Trailer

Elephant Poop Coffee, Smart Potties & Pap Smears

That sound of flushing? It's in F flat, and it's the most expensive and absurd episode we've ever recorded. Warning: This episode contains discussions of elephant dung, celebrity bathroom mishaps, and the kind of health advice that'll actually make you comfortable talking to your doctor. We're blending high-end bathroom luxury with real medical conversations, and somehow it all makes sense. This week, Johnny's diving into the world's most questionable coffee, Black Ivory Coffee, which is literally made from beans that have passed through an elephant's digestive system. Yes, you read that right. Elephants eat coffee cherries, digest them, poop them out, and then someone collects that poop and charges you $500 a cup. It's absurd, it's luxurious, and it's absolutely happening. But we're not just here to talk about fancy elephant feces. Johnny's also introducing the Celebrity Leaks contest (because let's be honest, famous people have bathroom emergencies too), revealing the mind-bending features of a $10,000 smart potty, and bringing in real doctor advice about women's health because apparently, men need permission to ask their partners about their bodies. Plus, there's a joke about a brown and sticky stick that'll either make you groan or laugh. Probably both. In This Episode: * The amusing science of toilet sounds and why the flush is in F flat (it's intentional, people) * Real doctor advice on discussing women's health naturally—because awkwardness shouldn't be a barrier * How men can actually support women's health by asking questions with genuine care * The Celebrity Leaks contest: submit your celebrity bathroom mishap stories for a chance to win a gold plunger * Black Ivory Coffee: the luxury coffee made from elephant poop and costing $500 a cup * The actual job of "coffee bean shitter" and what it's like in Thailand * Why someone decided this was a good idea (spoiler: money) * The $10,000 smart potty: heated seat, bidet, air-drying, and personal comfort features that'll change your life * Johnny's bathroom-based contest with QR codes in public spaces (the viral toilet tour begins) * A joke about a brown and sticky stick that's either brilliant or terrible (you decide) * Sneak peeks at upcoming episodes: flushing bad bosses and the Absolution Solution for your sins Timely Flush: Black Ivory Coffee is produced by only about 300 elephants in Thailand, making it rarer than most luxury goods. Meanwhile, the global smart toilet market is exploding, with the wellness bathroom segment growing at 23% annually. We're living in a world where you can drink elephant poop coffee while sitting on a throne that knows your temperature preferences. What a time to be alive. Chapters: * 00:00 – Introduction to Johnny's Potty Podcast and the Flushing Sound in F Flat * 00:29 – Advice from Dr. R on Discussing Women's Health Naturally * 00:57 – How Men Can Support Women by Asking About Health Issues with Care * 01:27 – Celebrity Leaks Contest Details and How to Participate * 02:26 – The Bizarre Story of Black Ivory Coffee * 03:54 – The Job of Coffee Bean Shitter and Thai Coffee from Elephant Dung * 04:24 – The Luxury Features of Johnny's $10,000 Smart Potty * 04:53 – Announcement of Johnny's Potty Contest with QR Codes * 05:23 – Johnny's Joke About a Brown and Sticky Stick and Episode Teasers * 05:50 – Closing Thoughts and Social Media Follow Encouragement   Resources & Contest Info: * CELEBRITY LEAKS CONTEST: Email your guesses to JohnnyPodycast@gmail.com [JohnnyPodycast@gmail.com] — Match the celebrity urine sound to the urinator and win a golden plunger + autographed roll of toilet paper * Black Ivory Coffee - https://blackivorycoffee.com/ [https://blackivorycoffee.com/] Don't forget to follow us on Shitter. Connect with Johnny: * Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/johnnyonthepotty/ EPISODE CREDITS: Creator and Host, Johnny La Rock Brand Architect, Marta La Rock, Ph.D. Executive Producer, Erin Sweeney Audio Engineer, George Gross Agency, Deybruyar Music licensed through Artlist String Quartet No. 19 in C Major, K. 465 (‘Dissonance’)” by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. Performed by Musopen. Licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 4.0.   LINKS: Be sure to send us topic request at johnnypottycast@gmail.com!

The Shocking Truth About Airplane Bathrooms

That sound of flushing? That's 35,000 feet in the air, and you're trapped in a box smaller than a dishwasher. Ever wondered why airline bathrooms feel like they were designed by someone who hates humanity? Wonder no more. This week, Johnny takes flight into the wild world of airplane toilet design, where your only options are "squeeze in awkwardly" or "hold it for six hours." Spoiler alert: neither is great for your urinary tract. But this episode isn't just about laughing at your misery (though we do plenty of that). Johnny's teaming up with health facts, bacteria science, and some genuinely helpful advice to explain why flying is basically a petri dish with wings. From the E. coli lurking in airline water to the nasty bacteria with hooks and bulging bodies that cause infections, this is the episode that'll make you think twice before touching anything on a plane. And because we can't resist a good pun opportunity, we're also diving into the future of bathroom technology, smart toilets that'll clean you, warm you, and even dry you with UV light. It's like flying first class for your rear end. In This Episode: * Airplane bathrooms are only 22.4 inches wide, smaller than your dishwasher and twice as terrifying * The physics of pooping at 35,000 feet (spoiler: it's not ideal) * Why airline water is basically a science experiment gone wrong * E. coli, bacteria with hooks, and other horrors lurking in airline food and water * Understanding urinary infections: what bad bacteria actually look like (bulging bodies and all) * Why "Never wash your hands on the airline" is actually solid advice * How urinary infections develop and why prompt treatment matters * Smart toilet innovations: cleaning, warming, UV drying, and the future of bathroom tech * Celebrity leaks and potty humor: because sometimes famous people have bathroom crises too * Using humor to discuss serious health topics without the ick factor Timely Flush: According to the FAA, airplane lavatories are serviced approximately every 2-3 hours, but the water stored in planes can harbor bacteria including E. coli. Meanwhile, smart toilet technology is advancing faster than airline bathroom design—which isn't saying much. If you're flying soon, maybe spring for that aisle seat and start practicing your meditation techniques. Chapters: * 00:00 – The Challenges of Airplane Bathrooms * 02:54 – Understanding Urinary Infections * 05:47 – Celebrity Leaks and Potty Humor Don't forget to follow us on Shitter. EPISODE CREDITS: Creator and Host, Johnny La Rock Brand Architect, Marta La Rock, Ph.D. Executive Producer, Erin Sweeney Audio Engineer, George Gross Agency, Deybruyar Music licensed through Artlist String Quartet No. 19 in C Major, K. 465 (‘Dissonance’)” by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. Performed by Musopen. Licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 4.0.   LINKS: Be sure to send us topic request at johnnypottycast@gmail.com!

World Cup Sh*t Show

That sound of flushing? That's New York City's infrastructure going down the drain during the World Cup. The World Cup is coming to NYC, and the city that never sleeps is about to become the city that can't pee. While FIFA's busy counting their billions, New York's scrambling to figure out where millions of soccer fans are supposed to answer nature's call. Spoiler alert: there aren't enough public toilets, and Johnny's got some ideas that are equal parts brilliant and borderline criminal. This week, Johnny tackles the biggest crap crisis since Montezuma's Revenge, literally. We're talking bathroom shortages, entrepreneurial opportunities (rent out your toilet for $50 a flush, anyone?), and the kind of social commentary that only makes sense when you're sitting on the throne contemplating humanity's failures. But wait, there's more! The Absolution Solution returns with listener confessions that'll make you feel better about your own questionable life choices. Love, AI, dead butterflies, and guilt. We've got it all. It's part social commentary, part confession booth, all bathroom. In This Episode: * The World Cup bathroom apocalypse: when millions need to go and nowhere to go * NYC's public toilet deficit and why it's about to get really messy * Johnny's satirical business plan: monetizing your home bathroom during the World Cup * How to profit from portable toilets (legally... mostly) * The Absolution Solution: Love and AI (yes, someone fell for a chatbot) * Seeking Forgiveness: A Butterfly's Fate (RIP little guy, it was an accident) * Why bathroom access is a human rights issue disguised as a punchline * Listener stories about morality, guilt, and making peace with your mistakes * "Johnny on the potty to the rescue" with solutions to NYC's porcelain problem Timely Flush: With the 2026 FIFA World Cup bringing an estimated 3.5 million visitors to NYC and the city currently offering approximately 1 public toilet per 8,000 residents, this episode couldn't be more relevant. The crisis is real, people. The solutions? Well, Johnny's got some ideas. Chapters: * 00:00 – World Cup and Public Toilets in NYC * 04:19 – Absolution Solution: Love and AI * 06:44 – Seeking Forgiveness: A Butterfly's Fate * 07:14 – Upcoming Segments and Shitty Topics Resources: * Johnny's on the Potty Podcast - https://example.com/johnnys-on-the-potty [https://example.com/johnnys-on-the-potty] * New York City Official Toilet Plan - https://nyc.gov/toilets [https://nyc.gov/toilets] * Smart Toilet Technologies - https://smarttoilets.com [https://smarttoilets.com] Don't forget to follow us on Shitter. EPISODE CREDITS: Creator and Host, Johnny La Rock Brand Architect, Marta La Rock, Ph.D. Executive Producer, Erin Sweeney Audio Engineer, George Gross Agency, Deybruyar Music licensed through Artlist String Quartet No. 19 in C Major, K. 465 (‘Dissonance’)” by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. Performed by Musopen. Licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 4.0.   LINKS: Be sure to send us topic request at johnnypottycast@gmail.com!

Introducing 2Ply, The Soft Rapper

That sound of flushing? That's 2Ply The Soft Rapper dropping bars and truth bombs from the throne. You thought this was just another bathroom humor podcast? Wrong. This week, Johnny brings hip-hop to the bathroom with none other than 2Ply The Soft Rapper, the MC who keeps it real, keeps it clean (well, kind of), and spits verses that'll make you laugh, cry, and question every lie you've ever told. 2Ply isn't your average MC. While other rappers brag about cash and cars, this guy's out here preaching honesty, parenting wisdom, and the importance of checking on your loved ones' health. He's soft on skin but hard on the mic, gentle with his loved ones but ruthless with the truth. It's like if Kendrick Lamar did a TED Talk on a toilet, and honestly? We're here for it. From "Your lives are flushed" to his heartfelt plea to "Please help me be a civilian again," 2Ply The Rapper brings raw authenticity to Johnny's porcelain stage. This episode proves that sometimes the realest conversations happen in the bathroom, and sometimes the best life advice comes wrapped in bathroom humor and sick beats. In This Episode: * 2Ply: "I'm the guy, the one they call 2Ply" * The Absolution Solution: flushing away sins, one honest bar at a time * Hip-hop meets bathroom wisdom in the most unexpected collaboration * Tales of Truth and Lies: why 2Ply keeps it 100, even when it's messy * Parenting bars that hit harder than a double-ply wipe * The real meaning behind "Your lives are flushed" (spoiler: it's deeper than you think) * 2Ply's plea: "Please help me be a civilian again" and what it means to stay authentic * Why caring for your loved ones' health is the realest flex * How humor and hip-hop help us process life's crappiest moments Timely Flush: In an era where authenticity is currency and everyone's faking it 'til they make it, 2Ply proves that keeping it real, even from the bathroom, is the ultimate power move. Soft on skin, hard on the mic, and always 100% honest. Chapters: * 00:00 – Introduction to Johnny's PottyCast  * 00:51 – Crapper Credo by 2Ply * 02:16 – The Absolution Solution: Flushing Sins * 04:24 – Tales of Truth and Lies * 10:44 – Upcoming Segments and Conclusion Don't forget to follow us on Shitter. EPISODE CREDITS: Creator and Host, Johnny La Rock Brand Architect, Marta La Rock, Ph.D. Executive Producer, Erin Sweeney Audio Engineer, George Gross Agency, Deybruyar Music licensed through Artlist String Quartet No. 19 in C Major, K. 465 (‘Dissonance’)” by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. Performed by Musopen. Licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 4.0.   LINKS: Be sure to send us topic request at johnnypottycast@gmail.com!

Winnie-the-Poop

That sound you hear? That's the future of bathroom technology flushing away your last shred of dignity. You think you know toilets? Think again. While you've been doing your business the old-fashioned way like some kind of caveman, there's a whole world of $10,000 smart toilets out there that'll heat your seat, play you music, analyze your... output... and probably judge you for that late-night Taco Bell run. This week, Johnny parks himself on the porcelain throne for a solo session that'll blow your mind (and possibly other things). We're talking smart toilets that do everything except your taxes, bizarre bathroom statistics that'll make you question your entire existence, and workplace bathroom anxiety that's more real than you think. Did you know you'll poop 26,000 pounds in your lifetime? That's roughly the weight of three elephants. Speaking of elephants, stick around 'til the end because we're teasing something big involving elephant coffee and some very special co-hosts named PP and Poo Poo. In This Episode: * The $10,000 smart toilet that's smarter than your phone (and more judgmental) * The Great Goldfish Flush: RIP Nemo, we hardly knew ye * Why dining on the potty is more common than you think (and why Johnny doesn't judge) * Workplace bathroom anxiety: the struggle is real, folks * The world record for longest time spent on the toilet (spoiler: it's longer than your last Netflix binge) * Diarrhea as a legitimate getaway weapon (yes, really) * Meet PP and Poo Poo: your new favorite co-hosts (coming soon) * The staggering 26,000-pound truth about your lifetime bathroom output Timely Flush: Smart toilet sales have surged 347% in the past year, with the average American now spending 23 minutes per bathroom visit on their phone. If you're going to spend that much time in there anyway, might as well have a seat that heats itself, right? Chapters: * 00:00 – Welcome to the Pottycast! * 02:54 – The Great Goldfish Flush * 05:11 – Dining on the Potty * 06:56 – Workplace Bathroom Anxiety * 09:24 – Record-Breaking Potty Time * 10:47 – Diarrhea as a Getaway Weapon Resources: * Guinness World Records - Longest Potty Sit - https://www.guinnessworldrecords.com/records/longest-time-spent-on-the-toilet [https://www.guinnessworldrecords.com/records/longest-time-spent-on-the-toilet] * MIT Human Waste Project - https://web.mit.edu/humanwaste [https://web.mit.edu/humanwaste] * NASA Space Toilet Development - https://www.nasa.gov/spacetoilet [https://www.nasa.gov/spacetoilet] Don't forget to follow us on Shitter. EPISODE CREDITS: Creator and Host, Johnny La Rock Brand Architect, Marta La Rock, Ph.D. Executive Producer, Erin Sweeney Audio Engineer, George Gross Agency, Deybruyar Music licensed through Artlist String Quartet No. 19 in C Major, K. 465 (‘Dissonance’)” by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. Performed by Musopen. Licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 4.0.   LINKS: Be sure to send us topic request at johnnypottycast@gmail.com!