BLUE MUMDAYS

Hypnotherapist Sophie Burch opens up about the intense struggles she faced after the births of her first two sons. These included a traumatic delivery with shoulder dystocia, and the challenges of colic and silent reflux. With little support, she reached a breaking point where she nearly harmed her baby in a moment of despair. Her deeply personal and courageous story highlights the urgent need for emotional support and better preparation for new mothers. Sophie found healing through helping others, and has dedicated her life to supporting maternal mental health with tools like the Beyond Birth Guide. * Trigger Warning: Birth Trauma, Resuscitation and Neonatal Intensive Care (N I C U)* In This Episode We Discuss: [00:00] Teaser quote. [01:36] Introduction to Nurture You's Sophie Burch. [03:28] A difficult pregnancy - antenatal depression and work stress. Polycistic ovarian syndrome (P C O S). [07:01] A traumatic shoulder dystocia delivery and resuscitation of her baby. No follow-ups or support. [10:10] Full throes of postnatal depression. Terrified her son would be taken away from her if she admitted how she was feeling. [14:38] Healing through helping others. C B T (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy). Support from her husband and friends. [19:01] Sophie's second pregnancy - hypnobirthing and a healing home birth. [21:30] Driven to the edge through her baby's silent reflux - a call for help in a moment of desperation. [25:35] Healing through talking, journalling, breathwork and nurturing yourself as well as your baby. Developing her 'Beyond Birth' guide. Key Takeaways: 1.   Shoulder dystocia is a childbirth emergency that happens when a baby's shoulders get stuck behind the mother's pelvic bones, after the head has been delivered. It can make delivery difficult and dangerous for both the baby and the mother. R C O G information on Shoulder Dystocia. [https://www.rcog.org.uk/for-the-public/browse-our-patient-information/shoulder-dystocia/] 2.    Blue MumDays S1 Ep17: When Birth Leads to Trauma [https://bluemumdays.captivate.fm/episode/when-birth-leads-to-trauma-dr-rebecca-moore] – listen to my conversation with Make Birth Better’s Dr. Rebecca Moore to learn more about birth trauma. 3.   Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) is a common hormonal disorder affecting people with ovaries, often during their reproductive years. It can cause a range of symptoms and impact fertility. N H S information on P C O S. [https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/polycystic-ovary-syndrome-pcos/] 4.   Colic is frequent, prolonged and intense crying or fussiness in a healthy infant, specifically if they cry more than 3 hours a day, 3 days a week for at least 1 week. Colic can be particularly frustrating for parents because the baby's distress occurs for no apparent reason and no amount of consoling seems to bring any relief. N H S advice on colic. [https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/colic/] 5.   Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors are a common class of antidepressants used for treating depression, anxiety disorders and other mental health conditions. Specifically they increase the levels of serotonin, a ‘feel good’ neurotransmitter in the brain. N H S overview of S S R I anti-depressants. [https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/talking-therapies-medicine-treatments/medicines-and-psychiatry/ssri-antidepressants/overview/] 6.   Hypnobirthing is a childbirth method using relaxation, breathing techniques, visualisation and self-hypnosis to help women feel calm, confident and in control during labour and birth. Tommys guide on hypnobirthing. [https://www.tommys.org/pregnancy-information/giving-birth/pain-relief/hypnobirthing] 7.   Silent reflux (also called laryngopharyngeal reflux, or L P R) occurs when stomach acid or digestive juices flow back up into the throat and voice box without causing the usual symptoms of heartburn or indigestion. NHS advice on reflux and silent reflux. [https://www.nhs.uk/start-for-life/baby/feeding-your-baby/breastfeeding/breastfeeding-challenges/reflux/#:~:text=Sometimes%20babies%20may%20have%20signs,is%20known%20as%20silent%20reflux.] 8.   Blue MumDays Episode 27 - Justin Eade: It's Good To Walk [https://bluemumdays.captivate.fm/episode/audiovikkistephenson21347501973]. 9.   Find out more about Sophie Burch’s coaching and hypnotherapy work through her 'Nurture You' website. [https://nurture-you.co.uk/] The ‘Beyond Birth Guide’ [https://www.beyondbirth.co/courses/beyond-birth-guide] is Sophie’s supportive and practical guide for parents and parents to be. It shows you how to reconnect and rediscover yourself, deepen your awareness, feel calm and confident in managing all the tasks and feelings that parenting brings.  10. Suzy Reading's instagram page. [https://www.instagram.com/suzyreading/?hl=en] Suzy is a chartered psychologist offering tips on wellbeing and mindfulness. If you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need. Follow us: Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/bluemumdays/] / Twitter [https://twitter.com/BMumdays] / Facebook Group [https://www.facebook.com/groups/bluemumdays] / bluemumdays@gmail.com [bluemumdays@gmail.com] Taking A Pause: Due to some sad family news, Blue MumDays is going on hiatus, so thank you for your patience while I take some time out. In the meantime, please feel free to listen to the many fantastic conversations I've had in the archive. If you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need. You are not alone and will not feel this way forever. Links to Support: (please note we do not check or monitor them individually). 1.    Acacia Family Support [https://www.acacia.org.uk/bame/mums-dads/] Pre and postnatal depression support for Black, Asian and Minority Ethnic mums and dads.  0121 301 5990, help@acacia.org.uk.  2.    Action on Postpartum Psychosis (APP) [https://www.app-network.org/] Moderated Forum, click here [https://healthunlocked.com/app-network] to find out more. Email: app@app-network.org [app@app-network.org] / Tel: 020 3322 9900 3.    AIMS [https://www.aims.org.uk/] for better birthing. helpline@aims.org.uk [helpline@aims.org.uk]. This email will go to a group of AIMS volunteers and someone will respond as soon as possible. / Telephone: +44 (0) 300 365 0663 (leave message) 4.    Andys Man Club [https://andysmanclub.co.uk/] A non-judgmental talking group for men. info@andysmanclub.co.uk [info@andysmanclub.co.uk] 5.    Association of Postnatal Illness [https://apni.org/] Helpline: 10am – 2pm – 0207 386 0868 / Email: info@apni.org [info@apni.org] (Live chat online facility) 6.    Best Beginnings [https://www.bestbeginnings.org.uk/]. Free NHS-accredited Baby Buddy app [https://www.bestbeginnings.org.uk/baby-buddy] offering 24/7 App support for new parents 7.    Birth Trauma Association [https://www.birthtraumaassociation.org.uk/for-parents/getting-help] Email: support@birthtraumaassociation.org.uk [support@birthtraumaassociation.org.uk] 8.    CALM [https://apni.org/]. National helpline: 0800 58 58 58 (5pm-midnight) 9.    Cedar House Support Group [https://www.cedarhousesupportgroup.com/supportgroups] for mums with postnatal depression. Email: lwise@talktalk.net [lwise@talktalk.net] (Liz Wise) / Mobile: 07773 283556. 10. Contact - for families with disabled children. [https://contact.org.uk/] Helpline: 0808 808 3555. 11. Dad Matters [https://dadmatters.org.uk/]. Support dads to have successful relationships with their families, with mental health and accessing services through peer support and signposting. kierananders@homestarthost.org.uk [kierananders@homestarthost.org.uk] / 0161 344 0669 12. DadsNet [https://www.thedadsnet.com/] offers support and knowledge through a community of dads on practical parenting and fatherhood. 13. Dope Black Dads [https://dopeblack.org/dopeblackdads/] - A digital safe space for fathers who wish to discuss their experiences of being black, a parent and masculinity in the modern world. hello@dopeblack.org 14. Family Lives [https://www.familylives.org.uk/] provides immediate help from volunteer parent support workers 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Helpline: 0808 800 2222. 15. Family Rights Group [https://frg.org.uk/]. Support for parents and other family members whose children are involved with or need social care services. Helpline: 0808 801 0366. 16. Fathers Mental Health UK [https://www.instagram.com/fathersmentalhealth/] is a UK-based community interest company dedicated to enhancing the mental health of fathers and their families, especially during the perinatal period. Run by paternal mental health pioneer Mark Williams, offering support to dads. 17. Fatherhood Solutions [https://www.facebook.com/pmhsupportforparents/?locale=en_GB]. Scott Mair is a consultant in paternal mental health and parent education, Peer support trainer. Dad, Husband, Army veteran.  18. FiveXMore [https://fivexmore.org/]. A grassroots organisation committed to changing Black women and birthing people’s maternal health outcomes in the UK. Email: fivexmore@gmail.com 19. Gingerbread [https://www.gingerbread.org.uk/] offer help and advice on the issues that matter to single parents. Helpline 0808 802 0925. 20. The Hub of Hope [https://hubofhope.co.uk/] - A directory of mental health support around the UK. 21. Lactation Consultants of Great Britain [https://lcgb.org/find-an-ibclc/] – for support with breastfeeding. 22. LGBT Mummies [https://lgbtmummies.com/] support LGBT+ women & people globally on the path to motherhood or parenthood. Email: contact@lgbtmummies.com 23. Make Birth Better (Birth Trauma Support) [https://www.makebirthbetter.org/birth-trauma-support-for-parents] Email: hello@makebirthbetter.org [hello@makebirthbetter.org] 24. The Maternal Mental Health Alliance [https://maternalmentalhealthalliance.org/about-maternal-mental-health/support-mums-and-families/] is a UK charity and network of 130 organisations, dedicated to ensuring women and families affected by perinatal mental health problems have access to high-quality, compassionate care. 25. Maternal OCD [http://www.maternalocd.org/] Peer support available, email info@maternalocd.org [info@maternalocd.org] to arrange. 26. Mayah's Legacy [https://www.mayahslegacy.com/] support and empower anyone who has experienced pregnancy loss to advocate for themselves. Email: info@bigoutreach.org [info@bigoutreach.org] / 0300 102 1596. 27. The Motherhood Group [https://www.themotherhoodgroup.com/about] are dedicated to sharing and supporting the black maternal experience through peer support, projects and advocacy. info@themotherhoodgroup.com [info@themotherhoodgroup.com] 28. Motivational Mums Club [https://www.motivationalmumsclub.com/] offer trauma, mindfulness and meditation sessions for mothers and mums-to-be with an NHS Mental Health Specialist, who’s also a mother. motivationalmumsclub@gmail.com [motivationalmumsclub@gmail.com] 29. Music Football Fatherhood [https://musicfootballfatherhood.com/] offer open conversations around fatherhood, including blogs, peer support and podcasts. hello@musicfootballfatherhood.com 30. Muslim Women’s Network [https://www.mwnhelpline.co.uk/] Helpline: 0800 999 5786, open Mon-Fri 10am–4pm with support offered in English, Urdu, Punjabi, Mirpuri, Putwari, Hindko and Bengali. Email: info@mwnhelpline.co.uk [info@mwnhelpline.co.uk] Text: 07415 206 936. 31. National Autistic Society [https://www.autism.org.uk/] for support and advice for parents and carers of autistic children, including support to develop a greater understanding of their child’s needs and accessing services that meet the family's needs. 32. Netmums [https://www.netmums.com/] offer peer support via their Maternal Mental Health Drop-InClinic [https://www.netmums.com/coffeehouse/drop-clinic-984/maternal-mental-health-995/]. 33. NHS Services for Mental Health Issues [https://www.nhs.uk/nhs-services/mental-health-services/where-to-get-urgent-help-for-mental-health/] Contact your local GP surgery. Call the NHS on 111 and press 2 for Mental Health Team or contact a local NHS urgent mental health helpline [https://www.nhs.uk/service-search/mental-health/find-an-urgent-mental-health-helpline]If you are in crisis, visit Accident & Emergency at your nearest hospital. 34. PANDAS [http://www.pandasfoundation.org.uk/] Helpline open from 9am-8pm every day – 0843 2898 401 info@pandasfoundation.org.uk [info@pandasfoundation.org.uk] 35. Perinatal Wellbeing Ontario [https://www.perinatalwellbeing.ca/] offer pre-natal, pregnancy and postpartum support and connection in Canada. info@perinatalwellbeing.ca [info@perinatalwellbeing.ca] 36. Petals Baby Loss Charity [https://www.petalscharity.org/] offers free-of-charge specialist counselling to anyone who has experienced pregnancy or baby loss. Tel: 0300 688 0068 counselling@petalscharity.org [counselling@petalscharity.org] 37. The Samaritans [https://www.samaritans.org/] Tel: 116 123 (this is a free telephone number and will not appear on the phone bill) Email: jo@samaritans.org [jo@samaritans.org] 38. Sands Charity [https://www.sands.org.uk/about-sands]offer emotional and practical support for anyone affected by the death of a baby. 0808 164 3332 /Email: helpline@sands.org.uk [helpline@sands.org.uk] 39. SHOUT text support service [https://giveusashout.org/get-help/?gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjwvpy5BhDTARIsAHSilynaZa5_W1Ht0LXhTRuGWhAlbCDgikx3ExOBcA0wNSe1Rvq29qF56SEaAu-sEALw_wcB] for anyone struggling to cope. Text SHOUT to 85258 to start a confidential conversation with a trained volunteer. 40. Twins Trust [https://www.twinstrust.org/]. Twinline is a listening service for parents of twins, triplets and more. 0800 138 0509 / email asktwinline@twinstrust.org [asktwinline@twinstrust.org]. 41. Tommy’s [https://www.tommys.org/pregnancy-information/im-pregnant/mental-wellbeing] has a team of in-house midwives who offer free support and information for women and their families at any stage of pregnancy and after the birth....

In this special episode for Maternal Mental Health Awareness Week, host Vikki chats with lactation consultant Sally Rickard about the ups and downs of breastfeeding and early motherhood. Sally shares her personal and professional insights on common challenges like tongue-tie, milk supply issues, mastitis and the emotional strain these can bring. With kindness and clarity, Sally offers practical advice on latch, positioning, and mixed feeding, while reassuring parents that it’s okay to ask for help. This episode is a comforting reminder that you're not alone—and that support is always available. In this Episode: [00:00] Teaser Quote [02:04] Meet Sally Rickard, lactation consultant [03:02] Personal breastfeeding challenges [04:15] The reality of motherhood expectations [06:46] Navigating conflicting advice [07:50] The complexity of breastfeeding [09:32] Sally's own breastfeeding issues and birth experience [18:30] Sally’s journey to becoming a lactation consultant [25:55] Tongue-tie [30:22] Common issues with latch [33:24] Supply issues and solutions [38:19] Mixed feeding: a balanced approach [43:30] How to tell if you're baby is feeding well [45:11] Mastitis and blocked ducts [50:11] Soothing cracked and sore nipples [52:47] Final thoughts and resources Key Takeaways: 1. Find out more about Sally Rickard and her breastfeeding expertise and support in South London through her website, Baby-thrive.com [https://www.baby-thrive.com/].   2. I B C L C stands for International Board Certified Lactation Consultant. It's a globally recognised certification for professionals with specialist knowledge and skills in breastfeeding and lactation management.  3. The N C T [https://www.nct.org.uk/courses-workshops/nct-antenatal-course?gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=21358527048&gbraid=0AAAAAD4vGsC5OPIZdC0DaCJazpb8GxOk5&gclid=Cj0KCQjww-HABhCGARIsALLO6Xz2tNZluXTM8gOT9YBw6wOqZKmpjGoICkGgTy2y6jJUj0BteFMVCWkaAt4iEALw_wcB] is the National Childbirth Trust, who offer antenatal classes where you can meet fellow parents in your area and learn more about looking after a baby. 4. The Edinburgh Postnatal Depression Scale (E P D S) is a widely used screening tool to identify women who may be at risk of postpartum depression. It's a 10-item questionnaire that assesses symptoms like guilt, sleep disturbance, and low energy.  5. Listen to 'Double Cancer Didn't Cause Depression, Giving Birth Did' [https://bluemumdays.captivate.fm/episode/double-cancer-and-losing-parents-didnt-cause-depression-having-a-baby-did] (Blue MumDays S1 Ep1 with postnatal depression counsellor Liz Wise), to learn how a problem bonding with her daughter didn’t cause issues later in life. Liz’s daughter Emma talks beautifully about the close bond she has with her mum and how Liz’s experience of PND actually made her a better mum. 6. The Lactation Consultants of Great Britain [https://lcgb.org/find-an-ibclc-map/#!biz/id/5feb5f72f74ca15cb34462a8] is a registered charity working to improve the health and wellbeing of families through advocacy and expert IBCLC breastfeeding care. A lactation consultant can help you with breastfeeding issues and advice.   7. NHS guidance on tongue-tie [https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/tongue-tie/#:~:text=Tongue%2Dtie%20is%20where%20the,or%20painful%20and%20swollen%20breasts.], a condition where the skin under a baby’s tongue is shorter or tighter than normal, restricting movement.  This can cause feeding difficulties like poor latch, frequent feeding, and slow weight gain, and may lead to nipple pain for breastfeeding parents.  It can usually be treated with a simple procedure. 8. Colostrum is the first breast milk your body makes. It contains antibodies which protect your baby from infection and helps their immune system to develop. NHS advice on colostrum harvesting here. [https://www.nth.nhs.uk/resources/colostrum-harvesting/] 9. Global Health Media’s video Is Your Baby Getting Enough Milk? [https://globalhealthmedia.org/video/is-your-baby-getting-enough-milk/] shows signs to tell when your baby is feeding well. The section on sucking and swallowing is about 2 minutes from the beginning. 10. Mastitis [https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/mastitis/] is a common condition that can affect breastfeeding individuals, causing breast inflammation and flu-like symptoms. It usually occurs on one breast, where a swollen area may feel hot and painful to touch. The area may become red but this can be harder to see if you have black or brown skin. This is often caused by problems with positioning and attachment. 11. NHS advice on breastfeeding positioning and attachment [https://www.nhs.uk/baby/breastfeeding-and-bottle-feeding/breastfeeding/positioning-and-attachment/] 12. Mother & Baby Magazine review of silver nipple cups [https://www.motherandbaby.com/baby/feeding/silver-nursing-cups/]. They can soothe and heal sore, cracked nipples caused by breastfeeding issues. Their natural antibacterial properties promote healing, reduce inflammation and protect against infection. The cups help maintain moisture and provide a gentle shield, allowing the skin to recover while still enabling breastfeeding. 13. La Leche League [https://laleche.org.uk/] offers friendly breastfeeding support from pregnancy onwards.  14. Listen to my episode with Sarah Edge on 'Breastfeeding Trauma and Grief' [https://bluemumdays.captivate.fm/episode/breastfeeding-trauma-and-grief-sarah-edge-part-1] (S3 Ep35 Blue MumDays) if you are struggling with breastfeeding. Know that you aren’t alone. 15. The National Breastfeeding Helpline [https://www.nationalbreastfeedinghelpline.org.uk/] offers friendly, non-judgemental, independent breastfeeding support 24/7 within the UK. Call 0300 100 0212. Support is also available in Welsh, Polish, Bengali & Sylheti and for people who have hearing or speech impairments. 16. Further independent advice and tips on breastfeeding can be found with the Breastfeeding Network [https://www.breastfeedingnetwork.org.uk/]. 17. The Association of Breastfeeding Mothers [https://abm.me.uk/] is a group of trained volunteers dedicated to supporting breastfeeding mums and their families. Follow us: Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/bluemumdays/] / Twitter [https://twitter.com/BMumdays] / Facebook Group [https://www.facebook.com/groups/bluemumdays] / bluemumdays@gmail.com [bluemumdays@gmail.com] Taking A Pause: Due to some sad family news, Blue MumDays is going on hiatus, so thank you for your patience while I take some time out. In the meantime, please feel free to listen to the many fantastic conversations I've had in the archive. If you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need. You are not alone and will not feel this way forever. Links to Support: (please note we do not check or monitor them individually). 1.    Acacia Family Support [https://www.acacia.org.uk/bame/mums-dads/] Pre and postnatal depression support for Black, Asian and Minority Ethnic mums and dads.  0121 301 5990, help@acacia.org.uk.  2.    Action on Postpartum Psychosis (APP) [https://www.app-network.org/] Moderated Forum, click here [https://healthunlocked.com/app-network] to find out more. Email: app@app-network.org [app@app-network.org] / Tel: 020 3322 9900 3.    AIMS [https://www.aims.org.uk/] for better birthing. helpline@aims.org.uk [helpline@aims.org.uk]. This email will go to a group of AIMS volunteers and someone will respond as soon as possible. / Telephone: +44 (0) 300 365 0663 (leave message) 4.    Andys Man Club [https://andysmanclub.co.uk/] A non-judgmental talking group for men. info@andysmanclub.co.uk [info@andysmanclub.co.uk] 5.    Association of Postnatal Illness [https://apni.org/] Helpline: 10am – 2pm – 0207 386 0868 / Email: info@apni.org [info@apni.org] (Live chat online facility) 6.    Best Beginnings [https://www.bestbeginnings.org.uk/]. Free NHS-accredited Baby Buddy app [https://www.bestbeginnings.org.uk/baby-buddy] offering 24/7 App support for new parents 7.    Birth Trauma Association [https://www.birthtraumaassociation.org.uk/for-parents/getting-help] Email: support@birthtraumaassociation.org.uk [support@birthtraumaassociation.org.uk] 8.    CALM [https://apni.org/]. National helpline: 0800 58 58 58 (5pm-midnight) 9.    Cedar House Support Group [https://www.cedarhousesupportgroup.com/supportgroups] for mums with postnatal depression. Email: lwise@talktalk.net [lwise@talktalk.net] (Liz Wise) / Mobile: 07773 283556. 10. Contact - for families with disabled children. [https://contact.org.uk/] Helpline: 0808 808 3555. 11. Dad Matters [https://dadmatters.org.uk/]. Support dads to have successful relationships with their families, with mental health and accessing services through peer support and signposting. kierananders@homestarthost.org.uk [kierananders@homestarthost.org.uk] / 0161 344 0669 12. DadsNet [https://www.thedadsnet.com/] offers support and knowledge through a community of dads on practical parenting and fatherhood. 13. Dope Black Dads [https://dopeblack.org/dopeblackdads/] - A digital safe space for fathers who wish to discuss their experiences of being black, a parent and masculinity in the modern world. hello@dopeblack.org 14. Family Lives [https://www.familylives.org.uk/] provides immediate help from volunteer parent support workers 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Helpline: 0808 800 2222. 15. Family Rights Group [https://frg.org.uk/]. Support for parents and other family members whose children are involved with or need social care services. Helpline: 0808 801 0366. 16. Fathers Mental Health UK [https://www.instagram.com/fathersmentalhealth/] is a UK-based community interest company dedicated to enhancing the mental health of fathers and their families, especially during the perinatal period. Run by paternal mental health pioneer Mark Williams, offering support to dads. 17. Fatherhood Solutions [https://www.facebook.com/pmhsupportforparents/?locale=en_GB]. Scott Mair is a consultant in paternal mental health and parent education, Peer support trainer. Dad, Husband, Army veteran.  18. FiveXMore [https://fivexmore.org/]. A grassroots organisation committed to changing Black women and birthing people’s maternal health outcomes in the UK. Email: fivexmore@gmail.com 19. Gingerbread [https://www.gingerbread.org.uk/] offer help and advice on the issues that matter to single parents. Helpline 0808 802 0925. 20. The Hub of Hope [https://hubofhope.co.uk/] - A directory of mental health support around the UK. 21. Lactation Consultants of Great Britain [https://lcgb.org/find-an-ibclc/] – for support with breastfeeding. 22. LGBT Mummies [https://lgbtmummies.com/] support LGBT+ women & people globally on the path to motherhood or parenthood. Email: contact@lgbtmummies.com 23. Make Birth Better (Birth Trauma Support) [https://www.makebirthbetter.org/birth-trauma-support-for-parents] Email: hello@makebirthbetter.org [hello@makebirthbetter.org] 24. The Maternal Mental Health Alliance [https://maternalmentalhealthalliance.org/about-maternal-mental-health/support-mums-and-families/] is a UK charity and network of 130 organisations, dedicated to ensuring women and families affected by perinatal mental health problems have access to high-quality, compassionate care. 25. Maternal OCD [http://www.maternalocd.org/] Peer support available, email info@maternalocd.org [info@maternalocd.org] to arrange. 26. Mayah's Legacy [https://www.mayahslegacy.com/] support and empower anyone who has experienced pregnancy loss to advocate for themselves. Email: info@bigoutreach.org [info@bigoutreach.org] / 0300 102 1596. 27. The Motherhood Group [https://www.themotherhoodgroup.com/about] are dedicated to sharing and supporting the black maternal experience through peer support, projects and advocacy. info@themotherhoodgroup.com [info@themotherhoodgroup.com] 28. Motivational Mums Club [https://www.motivationalmumsclub.com/] offer trauma, mindfulness and meditation sessions for mothers and mums-to-be with an NHS Mental Health Specialist, who’s also a mother. motivationalmumsclub@gmail.com [motivationalmumsclub@gmail.com] 29. Music Football Fatherhood [https://musicfootballfatherhood.com/] offer open conversations around fatherhood, including blogs, peer support and podcasts. hello@musicfootballfatherhood.com 30. Muslim Women’s Network [https://www.mwnhelpline.co.uk/] Helpline: 0800 999 5786, open Mon-Fri 10am–4pm with support offered in English, Urdu, Punjabi, Mirpuri, Putwari, Hindko and Bengali. Email: info@mwnhelpline.co.uk [info@mwnhelpline.co.uk] Text: 07415 206 936. 31. National Autistic Society [https://www.autism.org.uk/] for support and advice for parents and carers of autistic children, including support to develop a greater understanding of their child’s needs and accessing services that meet the family's needs. 32. Netmums [https://www.netmums.com/] offer peer support via their Maternal Mental Health Drop-InClinic [https://www.netmums.com/coffeehouse/drop-clinic-984/maternal-mental-health-995/]. 33. NHS Services for Mental Health Issues [https://www.nhs.uk/nhs-services/mental-health-services/where-to-get-urgent-help-for-mental-health/] Contact your local GP surgery. Call the NHS on 111 and press 2 for Mental Health Team or contact a local NHS urgent mental health helpline [https://www.nhs.uk/service-search/mental-health/find-an-urgent-mental-health-helpline]If you are in crisis, visit Accident & Emergency at your nearest hospital. 34. PANDAS [http://www.pandasfoundation.org.uk/] Helpline open from 9am-8pm every day – 0843 2898 401 info@pandasfoundation.org.uk [info@pandasfoundation.org.uk] 35. Perinatal Wellbeing Ontario [https://www.perinatalwellbeing.ca/] offer pre-natal, pregnancy and postpartum support and connection in Canada. info@perinatalwellbeing.ca [info@perinatalwellbeing.ca] 36. Petals Baby Loss Charity [https://www.petalscharity.org/] offers free-of-charge specialist counselling to anyone who has experienced pregnancy or baby loss. Tel: 0300 688 0068 counselling@petalscharity.org [counselling@petalscharity.org] 37. The Samaritans [https://www.samaritans.org/] Tel: 116 123 (this is a free telephone number and will not appear on the phone bill) Email: jo@samaritans.org [jo@samaritans.org] 38. Sands... [https://www.sands.org.uk/about-sands]

In this second part of Frontline Midwife Anna Kent's story, Anna talks movingly about her own experience of motherhood, from an early miscarriage to the tragic loss of her baby daughter Fatima at only 6 months gestation, due to a rare brain condition. Anna discusses the impact this had on her mental health and grief, as well as the transformative experience of having her second daughter, Aisha. Anna emphasises the importance of creating safe spaces to discuss and honour baby loss. The episode also highlights Anna's memoir, 'Frontline Midwife,' and the legacy of her late midwife friend, Helen Loewenstein. *Trigger Warning* Miscarriage, baby loss, very brief mention of suicide. In This Episode: [00:00] Teaser quote [01:47] Introducing Anna Kent [03:25] Anna's personal journey with motherhood [04:11] Unexpected pregnancy, distressing miscarriage [09:21] Challenges and decisions during Anna's second pregnancy [14:03] The birth and devastating loss of Fatima [21:38] Coping with grief and moving forward [23:37] Pregnant again, with Aisha [24:59] The need for empathy and compassion in midwifery [26:18] Concentrating on positive birth experiences [29:16] Aisha's birth story [31:15] Balancing grief and love, honouring Fatima's memory [33:42] How to help a grieving parent [40:14] The impact of writing the 'Frontline Midwife' [45:19] Current life and reflections Key Takeaways: 1. Anna Kent's Instagram page [https://www.instagram.com/annakentmidwife/?hl=en] to find out more about Anna and her work. 2. Medecins Sans Frontieres [https://www.msf.org/] (MSF) provide vital medical care and humanitarian assistance to victims of conflict, natural disasters, epidemics or healthcare exclusion in more than 70 countries. 3. A cerebral teratoma is a rare, malignant, and fast-growing tumour that originates in the brain and is made up of multiple tissues. 4. Zephyrs Charity [https://www.zephyrsnottingham.org.uk/] in Nottingham supports families following pregnancy loss or the death of a baby or child.  They run a number of therapeutic support sessions for bereaved parents in the Nottingham area. 5. The Helen Loewenstein Memorial Trust [https://hlmt.org.uk/] was set up to honour Anna’s midwife friend Helen.   We make grants to cover course-fees and essential study expenses for student midwives in Liberia who would not otherwise have sufficient funds to become qualified midwives. 6. Listen to “It’s Not The End: Recovery After Baby Loss’ [https://bluemumdays.captivate.fm/episode/-its-not-the-end-recovery-after-the-devastation-of-stillbirth-keji-moses-of-mayahs-legacy] with the wonderful Keji Moses of Mayah’s Legacy. 7. Click this link to find out more about Keji's charity, Mayah's Legacy [https://www.mayahslegacy.com/] 8. NHS on Miscarriage [https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/miscarriage/afterwards/] information. 9. The Miscarriage Association [https://www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/] is a UK charity providing further support for those experiencing baby loss. 10. Tommys [https://www.tommys.org/donate/support-now?gclid=CjwKCAiAuaKfBhBtEiwAht6H7xhIK8HroaVWmC3EpMqUW1pnAr6uC3OGlsiSV3wTyUNIwRTJ-qw3VRoCVksQAvD_BwE] is the largest charity in the UK carrying out research into the causes of miscarriage, stillbirth and premature birth.  11. Sands Baby Loss Charity [https://www.sands.org.uk/support-you/how-we-offer-support?gclid=CjwKCAiAuaKfBhBtEiwAht6H742zCwnicgaXsUxMtRHm9A4oNvLSVLUjp-ChFlMO7WDi9dednorUtRoCVyYQAvD_BwE] is a UK charity providing information and support for those who've experienced pregnancy loss.  12. Petals Charity [https://www.petalscharity.org/] provide a free counselling service to support women, men and couples through the devastation of baby loss. 13. The Lullaby Trust [https://www.lullabytrust.org.uk/bereavement-support/] offer confidential bereavement support to anyone affected by the sudden and unexpected death of a baby or young child. 14. Bliss Charity [https://www.bliss.org.uk/parents/uncertainty-and-loss/bereavement-support] page on bereavement support with links. 15. Child Bereavement UK [https://www.childbereavementuk.org/when-your-baby-dies?gclid=CjwKCAiAuaKfBhBtEiwAht6H74sd495Nz5YB_tA8MoIVlfOpF9y_pYoFPJiIukh17XiGBhTPpXXDixoC1YQQAvD_BwE] supports families and educates professionals when a child dies or when a child is bereaved. 16. Anna's book, 'Frontline Midwife: Finding Hope in Love, Death and Birth [https://guardianbookshop.com/frontline-midwife-9781526625533/]' is available from Bloomsbury and other good bookshops. It has just been released in paperback. Follow us: Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/bluemumdays/] / Twitter [https://twitter.com/BMumdays] / Facebook Group [https://www.facebook.com/groups/bluemumdays] / bluemumdays@gmail.com [bluemumdays@gmail.com] Taking A Pause: Due to some sad family news, Blue MumDays is going on hiatus, so thank you for your patience while I take some time out. In the meantime, please feel free to listen to the many fantastic conversations I've had in the archive. If you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need. You are not alone and will not feel this way forever. Links to Support: (please note we do not check or monitor them individually). 1.    Acacia Family Support [https://www.acacia.org.uk/bame/mums-dads/] Pre and postnatal depression support for Black, Asian and Minority Ethnic mums and dads.  0121 301 5990, help@acacia.org.uk.  2.    Action on Postpartum Psychosis (APP) [https://www.app-network.org/] Moderated Forum, click here [https://healthunlocked.com/app-network] to find out more. Email: app@app-network.org [app@app-network.org] / Tel: 020 3322 9900 3.    AIMS [https://www.aims.org.uk/] for better birthing. helpline@aims.org.uk [helpline@aims.org.uk]. This email will go to a group of AIMS volunteers and someone will respond as soon as possible. / Telephone: +44 (0) 300 365 0663 (leave message) 4.    Andys Man Club [https://andysmanclub.co.uk/] A non-judgmental talking group for men. info@andysmanclub.co.uk [info@andysmanclub.co.uk] 5.    Association of Postnatal Illness [https://apni.org/] Helpline: 10am – 2pm – 0207 386 0868 / Email: info@apni.org [info@apni.org] (Live chat online facility) 6.    Best Beginnings [https://www.bestbeginnings.org.uk/]. Free NHS-accredited Baby Buddy app [https://www.bestbeginnings.org.uk/baby-buddy] offering 24/7 App support for new parents 7.    Birth Trauma Association [https://www.birthtraumaassociation.org.uk/for-parents/getting-help] Email: support@birthtraumaassociation.org.uk [support@birthtraumaassociation.org.uk] 8.    CALM [https://apni.org/]. National helpline: 0800 58 58 58 (5pm-midnight) 9.    Cedar House Support Group [https://www.cedarhousesupportgroup.com/supportgroups] for mums with postnatal depression. Email: lwise@talktalk.net [lwise@talktalk.net] (Liz Wise) / Mobile: 07773 283556. 10. Contact - for families with disabled children. [https://contact.org.uk/] Helpline: 0808 808 3555. 11. Dad Matters [https://dadmatters.org.uk/]. Support dads to have successful relationships with their families, with mental health and accessing services through peer support and signposting. kierananders@homestarthost.org.uk [kierananders@homestarthost.org.uk] / 0161 344 0669 12. DadsNet [https://www.thedadsnet.com/] offers support and knowledge through a community of dads on practical parenting and fatherhood. 13. Dope Black Dads [https://dopeblack.org/dopeblackdads/] - A digital safe space for fathers who wish to discuss their experiences of being black, a parent and masculinity in the modern world. hello@dopeblack.org 14. Family Lives [https://www.familylives.org.uk/] provides immediate help from volunteer parent support workers 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Helpline: 0808 800 2222. 15. Family Rights Group [https://frg.org.uk/]. Support for parents and other family members whose children are involved with or need social care services. Helpline: 0808 801 0366. 16. Fathers Mental Health UK [https://www.instagram.com/fathersmentalhealth/] is a UK-based community interest company dedicated to enhancing the mental health of fathers and their families, especially during the perinatal period. Run by paternal mental health pioneer Mark Williams, offering support to dads. 17. Fatherhood Solutions [https://www.facebook.com/pmhsupportforparents/?locale=en_GB]. Scott Mair is a consultant in paternal mental health and parent education, Peer support trainer. Dad, Husband, Army veteran.  18. FiveXMore [https://fivexmore.org/]. A grassroots organisation committed to changing Black women and birthing people’s maternal health outcomes in the UK. Email: fivexmore@gmail.com 19. Gingerbread [https://www.gingerbread.org.uk/] offer help and advice on the issues that matter to single parents. Helpline 0808 802 0925. 20. The Hub of Hope [https://hubofhope.co.uk/] - A directory of mental health support around the UK. 21. Lactation Consultants of Great Britain [https://lcgb.org/find-an-ibclc/] – for support with breastfeeding. 22. LGBT Mummies [https://lgbtmummies.com/] support LGBT+ women & people globally on the path to motherhood or parenthood. Email: contact@lgbtmummies.com 23. Make Birth Better (Birth Trauma Support) [https://www.makebirthbetter.org/birth-trauma-support-for-parents] Email: hello@makebirthbetter.org [hello@makebirthbetter.org] 24. The Maternal Mental Health Alliance [https://maternalmentalhealthalliance.org/about-maternal-mental-health/support-mums-and-families/] is a UK charity and network of 130 organisations, dedicated to ensuring women and families affected by perinatal mental health problems have access to high-quality, compassionate care. 25. Maternal OCD [http://www.maternalocd.org/] Peer support available, email info@maternalocd.org [info@maternalocd.org] to arrange. 26. Mayah's Legacy [https://www.mayahslegacy.com/] support and empower anyone who has experienced pregnancy loss to advocate for themselves. Email: info@bigoutreach.org [info@bigoutreach.org] / 0300 102 1596. 27. The Motherhood Group [https://www.themotherhoodgroup.com/about] are dedicated to sharing and supporting the black maternal experience through peer support, projects and advocacy. info@themotherhoodgroup.com [info@themotherhoodgroup.com] 28. Motivational Mums Club [https://www.motivationalmumsclub.com/] offer trauma, mindfulness and meditation sessions for mothers and mums-to-be with an NHS Mental Health Specialist, who’s also a mother. motivationalmumsclub@gmail.com [motivationalmumsclub@gmail.com] 29. Music Football Fatherhood [https://musicfootballfatherhood.com/] offer open conversations around fatherhood, including blogs, peer support and podcasts. hello@musicfootballfatherhood.com 30. Muslim Women’s Network [https://www.mwnhelpline.co.uk/] Helpline: 0800 999 5786, open Mon-Fri 10am–4pm with support offered in English, Urdu, Punjabi, Mirpuri, Putwari, Hindko and Bengali. Email: info@mwnhelpline.co.uk [info@mwnhelpline.co.uk] Text: 07415 206 936. 31. National Autistic Society [https://www.autism.org.uk/] for support and advice for parents and carers of autistic children, including support to develop a greater understanding of their child’s needs and accessing services that meet the family's needs. 32. Netmums [https://www.netmums.com/] offer peer support via their Maternal Mental Health Drop-InClinic [https://www.netmums.com/coffeehouse/drop-clinic-984/maternal-mental-health-995/]. 33. NHS Services for Mental Health Issues [https://www.nhs.uk/nhs-services/mental-health-services/where-to-get-urgent-help-for-mental-health/] Contact your local GP surgery. Call the NHS on 111 and press 2 for Mental Health Team or contact a local NHS urgent mental health helpline [https://www.nhs.uk/service-search/mental-health/find-an-urgent-mental-health-helpline]If you are in crisis, visit Accident & Emergency at your nearest hospital. 34. PANDAS [http://www.pandasfoundation.org.uk/] Helpline open from 9am-8pm every day – 0843 2898 401 info@pandasfoundation.org.uk [info@pandasfoundation.org.uk] 35. Perinatal Wellbeing Ontario [https://www.perinatalwellbeing.ca/] offer pre-natal, pregnancy and postpartum support and connection in Canada. info@perinatalwellbeing.ca [info@perinatalwellbeing.ca] 36. Petals Baby Loss Charity [https://www.petalscharity.org/] offers free-of-charge specialist counselling to anyone who has experienced pregnancy or baby loss. Tel: 0300 688 0068 counselling@petalscharity.org [counselling@petalscharity.org] 37. The Samaritans [https://www.samaritans.org/] Tel: 116 123 (this is a free telephone number and will not appear on the phone bill) Email: jo@samaritans.org [jo@samaritans.org] 38. Sands Charity [https://www.sands.org.uk/about-sands]offer emotional and practical support for anyone affected by the death of a baby. 0808 164 3332 /Email: helpline@sands.org.uk [helpline@sands.org.uk] 39. SHOUT text support service [https://giveusashout.org/get-help/?gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjwvpy5BhDTARIsAHSilynaZa5_W1Ht0LXhTRuGWhAlbCDgikx3ExOBcA0wNSe1Rvq29qF56SEaAu-sEALw_wcB] for anyone struggling to cope. Text SHOUT to 85258 to start a confidential conversation with a trained volunteer. 40. Twins Trust [https://www.twinstrust.org/]. Twinline is a listening service for parents of twins, triplets and more. 0800 138 0509 / email asktwinline@twinstrust.org [asktwinline@twinstrust.org]. 41. Tommy’s [https://www.tommys.org/pregnancy-information/im-pregnant/mental-wellbeing] has a team of in-house midwives who offer free support and information for women and their families at any stage of pregnancy and after the birth. midwife@tommys.org. 42. The Unlikely Mummy [https://www.instagram.com/theunlikelymummy/?hl=en] offers community support for mums and families, including local walking groups, counselling, lactation support and a forest school. Email kavita@theunlikelymummy.co.uk.  Blue MumDays Theme Music by

In this powerful Christmas episode, Anna Kent - a humanitarian aid worker, NHS nurse and midwife - reflects on her experiences working in some of the world's most challenging environments, including South Sudan, Haiti and Bangladesh. She offers an intimate look at the difficulties of providing maternity care in conflict zones and refugee camps, shedding light on the trauma faced by women in these regions. Anna speaks candidly about her personal journey, the emotional toll of working in these high-stress situations and her mission to ensure all women have access to gold-standard maternity care. She opens up about her struggles with PTSD and the challenges of reintegrating into normal life after such intense work. This episode is a moving testament to Anna's resilience, compassion and dedication to advocating for women's health rights in the direst circumstances. An inspiring and sobering reminder of the ongoing fight for equitable maternity care worldwide. *Trigger Warning* Birthing in extreme situations, birth trauma, maternal loss, baby loss and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. In This Episode: [00:00] Teaser quote. [02:20] Introducing Anna Kent, the 'Frontline Midwife'. [04:46] Anna's journey to humanitarian work. [08:35] Her first mission - the challenges and realities of working in South Sudan. [11:11] Honouring the Lady on the Plane. The importance of telling women's stories. [17:12] James: Anna's larger-than-life colleague. [20:10] Life and work in Tam, South Sudan. [25:54] Everyone deserves gold access to maternity care. [30:33] Encounter with a black mamba! [31:26] Life in a tent: a different perspective. [32:53] The struggle of returning home. [33:13] The harsh realities of humanitarian work - trauma and being scared to share. [34:44] Hitting rock bottom. [36:55] Missions to Haiti and Bangladesh - responsible for 30,000 Rohingya refugees. [38:51] Feelings of powerlessness. [39:44] The impact of PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). Flashbacks. [42:43] Seeking help - finding solace in Buddhism and therapy. [48:51] The pressure to save every life. Moral injury. [54:42] Parenting and self-awareness. 1. Key Takeaways: 2. Anna Kent's Instagram page [https://www.instagram.com/annakentmidwife/?hl=en] to find out more about Anna and her work. 3. Medecins Sans Frontieres [https://www.msf.org/] (MSF) provide vital medical care and humanitarian assistance to victims of conflict, natural disasters, epidemics or healthcare exclusion in more than 70 countries. 4. What To Expect article on Cephalopelvic Disproportio [https://www.whattoexpect.com/pregnancy/labor-and-delivery/cephalopelvic-disproportion]n (C.P.D.), a condition where the baby's head or body is too large to fit through the mother's pelvis. 5. Blue MumDays Episode 17 'When Birth Leads to Trauma', [https://BlueMumDaysEpisode17'WhenBirthLeadstoTrauma',] with Dr. Rebecca Moore of Make Birth Better. 6. MIND Charity information on Post Traumatic Stress Disorder [https://MINDCharityinformationonPostTraumaticStressDisorder] (P.T.S.D.), a mental health problem you may develop after experiencing traumatic events. 7. Anna's book, 'Frontline Midwife: Finding Hope in Love, Death and Birth [https://'FrontlineMidwife:FindingHopeinLove,DeathandBirth]' is available from Bloomsbury and other good bookshops. It has just been released in paperback. 8. National Centre of PTSD definition of Moral Injury, [https://NationalCentreofPTSDdefinitionofMoralInjury,] a psychological harm that occurs when someone's values or beliefs are violated or betrayed, or when they witness or fail to prevent such an act. Follow us: Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/bluemumdays/] / Twitter [https://twitter.com/BMumdays] / Facebook Group [https://www.facebook.com/groups/bluemumdays] / bluemumdays@gmail.com [bluemumdays@gmail.com] Next Episode: I continue my conversation with the incredible 'Frontline Midwife' Anna Kent. Having left humanitarian work, Anna talks movingly about her own experience of motherhood, including the heartbreaking loss of her first baby Fatima and the birth of her second daughter Aisha. If you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need. You are not alone and will not feel this way forever. Links to Support: (please note we do not check or monitor them individually). 1.    Acacia Family Support [https://www.acacia.org.uk/bame/mums-dads/] Pre and postnatal depression support for Black, Asian and Minority Ethnic mums and dads.  0121 301 5990, help@acacia.org.uk.  2.    Action on Postpartum Psychosis (APP) [https://www.app-network.org/] Moderated Forum, click here [https://healthunlocked.com/app-network] to find out more. Email: app@app-network.org [app@app-network.org] / Tel: 020 3322 9900 3.    AIMS [https://www.aims.org.uk/] for better birthing. helpline@aims.org.uk [helpline@aims.org.uk]. This email will go to a group of AIMS volunteers and someone will respond as soon as possible. / Telephone: +44 (0) 300 365 0663 (leave message) 4.    Andys Man Club [https://andysmanclub.co.uk/] A non-judgmental talking group for men. info@andysmanclub.co.uk [info@andysmanclub.co.uk] 5.    Association of Postnatal Illness [https://apni.org/] Helpline: 10am – 2pm – 0207 386 0868 / Email: info@apni.org [info@apni.org] (Live chat online facility) 6.    Best Beginnings [https://www.bestbeginnings.org.uk/]. Free NHS-accredited Baby Buddy app [https://www.bestbeginnings.org.uk/baby-buddy] offering 24/7 App support for new parents 7.    Birth Trauma Association [https://www.birthtraumaassociation.org.uk/for-parents/getting-help] Email: support@birthtraumaassociation.org.uk [support@birthtraumaassociation.org.uk] 8.    CALM [https://apni.org/]. National helpline: 0800 58 58 58 (5pm-midnight) 9.    Cedar House Support Group [https://www.cedarhousesupportgroup.com/supportgroups] for mums with postnatal depression. Email: lwise@talktalk.net [lwise@talktalk.net] (Liz Wise) / Mobile: 07773 283556. 10. Contact - for families with disabled children. [https://contact.org.uk/] Helpline: 0808 808 3555. 11. Dad Matters [https://dadmatters.org.uk/]. Support dads to have successful relationships with their families, with mental health and accessing services through peer support and signposting. kierananders@homestarthost.org.uk [kierananders@homestarthost.org.uk] / 0161 344 0669 12. DadsNet [https://www.thedadsnet.com/] offers support and knowledge through a community of dads on practical parenting and fatherhood. 13. Dope Black Dads [https://dopeblack.org/dopeblackdads/] - A digital safe space for fathers who wish to discuss their experiences of being black, a parent and masculinity in the modern world. hello@dopeblack.org 14. Family Lives [https://www.familylives.org.uk/] provides immediate help from volunteer parent support workers 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Helpline: 0808 800 2222. 15. Family Rights Group [https://frg.org.uk/]. Support for parents and other family members whose children are involved with or need social care services. Helpline: 0808 801 0366. 16. Fathers Mental Health UK [https://www.instagram.com/fathersmentalhealth/] is a UK-based community interest company dedicated to enhancing the mental health of fathers and their families, especially during the perinatal period. Run by paternal mental health pioneer Mark Williams, offering support to dads. 17. Fatherhood Solutions [https://www.facebook.com/pmhsupportforparents/?locale=en_GB]. Scott Mair is a consultant in paternal mental health and parent education, Peer support trainer. Dad, Husband, Army veteran.  18. FiveXMore [https://www.fivexmore.com/]. A grassroots organisation committed to changing Black women and birthing people’s maternal health outcomes in the UK. Email: fivexmore@gmail.com 19. Gingerbread [https://www.gingerbread.org.uk/] offer help and advice on the issues that matter to single parents. Helpline 0808 802 0925. 20. The Hub of Hope [https://hubofhope.co.uk/] - A directory of mental health support around the UK. 21. Lactation Consultants of Great Britain [https://lcgb.org/find-an-ibclc/] – for support with breastfeeding. 22. LGBT Mummies [https://lgbtmummies.com/] support LGBT+ women & people globally on the path to motherhood or parenthood. Email: contact@lgbtmummies.com 23. Make Birth Better (Birth Trauma Support) [https://www.makebirthbetter.org/birth-trauma-support-for-parents] Email: hello@makebirthbetter.org [hello@makebirthbetter.org] 24. The Maternal Mental Health Alliance [https://maternalmentalhealthalliance.org/about-maternal-mental-health/support-mums-and-families/] is a UK charity and network of 130 organisations, dedicated to ensuring women and families affected by perinatal mental health problems have access to high-quality, compassionate care. 25. Maternal OCD [http://www.maternalocd.org/] Peer support available, email info@maternalocd.org [info@maternalocd.org] to arrange. 26. Mayah's Legacy [https://www.mayahslegacy.com/] support and empower anyone who has experienced pregnancy loss to advocate for themselves. Email: info@bigoutreach.org [info@bigoutreach.org] / 0300 102 1596. 27. The Motherhood Group [https://www.themotherhoodgroup.com/about] are dedicated to sharing and supporting the black maternal experience through peer support, projects and advocacy. info@themotherhoodgroup.com [info@themotherhoodgroup.com] 28. Motivational Mums Club [https://www.motivationalmumsclub.com/] offer trauma, mindfulness and meditation sessions for mothers and mums-to-be with an NHS Mental Health Specialist, who’s also a mother. motivationalmumsclub@gmail.com [motivationalmumsclub@gmail.com] 29. Music Football Fatherhood [https://musicfootballfatherhood.com/] offer open conversations around fatherhood, including blogs, peer support and podcasts. hello@musicfootballfatherhood.com 30. Muslim Women’s Network [https://www.mwnhelpline.co.uk/] Helpline: 0800 999 5786, open Mon-Fri 10am–4pm with support offered in English, Urdu, Punjabi, Mirpuri, Putwari, Hindko and Bengali. Email: info@mwnhelpline.co.uk [info@mwnhelpline.co.uk] Text: 07415 206 936. 31. National Autistic Society [https://www.autism.org.uk/] for support and advice for parents and carers of autistic children, including support to develop a greater understanding of their child’s needs and accessing services that meet the family's needs. 32. Netmums [https://www.netmums.com/] offer peer support via their Maternal Mental Health Drop-InClinic [https://www.netmums.com/coffeehouse/drop-clinic-984/maternal-mental-health-995/]. 33. NHS Services for Mental Health Issues [https://www.nhs.uk/nhs-services/mental-health-services/where-to-get-urgent-help-for-mental-health/] Contact your local GP surgery. Call the NHS on 111 and press 2 for Mental Health Team or contact a local NHS urgent mental health helpline [https://www.nhs.uk/service-search/mental-health/find-an-urgent-mental-health-helpline]If you are in crisis, visit Accident & Emergency at your nearest hospital. 34. PANDAS [http://www.pandasfoundation.org.uk/] Helpline open from 9am-8pm every day – 0843 2898 401 info@pandasfoundation.org.uk [info@pandasfoundation.org.uk] 35. Perinatal Wellbeing Ontario [https://www.perinatalwellbeing.ca/] offer pre-natal, pregnancy and postpartum support and connection in Canada. info@perinatalwellbeing.ca [info@perinatalwellbeing.ca] 36. Petals Baby Loss Charity [https://www.petalscharity.org/] offers free-of-charge specialist counselling to anyone who has experienced pregnancy or baby loss. Tel: 0300 688 0068 counselling@petalscharity.org [counselling@petalscharity.org] 37. The Samaritans [https://www.samaritans.org/] Tel: 116 123 (this is a free telephone number and will not appear on the phone bill) Email: jo@samaritans.org [jo@samaritans.org] 38. Sands Charity [https://www.sands.org.uk/about-sands]offer emotional and practical support for anyone affected by the death of a baby. 0808 164 3332 /Email: helpline@sands.org.uk [helpline@sands.org.uk] 39. SHOUT text support service [https://giveusashout.org/get-help/?gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjwvpy5BhDTARIsAHSilynaZa5_W1Ht0LXhTRuGWhAlbCDgikx3ExOBcA0wNSe1Rvq29qF56SEaAu-sEALw_wcB] for anyone struggling to cope. Text SHOUT to 85258 to start a confidential conversation with a trained volunteer. 40. Twins Trust [https://www.twinstrust.org/]. Twinline is a listening service for parents of twins, triplets and more. 0800 138 0509 / email asktwinline@twinstrust.org [asktwinline@twinstrust.org]. 41. Tommy’s [https://www.tommys.org/pregnancy-information/im-pregnant/mental-wellbeing] has a team of in-house midwives who offer free support and information for women and their families at any stage of pregnancy and after the birth. midwife@tommys.org. 42. The Unlikely Mummy [https://www.instagram.com/theunlikelymummy/?hl=en] offers community support for mums and families, including local walking groups, counselling, lactation support and a forest school. Email kavita@theunlikelymummy.co.uk.  Blue MumDays Theme Music by Joseph McDade. [https://josephmcdade.com/music]

Kavita Trevena, founder of The Unlikely Mummy, shares her profoundly personal motherhood journey, including gestational diabetes, postnatal depression and being diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder after two stressful births. Kavita also talks about a lack of openness around mental health issues in her culture, and a general lack of support for South Asian mums within maternal care services. Kavita discusses her community-driven initiatives such as The Unlikely Mummy blog, counselling services, exercise therapies, and wellness activities designed to support mothers. Far from being a heavy listen, Kavita was a joy to speak to and our positive conversation underlines a message of hope, resilience, and the importance of creating supportive networks for mothers. *Trigger Warning* Postnatal Depression, Birth Trauma and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder In This Episode: [00:00] Teaser quote. [02:01] Introducing Kavita Trevena: founder of 'The Unlikely Mummy'. [04:30] From being told she couldn't have children to a honeymoon baby - Kavita's journey through pregnancy. [06:34] Discovery and challenges of Gestational Diabetes. [13:16] The birth experience - an emergency caesarean. [20:44] Postpartum struggles and support. [23:16] Creating 'The Unlikely Mummy' community. [28:34] Being diagnosed with PND (Postnatal Depression). [31:04] The need for more support for mums. Growing the Unlikely Mummy to provide community support and specialist services. [34:22] Running for the cause: The Big Half Marathon, raising funds for a Forest School, counselling and lactation consultant sessions. [36:37] Starting a walking club for mums. [40:14] Kavita's second pregnancy: psoriasis and setting up support in advance. [43:10] Diagnosed with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) for her first birth. [47:19] Cultural barriers and lack of support for South Asian mums. [55:23] The Unlikely Mummy: future plans and support. [01:01:45] Final thoughts and encouragement. Key Takeaways: 1. The Unlikely Mummy's Insta page. [https://www.instagram.com/theunlikelymummy/?hl=en]  2. Polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) is a hormonal condition that affects women of reproductive age and is a leading cause of infertility. NHS information on Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. [https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/polycystic-ovary-syndrome-pcos/] It’s believed 1 in 10 women may suffer from PCOS. 3. UK Government information on Gestational Diabetes [https://www.niddk.nih.gov/health-information/diabetes/overview/what-is-diabetes/gestational], a type of diabetes that occurs only during pregnancy. Gestational diabetes can cause health problems in both mother and baby. Support is available from Gestational Diabetes UK. [https://www.gestationaldiabetes.co.uk/] 4. Dr. Hannah Short is a doctor who specialises in menopause and premenstrual disorders. Dr. Hannah Short's website. [https://drhannahshort.co.uk/] Listen to Hannah's episode:  Blue MumDays S2 Ep31: 'The one About Hormones: POI, PMDD, Endometriosis + PME [https://bluemumdays.captivate.fm/episode/the-one-about-hormones-poi-pmdd-pme-dr-hannah-short]. 5. Postnatal depression is depression that happens after you've had a baby. It can range from mild to severe and is more common than you think. Up to 1 in 7 mums are affected and up to 1 in 10 dads. NHS information on Postnatal Depression. [https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/post-natal-depression/overview/] More information can be found here, Royal College of Psychiatrists page on PND. [https://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/mental-health/mental-illnesses-and-mental-health-problems/postnatal-depression-key-facts] 6. CAMHS (Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services) is the name for the NHS services that assess and treat young people with emotional, behavioural or mental health difficulties. Find CAMHS support near you (UK only). [https://www.nhs.uk/service-search/other-health-services/child-and-adolescent-mental-health-services-camhs/] 7. Find out more about the Big Half Marathon [https://www.thebighalf.co.uk/], a 13.1 mile course weaves through London from Tower Bridge to the iconic Cutty Sark in Greenwich.  Donate to Kavita's Go Fund Me here. [https://www.justgiving.com/crowdfunding/theunlikelymummy132?utm_term=Wd5VebE55] 8. NHS information on psoriasis [https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/psoriasis/], an immune-mediated inflammatory skin condition that can be both physically and psychologically distressing. Support and information from the Psoriasis Association [https://www.psoriasis-association.org.uk/], a UK charity. 9. Mind's guide on postnatal PTSD. [https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/postnatal-depression-and-perinatal-mental-health/ptsd-and-birth-trauma/] Blue MumDays S1 Ep17: When Birth Leads to Trauma [https://bluemumdays.captivate.fm/episode/when-birth-leads-to-trauma-dr-rebecca-moore] – listen to my conversation with Make Birth Better’s Dr. Rebecca Moore to learn more about birth trauma. 10. In the UK, postnatal depression is more common in British South Asian women than white women. Cultural stigma can also contribute to Asian mums not seeking help. The ROSHNI-2 Study [https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8693900/] is evaluating the clinical and cost-effectiveness of a CBT(Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) based positive health programme group intervention in British South Asian women with postnatal depression. 11. Mindfulness is a technique that involves being fully aware of the present moment without judgment. Kavita's Mindfulness session for Maternal Mental Health Week. [https://www.facebook.com/watch/live/?ref=watch_permalink&v=203440001395801] 12. Eve Canavan BEM is an award-winning lived experience survivor of postpartum psychosis. She works tirelessly to support mums and families and is the co-founder and National Co-Ordinator of Maternal Mental Health Awareness Week.  Blue MumDays S1 Ep 19: 'Frightened of My Baby' - Eve Canavan [https://bluemumdays.captivate.fm/episode/maternal-mental-health-awareness-week-special-eve-canavan]. 13. For donating to The Unlikely Mummy: Account name: THE UNLIKELY MUMMY C / Sort Code: 51-70-14 / Account Number: 78918855. Follow us: Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/bluemumdays/] / Twitter [https://twitter.com/BMumdays] / Facebook Group [https://www.facebook.com/groups/bluemumdays] / bluemumdays@gmail.com [bluemumdays@gmail.com] Next Episode: Next time I talk to the incredible 'Frontline Midwife' Anna Kent. Anna has delivered babies in war zones, caring for the most vulnerable women in the most vulnerable places in the world, including responsibility for the female health of 30,000 Rohingya refugees in Bangladesh. Anna talks movingly about her own experience of motherhood, including the loss of her first baby Fatima. One of my very favourite conversations, I can't wait for you to hear it! If you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need. You are not alone and will not feel this way forever. Links to Support: (please note we do not check or monitor them individually). 1.    Acacia Family Support [https://www.acacia.org.uk/bame/mums-dads/] Pre and postnatal depression support for Black, Asian and Minority Ethnic mums and dads.  0121 301 5990, help@acacia.org.uk.  2.    Action on Postpartum Psychosis (APP) [https://www.app-network.org/] Moderated Forum, click here [https://healthunlocked.com/app-network] to find out more. Email: app@app-network.org [app@app-network.org] / Tel: 020 3322 9900 3.    AIMS [https://www.aims.org.uk/] for better birthing. helpline@aims.org.uk [helpline@aims.org.uk]. This email will go to a group of AIMS volunteers and someone will respond as soon as possible. / Telephone: +44 (0) 300 365 0663 (leave message) 4.    Andys Man Club [https://andysmanclub.co.uk/] A non-judgmental talking group for men. info@andysmanclub.co.uk [info@andysmanclub.co.uk] 5.    Association of Postnatal Illness [https://apni.org/] Helpline: 10am – 2pm – 0207 386 0868 / Email: info@apni.org [info@apni.org] (Live chat online facility) 6.    Best Beginnings [https://www.bestbeginnings.org.uk/]. Free NHS-accredited Baby Buddy app [https://www.bestbeginnings.org.uk/baby-buddy] offering 24/7 App support for new parents 7.    Birth Trauma Association [https://www.birthtraumaassociation.org.uk/for-parents/getting-help] Email: support@birthtraumaassociation.org.uk [support@birthtraumaassociation.org.uk] 8.    CALM [https://apni.org/]. National helpline: 0800 58 58 58 (5pm-midnight) 9.    Cedar House Support Group [https://www.cedarhousesupportgroup.com/supportgroups] for mums with postnatal depression. Email: lwise@talktalk.net [lwise@talktalk.net] (Liz Wise) / Mobile: 07773 283556. 10. Contact - for families with disabled children. [https://contact.org.uk/] Helpline: 0808 808 3555. 11. Dad Matters [https://dadmatters.org.uk/]. Support dads to have successful relationships with their families, with mental health and accessing services through peer support and signposting. kierananders@homestarthost.org.uk [kierananders@homestarthost.org.uk] / 0161 344 0669 12. DadsNet [https://www.thedadsnet.com/] offers support and knowledge through a community of dads on practical parenting and fatherhood. 13. Dope Black Dads [https://dopeblack.org/dopeblackdads/] - A digital safe space for fathers who wish to discuss their experiences of being black, a parent and masculinity in the modern world. hello@dopeblack.org 14. Family Lives [https://www.familylives.org.uk/] provides immediate help from volunteer parent support workers 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Helpline: 0808 800 2222. 15. Family Rights Group [https://frg.org.uk/]. Support for parents and other family members whose children are involved with or need social care services. Helpline: 0808 801 0366. 16. Fathers Mental Health UK [https://www.instagram.com/fathersmentalhealth/] is a UK-based community interest company dedicated to enhancing the mental health of fathers and their families, especially during the perinatal period. Run by paternal mental health pioneer Mark Williams, offering support to dads. 17. Fatherhood Solutions [https://www.facebook.com/pmhsupportforparents/?locale=en_GB]. Scott Mair is a consultant in paternal mental health and parent education, Peer support trainer. Dad, Husband, Army veteran.  18. FiveXMore [https://www.fivexmore.com/]. A grassroots organisation committed to changing Black women and birthing people’s maternal health outcomes in the UK. Email: fivexmore@gmail.com 19. Gingerbread [https://www.gingerbread.org.uk/] offer help and advice on the issues that matter to single parents. Helpline 0808 802 0925. 20. The Hub of Hope [https://hubofhope.co.uk/] - A directory of mental health support around the UK. 21. Lactation Consultants of Great Britain [https://lcgb.org/find-an-ibclc/] – for support with breastfeeding. 22. LGBT Mummies [https://lgbtmummies.com/] support LGBT+ women & people globally on the path to motherhood or parenthood. Email: contact@lgbtmummies.com 23. Make Birth Better (Birth Trauma Support) [https://www.makebirthbetter.org/birth-trauma-support-for-parents] Email: hello@makebirthbetter.org [hello@makebirthbetter.org] 24. The Maternal Mental Health Alliance [https://maternalmentalhealthalliance.org/about-maternal-mental-health/support-mums-and-families/] is a UK charity and network of 130 organisations, dedicated to ensuring women and families affected by perinatal mental health problems have access to high-quality, compassionate care. 25. Maternal OCD [http://www.maternalocd.org/] Peer support available, email info@maternalocd.org [info@maternalocd.org] to arrange. 26. Mayah's Legacy [https://www.mayahslegacy.com/] support and empower anyone who has experienced pregnancy loss to advocate for themselves. Email: info@bigoutreach.org [info@bigoutreach.org] / 0300 102 1596. 27. The Motherhood Group [https://www.themotherhoodgroup.com/about] are dedicated to sharing and supporting the black maternal experience through peer support, projects and advocacy. info@themotherhoodgroup.com [info@themotherhoodgroup.com] 28. Motivational Mums Club [https://www.motivationalmumsclub.com/] offer trauma, mindfulness and meditation sessions for mothers and mums-to-be with an NHS Mental Health Specialist, who’s also a mother. motivationalmumsclub@gmail.com [motivationalmumsclub@gmail.com] 29. Music Football Fatherhood [https://musicfootballfatherhood.com/] offer open conversations around fatherhood, including blogs, peer support and podcasts. hello@musicfootballfatherhood.com 30. Muslim Women’s Network [https://www.mwnhelpline.co.uk/] Helpline: 0800 999 5786, open Mon-Fri 10am–4pm with support offered in English, Urdu, Punjabi, Mirpuri, Putwari, Hindko and Bengali. Email: info@mwnhelpline.co.uk [info@mwnhelpline.co.uk] Text: 07415 206 936. 31. National Autistic Society [https://www.autism.org.uk/] for support and advice for parents and carers of autistic children, including support to develop a greater understanding of their child’s needs and accessing services that meet the family's needs. 32. Netmums [https://www.netmums.com/] offer peer support via their Maternal Mental Health Drop-InClinic [https://www.netmums.com/coffeehouse/drop-clinic-984/maternal-mental-health-995/]. 33. NHS Services for Mental Health Issues [https://www.nhs.uk/nhs-services/mental-health-services/where-to-get-urgent-help-for-mental-health/] Contact your local GP surgery. Call the NHS on 111 and press 2 for Mental Health Team or contact a local NHS urgent mental health helpline [https://www.nhs.uk/service-search/mental-health/find-an-urgent-mental-health-helpline]If you are in crisis, visit Accident & Emergency at your nearest hospital. 34. PANDAS [http://www.pandasfoundation.org.uk/] Helpline open from 9am-8pm every day – 0843 2898 401 info@pandasfoundation.org.uk [info@pandasfoundation.org.uk] 35. Perinatal Wellbeing Ontario [https://www.perinatalwellbeing.ca/] offer pre-natal, pregnancy and postpartum support and connection in Canada. info@perinatalwellbeing.ca [info@perinatalwellbeing.ca] 36. Petals Baby Loss Charity [https://www.petalscharity.org/] offers free-of-charge specialist counselling to anyone who has experienced pregnancy or baby loss. Tel: 0300 688 0068 counselling@petalscharity.org [counselling@petalscharity.org] 37.