Decidedly I Decision Tips for Business Owners

What happens when you stop playing by the rules and start asking better questions? Where’s the line between healthy dissent and chaos — and why do the best leaders welcome a little pushback? Psychologist and researcher Dr. Todd Kashdan joins us to make the case for principled insubordination — and why compliance culture kills innovation. We’re breaking down how to lead curious teams, challenge bad ideas without blowing things up, and create the kind of environment where the smartest voices aren’t the quietest ones. KEY TOPICS * Why curiosity is inefficient — and why that’s a good thing. * The danger of compliance culture in leadership. * When “too agreeable” becomes your company’s biggest risk. * The art of asking better questions (and why most people don’t). SUBSCRIBE https://www.youtube.com/@decidedlypodcast?sub_confirmation=1 CHAPTERS (00:01) When rebels outperform rule-followers (01:19) Skipping the meeting — and still winning (02:05) The problem with obedience culture (05:56) Why Dr. Kashdan left Wall Street for psychology (07:13) Anxiety, self-awareness, and bad leadership (08:36) Purpose as a cure for social anxiety (10:51) Social skills we lost during COVID (13:47) Are we overusing the word “bullying”? (14:42) You need stress to build strength (16:07) Why popular kids sometimes peak in high school (17:36) The confidence gap nobody talks about (19:30) Why honest feedback is so rare (22:17) Sarcasm, teasing, and intimacy (25:03) How curiosity actually builds connection (29:43) Don’t Google it: The social power of not knowing (32:42) Curiosity vs. the shortcut mindset (34:41) The link between curiosity and memory (36:17) Why some people just aren’t curious (38:24) Curiosity is inefficient — and that’s the point (40:14) The risk of staying “safe” in leadership (43:58) The freshman year lesson that changed everything (45:47) Tailoring leadership to your team (47:46) Smart rebels vs. loose cannons (49:24) When curiosity backfires at work (51:20) Why some employees stop sharing ideas (53:29) How to disagree without blowing things up (56:19) The decision-making checklist your team needs (58:09) Defensive pessimism: The plan B mindset (60:05) Dr. Todd Kashdan's top decision-making tip for business owners CONNECT WITH US ⁠www.decidedlypodcast.com⁠ Instagram⁠: @decidedlypodcast Facebook⁠: https://www.facebook.com/decidedlypodcast Shawn’s ⁠Instagram⁠: @shawn_d_smith Sanger’s ⁠Instagram⁠: @sangersmith Thank you to Shelby Peterson of Transcend Media for editing and post-production of the Decidedly podcast. SANGER’S BOOK A Life Rich with Significance: Transforming Your Wealth to Meaningful Impact⁠: https://www.amazon.com/Life-Rich-Significance-Transforming-Meaningful/dp/1952654769 SHAWN’S BOOK Plateau Jumping: What to Change When Change Is What You Want⁠: https://www.amazon.com/Plateau-Jumping-What-Change-When-ebook/dp/B0CTXHP5HR MAKING A FINANCIAL DECISION? At ⁠Decidedly Wealth Management⁠, we focus on decision-making as the foundational element of success, in our effort to empower families to purposefully apply their wealth to fulfill their values and build a thriving legacy. LEARN MORE: ⁠www.decidedlywealth.com⁠ WEEKLY NEWSLETTER https://visitor.r20.constantcontact.com/manage/optin?v=001aeU_pPBHJPNJWJBdVbaci6bjGIuEJurH12xHBWDEVT_NxyCadMd7wLSZjcEZglkSjDjehuIbTHD8nABOIdV69ctfYpSzg24RCIytetBUrlIPPKgaGzjGZ8DkM0Wp1LMjbErcYUur7PbZGjeVo4gyXlz821AoJGZR⁠ CONNECT WITH DR. TODD KASHDAN Newsletter: https://toddkashdan.substack.com/about Website: https://toddkashdan.com/ The Well-Being Lab (download articles here!): https://toddkashdan.com/well-being-lab/ Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toddkashdan Instagram: @toddkashdan X: @toddkashdan Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/public/Todd-Kashdan Psychology Today Blog: psychologytoday.com/blog/curious Books: https://toddkashdan.com/books/

Have you wondered if the education system is actually preparing the next generation to lead? Do you question whether *real* learning happens within the confines of a classroom? What if the very foundation of how we’ve been taught to think is broken? Matt Beaudreau is on a mission to rebuild the way we raise young people into impactful adults. Through his educational program, Apogee Strong, he’s empowering young people to break free from the limits of the traditional school system and become true leaders—starting with responsibility, character, and action. In this episode, we explore why real education isn't taught in classrooms and how Matt's approach is redefining what it means to be “ready for the real world.”   KEY TOPICS * How to break free from the conformity of the education system to create effective leaders. * What we all need to unlearn from the broken school system we grew up in. * The value of questioning authority, and what that looks like when done effectively. * Why real-world experiences educate to a higher degree of success than a classroom ever will.   CHAPTERS 00:00 Intro: Defeating Bad Decision-Making in Life and Business 03:15 Lessons from "Wasting" Time 08:45 Freedom Within Structure 12:30 Introducing Matt Beaudreau 17:50 From Public School to Revolution: Building New Education Systems 23:10 Education Failures: More Than Just Bad Grades 30:00 Meta Skills: The Missing Link in Education 35:45 Why Academia Isn't the Answer: Real Education Starts Here 42:00 Leadership by Example: Matt’s Approach to Raising Strong Men 48:30 How to Foster Responsibility in Students 54:15 The Role of Entrepreneurship in Education 1:00:00 The Power of Mentorship in Youth Programs 1:05:20 Empowering Students Through Choice and Consequence 1:10:45 The Future of Education: Matt’s Vision 1:16:30 Final Thoughts: How to Rebuild Education Systems That Work   CONNECT WITH US ⁠⁠www.decidedlypodcast.com⁠⁠ [http://www.decidedlypodcast.com] ⁠Watch this episode on YouTube⁠ [https://youtu.be/-XONSxhJVmU] Subscribe on ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠ [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCDL3U7XhG_kdyxoMFL1M8cQ/videos] Instagram⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/decidedlypodcast/]: @decidedlypodcast Facebook⁠⁠ [https://www.facebook.com/decidedlypodcast] Shawn’s ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/shawn_d_smith/]: @shawn_d_smith Sanger’s ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/sangersmith/]: @sangersmith  Thank you to Shelby Peterson of Transcend Media for editing and post-production of the Decidedly podcast.   SANGER’S BOOK: ⁠⁠A Life Rich with Significance: Transforming Your Wealth to Meaningful Impact⁠⁠ [https://www.amazon.com/Life-Rich-Significance-Transforming-Meaningful/dp/1952654769]   SHAWN’S BOOK: ⁠⁠Plateau Jumping: What to Change When Change Is What You Want⁠⁠ [https://www.amazon.com/Plateau-Jumping-What-Change-When-ebook/dp/B0CTXHP5HR]   MAKING A FINANCIAL DECISION? At ⁠⁠Decidedly Wealth Management⁠⁠ [https://www.decidedlywealth.com], we focus on decision-making as the foundational element of success, in our effort to empower families to purposefully apply their wealth to fulfill their values and build a thriving legacy.  LEARN MORE: ⁠⁠www.decidedlywealth.com⁠⁠ [http://www.decidedlywealth.com]   FREE WEEKLY NEWSLETTER https://visitor.r20.constantcontact.com/manage/optin?v=001aeU_pPBHJPNJWJBdVbaci6bjGIuEJurH12xHBWDEVT_NxyCadMd7wLSZjcEZglkSjDjehuIbTHD8nABOIdV69ctfYpSzg24RCIytetBUrlIPPKgaGzjGZ8DkM0Wp1LMjbErcYUur7PbZGjeVo4gyXlz821AoJGZR⁠⁠ [https://visitor.r20.constantcontact.com/manage/optin?v=001aeU_pPBHJPNJWJBdVbaci6bjGIuEJurH12xHBWDEVT_NxyCadMd7wLSZjcEZglkSjDjehuIbTHD8nABOIdV69ctfYpSzg24RCIytetBUrlIPPKgaGzjGZ8DkM0Wp1LMjbErcYUur7PbZGjeVo4gyXlz821AoJGZR]      CONNECT WITH MATT BEAUDREAU Websites: ⁠https://apogeestrong.com⁠ [https://apogeestrong.com] // ⁠https://apogeepays.com⁠ [https://apogeepays.com] Instagram: @mattbeaudreau // @apogeeprogram The Essential 11 Podcast: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/0hh0o1PvIC8c4fE2Wv6LiF⁠ [https://open.spotify.com/show/0hh0o1PvIC8c4fE2Wv6LiF]   Matt founded Acton Academy Placer Schools, using the Socratic method to foster self-directed, independent young leaders. He also co-founded Apogee Strong, a mentorship program for young men, and launched the Apogee Strong Dads Program in 2023. His podcast, The Essential 11, provides leadership insights from global experts. Additionally, Matt founded the Apogee Strong Foundation, offering scholarships to young men for educational and leadership opportunities.Matt Beaudreau is a renowned keynote speaker, consultant, and coach, working with clients like Wells Fargo, Honeywell, and the U.S. Air Force. A two-time TEDx speaker and former Corporate Trainer of the Year at Stanford University, he has spoken to over 250,000 people worldwide.

What do you do with fear that isn’t going away? Akshay Nanavati has walked ahead of Humvees looking for bombs in Iraq, dragged a 400-pound sled across Antarctica, and spent ten days in complete darkness—all in pursuit of one thing: a better relationship with fear. In this episode, heand Sanger talk about the difference between fear and danger, how most of us distract ourselves to avoid stillness, and why “good vibes only” is bad advice. They get into survivors’ guilt, the psychology of endurance, and what to do with emotions that won’t go away.   KEY TOPICS * How survivor’s guilt after war became fuel for Akshay’s purpose. * 10 days in total darkness: What happens when you sit alone with your thoughts. * Why the solitude of Antarctica was harder than the cold. * What you learn about yourself when your body gives out before your mind.   CHAPTERS 00:00 – Intro: Defeating Bad Decisions in Life & Business 00:51 – Letting Go to Move Forward 03:13 – What to Do When You’re Not the Expert 04:49 – Introducing Akshay Nanavati 05:18 – A Job No One Wants: Clearing Bombs in Iraq 07:35 – The Danger of Getting Comfortable 09:49 – Training to Be Brave: Skydiving, Climbing & Confronting Fear 12:03 – The Price of Courage: How Fear Builds Virtue 14:27 – Praying for Patience... and Getting It 16:53 – Fear Propels Preparation 18:33 – How the Dalai Lama Ended Up Writing His Foreword 21:33 – Fear Is the Gateway to Growth, Not the Enemy 23:56 – Turning Survivor’s Guilt Into Purpose 26:20 – The Thought Isn’t the Problem—It’s What You Do With It 28:41 – Addiction, Rock Bottom, and the Decision to Get Still 31:02 – Why Most People Are Scared of Stillness 33:23 – Learning to Sit With the Unanswered Questions 35:49 – What a Darkness Retreat Actually Looks Like 38:09 – Stillness vs. Doing Nothing 40:22 – 60 Days Alone in Antarctica 42:43 – When the Math No Longer Works, But You Keep Going 45:08 – Cutting Weight, Cutting Tags, Cutting Toothbrushes 47:21 – When the Body Breaks Before the Mind 49:41 – Losing Fingers for the Sake of Purpose 51:55 – The Price of Frostbite and the Power of Reframing 54:12 – It’s So Hot in Antarctica... in a Tent? 56:34 – Fearing Failure—and Why That’s a Good Thing 58:57 – How to Know Which Fear Is Worth Facing 01:01:21 – Decision Tip: Think in Versions, Not Pass/Fail 01:01:55 – Where to Connect with Akshay Nanavati 01:02:15 – Key Takeaways 01:03:05 – Message from the Producer   FREE WEEKLY NEWSLETTER [https://lp.constantcontactpages.com/su/4veR8tV/decidedlypodcast]   CONNECT WITH US ⁠www.decidedlypodcast.com⁠ [http://www.decidedlypodcast.com] Watch this episode on YouTube [https://youtu.be/mMCpGRyuhKU] Subscribe on ⁠YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/@decidedlypodcast?sub_confirmation=1] Instagram⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/decidedlypodcast/]: @decidedlypodcast Facebook⁠ [https://www.facebook.com/decidedlypodcast] Shawn’s ⁠Instagram⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/shawn_d_smith/]: @shawn_d_smith Sanger’s ⁠Instagram⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/sangersmith/]: @sangersmith    Thank you to Shelby Peterson of Transcend Media for editingand post-production of the Decidedly podcast.   SANGER’S BOOK: ⁠A Life Rich with Significance: Transforming Your Wealth to Meaningful Impact⁠ [https://www.amazon.com/Life-Rich-Significance-Transforming-Meaningful/dp/1952654769]   SHAWN’S BOOK: ⁠Plateau Jumping: What to Change When Change Is What You Want⁠ [https://www.amazon.com/Plateau-Jumping-What-Change-When-ebook/dp/B0CTXHP5HR]   MAKING A FINANCIAL DECISION? At ⁠Decidedly Wealth Management⁠ [https://www.decidedlywealth.com], we focus on decision-making as the foundational element of success, in our effort to empower families to purposefully apply their wealth to fulfill their values and build a thriving legacy.  LEARN MORE: ⁠www.decidedlywealth.com⁠ [http://www.decidedlywealth.com]   CONNECT WITH AKSHAY NANAVATI Book: https://www.amazon.com/FEARVANA-Revolutionary-Science-Health-Happiness/dp/1630476056/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0 [https://www.amazon.com/FEARVANA-Revolutionary-Science-Health-Happiness/dp/1630476056/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0] Website: https://fearvana.com/ [https://fearvana.com/]YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/fearvana [https://www.youtube.com/c/fearvana]Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fearvana [https://www.instagram.com/fearvana]   Akshay Nanavati is a Marine veteran who walked roads ahead of convoys looking for bombs, overcame PTSD and addiction, and now intentionally seeks out the toughest physical and mental challenges on earth—including dragging a 420-pound sled alone across Antarctica.

Is it possible to become the man you never had as a role model? Ryan Michler didn’t grow up with a blueprint for manhood—but that didn’t stop him from building one. He and Sanger talk about why so many men feel aimless and how stepping up—not faking it—is the way out. They talk about the appeal of distractions like sports and alcohol, the discomfort of starting from zero, and the kind of fulfillment that comes from actually doing hard things.   KEY TOPICS * Why men substitute purpose with stats, screens, and manufactured intimacy. * What happens when young men admire risk—and older men discourage it. * How men get mocked both for not knowing—and for trying to learn. * Why it’s better to take a first step than wait for certainty.   CHAPTERS 00:00 – Intro: Defeating Bad Decisions in Life & Business 00:50 – Learning by Failing on a Ski Trip 03:18 – Meet Ryan Michler: Founder of Order of Man 04:20 – Growing Up Without a Present Dad 06:48 – Can You Still Learn Manhood as an Adult? 08:27 – Why Men Hide What They Don’t Know 09:14 – The Catch-22 of Men Asking for Help 10:51 – Why Not Knowing Feels Like a Threat 11:38 – How Ego Blocks Growth 13:43 – Finding Mentors & Letting Go of Pride 16:08 – Why Ryan Walked Away from His Firm 18:26 – Taking the Leap Toward Autonomy 20:53 – Rebuilding on Your Own Terms 23:09 – Why Advice Often Reflects Regret 25:33 – Vested Interests & Biased Guidance 27:46 – Seeking Deeper Purpose in Friendships 29:49 – Choosing Relationships Intentionally 31:03 – Escaping Into Sports When Life Lacks Purpose 34:42 – False Meaning in Porn, Alcohol, & Ego 37:02 – What Are You Escaping From? 39:22 – Balance Is a Constant Act 41:45 – Why Fulfillment Beats Happiness 44:09 – You Don’t Find Purpose—You Build It 46:25 – Podcasting & the Birth of Order of Man 48:50 – Try What Interests You (Without Attachments) 51:11 – Ryan’s Battle Plan: 4 Areas of Purpose 53:13 – Decision Tip: Find Someone Who’s Done It 53:21 – Where to Connect with Ryan Michler 54:15 – Key Takeaways 54:50 – Message from the Producer   FREE WEEKLY NEWSLETTER [https://lp.constantcontactpages.com/su/4veR8tV/decidedlypodcast]   CONNECT WITH US ⁠www.decidedlypodcast.com⁠ [http://www.decidedlypodcast.com] Watch this episode on YouTube [https://youtu.be/-Ji3iT3VqGk] Subscribe on ⁠YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/@decidedlypodcast?sub_confirmation=1] Join us on ⁠Instagram⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/decidedlypodcast/]: @decidedlypodcast Join us on ⁠Facebook⁠ [https://www.facebook.com/decidedlypodcast] Shawn’s ⁠Instagram⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/shawn_d_smith/]: @shawn_d_smith Sanger’s Instagram⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/sangersmith/]: @sangersmith    Thank you to Shelby Peterson of Transcend Media for editingand post-production of the Decidedly podcast.   SANGER’S BOOK: ⁠A Life Rich with Significance: Transforming Your Wealth to Meaningful Impact⁠ [https://www.amazon.com/Life-Rich-Significance-Transforming-Meaningful/dp/1952654769]   SHAWN’S BOOK: ⁠Plateau Jumping: What to Change When Change Is What You Want⁠ [https://www.amazon.com/Plateau-Jumping-What-Change-When-ebook/dp/B0CTXHP5HR]   MAKING A FINANCIAL DECISION? At ⁠Decidedly Wealth Management⁠ [https://www.decidedlywealth.com], we focus on decision-making as the foundational element of success, in our effort to empower families to purposefully apply their wealth to fulfill their values and build a thriving legacy.  LEARN MORE: ⁠www.decidedlywealth.com⁠ [http://www.decidedlywealth.com]   CONNECT WITH RYAN MICHLER Website: https://orderofman.com/ [https://orderofman.com/] Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ryanmichler [https://www.instagram.com/ryanmichler] & https://www.instagram.com/orderofman/ [https://www.instagram.com/orderofman/] Order of Man Podcast: https://orderofman.com/podcast-2/ [https://orderofman.com/podcast-2/] Sovereignty: The Battle for the Hearts and Minds of Men: https://store.orderofman.com/collections/planners-and-journals/products/sovereignty-signed-copy?_gl=1*of6zq8*_gcl_au*NDMyNjcwMTcuMTc0MjMyNzQ5Ng..*_ga*MTY3ODY4MTk5LjE3Mzg1OTM0NTU.*_ga_MHSG4VQ94E*MTc0MjQxNjk5NC40LjEuMTc0MjQxNzQwMS4wLjAuMA [https://store.orderofman.com/collections/planners-and-journals/products/sovereignty-signed-copy?_gl=1*of6zq8*_gcl_au*NDMyNjcwMTcuMTc0MjMyNzQ5Ng..*_ga*MTY3ODY4MTk5LjE3Mzg1OTM0NTU.*_ga_MHSG4VQ94E*MTc0MjQxNjk5NC40LjEuMTc0MjQxNzQwMS4wLjAuMA]    Ryan Michler unapologetically harnesses the authentic masculinity modern culture has lost. He challenges men to reject complacency, reclaim clarity, and boldly lead at home, in business, and in their communities through Order of Man.

Some red flags don’t look like red flags until it’s too late. And when it comes to relationships and money, the costcan be devastating. Emily Rose—known as Mama Wilder—found herselfin a financially abusive marriage, pregnant and alone, and had to build a safe, stable life from scratch. Now she’s helping other women do the same through her nonprofit work, Instagram advocacy, and real-talk conversations like this one. We’re talking about the signs of financial abuse, why “traditional” family dynamics can mask toxic control, how secrecy around money creates generational harm, and how to build relationships rooted in trust, transparency, and shared decision-making.   KEY TOPICS What healthy financial transparency looks like in a relationship. How early childhood scripts shape beliefs about healthy relationships with people and finances. How normalizing secrecy around money keeps dangerouscycles in place. How wealth can be used as a weapon—or a lifeline.   CHAPTERS 00:00 – Intro: Defeating Bad Decision-Making in Life & Business 00:49 – Sanger Brags on His Wife for Owning Motherhood 03:12 – Meet Emily Rose 06:24 – Subtle Conditioning That Leads to Financial Abuse  08:36 – Why Her Nonprofit Gives Women Cash with No Strings Attached  13:19 – Infantilizing Women: A Common Thread Across Systems  15:46 – The Framework That Set Her Up for an Abusive Marriage  20:33 – Recognizing the Moment: “This Isn’t Normal”  22:56 – How Her Family Reacted (and Why Her Mom Funded Her Abuser’s Legal Fees)  27:43 – Generational Blind Spots Around Abuse and Money  32:10 – How Culture Shapes What We See as ‘Normal’ in Relationships 34:37 – Why Financial Secrecy in Marriage Is So Dangerous  37:03 – Raising Kids to Be Financially Literate (and Why That Starts with Honesty)  41:44 – Breaking Cycles and Teaching Healthy Money Dynamics  44:07 – The Family Power Plays That Fuel Financial Abuse  46:31 – What Happens When Inheritance Replaces Financial Empowerment  48:53 – The Family Member Who Showed Up (and What That Meant for Her Kids)  51:13 – Dating Again with Boundaries, Standards, and Transparency  55:58 – The Guy Who Paid for the Babysitter (and Set the Bar)  58:18 – A Courtroom Bombshell and a Wedding the Next Day  59:40 – Where to Connect with Emily 59:55 – Key Takeaways 1:00:49 – Message from the Producer   FREE WEEKLY NEWSLETTER [https://lp.constantcontactpages.com/su/4veR8tV/decidedlypodcast]   CONNECT WITH US ⁠www.decidedlypodcast.com⁠ [http://www.decidedlypodcast.com/] Watch this episode on YouTube [https://youtu.be/Z2s4f8YyYDg/] Subscribe on ⁠YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/@decidedlypodcast?sub_confirmation=1] ⁠Instagram⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/decidedlypodcast/] Facebook⁠ [https://www.facebook.com/decidedlypodcast]    Thank you to Shelby Peterson of Transcend Media for editingand post-production of the Decidedly podcast.   SANGER’S BOOK: ⁠A Life Rich with Significance: Transforming Your Wealth to Meaningful Impact⁠ [https://www.amazon.com/Life-Rich-Significance-Transforming-Meaningful/dp/1952654769]   SHAWN’S BOOK: ⁠Plateau Jumping: What to Change When Change Is What You Want⁠ [https://www.amazon.com/Plateau-Jumping-What-Change-When-ebook/dp/B0CTXHP5HR]   MAKING A FINANCIAL DECISION? At ⁠Decidedly Wealth Management⁠ [https://www.decidedlywealth.com/], we focus on decision-making as the foundational element of success, in our effort to empower families to purposefully apply their wealth to fulfill their values and build a thriving legacy.  LEARN MORE: ⁠www.decidedlywealth.com⁠ [http://www.decidedlywealth.com/]   CONNECT WITH EMILY ROSE Instagram: @mama_wilder [https://www.instagram.com/mama_wilder/] Mama Wilder Foundation: https://themamawilderfoundation.org/ [https://themamawilderfoundation.org/] Website: https://www.mamawilderonline.com/ [https://www.mamawilderonline.com/]   Emily, the face of "Mama Wilder" on social media, spearheaded the Mama Wilder Foundation in 2021, when she began to utilize her platform to raise money for women in similar crises as her own. Having survived family and criminal court not totally unscathed, she spends her time homeschooling her three kids, embracing the beauty of Western Colorado, and supporting her husband in his business and legal ventures.    She uses her BA in Women & Gender Studies educating the masses on coercive control, financial abuse, and the importance of women's autonomy in healthcare. The bulk of the Mama Wilder Foundation’s funding comes from Emily's social media presence and passive income generated through her platforms.