Sister, Sister

Sister, Sister

Episode 100 (!!!): Colleen Leitner (My big sister) 🔹 My older sister Colleen joins for a special 100th Episode and proves that no one can humble you quite like your sister... From ACL injury roasts to podcast intro critiques and everything in between. 🔹 We dive into the older/younger sister dynamic and the childhood stories that shaped us… including assigning me my favorite color, to the legendary “Lettuce” nickname, and plenty of sibling chaos. 🔹 Colleen and I reflect on growing up with different identities... one seen as the “smart, less sporty sister” and the other as the “athletic, less smart sister” (although we eventually realized we were both a little bit of both). 🔹 We revisit the infamous AP Calculus story that still requires apologies to Mr. McCloskey and Lindsey Allen… because some decisions follow you forever. 🔹 We talk about how much our environments shape our interests — my friend group was sports-obsessed, while Colleen’s friendships pulled her toward different passions and experiences. 🔹 Colleen shares how sports gave me confidence and identity in a way it didn’t necessarily provide for her, while camp and other experiences played a bigger role in shaping who she was. 🔹 We discuss parenting kids with different interests and the constant challenge of making sure one child’s “thing” never feels more important than another child’s “thing.” 🔹 Colleen shares her theory that former athletes might actually be a major force behind today’s youth sports intensity and why that’s worth examining. 🔹 We talk about how friend groups and social media shape the way we view youth sports, especially when your circles are filled with former athletes and competitive sports parents. 🔹 Colleen explains her approach to youth sports parenting: less about chasing outcomes and more about kids running around, making friends, learning from coaches, and having fun. 🔹 We discuss the balance between supporting a kid who genuinely loves a sport while still keeping perspective with time, money, and family priorities. 🔹 Ultimately, Colleen’s goal is simple: raise kids who are happy, kind, and well-rounded — not kids whose entire identity and value are tied to one thing.

99 Problems, The Pod Ain't Solved One

Episode 99: Where the guest is... The host New Episode 99:  🎙️ |  99 Problems, The Pod Ain’t Solved One x Myself No guest on today’s pod. Just me and my microphone, 99 episodes later, reflecting on the journey and some of the big takeaway lessons from the previous 98 episodes… A huge thank you to the 88 different guests who’ve sat down with me along the way and shared in some wonderful conversations. Many of those moments are highlighted in today’s episode.  Do me a favor and tune in, then share it with someone you know.  This podcaster had fun today (and for the past 2 years)!!! Tidbits: -The surprising types of episodes/guests that people REALLY crave… -The episode I am MOST upset didn't reach more ears…  - The best quotes from guests that have lingered… -Let me clear my throat…My real, real, real feelings on kids “opting out” of high school sports.

Lessons Learned

Episode 98: Dennis Bairos (Youth sports dad/Author) 🎙️ | Dennis Bairos knows the youth sports dad life well, raising 3 kids under the age of 10 while navigating the highs and lows of sports parenting. 🔹 Bairos built a career in fitness and admits he has an “all-in” personality that can quickly become obsessive when pursuing interests. 🔹 What started as a fun father-son golf hobby quickly accelerated after his son began beating him on the course at just 6½ years old. 🔹 Bairos openly shares how early success can become intoxicating for parents and how quickly the mindset can shift to, “How do we level this up?” 🔹 His son’s early love for golf snowballed into constant tournaments, medals, rankings, and bigger dreams before he had even reached puberty. 🔹 Bairos reflects on a major turning point at the Under Armour Nationals, when he realized his son looked more nervous and scared than excited to compete. 🔹 We discuss how physically early-developing kids can dominate youth sports temporarily, while late bloomers often struggle emotionally once others catch up or pass them. 🔹 Bairos shares the warning sign he ignored… a camp director cautioning him to “give him some time” instead of constantly searching for the next opportunity. 🔹 As expectations and pressure increased, golf slowly shifted from being a bonding activity into something that started to feel more like a job for his son. 🔹 Bairos admits there were multiple moments where he considered scaling things back, but his own drive at times kept pushing the process forward. 🔹 One of the hardest realizations for Bairos was understanding that his son may have continued playing mostly to avoid disappointing him. 🔹 Bairos discusses coming to peace with his son eventually walking away from golf and how the experience completely changed his perspective on youth sports parenting. 🔹 We also dive into Bairos’ book, “Wired Like This: Why Men Push Too Far and Still Say… I Got This,” which explores the hidden patterns many men — and youth sports dads — fail to recognize in themselves.

A Moving Target

Episode 97: Taylor Roden (Soccer coach/Teacher) 🎙️ |  Taylor Roden is an elementary school teacher and girls soccer coach who loves coaching high school soccer, but has found it a challenge in recent years to land in the right spot at the club level. 🔹 As both a teacher and coach, Taylor is deeply focused on development and those “aha moments” for players  when confidence clicks and they realize “I can do this.” Those moments still give her chills. 🔹 Taylor shares a very honest reflection before the episode: despite being a C-license coach and educator, she doesn’t feel like there’s a clear place for her in today’s club soccer landscape outside of high school coaching. 🔹 She reflects that coaching “second-level” club teams was the most fulfilling experience she’s had, but that space feels like it’s disappeared in the current system. 🔹 She describes feeling stuck between worlds… like she has to choose between being a teacher with a full life outside soccer or being fully immersed in the demanding club coaching circuit. 🔹 The modern club structure has raised the commitment bar so high (travel, practices, year-round demands) that it’s pushed out many quality coaches who aren’t full-time soccer professionals. 🔹 The idea of true “second teams” has faded, with clubs instead funneling players into a system where everyone is labeled “top team,” even when the competitive balance doesn’t match. 🔹 We talk about how clubs have shifted away from coach autonomy, moving toward rigid league-driven structures instead of allowing teams to be placed where development actually makes sense. 🔹 The core idea: players should be in environments where they are challenged appropriately, not getting crushed every game, and not dominating without growth opportunities. 🔹 Taylor calls out the constant “Pathway to Pro” messaging in youth soccer culture, questioning how realistic or meaningful it is for the vast majority of players. 🔹 With experience across rec, club, and high school soccer, she highlights how dramatically different each level is from organization and consistency to resources and expectations. 🔹 We close by reflecting on how club soccer today feels designed for full-time coaches, and wondering if either of us would have survived in the current landscape…plus some unfiltered hot takes to finish it off.

The Numbers Don't Lie

Episode 96: Joe Foran (Long-time soccer official and mentor) 🎙 Joe Foran, a long-time soccer official, mentor, and author of Misusing the Young, joins the podcast to unpack the growing referee crisis in youth sports and why the entire system is leaning heavily on teenage officials to keep games alive. 🔹 Foran’s path into officiating started in the most ironic way possible: criticizing a referee himself. The official turned to him and said, “You really should become a referee.” Thirty-plus years later, he’s still in the game and now serves on the National Disciplinary Appeals Panel for the Soccer Federation (essentially soccer’s version of the Supreme Court). 🔹 One of the most alarming realities? Foran says roughly 1/3 of the disciplinary cases he hears involve referee abuse in some form. 🔹 We discuss how physically and mentally demanding officiating actually is. In a typical soccer match, referees are making 100-150 decisions while constantly moving and all are expected to be perfect and delivered in microseconds. “If people understood the difficulty, they’d be more sympathetic.” 🔹 The officiating pipeline is collapsing. Across all sports, roughly 75% of officials quit within three years. In soccer specifically, Foran says about 1/2 of newly trained youth referees are gone by the end of their very first season. 🔹 And the issue isn’t really the pay. Officials can make GOOD money. The real problem? The constant negativity, judgment, and abuse — not always screaming, but the exhausting environment young refs are forced to operate in every weekend. 🔹 Nearly half of the 100,000+ referees in the US Soccer Federation are under 18 years old. Youth refs are officiating the majority of youth games because, bluntly, many adults don’t want those assignments. The entire youth sports model is increasingly being sustained by teenagers. 🔹 Foran argues the conversation has to go beyond “administrative shortages.” What happens to the teenagers who quit after being verbally abused? What’s the long-term mental health impact on kids squeezed out of sports officiating before they even become adults? 🔹 One of his biggest practical solutions? Adult field marshals. Foran believes simply having an adult presence supporting young referees on the sideline could dramatically lower tensions and improve retention almost immediately. 🔹 We also dive into the “proximity theory”.... Which is the closer spectators are to the action, the more emotional they become. One league experimented with moving parents back just five yards from the touchline, and clubs were stunned by how much it lowered the temperature. 🔹 Foran shares a brutally funny phrase from a basketball coach: “Delusional Parent Disorder” That is the irrational belief that your child is dramatically better than reality, often fueling sideline outrage directed at officials. 🔹 And one final reminder from Foran: “We see what we look for.” Parents watching officials are often searching for mistakes, while watching their own kids for moments of success. Maybe youth sports changes a little when we start looking for the good in officials too. 🔹 Plus… today’s hot take: NO MORE CRUISES.