The Stupid Idea of Perfection: Why Life Isn't a Maths Exam

The Kolher Principle: Good, Better, Best: Finishing Well

Contact us by whatsapp on +447485622662- let us know what you think of this episode. [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2286309/fan_mail/new] If you’ve ever looked at something you created and thought, “It’s fine… but it doesn’t look impressive enough,” you’re not alone. I’m Cheryl Paris, and I’m exploring a common thread that ties together work stress, anxiety, and perfectionism: our tendency to value polish over truth. A polished presentation, a neatly crafted email, a confident reply, or an attractive wellbeing program can all give the impression of quality. However, presentation is not the same as substance, and when we confuse the two, we start doubting our own judgment and reward appearances instead of true value. We examine how “high standards” can trap us: rewriting, rehearsing, checking, and then doing the invisible second job of making everything appear effortless. This shifting goalpost keeps you in a constant state of work without allowing you to truly land or succeed. I also delve into the fears underlying perfectionism—the belief that if you can achieve perfection, you can ensure your safety. The issue is that you can be fully prepared and still face criticism; not all criticism reflects your true worth. Then, we move into practical territory with a simple framework that you can start using today: good, better, best. These are not measures of your self-worth but levels of investment based on time, energy, and the needs of the situation. I share four questions to help you choose the right standard, along with the ABGW method: Awareness, Balance, Growth, and Wellbeing. This approach aims to alleviate the pressure of work feeling like a judgment of your value. If this resonates with you, please subscribe, share it with a friend who might also be over-polishing their work, and leave a review. What’s one task you’re ready to finish at “good” today? The contents of this podcast are for informational purposes only and should not be considered medical advice. If you have a specific health concern or condition, please consult a qualified Healthcare professional for more details. Check out herguru dot uk forward slash disclaimers [http://herguru.uk/disclaimers] Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2286309/support] If this episode helped, please share it with someone who needs a calmer five minutes: https://followthepodcast.com/workstressanxiety [https://followthepodcast.com/workstressanxiety] If you'd like to support the podcast, leaving a review genuinely helps other overwhelmed humans find it without having to survive another "10x your mindset" podcast first: https://lovethepodcast.com/workstressanxiety [https://lovethepodcast.com/workstressanxiety] Got feedback, a question, or a future episode suggestion? https://podcastfeedback.com/workstressanxiety [https://podcastfeedback.com/workstressanxiety] Work Stress Anxiety by ABGW is part of HerGuru Hypnotherapy and Coaching™ and grounded in the ABGW Method®. Calm first. Reality first. Then change.™ Connect with Cheryl Paris LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cherylparis/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/cherylparis/] Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/abgwblog [https://www.facebook.com/abgwblog] Shared stories are anonymised. This podcast is provided for educational and self- reflective purposes only and does not constitute medical, psychological, legal, workplace, or professional advice. Disclaimer: https://herguru.uk/disclaimers/ [https://herguru.uk/disclaimers/] © Cheryl Paris. Copyright 2026. All rights reserved.

The Umbridge Effect: Evidence, Confidence, and Identity at Work

Contact us by whatsapp on +447485622662- let us know what you think of this episode. [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2286309/fan_mail/new] One email can undo a week's worth of solid work, and it's not because you've suddenly become “bad at your job.” We share the story of Roberta, a capable bus driver who remains professional through difficult incidents and even saves a life with her emergency first aid skills, yet finds her confidence diminishing under a manager’s selective attention. When your biggest achievements are overlooked and your smallest mistakes are highlighted in public, it alters your perception of what constitutes evidence about your performance. We explore the underlying mechanics of workplace stress and anxiety: how “email theatre” turns feedback into a public display, how language becomes vague when the team fails but painfully specific when an individual slips, and why control can often appear friendly, cloaked in rules, procedures, and performative concern. Most importantly, we address what’s happening within your body. The nervous system doesn’t analyse paragraphs; it scans for danger. After facing repeated scrutiny, your brain begins to predict the next blow, leading you to rewrite messages, rehearse explanations, and monitor yourself before anyone else even speaks. Next, we provide practical tools for rebuilding informed confidence without disregarding the validity of criticism. We differentiate between what actually happened and what was implied, use quick grounding techniques to signal safety to the body, and create a “full evidence record” to ensure your true competence isn’t edited out of the narrative.  If this pattern continues to negatively affect your health, we will also discuss the importance of seeking support rather than shouldering it alone. If this resonates with you, please subscribe, share the episode with someone who could benefit, and leave a review. What’s one win you’ve achieved recently, even if it wasn’t perfect? The contents of this podcast are for informational purposes only and should not be considered medical advice. If you have a specific health concern or condition, please consult a qualified Healthcare professional for more details. Check out herguru dot uk forward slash disclaimers [http://herguru.uk/disclaimers] Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2286309/support] If this episode helped, please share it with someone who needs a calmer five minutes: https://followthepodcast.com/workstressanxiety [https://followthepodcast.com/workstressanxiety] If you'd like to support the podcast, leaving a review genuinely helps other overwhelmed humans find it without having to survive another "10x your mindset" podcast first: https://lovethepodcast.com/workstressanxiety [https://lovethepodcast.com/workstressanxiety] Got feedback, a question, or a future episode suggestion? https://podcastfeedback.com/workstressanxiety [https://podcastfeedback.com/workstressanxiety] Work Stress Anxiety by ABGW is part of HerGuru Hypnotherapy and Coaching™ and grounded in the ABGW Method®. Calm first. Reality first. Then change.™ Connect with Cheryl Paris LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cherylparis/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/cherylparis/] Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/abgwblog [https://www.facebook.com/abgwblog] Shared stories are anonymised. This podcast is provided for educational and self- reflective purposes only and does not constitute medical, psychological, legal, workplace, or professional advice. Disclaimer: https://herguru.uk/disclaimers/ [https://herguru.uk/disclaimers/] © Cheryl Paris. Copyright 2026. All rights reserved.

Sherlock Holmes and the Art of Confidence: When Evidence Becomes Overthinking

Contact us by whatsapp on +447485622662- let us know what you think of this episode. [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2286309/fan_mail/new] You can know the right answer and still feel unsure the moment you have to act.  That single gap between knowledge and trust is where work stress and anxiety loves to live, especially for conscientious people who carry responsibility and want to do a good job. We share the story of Caroline, a 25-year-old newly qualified pharmacist who reads a prescription, understands what to do, then checks and checks again.  She isn’t unsafe or careless, but her delays start to appear uncertain to others.  From managers rewriting emails to teachers second-guessing lessons, we explore why overthinking at work is so common among smart, capable professionals, and why “just be more confident” misses the point. The turning point comes with a Sherlock Holmes lens: great detectives gather evidence, but they also stop.  Overthinking is often not a lack of ability, but evidence gathering with no finish line.  We talk about how training, exams, and constant assessment can condition your nervous system to behave as if you’re still being marked, long after you’re qualified.  Then we introduce a practical way to end the mental loop by chairing the “committee meeting” inside your head, deciding which protective voice gets the casting vote. You’ll leave with a simple three-question exercise to separate facts from assumptions and fear, and a clearer definition of confidence as timely professional judgment.  If you know someone stuck in reassurance seeking, perfectionism, imposter syndrome, or decision paralysis, share this with them.  Subscribe, leave a review, and tell us what decision you’re ready to close the case on. The contents of this podcast are for informational purposes only and should not be considered medical advice. If you have a specific health concern or condition, please consult a qualified Healthcare professional for more details. Check out herguru dot uk forward slash disclaimers [http://herguru.uk/disclaimers] Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2286309/support] If this episode helped, please share it with someone who needs a calmer five minutes: https://followthepodcast.com/workstressanxiety [https://followthepodcast.com/workstressanxiety] If you'd like to support the podcast, leaving a review genuinely helps other overwhelmed humans find it without having to survive another "10x your mindset" podcast first: https://lovethepodcast.com/workstressanxiety [https://lovethepodcast.com/workstressanxiety] Got feedback, a question, or a future episode suggestion? https://podcastfeedback.com/workstressanxiety [https://podcastfeedback.com/workstressanxiety] Work Stress Anxiety by ABGW is part of HerGuru Hypnotherapy and Coaching™ and grounded in the ABGW Method®. Calm first. Reality first. Then change.™ Connect with Cheryl Paris LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cherylparis/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/cherylparis/] Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/abgwblog [https://www.facebook.com/abgwblog] Shared stories are anonymised. This podcast is provided for educational and self- reflective purposes only and does not constitute medical, psychological, legal, workplace, or professional advice. Disclaimer: https://herguru.uk/disclaimers/ [https://herguru.uk/disclaimers/] © Cheryl Paris. Copyright 2026. All rights reserved.

Why Sleep Is the Ultimate Act of Self-Respect

Contact us by whatsapp on +447485622662- let us know what you think of this episode. [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2286309/fan_mail/new] You can spend thousands chasing better health and still feel worn out, snappy, foggy, and stuck in your own head at night. We keep buying the tools, but we keep postponing the most powerful recovery process we already have: sleep. And if work stress or anxiety is running your evenings, that postponement starts to look less like “productivity” and more like self neglect. We tell a story about Ella, a high achieving counsellor who supports everyone else all day, then quietly bargains away her own rest each night. It starts with good intentions and ends with midnight, scrolling, one more email, one more task, and then the lights go out and her brain starts the night shift. From there, we push back on the cultural badge of honour that says exhaustion equals commitment, and we borrow a surprisingly sharp lesson from Bagpuss: when work is finished, rest without guilt, then wake fully when it is time. We also break down a crucial sleep myth: nothing is happening while you sleep. Your body is repairing tissue, balancing hormones, strengthening immunity, sorting memory, and regulating emotions. When you cut sleep short, you do not just lose rest, you interrupt the very system that makes patience, clarity, and resilience possible. We end with a simple seven night experiment: a five minute “landing strip” before bed that signals safety and closure to your nervous system, without turning bedtime into another impossible wellness routine. If this resonates, subscribe, share it with someone who is burning the candle at both ends, and leave a review. What is the one thing that most often steals your sleep? The contents of this podcast are for informational purposes only and should not be considered medical advice. If you have a specific health concern or condition, please consult a qualified Healthcare professional for more details. Check out herguru dot uk forward slash disclaimers [http://herguru.uk/disclaimers] Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2286309/support] If this episode helped, please share it with someone who needs a calmer five minutes: https://followthepodcast.com/workstressanxiety [https://followthepodcast.com/workstressanxiety] If you'd like to support the podcast, leaving a review genuinely helps other overwhelmed humans find it without having to survive another "10x your mindset" podcast first: https://lovethepodcast.com/workstressanxiety [https://lovethepodcast.com/workstressanxiety] Got feedback, a question, or a future episode suggestion? https://podcastfeedback.com/workstressanxiety [https://podcastfeedback.com/workstressanxiety] Work Stress Anxiety by ABGW is part of HerGuru Hypnotherapy and Coaching™ and grounded in the ABGW Method®. Calm first. Reality first. Then change.™ Connect with Cheryl Paris LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cherylparis/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/cherylparis/] Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/abgwblog [https://www.facebook.com/abgwblog] Shared stories are anonymised. This podcast is provided for educational and self- reflective purposes only and does not constitute medical, psychological, legal, workplace, or professional advice. Disclaimer: https://herguru.uk/disclaimers/ [https://herguru.uk/disclaimers/] © Cheryl Paris. Copyright 2026. All rights reserved.

Mr Darcy, Workplace Anxiety and the Exhaustion of Being the Capable One

Contact us by whatsapp on +447485622662- let us know what you think of this episode. [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2286309/fan_mail/new] You can be excellent at your job and still be running on fumes. We talk about the kind of competence that gets applauded, the calm voice, the quick fixes, the “no problem” email, and how that same capability can quietly turn into a costume that drains your health. I introduce Frederica, a high-performing interior designer who manages people, holds pressure, and keeps everything moving while feeling depleted in a way sleep cannot touch. Together we name the workplace trap: the more capable you seem, the less anyone checks whether you are coping. We also look at the nervous system side of work stress and workplace anxiety, the old rulebook that says don’t disappoint, don’t need too much, don’t be difficult, and how those rules can feel logical even when they are exhausting. You’ll hear why praise does not convince your body that the load is sustainable, and how the signs show up anyway: jaw tension, shallow breathing, that stomach drop when another message lands, and the 2am “complaint department” in your brain. Then we shift the goal from being endlessly reliable to being sustainably capable, professional without self-abandonment. We end with practical, low-drama tools you can use today: pause before the automatic yes, name the rule you feel you “must” follow, loosen it by one notch, and try one clean boundary sentence that does not apologise for your existence. If this resonated, subscribe, share it with a capable friend who is carrying too much, and leave a review so more people can find support, what’s the old rule you’re ready to rewrite? The contents of this podcast are for informational purposes only and should not be considered medical advice. If you have a specific health concern or condition, please consult a qualified Healthcare professional for more details. Check out herguru dot uk forward slash disclaimers [http://herguru.uk/disclaimers] Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2286309/support] If this episode helped, please share it with someone who needs a calmer five minutes: https://followthepodcast.com/workstressanxiety [https://followthepodcast.com/workstressanxiety] If you'd like to support the podcast, leaving a review genuinely helps other overwhelmed humans find it without having to survive another "10x your mindset" podcast first: https://lovethepodcast.com/workstressanxiety [https://lovethepodcast.com/workstressanxiety] Got feedback, a question, or a future episode suggestion? https://podcastfeedback.com/workstressanxiety [https://podcastfeedback.com/workstressanxiety] Work Stress Anxiety by ABGW is part of HerGuru Hypnotherapy and Coaching™ and grounded in the ABGW Method®. Calm first. Reality first. Then change.™ Connect with Cheryl Paris LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cherylparis/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/cherylparis/] Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/abgwblog [https://www.facebook.com/abgwblog] Shared stories are anonymised. This podcast is provided for educational and self- reflective purposes only and does not constitute medical, psychological, legal, workplace, or professional advice. Disclaimer: https://herguru.uk/disclaimers/ [https://herguru.uk/disclaimers/] © Cheryl Paris. Copyright 2026. All rights reserved.