years of single-modality work This episode is for the healer who knows something is missing and can't quite name it yet. And for anyone who is tired of doing the work and not seeing it hold. The podcast is completely ad-free. Subscribe, leave a review, and share this with someone who has been trying to heal the same wound for longer than they should have to. 🎧 Podcast Listener Offer Podcast listeners get 50% off Triggered to Thriving®. 👉🏼 https://www.jessicaella.com.au/offers/QV5G7Pov?coupon_code=T2T50 [https://www.jessicaella.com.au/offers/QV5G7Pov?coupon_code=T2T50]

#82 Why Do I Do That - Memory Processing

If you've been in therapy for years and still can't think about a certain memory without your body going into panic, this episode will change the way you understand why. In this episode of Healing Conversations, Jessica speaks openly about memory: what it actually is, why talking about it doesn't process it, and what has to happen in the brain and body for a traumatic memory to fully close. She also shares something deeply personal. There was a period in her life when an incorrectly processed memory sent her into full psychosis. When her nervous system was so overwhelmed it began pairing current panic with memories from the past, and she couldn't tell what was real anymore. It was one of the most frightening experiences of her life, and it taught her more about trauma and healing than anything she had ever studied. Inside this episode: 👉🏼 Why a therapist telling you not to go back into a memory is almost always about their gap, not your fragility 👉🏼 The difference between explicit and implicit memory, and why processing one without the other means nothing has actually healed 👉🏼 Why talking about a memory doesn't process it, and what actually does 👉🏼 How the state you're in when you access a memory can change the memory itself 👉🏼 Why your brain stacks unrelated triggers onto an open, unprocessed wound 👉🏼 Why it doesn't matter whether the memory is real or exactly true 👉🏼 How a correctly processed memory only ever needs to be worked on once This episode is for the woman who is exhausted from revisiting the same pain. And for the therapist, coach or healer who has hit a ceiling with complex trauma clients and knows something is missing. The podcast is completely ad-free. Subscribe, leave a review, and share this with someone who is still carrying something they were never taught how to put down. 🎧 Podcast Listener Offer Podcast listeners get 50% off Triggered to Thriving®. 👉🏼 https://www.jessicaella.com.au/offers/QV5G7Pov?coupon_code=T2T50 [https://www.jessicaella.com.au/offers/QV5G7Pov?coupon_code=T2T50]

# 81 Why Do Spiritual Healers Struggle to Charge for Their Work?

Do you feel guilty charging for your healing work? You're not broken and you're not alone. In this episode of Healing Conversations, Jessica Ella unpacks the real reason so many healers, coaches and therapists undercharge: it's not a pricing problem, it's a trauma pattern. Jessica shares her own experience building Aaruka® Therapy — the internal battle between wanting to give everything away and needing to build a business that actually sustains you and why charging for your work doesn't make you greedy, unspiritual, or less caring. In this episode you'll learn: → Why spiritual people often feel guilty charging for healing work → The trauma pattern behind overgiving and people-pleasing → The difference between aligned giving and "I should" giving → How childhood money beliefs block healers from earning well → Why "good people don't charge" is a wound, not a truth → Why free work often leads to no-shows and low commitment → How investing in healing helps clients show up more fully → Why the most spiritual thing you can do is sometimes charge someone This episode is for healers, coaches, therapists, spiritual women, trauma survivors and overgivers who feel torn between wanting to help everyone… and needing a business that actually holds them. If you've ever felt guilty for charging, scared of being seen as greedy, or worried that making money makes you less spiritual, this episode will hit home. Free, ad-free, always. Subscribe, leave a review, and share with a healer who needs this. 🎁 Podcast listener offer: 50% off Triggered to Thriving® → https://www.jessicaella.com.au/offers/QV5G7Pov?coupon_code=T2T50 [https://www.jessicaella.com.au/offers/QV5G7Pov?coupon_code=T2T50]

# 80 Why Dating Is Easier Than Ever… And Harder Than Ever

Why Dating Feels Harder Than Ever | Trauma, Attachment Styles & Modern Dating In this episode of The Jessica Ella Podcast, Jessica breaks down why dating is easier than ever… but somehow feels harder than ever. With dating apps, endless options, and constant access to people, you’d think finding love would be simple. But instead, we’re seeing more ghosting, more confusion, more rejection, and more emotional triggers than ever before. Jessica shares her personal experience navigating dating after a 12-year relationship, and explains how trauma, attachment styles, self-worth, and subconscious patterns are shaping the way we date. Inside this episode: 👉🏼 why dating apps are creating overwhelm and decision paralysis 👉🏼 anxious attachment, avoidant patterns, and emotional triggers 👉🏼 why you keep attracting the wrong people 👉🏼 how rejection wounds show up in dating 👉🏼 the truth about “abundance dating” 👉🏼 why honesty about what you want changes everything 👉🏼 how to stop repeating toxic relationship patterns This episode is for women who are ready to stop chasing, stop settling, and start dating from self-worth instead of wounds. The podcast is completely ad-free. Subscribe, leave a review, and share this with someone navigating modern dating. 🎧 Podcast Listener Offer Ready to stop repeating patterns in love and actually heal at the root? Get 50% off Triggered to Thriving® (T2T) as a listener. 👉🏼 https://www.jessicaella.com.au/offers/QV5G7Pov?coupon_code=T2T50 [ https://www.jessicaella.com.au/offers/QV5G7Pov?coupon_code=T2T50]