2156 The Fruit of Self-Control – Fruits Part 15
Here it is—today we study the final fruit of the Spirit. And isn’t it just like God to save a grand lesson for last? The one fruit every one of us knows we desperately need: Self-control.
In mentoring women to pursue their God-given goals and live the life they were created for, I hear this all the time: “Pamela, I just don’t have any willpower. I have no self-control.”
Have you ever said that about yourself? But let’s stop and ask a deeper question.
Is that really true? Can someone who has been filled with the Holy Spirit truly say they have no self-control? I believe that’s one of the enemy’s favorite lies. It’s a limiting belief designed to keep us striving in our own strength instead of living from the power already at work within us. It’s a lie that makes us buy our own excuses and settle for a little life, all while we were created for a BIG Life. The very presence of God living within you PRODUCES self-control.
Let me show you how I know. Most of us refer to Galatians 5:22-23 as the “fruits” of the Spirit—as though Paul is giving us a basket filled with different kinds of fruit. Maybe you’re naturally patient but struggle with kindness. Maybe you have joy but not peace. Maybe you have love but not self-control. It’s like saying, “the basket I was given has grapes, but no strawberries. I just have to struggle through this life with never getting strawberries because I wasn’t given any.”
But that’s not what Paul wrote. Look closely. He doesn’t say, “The Holy Spirit produces these fruits.” He says, “The fruit of the Spirit is…” Let’s read it for ourselves, Galatians 5: 22-23, “But the Holy Spirit produces THIS KIND OF FRUIT in our lives: Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.”
Fruit is singular. Paul isn’t describing 9 separate fruits we can pick and choose from. He is describing one Spirit-produced life that reveals itself in 9 beautiful expressions: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
Think of it like sunlight passing through a prism. It’s one light, yet it displays many colors. If a prism has sunlight, then it has all the colors. There’s not one defective prism just lacking pink. There’s not another just lacking yellow. They’re all there if the prism has sunlight, just turn it to see. The fruit of the Spirit works much the same way. It is one supernatural life produced by the Holy Spirit, expressed in multiple ways.
That changes everything.
Self-control isn’t an isolated virtue reserved for naturally disciplined people. It isn’t a personality trait. It isn’t something God gives to a select few while withholding it from everyone else.
Yet somehow we believe only the super fit get self-control. Only the ones losing weight, or saving money, or with a clean house have self-control. Only those who consistently meet their goals have self-control. Isn’t that what you’ve believed? And haven’t you dismissed yourself at some point because you just don’t have the same self-control they do?
Girl, don’t let the enemy twist this. Don’t let him convince you that you’re lacking the fruit. Are you a believer and follower of Jesus? Have you placed your faith in him and surrendered your life to him? Yes? Then you have been given the gift of the Holy Spirit. God’s presence dwells within you. And just like when sunlight hits the prism, all the lights are present when you turn it – all 9 expressions of the Spirit are growing in you! You’re not missing one. You weren’t just left out.
Self-control is part of the very character the Holy Spirit is growing in EVERY believer – and that means YOU. Self-control is growing in you right along side love and joy, and peace and patience, kindness, goodness and gentleness.
Now, does that mean every Christian demonstrates perfect self-control? Of course not. Fruit grows. No one plants an apple tree on Monday and expects a harvest by Friday. Growth is gradual. It is cultivated. It is nourished. It matures over time.
The question isn’t, “Do I already have perfect self-control?” The better question is, “Am I yielding to the Spirit who is producing it in me?” That’s an entirely different conversation.
You may feel like someone who lacks self-control because you’ve looked at your failures more than God’s promises. But your failures don’t define what the Holy Spirit is capable of producing.
If you belong to Christ, the Spirit who raised Jesus from the dead lives in you. That means the seed of self-control has already been planted. The issue isn’t whether God has given it. The issue is whether we’re allowing Him to cultivate it.
This life isn’t about gritting our teeth and trying harder. It has always been about surrendering more deeply.
Now, let’s study self-control and see what it really means. The Greek word translated as ‘self-control’ means power and strength within. What this means is the Holy Spirits gives every believer an internal ruler stronger than external temptation. No matter what temptation you’re facing, there’s an internal ruler stronger! There’s a power within you that can turn away, resist, and overcome.
Y’all this past weekend I was at my Mama’s house and she made her award winning, best thing you’ve ever eaten in your whole life, blackberry cobbler. She had gone out and picked the fresh blackberries herself. She had made her secret pie crust that’s thick and perfectly flaky and buttery. Then, she made homemade icrecream to go with it. BUT I am committed with a healthy meal plan right now that does not include cobbler or ice cream, dad-gum-it!
So, how do you think I did? Do you think I was able to withstand the temptation of this culinary perfection? You bet your butt I did, and here’s how – I HAVE THE HOLY SPIRIT WITHIN ME and I KNOW THERE’S AN INTERNAL RULER STRONGER THAN THAT TEMPTATION. (I just have to listen to the right voice.)
Does God really care if I eat mama’s blackberry cobbler and homemade icecream? Nahhh, I don’t think so. But I do believe God cares about my health because this body is a vessel for his Holy Spirit. And I do believe he cares about the commitments I make and my willingness to tap into the power he has given me to follow through with those commitments.
What the Holy Spirit is growing within us isn’t the absence of desire. (I still really wanted a very large bowl of that greatness.) What the Holy Spirit is growing within us is proper rule OVER DESIRE. It’s the internal governor that says, “You don’t have to do every little thing you feel like doing. You don’t have to get everything you think you want. You don’t have to have immediate gratification. You’re not a victim to your every desire. Yield to God’s power within you.”
2 Timothy 1:7, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love and self-discipline.”
That’s what God has given you. Now it’s up to you to abide in him and surrender to the power he has put within you!
Before Jesus saved us, our flesh ruled. We set on our throne, our desires issued commands and our minds justified them. Our bodies obeyed. But with Jesus we have the Holy Spirit, now we’re under a different command. There’s a different ruler on the throne. Jesus sits in authority. The Spirit empowers new desires. And yes, our flesh still speaks, but it is not longer the king. Self-control is evidence there’s a new king governing our heart and life.
We become a new person with the fruit of the Holy Spirit growing in us!
Now, understand this, the Holy Spirit does not merely hand us extra strength. He reshapes our loves. God’s commands come with God’s enabling grace. The Spirit writes God’s law on our hearts, creating new desires that increasingly align with His will. As we grow in Christ, we don’t just have stronger disciple, we actually grow to WANT WHAT GOD WANTS. The deepest direction of our heart is changing!!!!!!
You can’t will yourself into that change – that’s a direct result of the Holy Spirit working within you.
Now here’s what I hope you’ll never forget – Self-control is not about becoming a stronger version of you. It’s about becoming a more surrendered version of you.
The world says, “Try harder.” Jesus says, “Abide in Me.” The world says, “Get more disciplined.” The Holy Spirit says, “Walk with Me.”
Maybe you’ve spent years telling yourself, “I just don’t have any self-control.” Maybe you’ve believed that’s just the way you are. Maybe you’ve looked at other women and thought, “They’re disciplined. They’re organized. They’re healthy. They’re financially wise. They have self-control…I just don’t.” Sweet friend, that’s not your identity.
If you belong to Christ, the Holy Spirit lives within you. And if the Holy Spirit lives within you, then He is producing His fruit within you—including self-control. The question isn’t whether God has given it. The question is whether you’ll believe it’s there…and begin partnering with Him instead of arguing with Him.
Every time you’re tempted to quit…
Every time you want to say something you’ll regret…
Every time you want to give in to fear…
Every time you want immediate gratification instead of God’s best…
Pause. Remember who’s on the throne. Remember there is an internal Ruler who is stronger than every external temptation. Then choose to listen to His voice instead of the voice of your flesh.
Will you still have moments where you fail? Absolutely. But failure is no longer your identity. It’s simply another opportunity to turn back to the One who is faithfully growing His fruit in you.
Fruit doesn’t grow because we strain harder. Fruit grows because it stays connected to the vine. Jesus said in John 15, “Abide in Me.” He didn’t say, “Impress Me.” He didn’t say, “Perform for Me.” He said, “Remain in Me.” That’s the secret.
As you remain with Him, the Holy Spirit keeps doing what only He can do. He changes your desires. He renews your mind. He strengthens your resolve. He reminds you of truth in the moment you need it. He gives you power to say “no” to what steals life so you can say “yes” to what leads to life.
And one day you’ll look back and realize something remarkable. The things that once mastered you… don’t anymore. Not because you finally found enough willpower. But because the Spirit of God has been faithfully transforming you from the inside out.
That’s the fruit of self-control. Not a life of white-knuckled striving. A life that is increasingly ruled by Jesus. And isn’t that what we’ve been studying all along?
Self-control is simply Jesus ruling where our flesh used to. That’s the fruit the Holy Spirit is growing in you.
So don’t leave here saying, “I need more willpower.” Leave here saying, “Holy Spirit, have more of me.”
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