Unraveling Me

S1E29 Unraveling Monica H

S1 E 29 Unraveling Monica H Monica was adopted as an infant and raised in Alaska rough-and-tumble 1970s oil boom in a home where much was left unbroken. From early on, she learned to navigate instability, dysfunction, and sexual, emotional, and physical abuse – without the language or support to make sense of it. At 15 after experiencing a sexual assault, Monica became pregnant and was pressured to relinquish her daughter. That loss followed her everywhere, shaping how she understood herself, her relationships, and her place in the world. And then she did the work to understand what happened, reclaim her story, and begin choosing herself. (CONTENT WARNING: THIS EPISODE CONTAINS DISCUSSION OF CHILD ABUSE, SEXUAL ABUSE, AND SEXUAL ASSAULT.) SHOW NOTES In this conversation, Kara and Monica discuss: * Growing up adopted and navigating identity without clear roots * A home shaped by dysfunction, addiction, and silence * Discovering her Métis identity * The lasting impact of that loss across her life * The emotional complexity of reunion with her genetic family as well as with her daughter * Boundaries, self-worth, and learning to choose herself Monica shares her story with directness and honesty, naming both what she lived through and what it has taken to keep going. There are no easy resolutions—just the reality of carrying loss, making meaning of it, and continuing forward. Everyone has the right to know the truth about where they come from. Unraveling Me speaks to those people impacted by DNA surprises, NPEs (non-paternal event), adoption, assisted reproduction, and other revelations that their parentage isn't entirely what they thought. Having experienced an NPE herself, Kara (through Right To Know and this podcast) seeks to highlight those moments when we learn the most unsettling of secret—who we really are. At Right To Know, we encourage engagement to facilitate and create real change. As an organization, we are inclusive. We assist adoptees, the donor-conceived community, people with an NPE, birth parents, gamete providers, new genetic family, recipient parents, raising families, and significant others. In learning and growing from each other, we must put the voices of adoptees, donor conceived, and people with an NPE first. For more information about Right To Know - or if you have a story you want to tell - please visit us at https://righttoknow.us/ [https://righttoknow.us/]. ---------------------------------------- Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy [https://acast.com/privacy] for more information.

S1E28 Unraveling Maria

S1 E28 Unraveling Maria In this wide-ranging and deeply insightful conversation, Kara and Maria explore what happens when personal discovery intersects with law, ethics, culture, and belonging. Maria was 53 years old, standing in her kitchen, when a DNA test result upended everything she thought she knew about her identity. Raised in a deeply Catholic family, with a Filipino immigrant mother and an Irish American father, Maria’s life had always felt coherent, until a test revealed she was half Ashkenazi Jewish. SHOW NOTES Kara and Maria discuss: * Receiving unexpected DNA results and the immediate unraveling that followed * Confronting parental secrecy and navigating a mother unwilling to engage * The search for, and eventual relationship with, her genetic father * How late discovery reshapes identity, faith, and cultural belonging * The legal and ethical risks of consumer DNA testing, including privacy and insurance concerns * Misattributed parentage and the broader policy gaps affecting NPEs, adoptees, and donor-conceived people * Sobriety, trauma, and the importance of support when facing life-altering truths * The tension between truth-telling and protecting family secrets Maria brings both personal vulnerability and professional insight as an attorney, offering a perspective that goes beyond individual story into systemic impact. Her experience led her to write Before and After the DNA Test, a comprehensive guide to the legal, medical, and ethical realities many people never consider before “spitting in a tube.” Everyone has the right to know the truth about where they come from. Unraveling Me speaks to those people impacted by DNA surprises, NPEs (non-paternal event), adoption, assisted reproduction, and other revelations that their parentage isn't entirely what they thought. Having experienced an NPE herself, Kara (through Right To Know and this podcast) seeks to highlight those moments when we learn the most unsettling of secret—who we really are. At Right To Know, we encourage engagement to facilitate and create real change. As an organization, we are inclusive. We assist adoptees, the donor-conceived community, people with an NPE, birth parents, gamete providers, new genetic family, recipient parents, raising families, and significant others. In learning and growing from each other, we must put the voices of adoptees, donor conceived, and people with an NPE first. For more information about Right To Know - or if you have a story you want to tell - please visit us at https://righttoknow.us/ [https://righttoknow.us/]. ---------------------------------------- Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy [https://acast.com/privacy] for more information.

S1E27 Unraveling Aaron & Jess

S1 E27 Unraveling Aaron & Jess In this thoughtful and often funny conversation, Kara, Aaron, and Jess explore what happened when a long-abstract donor relationship became real—and how that reality slowly reshaped all of their lives. What begins as a donor-conception story becomes something much more unexpected: a conversation about the many ways family can take shape. Years after choosing an unknown donor because it felt like the safest legal and emotional choice, Jess’s daughter took a DNA test to learn more about her ancestry and found Aaron right away. What followed was not just a new connection for a donor-conceived child, but the beginning of an evolving relationship between two adults trying to navigate unfamiliar terrain with care, curiosity, and respect. SHOW NOTES Kara, Aaron, and Jess discuss: * Why choose an unknown donor in the first place * What donor conception looked like in the early 2000s, before photos, social media, and widespread DNA testing * Aaron’s decision to take a DNA test * A child’s experience of donor discovery when the truth was never hidden * How Jess and Aaron built trust while following her daughter’s lead * The emotional complexity of genetics, parenting, and belonging This episode challenges old assumptions about what makes a parent, what makes a family, and how connection can grow when honesty is there from the beginning. Aaron and Jess show that while genetics matter, relationships matter too, and neither has to cancel out the other. Their story is a reminder that sometimes the families we build do not fit familiar templates, but can still be rooted in care, respect, and love. Everyone has the right to know the truth about where they come from. Unraveling Me speaks to those people impacted by DNA surprises, NPEs (non-paternal event), adoption, assisted reproduction, and other revelations that their parentage isn't entirely what they thought. Having experienced an NPE herself, Kara (through Right To Know and this podcast) seeks to highlight those moments when we learn the most unsettling of secret—who we really are. At Right To Know, we encourage engagement to facilitate and create real change. As an organization, we are inclusive. We assist adoptees, the donor-conceived community, people with an NPE, birth parents, gamete providers, new genetic family, recipient parents, raising families, and significant others. In learning and growing from each other, we must put the voices of adoptees, donor conceived, and people with an NPE first. For more information about Right To Know - or if you have a story you want to tell - please visit us at https://righttoknow.us/ [https://righttoknow.us/]. ---------------------------------------- Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy [https://acast.com/privacy] for more information.

S1E26 Unraveling Amanda

S1 E25 - Unraveling Amanda - Amanda speaks with honesty, perspective, and compassion—for herself, her parents, and the complexity of the choices made long before she had a voice in them. In this thoughtful and deeply reflective conversation, Kara and Amanda explore what it means to carry a truth for years, sometimes quietly, sometimes in pieces, and what it takes to finally live openly inside it. Amanda’s story begins before DNA testing was widely available. At 20 years old, when her father asked her to take a paternity test and quietly revealed he had always had doubts about her paternity. What followed was not just a confirmation of truth, but the beginning of a decades-long journey through identity, secrecy, connection, and ultimately, self-acceptance. SHOW NOTES Kara and Amanda discuss: * Discovering the truth before the era of direct-to-consumer DNA testing * How honesty strengthened her relationship with her raising father * Confronting parental secrecy, shame, and long-held silence * Searching for, and ultimately connecting with, her genetic father * Navigating expanded family dynamics, including siblings and stepfamily * The emotional toll of living “two lives” and the turning point toward openness * Grief not just for loss, but for lost time and missed opportunities Amanda's story reminds us that The Truth doesn’t always arrive all at once. Sometimes it unfolds over years. Finding the courage to live openly within it can be its own kind of healing. Everyone has the right to know the truth about where they come from. Unraveling Me speaks to those people impacted by DNA surprises, NPEs (non-paternal event), adoption, assisted reproduction, and other revelations that their parentage isn't entirely what they thought. Having experienced an NPE herself, Kara (through Right To Know and this podcast) seeks to highlight those moments when we learn the most unsettling of secret—who we really are. At Right To Know, we encourage engagement to facilitate and create real change. As an organization, we are inclusive. We assist adoptees, the donor-conceived community, people with an NPE, birth parents, gamete providers, new genetic family, recipient parents, raising families, and significant others. In learning and growing from each other, we must put the voices of adoptees, donor conceived, and people with an NPE first. For more information about Right To Know - or if you have a story you want to tell - please visit us at https://righttoknow.us/ [https://righttoknow.us/]. ---------------------------------------- Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy [https://acast.com/privacy] for more information.

S1E25 Unraveling Lisa

S1 E25 - Unraveling Lisa - Lisa took a DNA test out of curiosity: something light, something fun. But when her results came back, they didn’t just surprise her. They unraveled everything she thought she knew about who she was. In this conversation, Lisa shares how a single test led her to uncover donor conception, connect with a half-brother, and rethink the meaning of family, culture, and self. Raised in a fully Ashkenazi Jewish family, Lisa was confronted with results that made no sense—until they did. What followed was not just a search for answers, but a profound reckoning with identity, belonging, and truth. Through it all, she brings humor, honesty, and a deep sense of compassion for everyone involved, including her mother. SHOW NOTES Kara and Lisa discuss: * Taking a DNA test “for fun” and discovering unexpected results * Growing up with a strong cultural identity—and having it suddenly questioned * The confusion of early DNA matches and making sense of new relationships * Navigating donor conception and the reality of medical practices in earlier generations * The emotional complexity of truth, love, and protecting family relationships * Turning pain into storytelling through her feature comedy One Big Happy Family Lisa’s story holds both weight and lightness. It captures the disorientation of late discovery, but also the perspective that comes with time—how something once devastating can eventually be transformed into art. By turning her experience into One Big Happy Family, Lisa found a way to share her difficult truth with humor, heart, and humanity. Everyone has the right to know the truth about where they come from. Unraveling Me speaks to those people impacted by DNA surprises, NPEs (non-paternal event), adoption, assisted reproduction, and other revelations that their parentage isn't entirely what they thought. Having experienced an NPE herself, Kara (through Right To Know and this podcast) seeks to highlight those moments when we learn the most unsettling of secret—who we really are. At Right To Know, we encourage engagement to facilitate and create real change. As an organization, we are inclusive. We assist adoptees, the donor-conceived community, people with an NPE, birth parents, gamete providers, new genetic family, recipient parents, raising families, and significant others. In learning and growing from each other, we must put the voices of adoptees, donor conceived, and people with an NPE first. For more information about Right To Know - or if you have a story you want to tell - please visit us at https://righttoknow.us/ [https://righttoknow.us/]. ---------------------------------------- Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy [https://acast.com/privacy] for more information.