30 Years of Marriage: 3 Things About Relationships I Wish Someone Told Me Sooner

30 Years of Marriage: 3 Things About Relationships I Wish Someone Told Me Sooner

Today is Mel’s 30th wedding anniversary. And she couldn't think of a better way to celebrate than to have a sit down conversation with her husband Chris about the lessons they've learned along the way. This episode isn’t about the highlights – it’s talking about the hard lessons that have shaped their marriage these last 30 years. Mel and Chris unpack the years where they felt more like roommates than a married couple and they share stories from when stress got the best of them.  They get into how resentment and bitterness created a distance that kept growing, and how they found their way back to each other. They talk about what they wish they knew sooner and the expert advice that has helped them the most. Mel and Chris also break down their relationship truths into small, actionable things you can do to make your relationship stronger today.  In this episode, you’ll learn: -How to tell when stress has turned your partner from your favorite person into the person you blame. -Why resentment, criticism, silence, and shutdown can become a cycle that quietly pulls couples apart. -What “normal marital hatred” means and why your partner can trigger old wounds you have never fully dealt with. -How to soften during conflict instead of hardening, attacking, or retreating. -The simple rituals Mel and Chris use to rebuild connection, including notes, touch, walks, shared meals, and weekly calendar check-ins. -How to know whether your relationship has the foundation to grow with you through decades of change. Whether you are newly in love, decades into a marriage, going through a rough patch, or wondering if your relationship is going to make it through a rough season, this conversation will give you a more honest and useful way to think about lasting love.  Because the truth is, a strong relationship isn't built by avoiding the hard seasons. It’s built by learning the lessons from them and finding your way back to each other when those seasons come.  For more resources related to today’s episode, click here [https://www.melrobbins.com/episode/episode-428/] for the podcast episode page.  If you liked the episode, you should check out these ones next, both of which were mentioned on the podcast: James Sexton: The Most Eye-Opening Conversation on Marriage & Love You Will Ever Hear (From #1 Divorce Lawyer) [https://www.melrobbins.com/episode/episode-375/] Terry Real: Married, Dating, or Single: The Best Relationship Advice You Will Ever Receive [https://www.melrobbins.com/episode/episode-360/] Mel also wants to tell you:   * Try the 23g protein shot I drink every single morning [https://puregeniusprotein.com/MP] * Join 2 million readers loving my weekly newsletter - full of tips, tools, and inspiration [https://www.melrobbins.com/newsletter/] * The Let Them Theory: read the book everyone’s talking about [https://www.amazon.com/dp/1401971369?tag=lnk0001-20&geniuslink=true] * Watch the episodes on YouTube [https://bit.ly/45OWCNr] * Connect with me on Instagram [https://bit.ly/3QfG8bb] * Follow the show’s Instagram for clips, behind the scenes, and more [https://bit.ly/49bg4GP] * Find some daily positivity on my TikTok [https://bit.ly/46Kpw2v] * Want zero ads? Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes ad-free [https://siriusxm.supportingcast.fm/] * Disclaimer [https://www.melrobbins.com/disclaimer] Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com [https://pcm.adswizz.com] for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

If Someone You Love Is Having a Hard Time, Listen to This

Learn how to truly help someone you love.  When someone you care about is going through a difficult time, you can make a meaningful difference with a few simple words.  Today, clinical psychologist and three-time New York Times bestselling author Dr. Lisa Damour teaches you how to offer the right kind of support for your kid, partner, or friend without panicking, taking control, or trying to fix everything.  You’ll learn 3 questions that help you understand whether someone needs to vent, needs more support, or may need professional help.  Dr. Damour also explains why painful emotions are not always a sign that something is wrong, how to recognize when coping has become harmful, and why giving advice before understanding what someone needs can backfire.  This episode is one of Mel’s favorite conversations on The Mel Robbins Podcast, and she’s bringing it back with a brand new introduction and new insights for right now. In it, Mel gets personal about supporting her husband through depression, parenting teenagers through intense emotions, and the mistakes she made when she tried to solve every problem.  In this episode, you’ll learn: -The exact words to use when someone shuts down or pushes you away -Why the advice you give can make someone feel worse -How to respond when someone is drinking, using substances, self-harming, or avoiding life -How to listen so the person feels supported -The simple question to ask when someone is venting -How to stay calm when someone you love is overwhelmed -The 3 questions to ask when someone you love is struggling -How to tell the difference between normal stress and a serious mental health concern -The two warning signs that someone may need professional support -When and how to ask directly about suicide or self-harm -How to suggest therapy without making someone feel broken By the time you finish listening, you’ll know what to say, what not to say, and how to show up for someone you love. For more resources related to today’s episode, click here [https://www.melrobbins.com/episode/episode-427/] for the podcast episode page.  If you liked the episode, check out this one next: How to Motivate Yourself (and Others) to Change Any Behavior [https://www.melrobbins.com/episode/episode-178/] Mel also wants to tell you:   * Try the 23g protein shot I drink every single morning [https://puregeniusprotein.com/MP] * Join 2 million readers loving my weekly newsletter - full of tips, tools, and inspiration [https://www.melrobbins.com/newsletter/] * The Let Them Theory: read the book everyone’s talking about [https://www.amazon.com/dp/1401971369?tag=lnk0001-20&geniuslink=true] * Watch the episodes on YouTube [https://bit.ly/45OWCNr] * Connect with me on Instagram [https://bit.ly/3QfG8bb] * Follow the show’s Instagram for clips, behind the scenes, and more [https://bit.ly/49bg4GP] * Find some daily positivity on my TikTok [https://bit.ly/46Kpw2v] * Want zero ads? Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes ad-free [https://siriusxm.supportingcast.fm/] * Disclaimer [https://www.melrobbins.com/disclaimer] Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com [https://pcm.adswizz.com] for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

The ADHD Doctor: How to Focus, Stop Procrastinating, Manage Your Emotions, & Feel in Control

If you have ever been told that you are too emotional, sensitive, anxious, hormonal, disorganized, or simply not trying hard enough, this episode is for you. There’s a chance, according to Mel’s expert guest today, that like Mel, that the root cause of what you’re struggling with is actually ADHD. Today, Dr. Sasha Hamdani, MD, a board-certified psychiatrist and leading expert on ADHD, gives you the full and comprehensive explanation you deserve. She shares that ADHD is not just about attention. It can affect your emotions, motivation, energy, sleep, appetite, relationships, and ability to handle the demands of everyday life.  And these symptoms often get completely missed in women and girls. Mel gets deeply personal about being diagnosed at 47, the anxiety she experienced for decades that was due to untreated ADHD, and the emotional overwhelm she never realized was connected to ADHD. Dr. Hamdani explains why ADHD is mistaken for anxiety, depression, OCD, burnout, or hormonal issues (this is why so many people spend years believing there is something wrong with them!). This is the ultimate guide to adult ADHD. In this episode, you’ll learn: -Why ADHD is not just attention and focus; it’s also about regulating your mood, sleep, motivation, and energy. -Why ADHD is so often missed in women and girls -Why anxiety, depression, OCD, burnout, and ADHD are often confused (even by medical professionals) -Why criticism feels so overwhelming for anyone with ADHD -Why perfectionism, overworking, and people pleasing can be signs of ADHD -What is happening inside the ADHD brain -Why ADHD is not always a “superpower”  -The four critical steps to take if you think you or someone you love may have ADHD -The medication, therapy, coaching, tools, and systems that may help ease symptoms of ADHD -What you can start doing while you wait for professional support -The difference between the way ADHD can look externally and how it can feel internally -How hormonal changes during puberty, postpartum, and perimenopause can intensify ADHD symptoms This is an episode about understanding your brain, recognizing lifelong patterns, and learning what kind of support may be available to you. Mel also wants to tell you:   * Try the 23g protein shot I drink every single morning [https://puregeniusprotein.com/MP] * Join 2 million readers loving my weekly newsletter - full of tips, tools, and inspiration [https://www.melrobbins.com/newsletter/] * The Let Them Theory: read the book everyone’s talking about [https://www.amazon.com/dp/1401971369?tag=lnk0001-20&geniuslink=true] * Watch the episodes on YouTube [https://bit.ly/45OWCNr] * Connect with me on Instagram [https://bit.ly/3QfG8bb] * Follow the show’s Instagram for clips, behind the scenes, and more [https://bit.ly/49bg4GP] * Find some daily positivity on my TikTok [https://bit.ly/46Kpw2v] * Want zero ads? Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes ad-free [https://siriusxm.supportingcast.fm/] * Disclaimer [https://www.melrobbins.com/disclaimer] Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com [https://pcm.adswizz.com] for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Former CIA Spy: How to Eliminate Self-Doubt, Build Confidence, and Protect Yourself in Today’s World

Today, a former spy and the former Chief of Disguise for the CIA is taking you inside the heart-pounding world of espionage and the secret life she lived working undercover for 30 years.  Jonna will share the tactics and strategies you need to read anyone and spot a liar, offer a powerful warning about the state of the world today, and give you practical wisdom to find courage and face life’s hardest moments. For decades, Jonna helped intelligence officers assume new identities, disappear in plain sight, and carry out high-risk operations.  Jonna created disguises convincing enough to fool the President of the United States and the Secret Service.  Together, Jonna and her late husband, Tony Mendez, co-authored the bestselling book Argo about the CIA operation he led - the true story that inspired the Academy Award-winning film Argo. But what makes this conversation so powerful is not just the spy stories.It is Jonna’s deeply personal reflection on courage, reinvention, trust, loss, and what it means to keep going when life feels scary or uncertain. In this episode, you’ll learn: - Why courage does not come first and how confidence and preparation create it - How to stay calm under pressure  - What 30 years in the CIA taught Jonna about trusting your intuition - The signs that someone may be trying too hard to convince you of a lie - Why direct eye contact is not the lie detector most people think it is - How Jonna would change the smallest details to make someone disappear in plain sight - Why you are never starting over when you make a major change - How to stop underestimating yourself and aim higher - Why nothing meaningful is accomplished alone - How taking small steps can help you face problems that feel too big to solve Jonna will tell you that courage is not something you either have or you do not. It comes from knowing what to do, preparing yourself, and confronting the things that scare you. After today, you'll understand how to build confidence, trust yourself under pressure, and have the courage to reinvent your life…at any age. For more resources related to today’s episode, click here [https://www.melrobbins.com/episode/episode-425/] for the podcast episode page.  If you liked this episode, listen to this one next: It’s Not Too Late: How to Transform Your Life at Any Moment [https://www.melrobbins.com/episode/episode-332/] Mel wants to add: * Try the 23g protein shot I drink every single morning [https://puregeniusprotein.com/MP] * Join 2 million readers loving my weekly newsletter - full of tips, tools, and inspiration [https://www.melrobbins.com/newsletter/] * The Let Them Theory: read the book everyone’s talking about [https://www.amazon.com/dp/1401971369?tag=lnk0001-20&geniuslink=true] * Watch the episodes on YouTube [https://bit.ly/45OWCNr] * Connect with me on Instagram [https://bit.ly/3QfG8bb] * Follow the show’s Instagram for clips, behind the scenes, and more [https://bit.ly/49bg4GP] * Find some daily positivity on my TikTok [https://bit.ly/46Kpw2v] * Want zero ads? Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes ad-free [https://siriusxm.supportingcast.fm/] * Disclaimer [https://www.melrobbins.com/disclaimer] Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com [https://pcm.adswizz.com] for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

The Exact Episode You Need to Hear Today if You Feel Overwhelmed, Stressed, or Stuck

Today's episode is a conversation you are going to want to revisit over and over and over. You are about to learn the skills nobody ever taught you, but you need now more than ever. It's hard to not feel exhausted and just overwhelmed in today's world. You are constantly being bombarded with bad news, followed up by worse news.  All of that while you still try and deal with the hurdles of just living a regular life. That is where today's guest, therapist Kier Gaines comes in. Mel absolutely adores this man and constantly seeks out his advice as a source of calm, ease, and understanding.  But it isn't just Mel. Across platforms, millions of people turn to Kier Gaines because he has a knack for turning complicated emotions you don't quite have the words for and explains them in a way that makes sense. He then gives you tools to come back to yourself so you don't get flooded in those emotions.  This is a conversation about how to handle life in today's chaotic world.  You’ll laugh, and you’ll probably tear up a little bit, but at the end you will feel the sense of calm that Kier is known for bringing, and you’ll be ready to show up differently in all of your relationships that matter most to you. In today's episode you will learn: -What to do when everything feels like too much -How to stop trying to control other people and finally find more peace -What to do when you're spiraling, overthinking, or about to lose your cool -Why you keep having the same arguments, and how to break the cycle -How to build confidence that doesn't depend on other people's approval -The simple mindset shifts that will help you feel more grounded, more present, and more in control of your life By the end of this episode you will have control of your emotions and be ready to stop letting them control you. You’ll walk away with tools you can start using today to show up in your life with more clarity, calm, and confidence.  For more resources related to today’s episode, click here [https://www.melrobbins.com/episode/episode-424/] for the podcast episode page.  If you liked this episode, listen to this one next: Why You Feel Lost in Life: Dr. Gabor Maté on Trauma & How to Heal [https://www.melrobbins.com/episode/episode-274/] Mel wants to add:   * Try the 23g protein shot I drink every single morning [https://puregeniusprotein.com/MP] * Join 2 million readers loving my weekly newsletter - full of tips, tools, and inspiration [https://www.melrobbins.com/newsletter/] * The Let Them Theory: read the book everyone’s talking about [https://www.amazon.com/dp/1401971369?tag=lnk0001-20&geniuslink=true] * Watch the episodes on YouTube [https://bit.ly/45OWCNr] * Connect with me on Instagram [https://bit.ly/3QfG8bb] * Follow the show’s Instagram for clips, behind the scenes, and more [https://bit.ly/49bg4GP] * Find some daily positivity on my TikTok [https://bit.ly/46Kpw2v] * Want zero ads? Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes ad-free [https://siriusxm.supportingcast.fm/] * Disclaimer [https://www.melrobbins.com/disclaimer] Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com [https://pcm.adswizz.com] for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.