Escuchar Surviving Narcissism - Narcissist Rehab

This episode I dive deep into where I am currently in my journey recovering from Narcissism. I felt compelled to share this personal message, to help you understand how important it is to learn to love yourself again. I want to be transparent and hope this helps provide insight in your journey.

If you are in a relationship with a narcissist, you will have been through a roller-coaster of ups and downs. Some narcissists live through others in hopes of boosting their own low self-esteem or vicariously fulfilling their own unrealized fantasies and dreams.  Underneath their façade is toxic shame, which may even be unconscious. Shame makes narcissists feel insecure and inadequate―vulnerable feelings that they must deny to themselves and others. This is one reason that they can’t take criticism, responsibility, dissent, or negative feedback even when meant to be constructive. Instead, they demand unconditional, positive regard from others A weakness of a narcissist is their extreme hatred of being embarrassed. There is nothing worse for them than having someone point out even the slightest fault. Ironically, they have no problem openly doing this to others. ... Here are eleven ways a narcissist uses shame to control others. The biggest impact you can make on attacking a narcissist at their Achilles Heel is loss of power, and loss of complete control of their victim. They’ve been working extremely hard around the clock to convince you, through constant manipulation, emotionally beating you down, and keeping disconnected from reality that once they lose control of you; be prepared for the toxic destruction, verbal abuse, wreck-less attempts to bully you, lie to you, love bomb, and torment you even more...  your now the enemy  and must be taken down at al cost.  You have to be prepared MENTALLY, they will use any leverage they have- your friends, family and even your own children. They love manufacturing lies, and creating trouble- is empowering and watching you fall to the ground in pain as you suffer through and find out who they truly are. But... being mentally prepared for this to happen is what’s so vital to how you will be able to undermine the entire show and change the plot of the story. It’s hard I’m not going to lie, it will take every ounce of life- every thing you’ve got!  The reality here and what really happens is we get trapped in this idea that people are generally good people unless they give us a reason to think otherwise; we don’t assume people are bad actors or have an ulterior motive unless we are faced with those behaviors. Interestingly enough, we allow people we love to “hurt” us because we are strong, it’s nothing we can’t handle; and this is a double edged sword and cuts both ways. We love to help, honor, love, obey and most of all remain loyal/ even to someone who has proven themselves unworthy.  You have to be relentless, you have to become the person you never wanted to be, hard-cold-distant-disconnected and protect yourselves and the ones you love. A narcissist doesn’t know love, they don’t connect with human emotion; they’re true self is buried deep within the roots of confusion, intertwined in evil self seeking, built upon decades of guilt, shame, suffocating in their own insecurities. This is the person you never meet, and this is why it’s so hard to pull away/ because you want to believe that the odds are in your favor.  You can take your freedom back, your life and find happiness again, but you have to fight this head on- no one else can fight your battles- take what I’m telling you and apply this, you have to be strategic and plan; you think the narcissist put you here by accident? There’s a method to the madness, and now it’s your turn.  PayPal: NarcissistRehabPodcast@gmail.com

This episode discussed the differences between both male and female, the similarities and differences.

Narcissist denies reality to avoid any consequences ( EXAMPLES: they say your paranoid, misunderstood them, that’s not what said, you just don’t listen to me when I talk, this causes emotional distress and constant confusion to the victim) Denies the reality of the “empath” to intentionally erode their sanity, (remember they want you to feel disconnected from the truth,  this is accomplished through a series of mind control attempts by hijacking your ability to think through and process the reality of what your truly experiencing. You stop being able to use your own checks and balances and start leaning into the narcissist for guidance for things you were able to do on your own before.  A narcissistic person will deny the true reality in any situation or circumstance- because they don’t understand the reality of the empath and can’t experience real emotions, once they begin to use this gaslighting technique you begin to feel hopeless, similar to a spin wheel and never seem to make progress or  come to a clear understanding of where you stand with the narcissist  The call you crazy /you have mental health issues/you need help what the narcissist thinks is You’re not the pathological one here, I am. You’re just catching onto who I really am behind the mask and attempting to hold me accountable for my questionable behavior.   You’re just insecure and jealous! Translation: I enjoy planting seeds of insecurity and doubt in your mind about your attractiveness, competence, and personality.  If you dare to question my numerous flirtations, affairs, and inappropriate interactions, I’ll be sure to put you back in your place in fear of losing me.    Lastly.... Conserving your energy! Their goal is to drain you, they mirror you with all of those wonderful traits you have- they want you to give up and lose the battle - the game you’ve entered into with them. They need you at your weakest, because then they feel accomplished and you feel completely defeated. This isn’t some accident, this is working the way it was designed.  You don’t realize how much damage a person can cause by falling into their toxic web, they seek after great people like you and I and we have to stick together to send a message that were not here to play their game!

We crave love and are usually the ones who are emotionally connected, and they are great at deceiving us in our efforts to naturally want to be loved and cared for as humans.  Narcissist  are broken people who can’t reciprocate those same feelings, they’re a hollow shell -full of nothing, but low self esteem and absolutely have no idea who they are. You on the other hand- full of life, love and affection and carry these positive, healthy traits they they want so bad!! They honestly will ever get to experience life’s fullest potential.  We make excuses of their actions. We always dig for excuses as to why they said what they did, acted the way they did -when all it boils down to is an adult who doesn’t take responsibility for their own actions. We always gravitate toward wanting to help someone work through their struggles, when all the narcissist can do is complain about how their life’s turmoil was caused by someone else’s wrong doings.  They allow us to pity them with their stories of struggle, and pulling the victim card at every stop. Empaths generally want to take the load of someone’s emotional pain and struggle and treat it as their own; even when it’s not.  We want to take the burden of stress, anxiety from those we love and care about.  Remember that someone who feels pity for someone else is automatically going to shift to the offense, and let their defensive guard down. The “Empath” is constantly confirming and setting the bar of expectations so high, by expressing that they, “the empath” , will never do those horrible things that their previous partner did. The narcissist all of a sudden feels relieved that you actually bought their story. The tables eventually shift and we will later find ourselves,seeking validation from the narcissist.    BOTTOM LINE. They want to test you in the beginning to check vulnerabilities, how easy influenced you are and determining if your going to be a good source of supply for them. They need to gauge how much control they will be able to have, and the end goal is try to use every source of supply that tour can provide, once the oil is all pumped and the rig is dry it’s time to move to the next victim