We Took the Strengths Test. His Tops Are Her Bottoms.
Ever wonder why your partner thinks the way they do — and why no amount of explaining seems to change it? Matthew and Nancy took the Gallup CliftonStrengths assessment through a leadership class at their church, and the results were equal parts validating and hilarious. Matthew's strengths — Learner, Achiever, Futuristic, Belief, and Responsibility — put him squarely in strategic thinking mode, always planning, always visioning, always reaching for what's next. Nancy's strengths — Communication, Consistency, Significance, Harmony, and Responsibility — make her a powerhouse of influence, relationship, and execution. The twist? His top two are her bottom two. Her influencing strengths are nowhere in his top 10. And somehow they've been making it work for 37+ years without knowing why.
In this episode they unpack the four quadrants — executing, influencing, relationship building, and strategic thinking — and what it looks like when a couple brings completely different ones to the table. About why Nancy doesn't need to be a strategic thinker, and why Matthew needs to stop requiring her to be one. And yes — about the moment Nancy dictated an entire list to Claude AI during a 45-minute drive just to get Matthew his beloved bullet points.
Stop trying to fix your weaknesses. Stop trying to change your partner's wiring. This episode makes the case for leaning hard into what you're actually great at — together.
📋 TAKEAWAYS
* His tops are her bottoms — and that's actually the point
* Weaknesses aren't meant to be fixed, they're meant to be acknowledged and handed off
* Four quadrants: executing, influencing, relationship building, strategic thinking — and most couples don't bring the same ones
* When you stop trying to change your partner's wiring and start working with it, everything gets easier
* Hire, delegate, or partner to cover what you're not wired for
* Nancy's son called her "spicy" years ago — turns out Harmony's description of "straightforward" basically confirms it
* Matthew has been futuristic and strategic since 2014 — the top two just swapped
* Executing is where they both shine and where they get things done together — selling the house proved it
🧑🤝🧑 People Mentioned:
* Mel Robbins — mentioned in reference to the 5-4-3-2-1 rule
🏢 Companies/Organizations Mentioned:
* Gallup CliftonStrengths — the assessment Matthew and Nancy took
* GrowthDay — referenced as a past personal development experience
* Claude — Nancy's shortcut to making Matthew's beloved list (yes, really)