This Was Always Me

Being Kavana: Anthony Kavanagh on the cost of hiding his sexuality in the 90s pop industry

Anthony Kavanagh speaks to Rich Clarke about the hidden cost of becoming Kavana - a 90s pop star forced to hide his sexuality in an industry where being openly gay felt impossible. From knowing he was gay at 10 to creating a public persona that masked his truth, Anthony reflects on how years of secrecy and self-denial fed a spiral of anxiety, shame, and addiction. This is a conversation about fame, identity, addiction, and the long journey back to self-acceptance. Anthony’s memoir Pop Scars [https://www.amazon.co.uk/Pop-Scars-memoir-fame-addiction/dp/B0DX2GZMRN] is out now. 📱 Follow us on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/alwaysmepodcast/] and TikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/@alwaysmepodcast?_t=ZN-8wjnbm7WMha&_r=1]: @alwaysmepodcast 💬 To share your story, email: alwaysme@global.com SUPPORT SERVICES LGBTQ+ Support Switchboard – LGBTQ+ Helpline • A confidential helpline for LGBTQ+ people to talk about sexuality, gender identity, and more. • Phone: 0800 0119 100 • Website: switchboard.lgbt [https://switchboard.lgbt/] Stonewall • Offers support and resources for LGBTQ+ individuals and their families. • Website: stonewall.org.uk [https://stonewall.org.uk/] Open Table Network • Phone: 07501753618 • Website: opentable.lgbt [https://opentable.lgbt/] Mental Health & Suicide Prevention Samaritans • For anyone in distress, struggling to cope, or at risk of suicide. • Phone: 116 123 (Free, 24/7) • Website: samaritans.org [https://samaritans.org/] Mind • Provides advice and support for anyone experiencing a mental health problem. • Phone: 0300 123 3393 • Website: mind.org.uk [https://mind.org.uk/] PAPYRUS – Prevention of Young Suicide • Support for people under 35 experiencing suicidal thoughts, and for those concerned about someone else. • Phone: 0800 068 41 41 • Website: papyrus-uk.org [https://papyrus-uk.org/] Shout • A free, confidential mental health text support service. • Text: SHOUT to 85258 (24/7, free text service) • Website: giveusashout.org [https://giveusashout.org/] Alcohol support NHS Alcohol support • Information about alcohol addiction & where to get support • Website: nhs.uk/live-well/alcohol-advice/alcohol-support [https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/alcohol-advice/alcohol-support/]

Always There, Never Named: Julie Cohen on embracing her bisexuality in mid-life

Bestselling author Julie Cohen speaks to Rich Clarke about coming out as bisexual in her forties, after more than two decades of marriage and a lifetime of quiet questioning. She reflects on growing up in small-town Maine without the language to understand her feelings, the imposter syndrome that shaped her early experiences of queerness, and how writing became a way to explore the truths she hadn’t yet spoken aloud. Now living openly, Julie talks about the joy and relief of embracing her identity, and the freedom that came with finally being seen. Her new thriller, Body Count [https://amzn.eu/d/0UFFlYH], is out on 14th August. 📱 Follow us on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/alwaysmepodcast/] and TikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/@alwaysmepodcast?_t=ZN-8wjnbm7WMha&_r=1]: @alwaysmepodcast 💬 To share your story, email: alwaysme@global.com SUPPORT SERVICES LGBTQ+ Support Switchboard – LGBTQ+ Helpline • A confidential helpline for LGBTQ+ people to talk about sexuality, gender identity, and more. • Phone: 0800 0119 100 • Website: switchboard.lgbt [https://switchboard.lgbt/] Stonewall • Offers support and resources for LGBTQ+ individuals and their families. • Website: stonewall.org.uk [https://stonewall.org.uk/] Open Table Network • Phone: 07501753618 • Website: opentable.lgbt [https://opentable.lgbt/] Mental Health & Suicide Prevention Samaritans • For anyone in distress, struggling to cope, or at risk of suicide. • Phone: 116 123 (Free, 24/7) • Website: samaritans.org [https://samaritans.org/] Mind • Provides advice and support for anyone experiencing a mental health problem. • Phone: 0300 123 3393 • Website: mind.org.uk [https://mind.org.uk/] PAPYRUS – Prevention of Young Suicide • Support for people under 35 experiencing suicidal thoughts, and for those concerned about someone else. • Phone: 0800 068 41 41 • Website: papyrus-uk.org [https://papyrus-uk.org/] Shout • A free, confidential mental health text support service. • Text: SHOUT to 85258 (24/7, free text service) • Website: giveusashout.org [https://giveusashout.org/]

'They Put Me In A Closet & Beat Me': Zarith on his journey to safety & freedom in the UK

Zarith speaks to Rich Clarke about surviving violence, secrecy, and state-sanctioned homophobia... and the long road to finding safety in the UK. Raised in South East Asia, Zarith always knew he was different. But silence felt like the only option in a country where being gay was illegal and the AIDS crisis fuelled fear and stigma. At his elite Islamic boarding school, he was outed, assaulted, and blackmailed by fellow students. Even then, he hid the truth to protect himself and his family. Years later, as a journalist, he exposed political corruption, putting himself in even greater danger. After a close friend and fellow gay journalist was kidnapped and killed, Zarith fled. He now calls the UK home, having rebuilt his life through the asylum system.... and finally, lives freely. 📱 Follow us on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/alwaysmepodcast/] and TikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/@alwaysmepodcast?_t=ZN-8wjnbm7WMha&_r=1]: @alwaysmepodcast 💬 To share your story, email: alwaysme@global.com SUPPORT SERVICES LGBTQ+ Support Switchboard – LGBTQ+ Helpline • A confidential helpline for LGBTQ+ people to talk about sexuality, gender identity, and more. • Phone: 0800 0119 100 • Website: switchboard.lgbt [https://switchboard.lgbt/] Stonewall • Offers support and resources for LGBTQ+ individuals and their families. • Website: stonewall.org.uk [https://stonewall.org.uk/] Open Table Network • Phone: 07501753618 • Website: opentable.lgbt [https://opentable.lgbt/] Mental Health & Suicide Prevention Samaritans • For anyone in distress, struggling to cope, or at risk of suicide. • Phone: 116 123 (Free, 24/7) • Website: samaritans.org [https://samaritans.org/] Mind • Provides advice and support for anyone experiencing a mental health problem. • Phone: 0300 123 3393 • Website: mind.org.uk [https://mind.org.uk/] PAPYRUS – Prevention of Young Suicide • Support for people under 35 experiencing suicidal thoughts, and for those concerned about someone else. • Phone: 0800 068 41 41 • Website: papyrus-uk.org [https://papyrus-uk.org/] Shout • A free, confidential mental health text support service. • Text: SHOUT to 85258 (24/7, free text service) • Website: giveusashout.org [https://giveusashout.org/]

Choosing the ‘Normal’ Life: Al on coming out after marriage, fatherhood & grief

Al speaks to Rich Clarke about growing up feeling different. Not just because he was gay, but because he was half Chinese in a mostly white school, where he was bullied and made to feel like an outsider. In the shadow of the AIDS crisis, with strict parents and no one to turn to, Al stayed silent. He chose what felt like the “normal” life: marriage, children, and hiding who he really was. It wasn’t until his 40s, after the death of his mum and a mental health crisis, that Al found the courage to come out and begin again. 📱 Follow us on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/alwaysmepodcast/] and TikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/@alwaysmepodcast?_t=ZN-8wjnbm7WMha&_r=1]: @alwaysmepodcast 💬 To share your story, email: alwaysme@global.com SUPPORT SERVICES LGBTQ+ Support Switchboard – LGBTQ+ Helpline • A confidential helpline for LGBTQ+ people to talk about sexuality, gender identity, and more. • Phone: 0800 0119 100 • Website: switchboard.lgbt [https://switchboard.lgbt/] Stonewall • Offers support and resources for LGBTQ+ individuals and their families. • Website: stonewall.org.uk [https://stonewall.org.uk/] Open Table Network • Phone: 07501753618 • Website: opentable.lgbt [https://opentable.lgbt/] Mental Health & Suicide Prevention Samaritans • For anyone in distress, struggling to cope, or at risk of suicide. • Phone: 116 123 (Free, 24/7) • Website: samaritans.org [https://samaritans.org/] Mind • Provides advice and support for anyone experiencing a mental health problem. • Phone: 0300 123 3393 • Website: mind.org.uk [https://mind.org.uk/] PAPYRUS – Prevention of Young Suicide • Support for people under 35 experiencing suicidal thoughts, and for those concerned about someone else. • Phone: 0800 068 41 41 • Website: papyrus-uk.org [https://papyrus-uk.org/] Shout • A free, confidential mental health text support service. • Text: SHOUT to 85258 (24/7, free text service) • Website: giveusashout.org [https://giveusashout.org/]

Hiding Behind the Uniform: Retired Met officer Josi Clay on coming out as a trans woman

Josi Clay always knew she was different. But growing up in the 1950s, there were no words for how she felt - only the fear that telling anyone could destroy her future. So she stayed silent. At 19, Josi joined the Met Police. For 47 years, she served as a respected officer rising through the ranks and hiding a truth that could have ended her career. By the time she was 60, she was living as a woman in every part of her life… except at work. Josi speaks to Rich Clarke about identity, resilience, and what it means to finally be seen. 📱 Follow us on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/alwaysmepodcast/] and TikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/@alwaysmepodcast?_t=ZN-8wjnbm7WMha&_r=1]: @alwaysmepodcast 💬 To share your story, email: alwaysme@global.com SUPPORT SERVICES LGBTQ+ Support Switchboard – LGBTQ+ Helpline • A confidential helpline for LGBTQ+ people to talk about sexuality, gender identity, and more. • Phone: 0800 0119 100 • Website: switchboard.lgbt [https://switchboard.lgbt/] Stonewall • Offers support and resources for LGBTQ+ individuals and their families. • Website: stonewall.org.uk [https://stonewall.org.uk/] Open Table Network • Phone: 07501753618 • Website: opentable.lgbt [https://opentable.lgbt/] Mental Health & Suicide Prevention Samaritans • For anyone in distress, struggling to cope, or at risk of suicide. • Phone: 116 123 (Free, 24/7) • Website: samaritans.org [https://samaritans.org/] Mind • Provides advice and support for anyone experiencing a mental health problem. • Phone: 0300 123 3393 • Website: mind.org.uk [https://mind.org.uk/] PAPYRUS – Prevention of Young Suicide • Support for people under 35 experiencing suicidal thoughts, and for those concerned about someone else. •Phone: 0800 068 41 41 • Website: papyrus-uk.org [https://papyrus-uk.org/] Shout •A free, confidential mental health text support service. • Text: SHOUT to 85258 (24/7, free text service) • Website: giveusashout.org [https://giveusashout.org/]