I Am Not Enough (And Other Lies Your Mind Believes)

How to Stop Taking Things Personally

What your brain, your Enneagram type, and two simple practices can teach you.  Have you ever spent hours replaying a two-word email, wondering if someone is upset with you? Or convinced yourself that one awkward conversation meant you'd done something wrong? If you have, you're not alone. In this episode of Beyond the Type, Sandy Swanson explores one of the most common questions she hears in coaching sessions: why do I take everything so personally?  She unpacks why certain comments, emails, and interactions seem to lodge themselves in our minds while others pass right through, and why that has less to do with sensitivity and more to do with wiring. Using a story from a walk through nature (complete with sticky burdock burrs and a duck that inspired an unexpected lesson), you'll discover why negative experiences seem to "stick," how the stories we tell ourselves shape our relationships, and how the Enneagram influences the kinds of comments that affect each of us differently. You'll also learn two practical tools that can help you stop spiraling, create space between a situation and your interpretation of it, and train your brain to notice more of what's going right. In this episode: * Why your brain is wired to notice criticism more than praise * A simple practice for interrupting unhelpful thinking * Why different Enneagram types take different things personally * A daily habit that helps retrain your brain toward the positive * How to become more like a duck... and less like a burdock burr If you've ever found yourself replaying conversations, overthinking emails, or worrying about what other people think of you, this episode is for you. ___ taking things personally, why do I take things personally, how to stop taking things personally, negativity bias, the story I'm making up, self-trust, Enneagram, Enneagram types, personal development podcast, life coach podcast, leadership coach, emotional reactivity, overthinking, rumination, gratitude practice, nervous system, boundaries, self-awareness, holistic coaching, Beyond the Type, Sandy Swanson, SwansonCoaching

Why People Stop Trusting You (And How to Build It Back)

Trust isn't built in one big moment. It's built in hundreds of small ones. Trust is the foundation of every relationship, whether it's with a partner, a friend, a client, or a coworker. And it rarely disappears in one big moment. More often, it erodes through small ones: the phone glanced at mid-conversation, the plan canceled one too many times, the reasoning that was never quite explained. Those moments add up, and they leave people wondering: Do you care about me? Do I understand your thinking? Can I count on you? In this episode, Sandy explores a powerful framework for understanding trust through the Enneagram's three Centers of Intelligence: heart, head, and gut.   She also shares: * Personal stories * A trust framework inspired by Harvard Business School professor Frances Frei * Coaching examples for coaches to consider * How each Enneagram type might unconsciously skip over trust * Practical ways to strengthen trust through empathy, clear communication, and follow-through. Whether you're a coach, a leader, or simply someone who wants healthier relationships, this episode offers a practical way to recognize where trust starts to wobble and what to do about it. ___ Frances Frei's TED talk on trust: https://www.ted.com/talks/frances_frei_how_to_build_and_rebuild_trust [https://www.ted.com/talks/frances_frei_how_to_build_and_rebuild_trust] Beyond the Type Episode on Enneagram Stances: https://www.swansoncoaching.com/podcasts/beyond-the-type-an-enneagram-inspired-podcast-about-being-human/episodes/2149067197 [https://www.swansoncoaching.com/podcasts/beyond-the-type-an-enneagram-inspired-podcast-about-being-human/episodes/2149067197]   ___ Are you a coach looking for support?  Check out my new small-group mentor coaching program: Patterns, Presence, and the Enneagram. NBHWC approved for 9 CEs (ICF CCEs pending approval). Learn more here: https://www.swansoncoaching.com/coaches-enneagram [https://www.swansoncoaching.com/coaches-enneagram] ___ trust, building trust, rebuilding trust, trust in relationships, how to trust again, trust issues, broken trust, trust and communication, trust in coaching, coaching trust, empathy, active listening, emotional intelligence, communication skills, healthy communication, relationship communication, workplace communication, leadership communication, integrity, follow through, accountability, Enneagram, Enneagram types, Enneagram centers of intelligence, heart center, head center, gut center, personal development, self awareness, relationship advice, healthy relationships, coaching skills, life coaching, leadership development, Frances Frei, three legged stool trust, communication framework, relational trust, workplace trust, trust at work.

How to Start Over Without Leaving Yourself Behind

Career Change, Divorce, Empty Nest, Retirement, and Other Life Transitions Life transitions come in many forms, but they often ask the same things of us: What do we take with us? What do we leave behind? What needs to be honored before we move forward?  In this episode, Sandy shares seven questions that she uses with coaching clients who are navigating major life changes. These aren't quick fixes or silver linings wrapped in motivational quotes. They're thoughtful questions designed to help you reflect, find closure, and step into your next chapter with intention. You'll explore: • What you want to carry forward • What no longer deserves a seat in the moving van • How to honor the past without getting stuck there • Which areas of well-being need your attention right now • What Sheila from accounting taught us about boundaries and letting go If you're going through a career transition, divorce, grief, an empty nest, retirement, a breakup, or any other major life change, this episode is for you. ___ Beyond the Type Episode on True Self/False Self: https://www.swansoncoaching.com/podcasts/beyond-the-type-an-enneagram-inspired-podcast-about-being-human/episodes/2149215312 [https://www.swansoncoaching.com/podcasts/beyond-the-type-an-enneagram-inspired-podcast-about-being-human/episodes/2149215312] ___ Stay in touch! Sign up for my newsletter here and receive my 9 Ways to Communicate Better guide: https://www.swansoncoaching.com/communication [https://www.swansoncoaching.com/communication] ___ Are you a coach looking for support?  Check out my new small-group mentor coaching program: Patterns, Presence, and the Enneagram. NBHWC approved for 9 CEs (ICF CCEs pending approval). Learn more here: https://www.swansoncoaching.com/coaches-enneagram [https://www.swansoncoaching.com/coaches-enneagram] ___ life transitions, career change, divorce, breaking up, empty nest syndrome, retirement, grief, personal growth, life coaching, emotional well-being, navigating change, starting over, new beginnings, midlife reinvention, letting go, personal growth, self-discovery, life coaching, Enneagram, identity loss, layoff, job loss, what to do when life changes, how to start over, navigating change, beginning again, life after divorce, empty nester, career transition, midlife women, holistic life coach, personal development, emotional wellness, self-awareness, beyond the type podcast, Sandy Swanson, Swanson Coaching

Why You Feel Guilty Resting (And Why Summer Makes It Worse)

Why do so many people feel guilty when they slow down, even when their body and intuition are telling them to do exactly that?  If you've ever felt low-energy, nostalgic, or experienced "summer sadness" during the warmer months when everyone else seems to be thriving, this episode is for you. Sandy opens with a personal story about sitting alone in her car on her birthday, feeling forgotten and weepy, listening to the radio, and letting herself be sad for a while. And how, surprisingly, that felt exactly right. She also talks about crabs. No, not those kinds of crabs, yikes - the Cancer season kind of crabs. And what the symbolism of this time of year might have to say about why you've been feeling the way you've been feeling lately. Sandy also brings in the Enneagram, looking at how each type's stance relates to rest, productivity, guilt, and the cultural pressure to always be building, optimizing, or becoming the next version of yourself.  ___ Stay in touch! Sign up for my newsletter here and receive my 9 Ways to Communicate Better guide: https://www.swansoncoaching.com/communication [https://www.swansoncoaching.com/communication] Podcast Ep - Stances:  Why You Withdraw, Talk Too Much,  or Bulldoze People https://www.swansoncoaching.com/podcasts/beyond-the-type-an-enneagram-inspired-podcast-about-being-human/episodes/2149067197 [https://www.swansoncoaching.com/podcasts/beyond-the-type-an-enneagram-inspired-podcast-about-being-human/episodes/2149067197] ___ rest guilt, guilty for resting, why do I feel guilty when I'm not productive, summer sadness, summer blues, feeling low in summer, why do I feel sad in summer, summer depression, emotional exhaustion, burnout recovery, permission to rest, slowing down, nervous system regulation, productivity shame, Enneagram and rest, Enneagram personal growth, Enneagram burnout, Enneagram withdrawing types, self-compassion, inner critic, people pleasing and rest, hustle culture, beyond the type podcast, Sandy Swanson, SwansonCoaching, holistic life coaching, emotional intelligence, seasonal emotions, Cancer season, summer anxiety, leadership burnout, rest without guilt

The Enneagram Guide to Surviving (and Understanding) Your Family This Summer

You've done the work. The therapy, the journaling, the coaching, maybe you've had a few real breakthroughs. And then summer rolls around. And so does the inevitable trip home to see your family, friends, and people from your past. And it feels like all of your hard work just goes right out the window. Why does this always happen??!? In this episode of Beyond the Type, Sandy answers that question, explores why outdated versions of ourselves seem to show up uninvited, and how our Enneagram type (and the types of the people we grew up with) shape that whole experience of "going home". In this episode: * Why your nervous system doesn't read a calendar (and why that matters when you walk into your childhood home) * How Enneagram Types 4, 5, and 9 relate differently to the past, and what that means for nostalgia * What it's like growing up with (or being) a Type 1, Type 2, or Type 6 * How big, future-facing energy (Types 3, 7, 8) shows up in family dynamics * Three exercises to bring a little more awareness to your next visit home, and why naming things (your fears, your hopes, what "role" you playing when you were younger) is important Sandy also stresses the importance of compassion - both for your family and for yourself - and why it's important to remember to pack some compassion in your suitcase when you're getting ready for that trip home. ___ Beyond the Type Episode on True Self/False Self: https://www.swansoncoaching.com/podcasts/beyond-the-type-an-enneagram-inspired-podcast-about-being-human/episodes/2149215312 [https://www.swansoncoaching.com/podcasts/beyond-the-type-an-enneagram-inspired-podcast-about-being-human/episodes/2149215312] ___ Stay in touch! Sign up for my newsletter here and receive my 9 Ways to Communicate Better guide: https://www.swansoncoaching.com/communication [https://www.swansoncoaching.com/communication] ___ Enneagram, Enneagram types, Enneagram and family, family of origin, going home for the holidays, family triggers, family patterns, childhood patterns, personal growth, self-awareness, emotional intelligence, family dynamics, Enneagram type 1, Enneagram type 2, Enneagram type 6, Enneagram type 4, Enneagram type 5, Enneagram type 9, Enneagram type 3, Enneagram type 7, Enneagram type 8, holistic life coach, leadership coach, inner critic, people pleasing, family relationships, summer vacation, family gatherings, why do I regress around my family, nervous system regulation, self-compassion, communication skills, Beyond the Type podcast, Sandy Swanson