Keeping Christ First Through Singleness, Marriage, and Motherhood

Keeping Christ First Through Singleness, Marriage, and Motherhood

EPISODE SUMMARY Kirsten Hyatt is a dual-military Army First Lieutenant and Military Intelligence Officer stationed at Fort Polk, La. A VMI ROTC graduate, Kirsten came to faith at 21 while stationed at Fort Benning and has been navigating what it looks like to keep Christ first ever since. In this conversation, Kirsten reflects on the practical habits that helped her pursue God while single, how she navigated dating with Biblical convictions, and the ways she and her husband intentionally stay spiritually connected amid the demands of dual-military life. She also offers honest insights into motherhood, identity, and learning to rely on God through changing seasons of life. If you're a Christian woman in uniform trying to hold your faith, your marriage, and your career together without losing yourself in any one of them, this episode is for you. >Mentioned in this episode: Weekly Marriage Questions Naomi spoke briefly about a set of weekly marriage questions she and her husband use to stay spiritually and relationally connected. These are questions they ask each other every Sunday, regardless of time zones or distance. She credits these questions from The Marriage Journal by Beating 50 Percent [https://www.beating50percent.com/products/themarriagejournal?srsltid=AfmBOopC-KQ1R0TpmVhWzXvHaP-q4LV47kterldqIKHGuzYnUkQm2yDn] as "wildly helpful." The questions are: 1. What brought you joy this week? 2. What was something hard for you this week? 3. What's one specific thing I can do for you this week? 4. How can I pray for you this week? 5. Is there something that's gone unsaid—convictions, confessions, or unresolved hurt? 6. What's a dream, desire, or thought that's been on the forefront of your mind this week? >Other resources for listeners: * Discover OCF's Women's Ministry [https://www.ocfusa.org/sisterhood/] * Contact the podcast via email [anchored@ocfusa.org] * Access the Anchored & Armed contact form [https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScRfAVj0Qc5FgN94ygU2sE7T5xcw6ltpuGIJ2pcv9WckyGBmw/viewform] >Questions answered and themes covered in this interview include: 1. How can a Christian woman in the military keep her faith strong during singleness? Worship, Scripture, and prayer are practical anchors, and they work even within the demanding rhythms of military life. During her single season, Kirsten prioritized getting into the Word during any downtime, praying consistently, and leaning into worship—both as a participant and as a member of her church worship team. Also, listening to worship music while working out helped keep her mind centered. While worship was the primary way she connected with God during that season, prayer was a close second. Having a literal prayer closet helped, too: "It's dark in there—it's just you and the Lord." Her advice for single women: your worth is in Christ, not in any relationship. "Don't compromise on anything. Your worth is in Christ, and that's what matters. And then once you find someone that sees your worth in Christ first, then maybe we can pursue something." 2. How can Christian women discern who to date or marry? Look for someone already running toward God, not someone you hope to bring along. Keeping a written prayer journal and seeking counsel from trusted believers were Kirsten's two most concrete tools for discernment. She kept a notebook where she wrote out prayers for a specific kind of partner—someone Christ-centered, God-fearing, and marked by the fruit of the Spirit—and returned to it when she met someone new to test whether her feelings aligned with what she had brought before the Lord. She also relied on close friends in her church community for honest input. Her framing: "Is this someone that's going to go along for the walk together, and nobody's dragging anybody? You guys are together on the walk." She describes passing on relationships where the man wasn't pursuing the Lord, recognizing that it wasn't her job to lead someone to faith through a romantic relationship. 3. How do dual military Christian couples stay spiritually connected with different schedules? Daily rhythms, however brief, and intentional grace toward one another make it possible—even when schedules don't align. Kirsten and her husband, who works 48-on/48-off shifts, read through a book of the Bible together each morning over coffee, discussing it then or in the evening. When that isn't possible, he calls her to talk through it. Praying together every night before bed is also important, with each sharing what they're struggling with and praying over the other out loud. Kirsten attributes the grace in their marriage—the pattern of quick apology and mutual accountability—directly to Christ being at the center: "That is only by the grace of God that we can do that with each other." 4. How do Christian military officers live out their faith at work? Live visibly differently without making it a point of confrontation. In a military environment she calls "spiritually dead," Kirsten doesn't curse around her soldiers, doesn't participate in gossip, and doesn't conform to the surrounding culture. She doesn't announce her faith, but her soldiers know she's a Christian because of how she acts. Her motivation is explicitly missional: "If even one person will get to join me in the kingdom of heaven, my work in the Army means something." The distinction can be described as "being different, not better than." Here's something else to consider: being identified as a believer by those around you matters not only for those who don't yet believe, but also for fellow Christians who may, in a moment of need, know exactly who they can call. 5. How can a Christian mom keep her faith a priority with a newborn? Prayer doesn't have to be long or formal; it just has to be consistent. This is how Kirsten has maintained her relationship with the Lord since becoming a mom. She prays while breastfeeding, while rocking her son, while cooking dinner. When her son is fussy, she turns on worship music and dances with him. While many things change with a new baby—time in the gym, time alone, uninterrupted quiet—prayer remains available anywhere, at any time. The central spiritual lesson motherhood has taught her is relinquishing control: "I can't control when he's going to nap, when he's going to wake up." She describes this season's word as "submission"—a posture of continually surrendering to the Lord in a role where she has no prior experience and no guaranteed outcomes. >Anchor Verse: Matthew 22:37–38 (ESV): "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment."

Serving first: The key to finding community in the military

About this episode In this episode of Anchored & Armed, LTC Brittany Simmons, USA (Ret.), shares hard-earned wisdom about finding real, lasting, Christ-centered community through every stage of military life. A 2002 graduate of United States Military Academy and retired Military Police officer with 20 years of Army service, Brittany reflects on deployments, loneliness, marriage, motherhood, PCS moves, and the challenge of building authentic relationships in constantly changing environments. She explains how God met her in seasons of isolation, why serving is often the key to belonging, and how military women can contribute meaningful leadership and perspective within the local church. Whether you are a Christian woman serving in uniform, a military spouse, or someone searching for biblical community in a transient military lifestyle, this conversation offers practical encouragement grounded in lived experience. Resources for listeners: * Summer Celebration #4B (OCF Sisterhood – Women's Track) [https://www.springcanyon.org/event/summer-celebration-4b-ocf-sisterhoodwomens-track/] * "A new take on the 'armor of God': The power of fighting as a unit" on OCF Crosspoint [https://www.ocfusa.org/2026/01/a-new-take-on-the-armor-of-god-the-power-of-fighting-as-a-unit/] * OCF Directory [https://www.ocfusa.org/directory/] * Discover OCF's Women's Ministry [https://www.ocfusa.org/sisterhood/] * Contact the podcast via email (anchored@ocfusa.org) * Access the Anchored & Armed contact form [https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScRfAVj0Qc5FgN94ygU2sE7T5xcw6ltpuGIJ2pcv9WckyGBmw/viewform] Questions answered and themes covered in this interview include: How can Christian military women find real community during military assignments and deployments? Brittany is candid that strong Christian community early in her career—at West Point through OCF, and in her first assignment in Germany—almost spoiled her for what came next. Later assignments brought real loneliness, particularly at Fort Hood and during deployments where time was so limited she describes working "a six-and-a-half-day week." During a difficult deployment to Iraq, she prayed specifically: "God, I need a friend." The answer came through a fellow West Point graduate and OCF friend who ended up assigned just a trailer away—a friendship now nearly 26 years old. She emphasizes that those early military friendships matter more than they may seem in the moment, and that staying connected through tools like Marco Polo and group messaging makes it possible to maintain meaningful Christian friendships across decades and duty stations. Why is serving important for building Christian community in military life? One of the biggest shifts in Brittany's family's approach to church came when they stopped asking where they belonged and started asking where they could serve. When she and her husband arrived at their church in Indianapolis, they told leadership early: "We really want to jump in and serve." That posture opened doors quickly. She notes that serving alongside others builds trust naturally—"those folks start to become your community"—in the same way that a shared military background creates an immediate bond between strangers. She also encourages listeners not to overlook small or behind-the-scenes opportunities, pointing out that churches always need people willing to help with children, clean kitchens, stuff envelopes, or maintain outdoor spaces. Faithful, unglamorous service, she says, is often the foundation for the deepest Christian fellowship. What should I look for in a healthy church as a Christian military family? Brittany points to several practical signs. First, people are genuinely interested in hearing and sharing stories—there's a culture of listening, not just programming. Second, the workload is distributed; it's not the same few people doing everything. Third, people are placed in roles that match their gifts rather than being pressured into poor fits. Fourth, the church is both inward- and outward-facing, serving its members and the surrounding community. She anchors much of this in 1 Corinthians 12, noting that "the body needs that to be healthy"—every role, including the unseen ones, matters. She adds that military families should also look for theological alignment, though her focus in this conversation is primarily on community health from a relational standpoint. Can a Christian woman in uniform connect meaningfully with civilian church women? Brittany initially assumed she would have little in common with women who hadn't served—and she's honest that she had to work through that. What she found was that women in leadership roles outside the military face many of the same challenges, and they were genuinely curious about her perspective. Rather than creating distance, her military experience added something. She introduced concepts like "battle buddy" and "commander's intent" into her church's women's ministry, and the language resonated. Her head pastor still references commander's intent—the idea of giving clear guidance and trusting people to execute without micromanaging—as a leadership principle that shaped how he thinks about his role. "We've got stuff to share," Brittany says. "Not all women just want to do teas and pink—there's a lot more out there than I think we realize." How do I stop waiting to be invited and actually build Christian community? Brittany acknowledges that adult friendship is hard, and that the higher you climb in the military, the more the community thins out. But she pushes back on passivity directly: "Sometimes God needs us to do the inviting." She references a podcast that challenged her personally on the concept of "going first"—asking someone to coffee, and if they say no, moving to the next person. She frames this as consistent with military identity: women in uniform are already trained to lead and take initiative, and that same posture applies to building Christian relationships. She also cautions against waiting indefinitely for circumstances to be perfect: "Sometimes we sit around waiting too long for God to just plop something in our laps—and I think that's kind of being a lazy Christian."

Recognizing misplaced hope when loneliness sets in

About this episode In this episode of Anchored & Armed, hosts Mackenzie and Naomi sit down with Ellie "Dizzy" Cvancara, an Air Force fighter pilot and instructor, to explore the reality of loneliness as a married female officer. Drawing from her experience in the early months of marriage—marked by long work hours, frequent separations, and a lack of close community—Ellie shares honestly about the progression from loneliness to bitterness, and ultimately to renewed hope. Listeners will gain insight into how habits, truth, and Scripture sustained her through a spiritually dry season, as well as the critical role of Christian community—especially among women. This conversation offers encouragement for women navigating military life to persevere in seeking the Lord and to pursue meaningful relationships, even when it's difficult. Resources for listeners: * Discover OCF's Women's Ministry [https://www.ocfusa.org/sisterhood/] * Contact the podcast via email (anchored@ocfusa.org) * Access the Anchored & Armed contact form [https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScRfAVj0Qc5FgN94ygU2sE7T5xcw6ltpuGIJ2pcv9WckyGBmw/viewform] Questions answered and themes covered in this interview include: How can a Christian woman in the military handle loneliness in marriage when separation and demanding schedules strain connection? Ellie describes a season early in her marriage when conflicting schedules and frequent time apart created a cycle of loneliness and growing bitterness. She shares, "I didn't think I would be the most lonely I'd ever been after getting married." As her husband traveled often and her own job remained demanding, she found herself emotionally isolated. Even when he returned, the short time together only allowed for partial recovery before the cycle repeated. This experience revealed how loneliness can persist even when expectations—like marriage—are fulfilled. Ellie also noted that her lack of intentional community and difficulty maintaining friendships due to work demands deepened the isolation. The combination of relational distance, work stress, and unmet expectations led to a sense of hopelessness during that season. What keeps a Christian military woman pursuing God during a spiritually dry and lonely season? Ellie points to both habit and truth as anchors during her struggle. She explains, "It's just my habit to read the Bible and pray… and to listen to worship music." These rhythms sustained her even when she didn't feel emotionally connected. More deeply, she relied on what she knew to be true: "I know that the Lord is there… and that He's going to use the situation for good." Even when she didn't feel God's presence, she held onto the belief that He remained faithful. This combination of discipline and conviction helped her continue pursuing God rather than turning elsewhere. Her story highlights the importance of grounding faith in truth, not feelings, especially in seasons where emotional reassurance is absent. What lies can affect a Christian woman's faith during loneliness in military life? Ellie identifies several discouraging thoughts she faced, including feeling unseen, completely alone, and believing it was "hopeless to even try to make friends." She also wrestled with the idea that "the Lord wasn't enough" and recognized that she had unintentionally idolized her husband and marriage. She describes these struggles as a "pity party" mindset, where everything felt overwhelmingly negative and unchangeable. These lies distorted her perspective, making her situation feel permanent and isolating. By later recognizing these thoughts as untrue, Ellie was able to confront them and realign her thinking. Her experience illustrates how internal narratives during loneliness can deepen suffering if left unchallenged. What does a Christian woman in uniform learn about God and community through loneliness? Ellie shares that this season made God's faithfulness more tangible: "Seeing it in action always makes it more real." One of her biggest takeaways was the importance of Christian community, particularly friendships with other women who can "tell you the truth when you are tempted to forget." She also memorized Scripture during this time, including Lamentations 3:21–26, which became a source of hope. Additionally, she realized she "can't do it alone" and that relying solely on her husband for emotional fulfillment was misplaced. This season reshaped her understanding of identity, community, and dependence on God, revealing both her need for others and the importance of keeping God in His rightful place. How can a Christian military woman overcome loneliness by pursuing faith and community intentionally? Ellie's advice is direct: "Do not give up seeking the Lord… whether you feel Him or not." She emphasizes persistence in spiritual disciplines regardless of emotional state. She also challenges listeners not to make excuses for avoiding community: "Ask the Lord for strength to overcome them and to seek friends." Even when differences in life stage create barriers, she encourages intentional effort—meeting others where they are and building relationships anyway. Her encouragement highlights both personal responsibility and dependence on God: continue pursuing Him and actively seek out community. She underscores that growth often requires pushing past discomfort and choosing connection, even when it's inconvenient or difficult.

Choosing joy when your community changes

About this episode In this episode of Anchored & Armed, hosts Mackenzie and Naomi continue their mini-series on loneliness by exploring the experience of a single Christian woman serving as a military officer. Their guest, Maj Eunice Park, USAF, is a 2014 graduate of the United States Air Force Academy and an acquisitions officer currently stationed at Los Angeles Air Force Base in California. Drawing from more than a decade of military service and multiple assignments, Eunice shares honestly about seasons of loneliness that can arise in military life—especially when community changes through PCS moves and friendships shift. She discusses the discouragements she faced, the spiritual truths that helped her persevere, and the ways God used those seasons to deepen her faith and redirect her toward new community. This conversation offers encouragement for Christian women in uniform, single service members, and military spouses navigating loneliness while seeking to remain anchored in faith. Resources for listeners: * Eunice's website [https://seedsoftamarisk.com/] * Immanuel: The promise of God with us this Christmas [https://www.ocfusa.org/2025/11/immanuel-the-promise-of-god-with-us-this-christmas/] * Discover OCF's Women's Ministry [https://www.ocfusa.org/sisterhood/] * Contact the podcast via email: anchored@ocfusa.org * Access the Anchored & Armed contact form [https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScRfAVj0Qc5FgN94ygU2sE7T5xcw6ltpuGIJ2pcv9WckyGBmw/viewform] Questions answered and themes covered in this interview include: How can a Christian woman serving in the military navigate loneliness when PCS moves disrupt community? Eunice explains that frequent moves and changing assignments can make military life uniquely challenging because friendships and fellowship often shift quickly. She notes that while PCS moves allow service members to meet many people, they also mean "losing community on a pretty regular basis." One of her most difficult seasons occurred when close friends from her assignment gradually PCS'd away while she remained at the same base. She described the experience as different from arriving somewhere new—because she suddenly had to rebuild community in a place where she had already been living. Although painful, the experience reminded her how important it is to continually seek out fellowship. Ultimately, God led her to a new local church community that welcomed her and helped restore the sense of connection she had been missing. What discouragements or spiritual struggles can Christian military officers face during seasons of loneliness? During that season, Eunice says she struggled with what she described as self-pity and the feeling of being abandoned. When friends moved away, she found herself battling the sense that she had been "left behind," especially while navigating military life as a single officer. She emphasizes that this feeling can become spiritually dangerous if it allows "bitter roots" to form. While loneliness itself is real, she explains that the belief that she was truly abandoned was a lie she had to confront. Recognizing those internal struggles was important for her spiritual growth. Naming those discouragements helped her guard her heart and return her focus to God rather than remaining trapped in resentment or isolation. What Biblical encouragement helps Christians endure loneliness in military life? One of the most powerful reminders during this season was repeating the truth that God never leaves His people nor forsakes them. After coming to faith, Eunice said the presence of the Holy Spirit changed how she experienced loneliness because she realized she was "truly never alone." She also leaned on the example and advice of Elisabeth Elliot, particularly the question: "What's the next thing that you can do?" That perspective helped her move from discouragement to action—taking small steps to pursue community and growth rather than remaining stuck in isolation. For her, trusting God's purpose in suffering was key. She explains that seasons of loneliness may still be painful but remembering that suffering is not meaningless helped her endure the hardship with hope. What does the Bible teach about hardship and discipline during difficult seasons of faith? Eunice points to Hebrews 12:4–7 (ESV), which teaches that "the Lord disciplines the one he loves." That passage reframed her understanding of hardship by reminding her that difficult seasons can be part of God's loving work in the life of His children. She encourages listeners who feel discouraged—whether due to loneliness, deployments, or other military pressures—not to lose heart. Hard seasons may be a time when God is shaping and strengthening His people. Rather than seeing suffering as meaningless, she encourages believers to remember that God is present in it and working through it. Knowing that hardship may have a purpose helped her persevere through the loneliness she experienced during that assignment. How can Christian communities better support single military service members? Eunice emphasizes that inclusion is one of the most meaningful ways churches and fellow believers can care for single service members. Simple gestures—such as inviting single officers to holiday meals or asking whether they have plans for Thanksgiving or Christmas—can make a significant difference. She also highlights the importance of creating opportunities for singles to serve and lead within the church. Even if they do not have the responsibilities of family ministry, single believers often have unique time, gifts, and availability that can bless the community. For her personally, encouragement from fellow believers and opportunities to serve—such as helping lead a prayer ministry—were powerful reminders that she belonged within the body of Christ. What encouragement would a Christian military officer give to women in uniform experiencing loneliness today? Looking back, Eunice says she would encourage her younger self—and others in similar seasons—to remember that God has a purpose for where they are right now. She urges listeners not to spend their time trapped in discouragement or self-pity but instead to recognize the opportunities God may be providing in that season. Time, she says, is a limited resource, and believers can use it to serve others and share their faith. Her encouragement is to actively pursue joy and mission: "Joy is a choice… sometimes a hard choice." Even in lonely seasons, she reminds Christian service members that God has placed them where they are for a reason—and there are always opportunities to bring light and truth to others.

Understanding God's purpose in loneliness

About this episode In this episode of Anchored & Armed, hosts Mackenzie and Naomi continue their mini-series on loneliness by exploring the topic from the perspective of a Christian military spouse with guest Kristen Strong. Kristen is an author, speaker, and longtime advocate for military spouses, known for books including Desperate Woman Seeks Friends and Girl Meets Change. Drawing from her own experiences navigating frequent moves, deployments, and seasons of deep isolation, Kristen shares candidly about loneliness, friendship, and faith in military life. She reflects on what it means to seek friendship intentionally, how God uses lonely seasons to shape the heart, and why Christian women in the military community are not meant to walk alone. This conversation offers encouragement and practical wisdom for women longing for connection while learning to rely on God first. Resources for listeners: * Kristen's website [https://kristenstrong.com/] * Contact the podcast via email: anchored@ocfusa.org * Access the Anchored & Armed contact form [https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScRfAVj0Qc5FgN94ygU2sE7T5xcw6ltpuGIJ2pcv9WckyGBmw/viewform] Questions answered and themes covered in this interview include: How can Christian military spouses experience deep loneliness even when married or surrounded by people? Kristen explains that loneliness often comes not from being physically alone, but from being uprooted from familiar community and support systems. Early in her marriage, frequent moves and her husband's absences left her isolated in places where she "did not know a soul." Even when she knew how to reach out and invite others, she found that many people already had established friendships and little space for new ones. Kristen describes loneliness as especially painful when adult conversation, shared history, and emotional connection are missing. She emphasizes that marriage does not replace the need for friendship, noting that women are "hardwired" for relational connection. These experiences became formative in shaping her understanding of loneliness and friendship in military life. What lies can affect a Christian woman's faith during seasons of loneliness in military life? Kristen reflects honestly on how discouraging thoughts deepened her loneliness, including believing that friendship "just wasn't going to work" in certain places. She describes falling into a victim mentality that excused her from continuing to try, even though effort was required. Looking back, she identifies these thoughts as untrue and says she had to learn that her timeline did not match God's timeline. She explains that loneliness felt permanent in the moment, even when it was not. Through these seasons, Kristen learned to trust that God was still at work and that isolation did not mean she was forgotten. She emphasizes that discouragement can feel true while still being false. How does God use loneliness in the lives of Christian military women and spouses? Kristen shares that while loneliness is painful, it is not always without purpose. She explains that God sometimes uses lonely seasons to remove distractions, draw attention to unmet needs in the heart, or strengthen relationships within the family. She describes learning that she was "never alone in [her] loneliness" and realizing she often turned to friends before turning to God. These seasons helped her build the habit of going to the Lord first. Kristen distinguishes between temporary loneliness, which God can use for growth, and ongoing isolation, which is not how believers are meant to live. She emphasizes that God's presence remains constant even when friendships are absent. How does a Christian woman's relationship with God affect her friendships? Kristen explains that learning to be filled by God first transformed the way she approached friendship. When she did not rely on God, she became overly needy and placed unrealistic expectations on others. She describes holding out her "cup" to friends to be filled, instead of being filled by the Lord. As she learned to draw from God daily, she became a healthier and more generous friend. Kristen shares that this shift allowed her to receive friendship as a gift rather than a necessity. She reflects that relying on God first made her more secure and less overwhelmed by comparison, rejection, or unmet expectations in relationships. What encouragement does Kristen Strong offer Christian military women who feel tempted to give up on friendship? Kristen speaks directly to women who have been hurt by friendships and feel exhausted by starting over after each move. She acknowledges that friendship breakups can be deeply painful, sometimes more so than romantic ones. Her encouragement is not to give up, reminding listeners that "Jesus had friends," and therefore friendship is part of God's design. At the same time, she urges discernment—recognizing when a friendship is one-sided and choosing to pivot toward relationships that are reciprocated. Kristen emphasizes both perseverance and wisdom, encouraging women to seek friendships that value and appreciate them while extending grace where appropriate.