shunned

217 – How Jehovah's Witnesses Pushed Me and My Non-JW Husband Away From Their Religion

In this episode, we sit down with Elizabeth, a 31-year-old former Jehovah's Witness who shares her journey as a fifth-generation member of the organization. Raised in a strict household where her father's history as a "Bethelite" set a high bar for spiritual performance, Elizabeth describes a childhood defined by "The Paradise Binder"—a homemade book of cutout publication pictures designed to program young minds before they could even read. From the pressure to "tally" scriptures at the Kingdom Hall to the harrowing experience of being physically removed from a car at age 12 for wearing mascara, Elizabeth exposes the intense surveillance and performance culture that dictated her early life. The narrative takes a deeply personal turn as Elizabeth recounts her "double life" in high school, her marriage to a non-Witness named Chris, and the traumatic miscarriage she suffered while navigating the stress of being disfellowshipped. She discusses the "death by a thousand cuts" that led to her awakening, sparked by everything from bizarre "bunker" videos at conventions to reading about the similarities between Witnesses and Mormons. Now "soft shunned," Elizabeth reflects on the peace she has found in her own skin, the importance of choice, and the relief of no longer having to view the world through a black-and-white lens. Key Takeaways * The "Bethel" Standard: Growing up as the child of a former Bethelite meant Elizabeth's family life was an endless behind-the-scenes tour of spiritual hierarchy, where "spiritual things" always overrode personal milestones, including weddings. * Performance-Based Love: Elizabeth's father measured her worth through her participation in meetings; she describes "graduating" from looking at pictures to "tally time," where she was expected to keep a physical count of scriptures and comments to earn parental approval. * Institutional Inhospitality: The organization's treatment of Elizabeth's non-Witness husband, Chris, was exceptionally harsh, with elders comparing his presence at the Kingdom Hall to an ancient Bible account of people who were "worthy of death". * Logical Deconstruction: Her exit was fueled by a written list of over 20 logical and scriptural questions—ranging from the lack of financial transparency to the hypocrisy of the "prodigal son" vs. modern shunning—that the organization simply could not answer. * The Power of Choice: After years of being "voluntold" how to spend every hour, Elizabeth now finds the most beauty in the simple ability to choose her own friends, career, and beliefs based on her authentic self rather than a monthly report slip. Direct Quotes * "You're a JW 24/7, a Jehovah is not what you are, it's who you are". * "It's about results, right? Type A results to some degree". Resources Mentioned * My Book of Bible Stories (Implicitly referenced via cassette stories and binders). * Young People Ask—Answers That Work. * Insight on the Scriptures. * "Keep Yourselves in God's Love" (Remaining in God's Love book). * Under the Banner of Heaven (Book by Jon Krakauer). * Leah Remini: Scientology and the Aftermath (TV Series/JW Special). * XJW Reddit. * JWfacts.com (Referenced as "XJW facts"). Guest Bio Elizabeth is a 31-year-old medical professional and a fifth-generation former Jehovah's Witness who is currently "soft shunned" by her family. After over a decade of navigating a high-control upbringing and a complex reinstatement process, she now lives authentically with her husband and son, focusing on building a life defined by choice rather than indoctrination. Support the show and get bonuses as well by donating to the cause on our Patreon page, Patreon.com/shunned [http://patreon.com/shunned] http://patreon.com/shunned Are you struggling in some area of life? Feeling stuck? Need an accountability partner or some encouragement? Need to talk to someone that understands cult life? Reach out and let's talk. I have affordable programs to help as a certified life coach with a focus on cult recovery. Click HERE for more information. [https://storyworkscoaching.com/] Want more resources? Go to my other website exjwHelp.com [https://exjwhelp.com/] Leave us a review on iTunes [https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/shunned/id1278684468?mt=2] Find shunned podcast on Youtube, including new VIDcasts here [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4UJZdPiABipv9mESMjjdfA/videos?view_as=subscriber]. Follow us on Twitter [https://twitter.com/shunnedpodcast?lang=en] and Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/shunnedpodcast/]. You can listen to the Shunned Podcast Spotify playlist here for all of the songs [https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2MVvD4HmXuFOYxWVFRoF9c?fbclid=IwAR097VFK6CIM-Ws3OGVCzGek8gr3cngWbio87497LDOFUhamlwzjRiAsCSc] chosen by guests of the show. This podcast was made possible by my original podcast This JW Life. [https://thisjwlife.com/] You can find it on any podcast app. It is a 9 part series about life as Jehovah's Witnesses designed to help you understand how it worked in one comprehensive story and to help you process your own if you came from that environment. Read my FREE online book, based on This JW Life, called Becoming Jehovah, in both English and Spanish by clicking here [https://becomingjehovah.com/] An ExJW podcast and ExJW YouTube Channel

Jehovah's Witnesses Will Still Die Refusing Blood Transfusions After The Update Allowing Blood

Since the mid 1900s Jehovah's Witnesses have had a ban on blood transfusions. They would take biblical commands to "abstain from blood" literally even though the commands were about how to handle blood from something that was dead, not about using blood to save something that was alive. And when they needed a potentially live saving blood transfusion they would deny it. We all carried around "No Blood" cards in our wallets and purses, little legal documents to speak for us if we were unable to do so. No Blood meant NO BLOOD. People died for their stance. Elders (leading men) in congregations were appointed to Hospital Liaison Committees to come in as enforcers when you were in the hospital to make sure that you did what you were told under the penalty of social death (shunning) if you didn't do as you were commanded. In the year 2000 Jehovah's Witnesses were given permission by their leaders, a small group of men in New York known as the Governing Body, to take minor blood fractions derived from four major blood components. So they were told that if other people gave blood, something that Jehovah's Witnesses would never do to help anyone else, they could take those fractions derived from the generous donations of outsiders. I was 23 years old then and I didn't understand where it ever said in the bible that blood fractions were allowed, but I wanted to live like anyone else would want to, so I gladly checked boxes on my little No Blood but kinda blood if it's fractional card so that I would indeed receive more help. I knew it wasn't biblical because if we were fundamentally going to apply what was written in such a literal way, then I could no more have blood fractions than I could have fornication fractions or adultery fractions or commit some murder fractions, but hey, I wanted to live. It's now 26 years later. Today in a historic moment that was published in a 16 minute video that focused on other things, the last 5 minutes had an announcement. Right before their annual "Special Talk" that is to be held this Sunday, and just two weeks or so before their annual "Memorial" celebration that is the biggest event on the JW calendar, they snuck in an announcement that autologous blood transfusions, or transfusions of your own stored blood, would now be allowed. Now, they never said the word transfusion because they're manipulative cunts in a death cult, but they gave their members permission to use their own minds to decide how they used their own blood. No, they still can't take blood from anyone else. So if a JW is in a car wreck and needs blood, they still can't take a blood transfusion from someone else if needed. But if they have some sort of odd preplanned event, they could potentially store some of their own blood, likely at great financial cost, to be used in their own care. Of course, they'd never donate to help anyone else. Help is for me, not for thee. It took 26 years for them to STILL NOT MAKE THE RIGHT DECISION. They are telling members now that they can take a transfusion, of their own blood. So whereas it was previously stated that transfusions were like "eating blood" by ingesting it intravenously and therefore the transfusing itself was wrong, they are now allowed to essentially eat their own blood, just not someone else's. Yeah, that's a gross way of thinking about it, but that's Jehovah's Witnesses theology. They can now take fractions from outsiders and whole blood from themselves. I'm sure that they're trying to wait out the old timers and create change over generations to eventually get rid of this policy. They know it's evil. They know that countless people have died. Mom's after or during childbirth. People that need heart surgery. People with cancer that need surgery. Those that are in bad car accidents or other emergent situations. The Governing Body would therefore be bloodguilty for the lives lost at the hand of their evil policies and their refusal to do the right thing. Instead of making the change that we all know they're going to eventually make, to just allow transfusions, they will drag this out for more decades to put the older folks in a position where due to sunk cost they feel they cannot leave and to throw a bone to younger folks to keep them from leaving due to their insane policies. But HOW MANY MORE PEOPLE HAVE TO DIE????? And where was the apology in the announcement for getting it wrong and costing more lives? "We are not embarrassed about 'adjustments' that are made; nor is an apology needed for not getting it 'exactly right' previously. We understand: this is how Jehovah operates." -Jeffrey Winder, annual meeting October 2023 Support the show and get bonuses as well by donating to the cause on our Patreon page, Patreon.com/shunned [http://patreon.com/shunned] http://patreon.com/shunned Are you struggling in some area of life? Feeling stuck? Need an accountability partner or some encouragement? Need to talk to someone that understands cult life? Reach out and let's talk. I have affordable programs to help as a certified life coach with a focus on cult recovery. Click HERE for more information. [https://storyworkscoaching.com/] Want more resources? Go to my other website exjwHelp.com [https://exjwhelp.com/] Leave us a review on iTunes [https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/shunned/id1278684468?mt=2] Find shunned podcast on Youtube, including new VIDcasts here [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4UJZdPiABipv9mESMjjdfA/videos?view_as=subscriber]. Follow us on Twitter [https://twitter.com/shunnedpodcast?lang=en] and Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/shunnedpodcast/]. You can listen to the Shunned Podcast Spotify playlist here for all of the songs [https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2MVvD4HmXuFOYxWVFRoF9c?fbclid=IwAR097VFK6CIM-Ws3OGVCzGek8gr3cngWbio87497LDOFUhamlwzjRiAsCSc] chosen by guests of the show. This podcast was made possible by my original podcast This JW Life. [https://thisjwlife.com/] You can find it on any podcast app. It is a 9 part series about life as Jehovah's Witnesses designed to help you understand how it worked in one comprehensive story and to help you process your own if you came from that environment. Read my FREE online book, based on This JW Life, called Becoming Jehovah, in both English and Spanish by clicking here [https://becomingjehovah.com/] An ExJW podcast and ExJW YouTube Channel

216 – How Star Trek Helped Me Leave A Cult – For The World Is Hollow And I Have Touched The Sky

This episode documents the life of Hannah, a young woman who escaped the controlling environment of the Jehovah's Witnesses and the shadow of an abusive stepfather. The narrative explores her "origin story," detailing a childhood defined by social isolation within the faith and a domestic life spent walking on eggshells to avoid her stepfather's volatile temper. A significant turning point occurs when Hannah finds intellectual liberation through science fiction, using themes from Star Trek to recognize the systemic manipulation and "ruse" of her own religious community. Ultimately, this episode serves as a testament to personal resilience, tracing Hannah's journey from a state of "survival mode" and mental health struggles to a new life built on self-education, authentic relationships, and the simple, radical pursuit of kindness. Support the show and get bonuses as well by donating to the cause on our Patreon page, Patreon.com/shunned [http://patreon.com/shunned] http://patreon.com/shunned Are you struggling in some area of life? Feeling stuck? Need an accountability partner or some encouragement? Need to talk to someone that understands cult life? Reach out and let's talk. I have affordable programs to help as a certified life coach with a focus on cult recovery. Click HERE for more information. [https://storyworkscoaching.com/] Want more resources? Go to my other website exjwHelp.com [https://exjwhelp.com/] Leave us a review on iTunes [https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/shunned/id1278684468?mt=2] Find shunned podcast on Youtube, including new VIDcasts here [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4UJZdPiABipv9mESMjjdfA/videos?view_as=subscriber]. Follow us on Twitter [https://twitter.com/shunnedpodcast?lang=en] and Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/shunnedpodcast/]. You can listen to the Shunned Podcast Spotify playlist here for all of the songs [https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2MVvD4HmXuFOYxWVFRoF9c?fbclid=IwAR097VFK6CIM-Ws3OGVCzGek8gr3cngWbio87497LDOFUhamlwzjRiAsCSc] chosen by guests of the show. This podcast was made possible by my original podcast This JW Life. [https://thisjwlife.com/] You can find it on any podcast app. It is a 9 part series about life as Jehovah's Witnesses designed to help you understand how it worked in one comprehensive story and to help you process your own if you came from that environment. Read my FREE online book, based on This JW Life, called Becoming Jehovah, in both English and Spanish by clicking here [https://becomingjehovah.com/] An ExJW podcast and ExJW YouTube Channel

215 – All Gas, No Brakes – The Relentless Expectations Forced Upon Young Jehovah's Witnesses

In this episode Bernie, a 44-year-old former member of the Jehovah's Witnesses, provides a poignant account of growing up within a restrictive religious organization that demanded total performance-based loyalty. The narrative traces her journey from an anxious childhood defined by social isolation and harsh discipline to her eventual shunning at age sixteen for normal adolescent behavior. Central to the story is the theme of conditional love, where communal and familial acceptance is strictly predicated on adherence to church doctrine and "spiritual" productivity. Ultimately, Bernie's story serves as a powerful testament to resilience and self-actualization, documenting how she escaped a culture of fear to find genuine peace and authentic connection outside the faith. Support the show and get bonuses as well by donating to the cause on our Patreon page, Patreon.com/shunned [http://patreon.com/shunned] http://patreon.com/shunned Are you struggling in some area of life? Feeling stuck? Need an accountability partner or some encouragement? Need to talk to someone that understands cult life? Reach out and let's talk. I have affordable programs to help as a certified life coach with a focus on cult recovery. Click HERE for more information. [https://storyworkscoaching.com/] Want more resources? Go to my other website exjwHelp.com [https://exjwhelp.com/] Leave us a review on iTunes [https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/shunned/id1278684468?mt=2] Find shunned podcast on Youtube, including new VIDcasts here [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4UJZdPiABipv9mESMjjdfA/videos?view_as=subscriber]. Follow us on Twitter [https://twitter.com/shunnedpodcast?lang=en] and Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/shunnedpodcast/]. You can listen to the Shunned Podcast Spotify playlist here for all of the songs [https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2MVvD4HmXuFOYxWVFRoF9c?fbclid=IwAR097VFK6CIM-Ws3OGVCzGek8gr3cngWbio87497LDOFUhamlwzjRiAsCSc] chosen by guests of the show. This podcast was made possible by my original podcast This JW Life. [https://thisjwlife.com/] You can find it on any podcast app. It is a 9 part series about life as Jehovah's Witnesses designed to help you understand how it worked in one comprehensive story and to help you process your own if you came from that environment. Read my FREE online book, based on This JW Life, called Becoming Jehovah, in both English and Spanish by clicking here [https://becomingjehovah.com/] An ExJW podcast and ExJW YouTube Channel

214 – A Harrowing Midnight Escape – Danny Checks Out Of The Hotel California – Leaving "The Move"

In this episode, Danny shares his harrowing journey of growing up in a high-control group known as "The Move." From being "autoshunned" alongside his mother to living on a remote 300-acre commune in the Ozarks, Danny exposes the inner workings of this secretive organization. He details the transition from a traditional life in Mexico to a life of isolation, "love bombing," and extreme religious radicalization in the United States. You can find more information on the group at the following Wikipedia link: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Move_(Sam_Fife) Support the show and get bonuses as well by donating to the cause on our Patreon page, Patreon.com/shunned [http://patreon.com/shunned] http://patreon.com/shunned Are you struggling in some area of life? Feeling stuck? Need an accountability partner or some encouragement? Need to talk to someone that understands cult life? Reach out and let's talk. I have affordable programs to help as a certified life coach with a focus on cult recovery. Click HERE for more information. [https://storyworkscoaching.com/] Want more resources? Go to my other website exjwHelp.com [https://exjwhelp.com/] Leave us a review on iTunes [https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/shunned/id1278684468?mt=2] Find shunned podcast on Youtube, including new VIDcasts here [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4UJZdPiABipv9mESMjjdfA/videos?view_as=subscriber]. Follow us on Twitter [https://twitter.com/shunnedpodcast?lang=en] and Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/shunnedpodcast/]. You can listen to the Shunned Podcast Spotify playlist here for all of the songs [https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2MVvD4HmXuFOYxWVFRoF9c?fbclid=IwAR097VFK6CIM-Ws3OGVCzGek8gr3cngWbio87497LDOFUhamlwzjRiAsCSc] chosen by guests of the show. This podcast was made possible by my original podcast This JW Life. [https://thisjwlife.com/] You can find it on any podcast app. It is a 9 part series about life as Jehovah's Witnesses designed to help you understand how it worked in one comprehensive story and to help you process your own if you came from that environment. Read my FREE online book, based on This JW Life, called Becoming Jehovah, in both English and Spanish by clicking here [https://becomingjehovah.com/] An ExJW podcast and ExJW YouTube Channel