Adoption Retold

Motherhood, with Mellisa Lathion and Molly McLaurin

For all members of the adoption constellation, Mother’s Day, as with motherhood itself, can bring up a host of complicated emotions, from grief, shame, and doubt, to gratitude and joy. For adoptees and birthmothers especially, raising biological children of our own presents its own unique challenges and gifts. Join us today for this special Mother’s Day episode as we talk with members of the Faith Collective for Truth and Healing in Adoption, adoptee Molly McLaurin and birthmother Mellisa Lathion, about how relinquishment and adoption has impacted them as mothers, how cultural factors shape our views of family and motherhood and who is a worthy mother, and how faith communities can better serve adoptees, birthmothers, and mothers in crisis on Mother’s Day and beyond. This is the final episode of our first season. We are immensely grateful to all of you who have journeyed with us thus far, exploring the intersection of adoption and faith from the perspectives of adoptees and birth families. We encourage you to follow us on our website as we continue to offer new content, and hope you will join us again on the podcast for Season 2, launching in October. Mellisa Lathion has been a birth mom for the past 25 years and has been working in healthcare for the past 14 years. She is in reunion with her birth son, who she placed in a semi-open adoption in 1999. Mellisa is passionate about sharing her story and providing evidence-based education to empower others in order to improve the care of those impacted by adoption. Mellisa has her MSN in Nursing Education and works as a Nurse Educator and Lactation Coordinator. She is certified in Maternal Newborn Nursing and Respectful Equitable Care. Mellisa is married to her husband of 15 years and together they have a son and daughter. Mellisa also has 8 “bonus” children, as well as 27 “bonus” grandchildren. Molly McLaurin is founder of Monarch Connections [https://monarch-connections.com/molly#monarch-connections], a company focused on empowering, creating connections, and exploring various identities through intimate and group-facilitated conversations, panel events, and more. As part of Monarch Connections, Molly leads Adoptee Talk, a gathering for adult adoptees and former foster youth to make meaningful connections while discussing the joys and struggles of life as adoptees.  Molly is a Black, transracial adoptee who always knew she was mixed race, white, and other. She was raised with her twin sister in a white, two-parent, Air Force/pro-military, “Christian” home. Having a global upbringing allowed Molly to see the world, yet it has also forced her to deconstruct ideas that she was taught due to being raised “colorblind” by white folks. She is unpacking white privilege, institutionalized racism and other dynamics related to adoption, race, and faith. She is currently in reunion with her Haitian Dad, cousins, and Taties, and had one phone call with her first mom before she passed. Molly is proud that her biological sons will never live with the unknowns around racial identity.  CONTACT US Faith Collective for Truth and Healing in Adoption: Website [https://adoptionfaithcollective.org/] | Instagram [http://www.instagram.com/adoptionfaithcollective] RESOURCES Monarch Connections [https://monarch-connections.com/molly#monarch-connections] The Primal Wound, by Nancy Verrier [https://www.amazon.com/Primal-Wound-Understanding-Adopted-Child/dp/0963648004] Who Is a Worthy Mother? An Intimate History of Adoption, by Rebecca Wellington [https://www.oupress.com/9780806193700/who-is-a-worthy-mother/]

Adoption and Economics, with Colin Fagan

We most often talk about adoption from the perspectives of those most directly involved: birth families, adoptees, and adoptive families. We may even include the agencies, social workers, lawyers, and others close to the process. But what happens when we zoom out further and examine adoption as a complex system involving market forces and pervasive attitudes of cultural, religious, and racial superiority? Today, we speak with Anglican deacon, adoptee, and member of the Faith Collective for Truth and Healing, Colin Fagan, and take a deep dive into the structural underbelly and economic realities of the adoption system, especially as it intersects with our faith communities. Colin Fagan’s interests and reflections intersect at the connection of theological ethics and spiritual formation as resources for more robust and constructive pathways for the Church’s discussion on adoption, as well as its pastoral care for all impacted by it. As a spiritual director and ordained minister, he cares deeply that the Church be a space for adoptees to thrive and flourish and discover that the tragedy implicit in adoption can be held well alongside the hope of a transfigured life that is discovered in friendship with Jesus. Colin was ordained to the diaconate in the Anglican tradition and is currently a part of the Diocese of Saint Anthony in the Communion of Evangelical Episcopal Churches. He holds an MA in Conflict Resolution and Master of Divinity, both from Lipscomb University. He lives in Tennessee with his family. CONTACT US Faith Collective for Truth and Healing in Adoption: Website [https://adoptionfaithcollective.org/] | Instagram [http://www.instagram.com/adoptionfaithcollective] RESOURCES The Child Catchers: Rescue, Trafficking, and the New Gospel of Adoption, by Kathryn Joyce [https://www.hachettebookgroup.com/titles/kathryn-joyce/the-child-catchers/9781586489434/?lens=publicaffairs] The Adoption Machine: The Dark History of Ireland’s Mother & Baby Homes and the Inside Story of How ‘Tuam 800’ Became a Global Scandal, by Paul Jude Redmond [https://www.irishacademicpress.ie/product/the-adoption-machine-the-dark-history-of-irelands-mother-baby-homes-and-the-inside-story-of-how-tuam-800-became-a-global-scandal/] Being Consumed: Economics and Christian Desire, by William T. Cavanaugh [https://scielo.org.za/scielo.php?script=sci_arttext&pid=S1015-87582016000200003] “Orphans in Early Mediterranean Antiquity and Early Christianity,” by JT Fitzgerald [https://scielo.org.za/scielo.php?script=sci_arttext&pid=S1015-87582016000200003]

Birth Mothers and the Church

In the United States, families seeking to adopt outnumber available babies by approximately 50 to 1. This imbalance often leads to aggressive, sometimes exploitative practices toward mothers in crisis by an adoption industry swamped with misinformation. Furthermore, churches are often at the forefront of promoting and facilitating adoptions, with an abundance of money and resources changing hands that could otherwise be used to help these mothers in need. Those in the church who promote adoption tend to portray birth mothers who relinquish as making the brave, loving, selfless choice. But what do birth mothers have to say to the church? Today, we talk to three birth mothers, members of the Faith Collective for Truth and Healing in Adoption who grew up and remain Christian, about the complexities of their experiences—of shame, grief, loss, reunion, faith, and how they believe churches can better care for struggling mothers.  Amber Jimerson is a birth mom of a young-adult son in a semi-open adoption, a psychology student, and a preacher’s wife. She is a former board member of the National Association of Adoptees and Parents, where she facilitated the First Families Support Group for two years. Currently, she facilitates the Knee-to-Knee in-person support group for birth moms in central Indiana, hosted by Adoptions of Indiana. Both she and her husband, who preaches at the Brownsburg Church of Christ, are also artists and parent their four children together. Beka Overby is a birth mom currently in reunion with her first son who she placed in a semi-open, private adoption after finding herself pregnant at 16. After attending Multnomah Bible College in Portland, Oregon and then studying pastoral counseling in Sydney, Australia, Beka began working in full-time ministry. Both she and her husband, Seth, currently minister at New Hope Church in Portland, Oregon. Beka and Seth parent three boys together and enjoy spending time outdoors in the beautiful Pacific Northwest. Mellisa Lathion has been a birth mom for the past 25 years and has been working in healthcare for the past 14 years. She is in reunion with her birth son, who she placed in a semi-open adoption in 1999. Mellisa is passionate about sharing her story and providing evidence-based education to empower others in order to improve the care of those impacted by adoption. Mellisa has her MSN in Nursing Education and works as a Nurse Educator and Lactation Coordinator. She is certified in Maternal Newborn Nursing and Respectful Equitable Care. Mellisa is married to her husband of 15 years and together they have a son and daughter.  CONTACT US Faith Collective for Truth and Healing in Adoption: Website [https://adoptionfaithcollective.org/] | Instagram [http://www.instagram.com/adoptionfaithcollective] RESOURCES The Knee-to-Knee Group, Adoptions of Indiana [https://adoptionsofindiana.org/adoption-resources/#lifelong] Fireweed: I am His Fireweed, blooming from adversity, a display of His splendor [https://www.amazon.com/Fireweed-blooming-adversity-display-splendor/dp/1085811905] CUB: Concerned United Birthparents [https://concernedunitedbirthparents.org/] Love, Your Birth Mom [https://www.loveyourbirthmom.com/] On Your Feet Foundation [https://onyourfeetfoundation.org/] Twisted Sisterhood Podcast [https://www.twistedsisterhoodpodcast.com/] Utah Adoption Rights [https://www.utahadoptionrights.com/] Weaving Threads [https://www.weavingthreads.org/]

Love Covers Shame, with Iris Bryant

Today we celebrate Black History Month with our guest, Iris Bryant, an adoptee and member of the Faith Collective for Truth and Healing in Adoption. Iris is passionate about helping fellow adoptees find purpose and well-being. We explore the connections between shame, race, and adoption, how shame flourishes when we cannot speak the truth, and how churches need to foster courageous truth-telling and listening in order to be places of healing and welcome for all. We also discuss our contrasting experiences as two same-race adoptees and one cross-racial adoptee, and speak on how to reclaim our unique, God-given identities. Iris P. Bryant, a North Carolina native, has been shaped by some of her most difficult life experiences—walking through rejection and abandonment, learning to navigate life as a caregiver, and facing grief after losing her husband, David, the love of her life. Hence, she is able to speak with empathy and compassion into the pain of others. She shares stories from her life in order to share God’s message through her own podcast, Adoptees in Arms. Iris has two young-adult children and two adorable granddaughters. CONNECT WITH US Iris Bryant: Website [https://irispbryant.com/] | Adoptees in Arms Podcast [https://adopteesinarms.com/] Faith Collective for Truth and Healing in Adoption: Website [https://adoptionfaithcollective.org] | Instagram [http://www.instagram.com/adoptionfaithcollective]

Renew and Reset, with Julian Washio-Collette

In this first episode of the new year, we explore the topic renewal and resetting, which can be particularly sensitive for adoptees. As a twice-adopted person, Julian Washio-Collette is certainly no stranger to starting over, whether in his childhood or in his life as an adult. With Julian, we explore how the impacts of choicelessly starting over twice through relinquishment and adoption linger into adulthood; how a mysterious intuition to visit a monastery while bicycle touring transformed the adoption script and fostered a life-changing renewal of faith; and how to navigate at the intersections of spirituality and healing, contemplation and a life of service in community. Julian Washio-Collette is a domestic, Baby Scoop Era double-adoptee, relinquished and adopted as an infant and again at age nine. He took temporary vows as a Benedictine monk at New Camaldoli Hermitage in Big Sur, California, and currently resides with his wife, Lisa, at Dandelion House, a Catholic Worker house of hospitality near Portland, Oregon. CONNECT WITH US Julian Washio-Collette: Blog [https://peregrineadoptee.wordpress.com/] | Dandelion House [https://dandelionhouse.org/] Faith Collective for Truth and Healing in Adoption: Website [https://adoptionfaithcollective.org] | Instagram [http://www.instagram.com/adoptionfaithcollective]