The World According to Jen & Carolyn

Caught on Camera: Cheaters, Surveillance, and the Spectacle of Betrayal

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/1966216/fan_mail/new] If you’ve been listening to this podcast for a while, you know we usually live in the deep end of… everything. Politics, policy, democracy on fire, institutions crumbling—you know, light, breezy stuff. And look—we’re not abandoning that. The world is still doing whatever this is. But every once in a while, for our own sanity—and frankly, yours—we need a break. Not a “head in the sand” break. More like a “let’s examine something chaotic, ridiculous, and deeply revealing… but also kind of funny” break. Because sometimes the best way to understand society… is to watch people sprint across a parking lot while being chased by a camera crew.  Cheaters and the sinister normalisation of our surveillance society | Naomi Wolf | The Guardian [https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2012/nov/26/cheaters-sinister-normalisation-surveillance-society?utm_source=chatgpt.com] Cheaters host Joey Greco’s stabbing was staged, paid actor says [https://www.realityblurred.com/realitytv/2009/11/other-shows-cheaters_staged/?utm_source=chatgpt.com] This Wild 2000s Reality Show Allegedly Faked a Stabbing [https://collider.com/cheaters-reality-show-stabbing/?utm_source=chatgpt.com] With Joey Greco of 'Cheaters' - Los Angeles Times [https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-2009-dec-13-la-ca-conversation13-2009dec13-story.html?utm_source=chatgpt.com] Atkins, D. C., Baucom, D. H., & Jacobson, N. S. (2001). Understanding infidelity: Correlates in a national sample. Journal of Family Psychology, 15(4), 735–749.  [https://doi.org/10.1037/0893-3200.15.4.735] Brown, B. (2006). Shame resilience theory: A grounded theory study on women and shame. Families in Society: The Journal of Contemporary Social Services, 87(1), 43–52.  [https://doi.org/10.1606/1044-3894.3483] Coyle, P., Van Doorn, G., Teese, R., & Dye, J. (2025). Adverse childhood experiences and infidelity: The mediating roles of anxious and avoidant attachment styles. Family Process. ⚑ verify publication date Festinger, L. (1954). A theory of social comparison processes. Human Relations, 7(2), 117–140.  [https://doi.org/10.1177/001872675400700202] Freyd, J. J. (1996). Betrayal trauma: The logic of forgetting childhood abuse. Harvard University Press. Ghiasi, N., Rasoal, D., Haseli, A., & Feli, R. (2023). The interplay of attachment styles and marital infidelity: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Heliyon, 10(1), e23261.  [https://doi.org/10.1016/j.heliyon.2023.e23261] Glass, S. P., & Staeheli, J. C. (2003). Not just friends: Protect your relationship from infidelity and heal the trauma of betrayal. Free Press. Gordon, K. C., Baucom, D. H., & Snyder, D. K. (2004). An integrative intervention for promoting recovery from extramarital affairs. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 30(2), 213–231.  [https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1752-0606.2004.tb01235.x] Gottman, J. M. (2011). The science of trust: Emotional attunement for couples. W. W. Norton & Company. Gottman, J. M., & Silver, N. (2012). What makes love last? How to build trust and avoid betrayal. Simon & Schuster. Knopp, K., Scott, S., Ritchie, L., Rhoades, G. K., Markman, H. J., & Stanley, S. M. (2017). Once a cheater, always a cheater? Serial infidelity across subsequent relationships. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 46(8), 2301–2311 Marín, R. A., Christensen, A., & Atkins, D. C. (2014). Infidelity and behavioral couple therapy: Relationship outcomes over 5 years following therapy. Couple and Family Psychology: Research and Practice, 3(1), 1–12. Ortman, D. C. (n.d.). Transcending post-infidelity stress disorder (PISD): The six stages of healing. ⚑ verify full title, publisher, and publication year Perel, E. (2017). The state of affairs: Rethinking infidelity. Harper Collins. Real, T. (1997). I don't want to talk about it: Overcoming the secret legacy of male depression. Scribner. Real, T. (2022). Us: Getting past you and me to build a more loving relationship. Rodale Books. Tangney, J. P., Stuewig, J., Mashek, D., & Hastings, M. (2011). Assessing jail inmates' proneness to shame and guilt: Feeling bad about the behavior or the self? Criminal Justice and Behavior, 38(7), 710–734.  [https://doi.org/10.1177/0093854811405762]

Conspiracies Gone Wild: Lizard People, QAnon, and the Psychology of Belief

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/1966216/fan_mail/new] Today’s episode is… unhinged. Truly. We are diving into some of the wildest conspiracies on the internet—Lizard people. Secret cabals. Pizza-based espionage, and the sprawling universe of QAnon. But we’re not just laughing at them. We’re asking: Why do people believe this? What’s happening psychologically, socially, historically…and what does it say about us as a society?

The Myth of the Wave: Feminism, Who Got Left Out, and the Urgent Return to Matriarchy

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/1966216/fan_mail/new] Happy belated Women’s History Month! Every wave of feminism promised liberation — so why did it keep leaving the same women behind? The feminist waves we were taught to celebrate were not failures of reach — they were strategic choices to maintain proximity to patriarchal power. That choice required the consistent sacrifice of women of color, queer and trans women, and working-class women. The 1990s cultural moment — Lilith Fair, 'girl power,' the rise of the female pop star — looked like matriarchy but was bounded by whiteness, industry gatekeeping, and commercial co-option. That same decade laid the groundwork for the industrial-scale exploitation of young women in entertainment. True return to matriarchy is not nostalgia. It is restoration of what colonialism and patriarchy actively destroyed: communal, non-hierarchical governance led by the women who were here first. DiAngelo, R. (2018). White fragility: Why it's so hard for white people to talk about racism. Beacon Press. Fanon, F. (1963). The wretched of the earth (C. Farrington, Trans.). Grove Press. (Original work published 1961) Freyd, J. J. (1994). Betrayal trauma: Traumatic amnesia as an adaptive response to childhood abuse. Ethics & Behavior, 4(4), 307–329. Freyd, J. J., & Birrell, P. J. (2013). Blind to betrayal: Why we fool ourselves we aren't being fooled. Wiley. Gunn Allen, P. (1986). The sacred hoop: Recovering the feminine in American Indian traditions. Beacon Press. Jost, J. T., & Banaji, M. R. (1994). The role of stereotyping in system-justification and the production of false consciousness. British Journal of Social Psychology, 33(1), 1–27. Jost, J. T., Burgess, D., & Mosso, C. O. (2001). Conflicts of legitimation among self, group, and system: The integrative potential of system justification theory. In J. T. Jost & B. Major (Eds.), The psychology of legitimacy (pp. 363–388). Cambridge University Press. Porges, S. W. (2011). The polyvagal theory: Neurophysiological foundations of emotions, attachment, communication, and self-regulation. Norton. Raymond, J. G. (1979). The transsexual empire: The making of the she-male. Beacon Press. Siegel, D. J. (2015). Brainstorm: The power and purpose of the teenage brain. TarcherPerigee. Temple, S. (1988). Child star: An autobiography. McGraw-Hill. Wells-Barnett, I. B. (1970). Crusade for justice: The autobiography of Ida B. Wells (A. Duster, Ed.). University of Chicago Press.

The Lonely Path to Violence — Understanding the Loneliness Epidemic and Political Radicalization

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/1966216/fan_mail/new] Today, Jen & Carolyn are diving into something that is often framed as a private pain but may actually be one of the most significant public health and political threats of our time: loneliness. And not loneliness as a vibe. Not “I wish I had brunch plans.” We’re talking about chronic social isolation — the kind that alters brain chemistry, distorts threat perception, and erodes a person’s sense of meaning and belonging. Because when we look at patterns of sexual violence, mass shootings, and certain forms of political extremism, we repeatedly see a profile emerge — socially isolated men, often young, often experiencing status loss, romantic rejection, economic precarity, or humiliation.  * Cacioppo & Patrick, "Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection" (2008); Cacioppo et al., social neuroscience research *  Kruglanski et al. (2014), "The Psychology of Radicalization and Deradicalization"; Journal of Social Issues *  Survey Center on American Life, "The State of American Friendship" (2021); Hammarström & Janlert on male social networks * Moonshot CVE research; FBI's work on domestic terrorism; Windisch et al. on disengagement from extremism * Surgeon General Advisory on Loneliness & Isolation (2023) — Vivek Murthy * WHO Commission on Social Connection (2023) * Cacioppo & Hawkley — loneliness and threat hypervigilance * Kruglanski's 3N Model / Significance Quest Theory * Survey Center on American Life (2021) — male friendship recession * Moonshot CVE / ISD Global — online radicalization research * Thomas Joiner's Interpersonal Theory of Suicide — also relevant, given overlap between suicidality and radicalization risk in this population * bell hooks, "The Will to Change" — on how patriarchy wounds men and primes them for violence (strong decolonized feminist frame)

Power, Bodies, and Blood: When Politicians Kill

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/1966216/fan_mail/new] We tend to talk about violence in politics as something abstract. Policy violence. Structural violence. Metaphorical violence. But today, Jen & Carolyn are talking about literal violence. As in: people who ran for office, held office, advised presidents, or built political movements-and also murdered people. And what’s disturbing isn’t just that it happened—but how often power delayed consequences, softened accountability, or made people look the other way. This episode is about what happens when political entitlement meets the belief that some lives simply don’t matter. And spoiler: it’s not rare, it’s not partisan, and it’s not ancient history. Bandura, A. (1999). Moral disengagement in the perpetration of inhumanities. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 3(3), 193–209. https://doi.org/10.1207/s15327957pspr0303_3 [https://doi.org/10.1207/s15327957pspr0303_3] Blee, K. M. (2002). Inside organized racism: Women in the hate movement. University of California Press. Freyd, J. J. (1996). Betrayal trauma: The logic of forgetting childhood abuse. Harvard University Press. Freyd, J. J., & Birrell, P. J. (2013). Blind to betrayal: Why we fool ourselves we aren't being fooled. Wiley. Fromm, E. (1964). The heart of man: Its genius for good and evil. Harper & Row. Horgan, J. (2008). From profiles to pathways and roots to routes: Perspectives from psychology on radicalization into terrorism. The ANNALS of the American Academy of Political and Social Science, 618(1), 80–94. https://doi.org/10.1177/0002716208317539 [https://doi.org/10.1177/0002716208317539] Jost, J. T., Banaji, M. R., & Nosek, B. A. (2004). A decade of system justification theory: Accumulated evidence of conscious and unconscious bolstering of the status quo. Political Psychology, 25(6), 881–919. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-9221.2004.00402.x [https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-9221.2004.00402.x] Kernberg, O. F. (1984). Severe personality disorders: Psychotherapeutic strategies. Yale University Press. McCann, I. L., & Pearlman, L. A. (1990). Vicarious traumatization: A framework for understanding the psychological effects of working with victims. Journal of Traumatic Stress, 3(1), 131–149. https://doi.org/10.1007/BF00975140 [https://doi.org/10.1007/BF00975140] Müller, K., & Schwarz, C. (2021). Fanning the flames of hate: Social media and hate crime. Journal of the European Economic Association, 19(4), 2131–2167. https://doi.org/10.1093/jeea/jvaa045 [https://doi.org/10.1093/jeea/jvaa045] Porges, S. W. (2011). The polyvagal theory: Neurophysiological foundations of emotions, attachment, communication, and self-regulation. W. W. Norton. Ridgeway, C. L. (2001). Gender, status, and leadership. Journal of Social Issues, 57(4), 637–655. https://doi.org/10.1111/0022-4537.00233 [https://doi.org/10.1111/0022-4537.00233] Watts, A. L., Lilienfeld, S. O., Smith, S. F., Miller, J. D., Campbell, W. K., Waldman, I. D., Rubenzer, S. J., & Fabian, T. J. (2013). The double-edged sword of grandiose narcissism: Implications for successful and unsuccessful leadership among U.S. presidents. Psychological Science, 24(12), 2379–2389. https://doi.org/10.1177/0956797613491970 [https://doi.org/10.1177/0956797613491970]