When Your Spouse Says No to Intimacy

Should you change your name after divorce?

Should you change your name after a divorce? What do you do when your wife has a chronic, incurable illness, and most of the responsibilities at home fall on you and your children? How do you cope when your wife feels guilty and worries about the burden placed on you? Do struggles with pornography make it difficult to give full consent to marriage? Doug goes to the mailbag answering these questions and more.   Listener questions and comments: * Pete - My friend is so hurt from his separation that he is withdrawing from everything in his life. What do we do? (9:34) * Ronda - Regarding a name change after divorced, you should do what makes you feel more comfortable. (13:44) * Rose - I kept my name after the divorce because I wanted to have the same name as my kids. (17:02) * Jeff - My wife had an ex-husband and had kids with me and now they have the old husband’s name. It’s a mess. (22:46) * Mary - I kept mine because I am a stander and we are still married in the eyes of God. (25:24) * Sarina - My mom changed her name and that’s how I met my husband. (38:05) * Mary - It’s important to realize that marriage is sacrificial and it doesn’t always lead to happiness (39:48) * Angelica - I was married for 16 years and I took my name back because my in laws didn’t like me. I didn’t think it was fair and I explained it to my son. (41:49)   Resources:   https://www.federalregister.gov/documents/2026/05/13/2026-09479/excepted-fertility-benefits?mc_cid=583286c936#open-comment [https://www.federalregister.gov/documents/2026/05/13/2026-09479/excepted-fertility-benefits?mc_cid=583286c936#open-comment]   It’s Your Turn Now https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=urgp4IiOXDk [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=urgp4IiOXDk]   Reclaimed: Win the War of Freedom, Self-Mastery, and Holy Purity https://scepterpublishers.org/products/reclaimed-win-the-war-of-freedom-self-mastery-and-holy-purity?srsltid=AfmBOorMA4RbYh_WzayDVdBX3vpx7hGA7-OpnEEYKLuUlxpeZ4EPp1lp&variant=46653355524273 [https://scepterpublishers.org/products/reclaimed-win-the-war-of-freedom-self-mastery-and-holy-purity?srsltid=AfmBOorMA4RbYh_WzayDVdBX3vpx7hGA7-OpnEEYKLuUlxpeZ4EPp1lp&variant=46653355524273]

Rules for Relationships

Relationship coach Rose Sweet joins Doug to discuss the foundations of good marriages.   Listener questions and comments: * Denise - My boyfriend’s best friend is a concern to me. He wants me to meet her and her husband. I feel weird about it. (9:38) * Shirley - My daughter is 'Christian' but has a second marriage. The kid from the first marriage still lives at home at 34. Is my daughter putting her kids before her husband? (19:07) * LeeAnn - I was in a friendship with a guy but then he got married and I took the hint and distanced myself from him. (25:55)   Resources: Rules for relationships 1. Listen 2. Lead 3. Love 4. Let go   Rose Sweet https://rosesweet.com/ [https://rosesweet.com/]

Marriage Across Different Seasons

You be the therapist as Doug shares the stories of two couples—one celebrating 30 years of marriage and the other just beginning their journey as newlyweds.   Listener questions and comments: * Joe - My wife has decided to leave the Church and had a sterilization without my consent. What do I do? (5:02) * Mary - Comment for Joe: His wife did what she did because she felt like she had no control over her pain. She needs to feel like she is in control. (16:57) * Joe - Is it a bad idea to elope? I want it to be valid but I want my parents not to know. (20:58) * Mary - Comment: if I had ever met a man like Doug, I would be happily married but I should have never got married. My husband is dead but he was a pain in the butt. (34:34) * David - For the 30-year marriage one of them or both have given up hope on communicating with each other. There needs to be a safe place to go where they can share the pain and get through it. (39:57) * Jennifer - For the younger couple they need to sit down and have a clear goal about what they are doing to get out of the house and maybe doing more things that get them out of the house. (43:39)   Resources:   Catholic Therapists https://catholictherapists.com/ [https://catholictherapists.com/]   Catholic Psychotherapy https://catholicpsychotherapy.org/ [https://catholicpsychotherapy.org/]   Emotionally Focused Therapy https://iceeft.com/ [https://iceeft.com/]

Self-Love in Marriage

Does self-love harm a marriage? Do you struggle with the idea or think that marriage is all about selfless service? Today, Doug looks at self-love in marriage through the lens of Luke 10:27 and Matthew 5:44.   Listener questions and comments: * Anne - I agree with you and I would add that respect for yourself is respecting God because he made us out of love. (9:13) * Deedee - What does it mean to be made in the image and likeness of God? (37:42) * Ron - I have some examples of how I help myself when my wife starts to become my enemy. I also loved that litany. (39:56)   Resources: Litany of Self-Love https://www.thefaceofmercy.org/blog/litany-of-self-love [https://www.thefaceofmercy.org/blog/litany-of-self-love]   Showing unconditional love 1. Smile when you don’t feel like it 2. Say a kind word 3. Give a compliment every day 4. Refrain from criticism or harsh words 5. Serve your spouse without announcing it 6. Apologize quickly 7. Forgive immediately 8. Pray for your spouse every day   5 elements to a good apology 1. Regret 2. Rational 3. Responsibility 4. Repentance 5. Repair

Overcoming Anxiety

Catherine DiNuzzo joins Doug to discuss anxiety from a Catholic perspective. They define good vs bad anxiety, the problem of guilt and how to manage anxiety as a Catholic.   Listener questions and comments: * Jasmine - How do I fight my mind that triggers anxiety even if I’m doing okay? (10:19) * Rose - I get anxiety around my kids but I don’t want to share with my kids. What do I say? (35:21) * Judy - I have had anxiety when other people are driving. What should I do? (39:59)   Resources: Sacred Heart Mental Wellness https://www.sacredheartmentalwellness.com/ [https://www.sacredheartmentalwellness.com/]