Perspective Shifts for Healing with The Hanged Women

Attachment, Chemistry & Nervous System Healing: Building Earned Secure Love with Jessica Fern

42 min · 22 de abr de 2026
Portada del episodio Attachment, Chemistry & Nervous System Healing: Building Earned Secure Love with Jessica Fern

Descripción

Host Julienne Irons continues the Love & Relationships arc through the scientific lens with therapist and author Jessica Fern, exploring how attachment shapes the way we experience love. In this conversation, Jessica breaks down attachment as a biological brain and nervous system process involving safety, reward, and threat detection, and how early caregiving experiences form the templates we carry into adult relationships.   They explore the four attachment styles, secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized, as adaptive strategies rather than fixed identities, and unpack why insight alone isn’t enough to break relational patterns. Instead, lasting change happens through nervous system regulation and new relational experiences. The episode also dives into the difference between chemistry and safety, highlighting how attraction can sometimes be driven by anxiety, familiarity, or threat responses rather than true alignment. Jessica shares how to assess whether you feel safe and like yourself with someone, and why that distinction is key to building healthier relationships. They also discuss how attachment functions across all relationship structures, including non-monogamy, and challenge the misconception that non-monogamy is inherently avoidant. Finally, Jessica introduces the concept of “earned secure attachment,” and outlines the conditions needed to build it, including presence, emotional engagement, attunement, and repair. Next episode: We explore the energetic lens of love through money, safety, and power dynamics with Katy Chen Mazzara. ⏱️ TIMESTAMPS 00:00 Welcome And Setup  01:12 Sponsor Message  02:11 Meet Jessica Fern  03:08 Attachment Biology Basics  04:44 Avoidant Style And Loss  06:33 How Attachment Templates Form  07:58 Attachment Styles Explained  10:42 Why We Repeat Patterns  13:53 Familiar Feels Like Home  16:24 Chemistry Or Threat Response  19:51 Attachment In Non Monogamy  21:47 Avoidant Myth Origins  22:31 What Research Actually Shows  24:27 Cheating And Attachment Nuance  25:40 Sponsor Break  26:32 HEARTS Secure Attachment Framework  29:52 Safety Calms Nervous System  31:00 Healing With IFS Parts Work  34:13 Awareness Regulation Communication  35:48 Early Signs Of Change  37:52 Earned Secure Takeaway  40:08 Wrap Up And Next Episode Perspective Shifts for Healing with the Hanged Woman is presented by 3 of Cups Healing 🤳🏽 Connect with us here:  Instagram: @3ofCupsHealing  Website: 3ofcupshealing.com ✨ Find out more about the 3 of Cups Heart-Centered Marketing  here 👉🏽: https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/ [https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/]   🙌🏽 Connect with Jessica Fern here: IG: @jessicafern411 https://www.jessicafern.com [https://www.jessicafern.com/]

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Portada del episodio From Fear to Freedom: Reconnecting With Your True Self to Find Happiness with Mackenzie Stewart

From Fear to Freedom: Reconnecting With Your True Self to Find Happiness with Mackenzie Stewart

Host Julienne Irons relaunches the beloved Happiness series on Perspective Shifts for Healing with The Hanged Woman (formerly The Hanged Woman Podcast) with intuitive life coach Mackenzie Stewart of Mindset by Mackenzie. Together, they explore why happiness isn’t something we chase, but something we uncover by reconnecting with our authentic selves. After spending six years climbing the corporate ladder while battling anxiety, perfectionism, and constant self-doubt, Mackenzie shares the moment she realized success wasn’t the same as fulfillment. She introduces her powerful four-step From Fear to Freedom framework, showing how curiosity, aligned action, and purpose can transform fear into growth. They discuss limiting beliefs, intuition, therapy versus coaching, people-pleasing, purpose, and why the life that truly fulfills us often begins the moment we stop living according to everyone else’s expectations. Whether you’re feeling stuck in your career, questioning your purpose, or simply longing for more joy, this conversation offers practical tools to help you reconnect with yourself and move toward a happier, more meaningful life. ⏱️ TIMESTAMPS 00:00 Welcome & Happiness Series Introduction 00:40 Meet Mackenzie Stewart 02:42 From Marketing Career to Life Coach 07:01 Blending Science & Spirituality 08:28 What Happiness Really Means 09:54 Why We Should Stop Avoiding Fear 13:44 Curiosity Instead of Judgment 15:29 Purpose Creates Fulfillment 18:11 A Holistic Approach to Coaching 21:36 Therapy vs. Life Coaching 24:24 Learning to Trust Your Intuition 27:23 Midroll 29:17 Why Misalignment Makes Us Miserable 31:18 The From Fear to Freedom Framework 33:16 Rewriting Your Story 35:21 Taking the Next Brave Step 37:29 A Powerful Client Transformation 41:12 The Practice of Curiosity 43:37 Daily Rituals & Oracle Cards 46:10 Collective Card Pull: “Align with Your Purpose” 51:52 What Happiness Means to Mackenzie 53:28 Closing Reflections Perspective Shifts for Healing with the Hanged Woman is presented by 3 of Cups Healing 🤳🏽 Connect with us here:  Instagram: @3ofCupsHealing  Website: 3ofcupshealing.com ✨ Find out more about the 3 of Cups Heart-Centered Marketing  here 👉🏽 https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/ [https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/] ✨ Find out more about our Healing After Loss course here 👉🏽 https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/halcourse [https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/halcourse] 🙌🏽 Connect with Makenzie Stewart here 👉🏽 Website: mindsetbymackenzie.com [http://mindsetbymackenzie.com] IG: @mindsetbymackenzie.com Illuminate Mantra & Oracle Deck: https://illuminatewisdom.com  [https://illuminatewisdom.com] use code HEALER10 at check out for a discount

Ayer54 min
Portada del episodio Shadow Work, Non-Duality & Self-Worth: Ending the War With Yourself with Gavin Flanagan

Shadow Work, Non-Duality & Self-Worth: Ending the War With Yourself with Gavin Flanagan

Host Julienne Irons closes the self-worth and self-confidence series with shadow work and non-duality teacher Gavin Flanagan. Together, they explore why healing may not be about fixing ourselves, but about ending the exhausting job of rejecting parts of who we are. Gavin shares his journey through long-term meditation, sobriety, a personal breakdown, ayahuasca, holotropic breathwork, and living in his car, experiences that transformed his understanding of identity, suffering, and self-worth. They unpack the difference between intellectual shadow work and energetic shadow work, why trying to get rid of anxiety and other “negative emotions” can actually intensify them, and how fear, grief, and discomfort may be misunderstood forms of energy rather than problems to solve. Julienne opens up about her own experience with morning anxiety, and Gavin introduces the practice of self-inquiry, questioning thoughts, and learning to feel emotions directly rather than endlessly analyzing them. Together, they explore non-duality, spiritual bypassing, unconditional love, and how self-worth shifts when we stop chasing fulfillment somewhere else and begin meeting ourselves exactly where we are. ⏱️ TIMESTAMPS: 00:00 Welcome and Introduction 01:31 Sponsor: Marketing Clarity 02:20 Meet Gavin Flanagan 04:50 What Is Shadow Work? 07:39 Why Fighting Anxiety Makes It Worse 10:59 The Real Meaning of Unconditional Love 13:36 Losing Everything and Finding Identity 15:46 Is Anxiety Really Anxiety? 20:17 Why the Mind Isn’t Always Right 22:37 The River Crossing Metaphor 27:20 Midroll and Offers 29:17 Intellectual vs Energetic Shadow Work 30:26 Chasing “Other” and Losing Yourself 33:47 Self-Inquiry and Non-Duality 35:08 Questioning the Inner Critic 37:15 Thoughts Aren’t Facts 38:48 Testing Stories Against Reality 40:55 The Observer and the Voice in Your Head 44:21 What Is Non-Duality? 49:50 Meeting the Shadow Instead of Rejecting It 50:49 Discomfort, Fear, and Life Transitions 54:32 Relationships, Identity, and Self-Worth 57:10 Grounded Spiritual Awakening 01:02:09 How to Begin Shadow Work 01:05:38 Finding Peace in Uncertainty 01:11:22 Final Reflections Perspective Shifts for Healing with the Hanged Woman is presented by 3 of Cups Healing 🤳🏽 Connect with us here:  Instagram: @3ofCupsHealing  Website: 3ofcupshealing.com ✨ Find out more about the 3 of Cups Heart-Centered Marketing  here 👉🏽 https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/ [https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/] ✨ Find out more about our Healing After Loss course here 👉🏽 https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/halcourse [https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/halcourse] 🙌🏽 Connect with Gavin Flanagan here 👉🏽 https://www.instagram.com/spontaneous_evolution/reels/ https://www.youtube.com/@SpontaneousEvolution https://www.threads.com/@spontaneous_evolution

24 de jun de 20261 h 14 min
Portada del episodio Beyond the Box: Identity, Belonging & Being in Process with Emily Gopaul

Beyond the Box: Identity, Belonging & Being in Process with Emily Gopaul

Host Julienne Irons continues the self-worth series with art education consultant, curriculum designer, and EFT practitioner Emily Gopaul. Together, they explore identity, belonging, representation, code-switching, and the pressure to fit into predefined roles. Emily shares how culture, family, and representation shape our sense of self and why uncertainty isn’t something to fear, but a natural part of being alive. They discuss being single and child-free in midlife, decision fatigue, creativity, loneliness, and how self-worth can become more stable when we stop demanding fixed answers about who we are and allow ourselves to be fully in process.   ⏱️ TIMESTAMPS: 00:00 Welcome and Setup 01:20 Marketing Clarity Ad 02:03 Meet Emily Gopal 02:38 Emily’s Work and Roots 06:59 What Is Identity 12:27 Representation Shapes Belonging 17:20 Not Fitting In 18:37 Assimilation and Code Switching 23:23 Uncertainty and Self Worth 32:42 Midroll Break and Ads 34:25 Back to Representation 34:41 Why Representation Matters 36:27 When Representation Is Missing 38:05 Permission for Nuance 40:39 Peace Space and Creativity 43:15 Beyond Labels and Scripts 44:57 Decision Fatigue and Freedom 47:40 Grounded While In Process 50:45 Journals and Shifting Goals 53:54 EFT and Emotional Clues 01:00:45 Building Belonging Practices 01:02:47 Core Truth and Alignment 01:05:03 Where to Find Emily 01:05:52 Final Reflections and Teaser Perspective Shifts for Healing with the Hanged Woman is presented by 3 of Cups Healing 🤳🏽 Connect with us here:  Instagram: @3ofCupsHealing  Website: 3ofcupshealing.com ✨ Find out more about the 3 of Cups Heart-Centered Marketing  here 👉🏽 https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/ [https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/] ✨ Find out more about our Healing After Loss course here 👉🏽 https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/halcourse [https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/halcourse] 🙌🏽 Connect with Emily Gopaul here 👉🏽 Website: https://theprimaryartclass.com/ [https://theprimaryartclass.com/] IG: @theprimaryartclass LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/emily-gopaul-7169971a4/

17 de jun de 20261 h 7 min
Portada del episodio Self-Worth vs. Dignity: The Inner Courtroom, Self-Abandonment & Inherent Worth with Marielle Fois

Self-Worth vs. Dignity: The Inner Courtroom, Self-Abandonment & Inherent Worth with Marielle Fois

Host Julienne Irons continues the Self-Worth & Confidence series with dignity coach Marielle Fois, exploring the difference between self-worth as a belief and dignity as an embodied experience of inherent worth. Why do so many of us tie our value to productivity, perfection, achievement, or other people’s approval? Why does self-abandonment often feel safer than honoring our needs? And what happens when we stop treating our lives as evidence for whether we’re enough? In this conversation, Julienne and Marielle explore the “inner courtroom,” the internal space where mistakes become verdicts, accomplishments become requirements, and our worth is constantly put on trial. Together, they discuss perfectionism, people-pleasing, self-abandonment, boundaries, nervous system safety, and what it means to live from a place of intact worth rather than in pursuit of worth. Marielle explains why affirmations, journaling, and mindset work can build awareness but don’t always change what the body has learned, and how dignity work creates an opening for a deeper, more embodied experience of self-respect. One of the biggest perspective shifts from this conversation: You are inherently worthy of respect. You don’t need permission to exist, and you don’t need to apologize for taking up space in the universe. In This Episode 00:00 Welcome and Dignity Introduction 01:33 Sponsor: Marketing Clarity 02:23 Meet Marielle Fois 06:16 Self-Worth vs. Dignity 10:53 The Inner Courtroom Explained 12:14 How We Negotiate Our Worth 14:35 Why Self-Abandonment Feels Safe 20:22 Why Knowing Isn’t Always Living 24:20 What Dignity Feels Like in the Body 27:50 Midroll Course and Consultation 29:56 What Changes When We Live From Dignity 33:18 Becoming Unavailable for Less 35:50 Reconnecting With Intact Worth 37:30 Core Truth and Final Takeaways 39:33 Where to Find Marielle 40:06 Final Reflection and Next Week Perspective Shifts for Healing with the Hanged Woman is presented by 3 of Cups Healing 🤳🏽 Connect with us here:  Instagram: @3ofCupsHealing  Website: 3ofcupshealing.com ✨ Find out more about the 3 of Cups Heart-Centered Marketing  here 👉🏽 https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/ [https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/] ✨ Find out more about our Healing After Loss course here 👉🏽 https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/halcourse [https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/halcourse] 🙌🏽 Connect with Marielle Fois here 👉🏽 Website: www.mariellefois.com, where you can learn about her The Standing in Dignity Workshop and get her free resource The Inner Courtroom: The pattern that turns your circumstances into verdicts about your worth IG: @mariellefois

10 de jun de 202641 min
Portada del episodio Performative vs. Regulated Confidence: Nervous System Regulation, Anxiety & Self-Worth with SuperKate

Performative vs. Regulated Confidence: Nervous System Regulation, Anxiety & Self-Worth with SuperKate

Host Julienne Irons continues the Self-Worth & Confidence series with somatic life coach and Connecting with SuperKate host, SuperKate. Many of us think confidence looks like being productive, prepared, decisive, and always having the right answer. But what if some of what we’ve been calling confidence is actually anxiety, over-functioning, people-pleasing, or a nervous system working overtime to keep us safe? In this conversation, Julienne and SuperKate explore the difference between performative confidence and regulated confidence, how high-functioning anxiety can disguise itself as competence, and why so many of us tie our worth to achievement, productivity, and other people’s approval. Together, they discuss nervous system regulation, fawn responses, over-explaining, over-apologizing, perfectionism, burnout, performance-based identity, and the subtle ways dysregulation influences everything from emails and conversations to decision-making and self-trust. They also explore how regulation changes our relationship with failure, intuition, rest, presence, and connection, and why true confidence isn’t about becoming more impressive, but about feeling safe enough to be yourself. One of the biggest perspective shifts from this conversation: What if you’re not lacking confidence? What if you’re just dysregulated? ⏱️ TIMESTAMPS: 00:00 Welcome and Setup 01:15 Sponsor Message 02:12 Meet SuperKate 02:37 The Snowy Origin Story 06:58 When Worth Becomes Tied to Work 09:27 Redefining Confidence 11:18 When Anxiety Looks Like Confidence 15:08 Understanding Nervous System Dysregulation 16:25 The Email Spiral Explained 20:11 Signs of False Confidence 23:53 High-Functioning Anxiety & Self-Worth 25:38 Masking, Performing & Dissociation 28:13 Mid-Episode Break 30:01 Understanding the Fawn Response 31:09 Why We Over-Explain 33:17 Letting Go of “Does That Make Sense?” 34:43 Over-Apologizing & Taking Up Space 36:55 Managing Other People’s Reactions 39:41 Adrenaline vs. Regulated Confidence 44:27 Performance-Based Identity 46:05 What Changes When We Regulate 51:19 Start With One Breath 53:47 Final Thoughts on Confidence & Self-Worth   Perspective Shifts for Healing with the Hanged Woman is presented by 3 of Cups Healing 🤳🏽 Connect with us here:  Instagram: @3ofCupsHealing  Website: 3ofcupshealing.com ✨ Find out more about the 3 of Cups Heart-Centered Marketing  here 👉🏽 https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/ [https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/] ✨ Find out more about our Healing After Loss course here 👉🏽 https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/halcourse [https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/halcourse] 🙌🏽 Connect with SuperKate here 👉🏽 Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/the_superkate Facebook → https://www.facebook.com/superkate LinkedIn → https://www.linkedin.com/in/superkate/ YouTube → https://www.youtube.com/@ConnectingWithSuperKate Podcast → https://rss.com/podcasts/connecting-with-superkate/

3 de jun de 202656 min