Dire Straights

The sexual awakening that ends a marriage

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.direstraightspod.com [https://www.direstraightspod.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_7] Thanks to everyone who tuned into our Substack Live. This week, Tracy was joined by a special guest: Myisha Battle, a feminist sex and dating coach, and author of the newly released book Sexual Pleasure for Dummies [https://www.dummies.com/book/sexual-pleasure-for-dummies/]. It’s an inclusive, empathetic, and nuanced look at the role pleasure plays in our lives—and all the things that get in the way of it. You might remember Myisha from the Dire Straights [https://www.direstraightspod.com/p/men-the-apps-the-mental-load] IRL event [https://www.direstraightspod.com/p/men-the-apps-the-mental-load] that we did last year around the biggest complaints in hetero life right now. This time, we’re focusing on pleasure. Just a few topics we touched on: --stress and caregiving getting in the way of pleasure --why chore wheels show up in her coaching practice --men who prefer that their partners fake orgasms --avoiding the trap of pleasure becoming yet another form of work that women disproportionately do in hetero relationships --how porn has changed over the past decade, including the new intimate horizons of OnlyFans --what people are really looking for when they talk about “spontaneous” sex --the lie of being “vanilla” --kinky tradwives, milkmaid fantasies, and MAHA husbands drinking breastmilk --men refusing to wear condoms --people still not knowing about the clitoris! --women’s sexual awakenings blowing up marriages --using ChatGPT to decode a partner’s intentions, instead of just… asking them This recording is a special extra for paid subscribers, who make this podcast possible. Free subscribers will find a preview above, but you’ll have to upgrade to watch the whole thing [https://www.direstraightspod.com/subscribe]. We’re also officially offering these Lives on all podcasting platforms if you prefer just the audio.

They sent my mom away to become a good wife

Tracy’s newest book, My Mother’s Daughter: Finding Myself in My Family’s Fractured Past [https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/My-Mothers-Daughter/Tracy-Clark-Flory/9781668083321], is out May 5th! It’s a memoir about how a DNA test connected Tracy with her sister Kathy, who her mom placed for adoption at a home for unwed mothers in the sixties. She set out to understand their mom’s past and stumbled on a bigger story about shame, family secrets, race, and the control of women’s bodies. In this episode, we have a behind-the-scenes chat about her memoir, including the story of how Tracy decided to take that DNA test. We also get into the book’s critique of heterosexuality, the disturbing history of homes for unwed mothers, patriarchal trauma, the importance of untangling all that we inherit from our mothers, “spiritually flailing” in the writing process, and how Tracy’s feeling publishing such an honest feminist book in an era of backlash and hyper-masculine authoritarianism. My Mother’s Daughter, BTW, has received starred reviews from both Booklist and Kirkus, which called it, “deeply researched and lyrically written,” “trenchant and moving,” and “a powerful rejection of white-male dominated systems of oppression.” The book has been described as “tender, revelatory, and deeply moving,” by one Amanda Montei. It’s also gotten glowing blurbs from Rebecca Traister [https://substack.com/profile/538307-rebecca-traister], Irin Carmon, Peggy Orenstein, Koa Beck [https://substack.com/profile/3282872-koa-beck], Chelsea Bieker [https://substack.com/profile/8452934-chelsea-bieker], Soraya Chemaly [https://substack.com/profile/328814-soraya-chemaly], Savala Nolan [https://substack.com/profile/16604658-savala-nolan], and lyz [https://substack.com/profile/7994-lyz] Lenz. My Mother’s Daughter is officially out Tuesday May 5, but preorders mean everything to a book’s success. So please go grab a copy now! [https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/My-Mothers-Daughter/Tracy-Clark-Flory/9781668083321] While you’re at it, get one for your mom, your sister, maybe even a man in your life, because men should also read brilliant feminist memoirs written by women. And make sure to join Tracy at one of her upcoming IRL events: May 5: Launch day at Mrs. Dalloway’s in Berkeley, California with Alexis Madrigal. Reserve a spot here [https://www.eventbrite.com/e/tracy-clark-florys-my-mothers-daughter-in-store-event-and-book-signing-tickets-1986144211803?aff=oddtdtcreator]. May 7: Books Are Magic in Brooklyn, New York with Irin Carmon. Register here [https://www.eventbrite.com/e/in-store-tracy-clark-flory-my-mothers-daughter-w-irin-carmon-tickets-1985454023431]. May 14: Green Apple Books in San Francisco, California with Savala Nolan. Register here [https://greenapplebooks.com/event/2026-05-14/9th-ave-tracy-clark-flory-savala-nolan]. May 15: Skylight Books in Los Angeles, California with Koa Beck. Register here [https://www.skylightbooks.com/event/skylight-tracy-clark-flory-presents-my-mothers-daughter-w-koa-beck]. Please rate us on your podcast apps and to share the episode with everyone you know, and on your socials. Especially this one. Help us make Tracy’s book a smash. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.direstraightspod.com/subscribe [https://www.direstraightspod.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2]

Why is feminism being blamed for everything?

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.direstraightspod.com [https://www.direstraightspod.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_7] It’s not just the manosphere, MAGA, TERFs, or reactionary feminists who are hating on “2010s feminism” right now. Increasingly, liberals and centrists are getting in on the action. This growing feminist backlash claims that feminism has gone too far. That women have been made unhappy by progressive propaganda. That they’re being strong-armed into polyamory, casual sex, education, careerism, single-motherhood, and childlessness. Meanwhile, as we discussed in a past episode [https://www.direstraightspod.com/p/the-anti-feminist-conspiracy-to-make], the Heritage Foundation is trying to use laws and public policy to strong-arm women into marriage, motherhood, and dependence on men. But never mind all that! The real threat, some say, is that feminists wrote some snarky blog posts in the 2010s. Don’t worry, this episode does not rehash the Adult Braces discourse, but we do discuss how the Lindy West pile-on is part of a broader feminist backlash that has been brewing for many years—one that folks across the political spectrum are branding as a reasonable and empowering middle-ground for women. The discourse is truly a mess out there, folks, but in this episode, we help you see the feminist forest for the trees. And while we’ve previously avoided confronting some of the more troubling arguments we’ve seen among liberal feminists—including, notably, on Substack—well, we’re over that. Behind the paywall, you’ll get our most candid thoughts on everything people are saying about feminism today. This is a paid episode. Free subscribers get a generous preview, but if you want the full, uncensored conversation, you will have to upgrade [http://direstraightspod.com/subscribe] to knock down the paywall. Paid subscribers make this podcast possible. If you care about the state of feminism, invest in our feminist podcast.

Jeffrey Epstein, Les Wexner, and the 90s mall

Remember the 90s? The Spice Girls were singing about girl power, and Britney Spears was asking someone to hit her one more time. Amanda was shopping at the Limited Too at the Sherman Oaks Galleria, while Tracy was sporting her Bebe shirt at a Bay Area mall, and possibly almost getting sex trafficked. Behind the scenes, Les Wexner was cooking up the Victoria’s Secret Angels campaign, soon to be followed by the company's teen PINK-stamped butt line, while his buddy Jeffrey Epstein was allegedly posing as a VS scout to lure girls and women [https://www.vogue.com/article/victorias-secret-and-jeffrey-epstein-explainer] for abuse. We know we’re not the only millennial women unpacking the now wide open secret of what 90s culture did to us. Bringing together everything we know now about the shitty men of that era who taught us all to hyper-sexualize little girls and lingerie-clad angels, in this episode we look back on our 90s girlhoods at the mall and beyond. We discuss what we learned then about gender, sex, bodies, beauty, and relationships with men. And we talk through how we’re deconstructing the lasting effects of 90s mall culture today. This episode is totally free, because we really want you to have it. But if you find this episode helps you to un-gaslight and free yourself even a little, please rate us on your podcast apps, share the episode in your group chats and on your socials, and join our Substack community as a paid subscriber. Paid subscriptions are the only reason we are able to make this show. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.direstraightspod.com/subscribe [https://www.direstraightspod.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2]

The anti-feminist conspiracy to make women need men

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.direstraightspod.com [https://www.direstraightspod.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_7] The right-wing really wants women to need men. Maybe you’ve heard: Earlier this year, The Heritage Foundation—the same ghouls who brought us Project 2025—released what they’re calling a blueprint for America’s next 250 years. It’s titled “Saving America by Saving the Family.” Of course, this report isn’t about saving families. It’s 168 pages of policy recommendations that would strong-arm women into dependent relationships with men. We dug into this report so you don’t have to, and we are here to tell you this plan is all part of a broader attempt by conservatives to coerce women into hetero marriage and motherhood, then to trap them there by eliminating no-fault divorce and social services for single women. In this episode, we break the report down for you, and explore how it builds off the decades-long panic we’ve seen in the manosphere about women’s increasing freedom and independence and the broader right-wing fear of women’s ability to live—and thrive!—without a man. Beyond the paywall, we also discuss our personal feelings around this pro-marriage propaganda. Amanda gets real about what divorce taught her about economic dependence on men. And Tracy gets into why this Heritage Foundation report made her think about her mom, who was sent away to a home for unwed mothers in the sixties—a story she covers in detail in her forthcoming book, My Mother’s Daughter [https://bit.ly/MyMothersDaughter], which is now available for preorder! Speaking of independence, this is a paid episode. All subscribers can access a free preview, but if you want to hear the best and juiciest stuff, upgrade to a paid subscription. You’ll get everything that’s behind this paywall, and all other paywalled episodes, including those on porn [https://www.direstraightspod.com/p/is-porn-a-scapegoat-for-patriarchy], Epstein [https://www.direstraightspod.com/p/epstein-was-behind-the-metoo-backlash], marital sex [https://www.direstraightspod.com/p/marital-intimacy-is-the-fifth-shift], monogamy [https://www.direstraightspod.com/p/monogamy-is-a-feminist-problem], divorce [https://www.direstraightspod.com/p/have-we-lost-the-divorce-plot], and the dire state of dating today [https://www.direstraightspod.com/p/is-dating-dead]. You’ll also get access to guest conversations, subscriber chats, and more.