Cell U.R. - A Sci-fi Musical Comedy Radiodrama audiobook of Vampires and Human Cellphones

Blood Cuddling

In this Earth-shaking climax, Vampire Elvirus suggests Gnathal get an education with the song "Bong Hits for Jesus." He Who Never Forgets announces peace, while his haploid daughter Louise agrees to wed confirmed-bachelor and vampire-to-be, Gnathal. He separates himself from Christopheles Rex to become a family man with one big, 'happy ever-after' kiss of passion heated by a burning secret deep inside...

Dis Funk Shun

The Dragoons attack, Gand nathal finds himself the central vortex of a sea of amulets in the night. The doctors aren't sure it's a baby. The Alien Spaceship enters Earth's Time-space, and Vampire Elvirus reveals her true self with timeless tales of modern, politically connected vampires that re-examine the nature of sex and masculinity in a world where technology allows human females to clone themselves to the song "Kiss and Tell Eternity."

Gangbang

Gnathal, along with Vampire Elvirus and her huge dog Wolfie, must try to rescue Louise from the gangbangers, the Imp Udents. Spaceship Rambler gives its final podcast to a planet that fails to respond in kind.

Lost In Foam and Uncoupled

The Children of the Greatful Dead of Night flood the Metroplex with purple foam to hide the invasion of yellow school buses. A plague of Dragoons darkens the skies, and invading denizens of the DevaState occupy Metroplex property. Fearful Metroplexuals, unused to disconnects from the Central Server, flee into the DevaState. The perimeter of the Metroplex explodes in programmed fury against the illusion of a siege. The Imp Udents kidnap Louise.

Consexual Scent

They torture Gnathal with the song "Whiplash" to psychologically prepare him for Confession to the Warden in his Last Words, just before he serves his life sentence of Civil Death. Rescued by the over-heated Louise, he helps her father, a Super-user, initiate a top-secret terabyte transmission that gives the Metroplex a new Computroler. The State clears the thunderstorms so all can watch the warring spaceships orbit the earth, but a reflected nuclear blast destroys the Twin Bong Towers and the resultant electromagnetic surge renders all electric circuits, and thus all transponders, useless.