Helping anxious and neurodiverse children transition through the summer holidays and back to school
As we get closer to the end of term, many families are looking forward to the summer holidays - and rightly so. After a long school year, children often really need that break. They need time to rest, play, recharge, and just be.
But for some children, especially those who are neurodiverse or struggle with anxiety, transitions can be difficult. The move from school into summer can feel unsettling, and then just as they settle into holiday life, September starts to loom and the return to school can bring a whole new wave of worry.
I was chatting to a mum recently who now home educates, but when her child was in school, they used to really struggle with anxiety about going back in September. She shared something so simple but so thoughtful. During the summer, she kept a few small term-time habits going. Things like using packed lunches on some days, keeping bedtimes fairly consistent, and getting clothes ready the night before.
Not to make summer feel like school, but to make the transition back feel a little less abrupt.
I thought that was such a helpful idea, and one that might really support some families.
For many anxious or neurodiverse children, routines bring a sense of safety. Predictability helps them feel more in control. So when the structure of school suddenly disappears, even if school itself has been tiring or stressful, that change can still feel big.
And then, later in the summer, the anticipation of going back can start to build. Some children might become more emotional, more clingy, more irritable, or start asking lots of questions about September. Others might complain of tummy aches, struggle to sleep, or seem worried without really being able to explain why.
One of the most important things we can do as parents is acknowledge those feelings. Let them know it makes sense to feel wobbly. Let them talk about their worries without judgement. Reassure them that they don’t have to manage it all at once.
It can also help to keep some gentle structure in place over the summer. Not a strict timetable, and not at the expense of fun, but a few familiar anchors in the day or week. That might mean keeping bedtime reasonably consistent, having some routine around meals, using a visual plan, or preparing for the next day in the evening.
As September gets closer, gentle preparation can make a real difference. You can gradually move routines back towards school time, talk through what the first day might look like, revisit the school if that’s possible, or look at photos online together. Breaking things down into small steps can make the whole return feel more manageable.
It’s also helpful to think about what support your child might need in school. Is there a teacher, teaching assistant, or other trusted adult who could be their safe person if they feel overwhelmed? Could you give school a heads-up if transitions are usually difficult?
Most of all, I think it’s important to remember that children who struggle with transitions are not being difficult. They are often doing their best to cope with something that feels uncertain, unpredictable, or emotionally big.
And as parents, we do not need to make everything perfect. Sometimes the smallest things are the most powerful. A familiar routine. A bit of preparation. A calm response. Reassurance given again and again.
These small acts can help our children enjoy the freedom of summer while feeling a little safer about what comes next.
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