Today's Review of Assorted Cinema

Episode 38: 300

Is that the smell of blood, sweat and air-brushed abs I sense? That must be a sign of todays film: “300!” This purist adaptation of a comic book barely based on reality follows King Leonidas and his 300 gay but also straight Spartan warriors. They must stand as one, and push against the invading King Xerxes and his horde of reject Power Rangers villains. Did you know if you play the slo mo parts at 2 times speed, the movie is only an hour long? Tricked you! I actually made that up. Just like Frank Miller made up this bullshit comic! You think this is madness? THIS. IS. THE TRAC-CAST!! Trevor Gregory: Host, Producer Ryan Wagner: Host, Editor Aref Aboud: Host, Producer Christian Starck: Host, Writer Socials: Gmail: traccastpod@gmail.com [traccastpod@gmail.com] YouTube: @TRAC_Cast Instagram: @trac_cast Letterboxd: TheTRACcast

Episode 37: Asteroid City

Simmer your expectations cause we’re kicking off our new “Lap Around the TRAC” with Ryan’s theme: “Overhyped!” And what better way to start us off than the “Prince of Annoying Film Nerds” himself: It’s Wes Anderson’s “Asteroid City!” Told from the perspective of a fictional play, the story follows recently widowed Auggie SteamDeck, who arrives in the title town with his four children before being quarantined after the sudden arrival of an alien. The story flips back and forth between a cavalcade of quirky Anderson stereotypes and a black-and-white meta commentary on the state of film itself. Was this meteorite misadventure a malady? Or were audiences just not ready for it yet? Let’s figure out why Auggie burned his hand on the Quickie Griddle and serve up a piping hot new episode! Trevor Gregory: Host, Producer Ryan Wagner: Host, Editor Aref Aboud: Host, Producer Christian Starck: Host, Writer Socials: Gmail: traccastpod@gmail.com [traccastpod@gmail.com] YouTube: @TRAC_Cast Instagram: @trac_cast Letterboxd: TheTRACcast

Episode 36: Xanadu

Bust out those roller skates and your worst neon spandex outfits cause you’re in Xanadu now, motherfucker! Struggling artist and hater of work, Sonny Malone is visited by the Greek muse, Kira, who inspires him to follow his creative dreams by building Xanadu, a coke-fueled fever dream disco club where the theme changes every 3 minutes. Watch as Sonny and Kira fall in love because the plot demands it! Be amazed by how a 67 year old Gene Kelly can carry this film on his little tap dancing feet. Man who cares if this shit makes no sense. Turn up the ELO already and Don’t Walk Away from the Magic Trevor Gregory: Host, Producer Ryan Wagner: Host, Editor Aref Aboud: Host, Producer Christian Starck: Host, Writer Socials: Gmail: traccastpod@gmail.com [traccastpod@gmail.com] YouTube: @TRAC_Cast Instagram: @trac_cast Letterboxd: TheTRACcast

Episode 35: Batman & Robin

Holy Kevlar Codpieces, Batman! We’re taking it back to 1997 with today’s film: Batman and Robin! This legendary failure from legendary director Joel Shumacher follows our titular heroes against dangerous new foes. The cold-hearted Mr Freeze, (who looks more like a Fury Road reject who got crammed into a cold press juicer), as well as the alluring Poison Ivy, (the only person in this movie who can act.) Oh and Bane is there too… I guess. The dynamic duo must do battle against these foes while managing to find the cure for the mysterious illness that Alfred is pretending to have to get out of this movie. Oh and Batgirl is there too… I guess. Will our heroes prevail and save Gotham? Will Mr Freeze go one minute without making ice puns? Will we max out our Bat Credit Cards? Trevor Gregory: Host, Producer Ryan Wagner: Host, Editor Aref Aboud: Host, Producer Christian Starck: Host, Writer Socials: Gmail: traccastpod@gmail.com [traccastpod@gmail.com] YouTube: @TRAC_Cast Instagram: @trac_cast Letterboxd: TheTRACcast

Episode 34: Signs

In todays film, M. Night Shyamalan answers the question of are we alone in the universe by way of crop circles, dusty water, and weird Army recruiters in “Signs!” Retired priest Graham Hess grapples with his faith and patience as visitors from the stars play annoying pranks on him and his family like flattening his corn and running around on his roof in the middle of the night. This alien invasion flick does the unthinkable and instead of highlighting the aliens, focuses on a mopey Mel Gibson and his weird family who must rely on faith in one another and a growing collection of water glasses to survive. Was “Signs” a hit? Or was it a swing and a miss like Merrill Hess’ baseball career? Trevor Gregory: Host, Producer Ryan Wagner: Host, Editor Aref Aboud: Host, Producer Christian Starck: Host, Writer Socials: Gmail: traccastpod@gmail.com [traccastpod@gmail.com] YouTube: @TRAC_Cast Instagram: @trac_cast Letterboxd: TheTRACcast