Is It Possible To Have A Steady And Safe Relationship With An Avoidant Man – Erin and Evan’s Story Part 1

The Real Reason Giving Him Space Feels Impossible

You know you should give him space. You've heard the advice a hundred times. Lean back. Stop chasing. Focus on yourself. Let him come to you. But the moment he becomes distant, communication changes, or you feel the slightest emotional disconnect, it suddenly feels impossible to do. And then comes the shame. Why can't I just relax? Why am I so affected by this? Why can't I give him space like everyone else seems to? In this episode, Juliana reveals the deeper reason so many women struggle when a man pulls away. Because the problem isn't that you're weak. And it's not that you're incapable of feminine energy. The real issue is that your nervous system may be experiencing space as loss, danger, abandonment, or emotional threat. When that happens, even something as simple as a delayed text message can trigger overthinking, anxiety, the need for reassurance, and the urge to do something to make yourself feel better. Through a powerful real-life example, Juliana walks you through what actually happens inside a woman's nervous system when a man becomes uncertain, distant, or unavailable—and why relationship advice like "just let go" often feels impossible to implement in the moment. You'll learn why chasing temporarily feels better, why many women mistake anxiety for chemistry, and why true emotional safety has nothing to do with becoming cold, detached, or pretending you don't care. This episode is not about blaming yourself. It's about understanding what's really happening beneath the surface. Because once you understand the pattern, you stop fighting yourself. You stop judging yourself. And that's when giving space stops feeling like emotional survival. In This Episode: • Why giving him space feels impossible even when you know you should • What happens when your nervous system experiences space as loss instead of safety • Why delayed texts and emotional distance can feel so activating • The hidden reason women chase, over-explain, and seek reassurance • Why relationship advice often fails when the nervous system is dysregulated • How anxiety creates urgency and emotional pressure • Why chasing can temporarily feel relieving • The difference between anxious space and calm, confident space • What emotional safety actually looks like in relationships • How to stay connected to yourself during uncertainty Click play to hear all of this and: 00:00 — Why giving him space feels so difficult when a man pulls away 01:30 — The real reason women struggle with distance, uncertainty, and emotional disconnection 03:00 — Why "just let go" often doesn't work in real life 04:00 — What space actually activates underneath the surface 05:00 — A powerful real-world example of nervous system activation in dating 07:00 — Why silence and delayed replies can trigger emotional spiraling 08:30 — The "Ice Queen" response and how women unconsciously protect themselves 09:30 — Why texting, checking his energy, and seeking reassurance feel relieving 10:00 — The surprising reason chasing often feels better than waiting 11:00 — The real healing work that changes relationship dynamics 12:00 — Emotional safety, nervous system regulation, and creating healthy space 13:00 — The difference between anxious space and calm, confident space 13:30 — How the Bring Him Closer Method helps women create lasting change Ready to Go Deeper? If this episode resonated with you, there is nothing wrong with you. You're not weak. You're not needy. And you're certainly not crazy. Your nervous system may simply be interpreting uncertainty, distance, and emotional space as danger. And when that happens, no amount of dating strategies, feminine energy rules, or relationship advice will feel easy to implement. Because the real challenge isn't knowing what to do. It's being able to stay emotionally safe enough to actually do it. And this is exactly what we help women transform inside the Bring Him Closer Experience™. Inside the program, we help you understand the deeper relationship patterns driving your reactions, regulate your nervous system in real time, and create the kind of inner safety that allows you to stop chasing, stop overthinking, and build the calm, connected relationship you truly want. 👉 Learn more about the Bring Him Closer Experience™ [https://experience.julianajoycoaching.com/] And if you'd like to discover your relationship archetype and understand the subconscious patterns shaping your love life, take the Relationship Archetype Quiz linked below. 👉Click here and take the quiz [https://www.julianajoycoaching.com/quiz] You can also connect with Juliana on Instagram: @julianajoycoach Subscribe & Review If this episode resonated with you, make sure you're subscribed and leave a review. It helps more women discover this work and learn how to create relationships that feel calm, connected, emotionally safe, and genuinely fulfilling.

Why Men Pull Away? The Unfiltered Truth

You think you’re being calm, you’re handling it well. And you’re just asking a simple question. But underneath it, your nervous system is panicking. And he can feel it. In this episode, Juliana shares one of the biggest hidden dynamics behind why men pull away — especially from emotionally aware, high-achieving women who genuinely want love to work. Because most of the time, it’s not actually about the text message. It’s not about whether you reached out first, it’s not about saying the “wrong” thing,  or it’s not because you care too much. It’s about the emotional pressure happening underneath the interaction. Through a simple but deeply relatable dating scenario, Juliana walks you through what happens inside a woman’s nervous system when communication suddenly feels uncertain — and why so many women unintentionally create tension without even realizing it. You’ll hear why men often pull back when they feel emotional pressure they don’t know how to solve, why nervous system activation overrides logic, and why dating strategies, feminine energy rules, or “high value woman” advice often fail when the deeper emotional layer underneath hasn’t actually shifted. This episode is not about blaming women. It’s about awareness. Because once you can finally see the pattern clearly, you stop personalizing every shift in his behavior… and start responding from a grounded, emotionally safe place instead of fear, pressure, or emotional survival. And that changes everything. In This Episode: why men pull away when they feel emotional pressure what your nervous system is doing during relationship uncertainty the hidden tension underneath “feminine energy” advice why calm communication matters more than perfect wording how anxious energy creates disconnection without you realizing it what actually helps men lean back in emotionally Click play to hear all of this and: 00:00 — Why this episode is different. The deeper truth about why men pull away 01:30 — The Friday night scenario that triggers anxious attachment 03:30 — What’s happening underneath “cute” or casual texts 05:00 — Why your nervous system matters more than your words 07:00 — The hidden pressure men often feel in relationships 09:00 — Why men step back when they feel they can’t solve the problem 11:00 — The difference between grounded communication and hidden tension 13:00 — “Black cat energy,” feminine energy advice, and subtle punishment 15:00 — Why emotional regulation changes relationship dynamics 16:30 — The awareness that helps you stop creating disconnection in love Ready to Go Deeper? If this episode resonated with you, chances are you’re not “too much,” needy, or emotionally broken. Your nervous system has simply learned to respond to love, uncertainty, and emotional connection in ways that once helped you protect yourself. But protection is not the same thing as connection. And this is exactly the work we help women transform inside the Bring Him Closer Experience™. Because the goal is not to become detached, emotionless, or perfectly feminine. The goal is to become grounded enough that love no longer feels like anxiety, pressure, fear, or emotional survival. Inside the Bring Him Closer Experience™, we help you understand your relationship patterns on a much deeper level, regulate your nervous system in real-time, and create the kind of emotional safety that naturally changes how men respond to you. 👉 Learn more about the Bring Him Closer Experience™ [https://experience.julianajoycoaching.com/] And if you want more relationship insights and deeper conversations like this, come connect with me on Instagram: @julianajoycoach Subscribe & Review If this episode resonated with you, make sure you’re subscribed and leave a review. It helps more women discover this work and create relationships that feel calm, connected, emotionally safe, and genuinely fulfilling. Ready to Go Deeper? If this episode resonated with you, there is nothing wrong with you. You're not weak. You're not needy. And you're certainly not crazy. Your nervous system may simply be interpreting uncertainty, distance, and emotional space as danger. And when that happens, no amount of dating strategies, feminine energy rules, or relationship advice will feel easy to implement. Because the real challenge isn't knowing what to do. It's being able to stay emotionally safe enough to actually do it. And this is exactly what we help women transform inside the Bring Him Closer Experience™. Inside the program, we help you understand the deeper relationship patterns driving your reactions, regulate your nervous system in real time, and create the kind of inner safety that allows you to stop chasing, stop overthinking, and build the calm, connected relationship you truly want. 👉 Learn more about the Bring Him Closer Experience™ [https://experience.julianajoycoaching.com/] And if you'd like to discover your relationship archetype and understand the subconscious patterns shaping your love life, take the Relationship Archetype Quiz linked below. 👉Click here and take the quiz [https://www.julianajoycoaching.com/quiz] You can also connect with Juliana on Instagram: @julianajoycoach Subscribe & Review If this episode resonated with you, make sure you're subscribed and leave a review. It helps more women discover this work and learn how to create relationships that feel calm, connected, emotionally safe, and genuinely fulfilling.

From Breakup to Reconnection: How a Therapist Healed Anxious Attachment and Stopped Chasing

When his WhatsApp photo disappeared for a few minutes, her body went straight into panic. Not because anything had actually happened, but because of what it meant to her. “He’s gone. I did something wrong. I’m not enough.” What makes this story different is that Julia is a therapist—and a graduate from the Bring Him Closer Experience™. She understands attachment, emotions, and the nervous system on a deep level. And still, when he started pulling away, she felt anxious, tense, and unable to fully be herself in the relationship. A few weeks later, he ended things over text. And instead of falling apart, she did what so many high-achieving women do. She held it together, told herself she’d deal with it later, and kept going. But underneath that strength, the anxiety didn’t go anywhere. If you’ve ever thought, “I know better than this… so why do I still feel this way?” or noticed yourself becoming anxious the moment a man pulls back, you’ll recognize yourself in this episode. Because what Julia realized is that this isn’t about what you know. It’s about what your body still holds onto. Inside this conversation, we talk about what it actually takes to move through anxious attachment—not by fixing or controlling it, but by learning how to meet yourself in those moments instead of abandoning yourself. We also explore why “no contact” isn’t something you force, what real surrender looks like, and how the dynamic between you and a man begins to change when you stop trying to prove your worth. At one point, Julia stopped trying to control the outcome. She wrote him a letter she never sent, expressed gratitude for what the relationship had shown her, and allowed herself to be okay either way. Not long after, he reached out again. But what mattered most wasn’t that he came back. It was that she showed up differently when he did. She wasn’t overthinking, chasing, or trying to figure everything out. She was present, grounded, and able to express herself honestly. And for the first time, he began to open up too. This episode isn’t just about getting a man back. It’s about becoming the version of you who can create a relationship that actually feels safe, calm, and connected. In This Episode, We Talk About * why anxious attachment doesn’t disappear just because you understand it * what happens in your nervous system when a man pulls away * how the “I’m strong” pattern shows up in relationships * why no contact is a result, not a rule * what real surrender looks like in love Click play to hear all of this and: 00:00 — When a WhatsApp photo triggers anxiety. The moment that revealed how deep the pattern really goes 02:00 — “I know better… so why do I feel this way?” Why knowledge doesn’t stop anxious attachment 05:00 — The relationship starts to shift (and tension builds). Trying to hold it together while feeling disconnected inside 06:30 — The breakup text that changed everything. How her nervous system responded in the moment 09:00 — The “I’m strong” pattern and emotional shutdown. Why high-achieving women stay in control instead of feeling 11:00 — Finding the work and deciding to change. From awareness to actually doing something different 13:00 — Why no contact isn’t about rules. Letting go of control and releasing the need to prove your worth 15:00 — The moment of real surrender. The letter she never sent—and what shifted after 18:30 — He reaches out again. What was different this time (and why it mattered) 21:00 — From chasing to receiving. How the dynamic changed when she showed up differently 22:30 — The Christmas trigger and old wounds resurfacing. What happens when patterns come back stronger 24:00 — Expressing instead of overthinking. The moment she communicated differently—and he opened up 26:00 — What actually creates emotional safety in a relationship. Why connection deepens beyond just “getting him back” Ready to Go Deeper? If this episode resonated with you, there is nothing wrong with you. You're not weak. You're not needy. And you're certainly not crazy. Your nervous system may simply be interpreting uncertainty, distance, and emotional space as danger. And when that happens, no amount of dating strategies, feminine energy rules, or relationship advice will feel easy to implement. Because the real challenge isn't knowing what to do. It's being able to stay emotionally safe enough to actually do it. And this is exactly what we help women transform inside the Bring Him Closer Experience™. Inside the program, we help you understand the deeper relationship patterns driving your reactions, regulate your nervous system in real time, and create the kind of inner safety that allows you to stop chasing, stop overthinking, and build the calm, connected relationship you truly want. 👉 Learn more about the Bring Him Closer Experience™ [https://experience.julianajoycoaching.com/] And if you'd like to discover your relationship archetype and understand the subconscious patterns shaping your love life, take the Relationship Archetype Quiz linked below. 👉Click here and take the quiz [https://www.julianajoycoaching.com/quiz] You can also connect with Juliana on Instagram: @julianajoycoach Subscribe & Review If this episode resonated with you, make sure you're subscribed and leave a review. It helps more women discover this work and learn how to create relationships that feel calm, connected, emotionally safe, and genuinely fulfilling.

How a Sex Therapist Healed Her Heart and Found Love at 49. Plus: The Sex Talk Every Woman Needs (But Doesn’t Know Who to Ask)

What You’ll Learn (And Why You Need to Listen): If you’ve ever felt disconnected from your body—or wondered if you’d ever feel desire again after trauma, emotional pain, or childbirth trauma—this episode is for you. Inside, we unpack how: * Sexual trauma recovery is possible even after years of shutdown * Episiotomy trauma can create long-term tension and avoidance in your body * High-achieving women can unconsciously suppress desire and pleasure * Reclaiming sensuality starts with nervous system healing and embodied safety * The Bring Him Closer method works when therapy has plateaued If you're tired of pushing through intimacy, tired of feeling "off," or secretly worried you’ll never fully enjoy sex again... hit play. Have you ever wondered why your body resists intimacy even when your heart craves connection? Or questioned if you’d ever feel true desire again after trauma, childbirth, or emotional disconnect? If you’ve felt the heartbreak of sexual shutdown, you’re far from alone. In this heartfelt and eye-opening episode, I sit down with Marianne Van Katwijk—a sex therapist, hypnotherapist, and mother—who courageously shares her story of physical trauma after childbirth and the journey it sparked: from pain, numbness, and emotional withdrawal to embodied pleasure, trust, and a new relationship with her feminine self. That’s just one of the reasons I knew Marianne’s voice belonged on this podcast. With nearly 10 years of professional experience and a deeply personal understanding of what it means to heal sexually, Marianne is a beacon for women navigating the silent struggles of intimacy. Her insights are not only validating—they’re liberating. What makes this conversation even more special is that Marianne is not just a guest—she's a client of the Bring Him Closer Academy. After experiencing a profound connection that left her heartbroken and confused, she joined the Academy to heal not just her intimacy, but the relational patterns that kept repeating in her love life.  Inside the academy, we worked together to help her reconnect with her emotional truth, soften her masculine protector energy, and restore trust in her feminine power—without overriding her trauma. This conversation is your gentle permission slip to stop pushing through, pretending you’re fine, or performing pleasure. It’s your invitation to start feeling again—deeply, safely, fully. Inside this episode, Marianne shares: * The truth about episiotomy trauma and how it impacts desire * Why your body tenses, shuts down, or “goes dry” after emotional pain * The surprising reason so many high-functioning women feel numb in intimacy * What self-pleasure can reveal (and heal) in your nervous system * How the Bring Him Closer method helped her shift emotionally and energetically This episode is for you if: * Sex feels like something you endure instead of enjoy * You’re secretly worried you’re “not normal” for avoiding intimacy * You’re tired of therapy, but still feel stuck in your body * You want to rediscover the part of you that used to feel alive, sensual, and open Wherever you are on your healing journey, this episode offers more than insight—it offers hope. Guests Resources: Visit: https://www.mariannevankatwijk.com/about [https://www.mariannevankatwijk.com/about] Connect with Marianne on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/unleashyourwildness/] Connect with Marianne on LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/in/mariannevankatwijk/?originalSubdomain=nl] Click play to hear all of this and: 00:00 – Introduction & Welcoming Marianne 00:45 – Marianne’s Background: From Occupational Therapy to Psychology 02:00 – Getting into University and Becoming a Psychologist 03:00 – Birth Trauma: Episiotomy and Its Impact on Sex 04:00 – Emotional & Physical Shutdown in Intimacy 05:10 – Partner’s Response and Emotional Support 06:00 – Beginning the Healing Journey: Reading, Courses, and Coaches 06:45 – Self-Pleasure Practice and Frustration in Early Attempts 07:30 – The Cheat Code to Reconnecting with Your Body 08:10 – Importance of Felt Sensation and Hypnotherapy 08:50 – Feminine Embodiment and Emotional Connection 09:40 – Spirituality, Sensitivity, and Sexual Expression 10:30 – Shifting from Performance to Embodiment 11:20 – How Emotions Anchor Intimacy and Presence 12:10 – Desire Discrepancy in Long-Term Relationships 13:10 – Creating a List of What You Gain from Sex 14:30 – Responsive vs. Spontaneous Desire 15:30 – Initiating from Self-Connection 16:50 – Tailoring Approaches for Different Feminine Archetypes 18:00 – Letting Go of Old Relationships to Step Forward 19:00 – Healing Through Breakup and New Self-Awareness 21:00 – How the Bring Him Closer Academy Helped Shift Marianne’s Energy 23:00 – Final Reflections: From Brokenness to Empowered Sensuality Ready to Go Deeper? If this episode resonated with you, there is nothing wrong with you. You're not weak. You're not needy. And you're certainly not crazy. Your nervous system may simply be interpreting uncertainty, distance, and emotional space as danger. And when that happens, no amount of dating strategies, feminine energy rules, or relationship advice will feel easy to implement. Because the real challenge isn't knowing what to do. It's being able to stay emotionally safe enough to actually do it. And this is exactly what we help women transform inside the Bring Him Closer Experience™. Inside the program, we help you understand the deeper relationship patterns driving your reactions, regulate your nervous system in real time, and create the kind of inner safety that allows you to stop chasing, stop overthinking, and build the calm, connected relationship you truly want. 👉 Learn more about the Bring Him Closer Experience™ [https://experience.julianajoycoaching.com/] And if you'd like to discover your relationship archetype and understand the subconscious patterns shaping your love life, take the Relationship Archetype Quiz linked below. 👉Click here and take the quiz [https://www.julianajoycoaching.com/quiz] You can also connect with Juliana on Instagram: @julianajoycoach Subscribe & Review If this episode resonated with you, make sure you're subscribed and leave a review. It helps more women discover this work and learn how to create relationships that feel calm, connected, emotionally safe, and genuinely fulfilling.

How Emotional Safety Changed Our Relationship | Erin & Evan (Part 2)

What do you do when logic and love feel like they're living in different homes? You’ve read the books. Tried the tools. Listened to the podcasts. However, the same push-pull dynamics keep resurfacing. This is part 2 of Juliana’s interview with our Bring Him Closer Lab client, Erin, and her partner, Evan, on what they achieved in their relationship within just 5 months. You'll get a front row seat to how they navigated opposite conflict styles, deep triggers, emotional shutdowns, and even those “should we still be together?” moments — and rewired their relationship from the inside out. If you've ever struggled to name your feelings, felt like you're too emotional (or not emotional enough), or found yourself stuck in the “fight or flight” spiral… this episode will land deeply in your nervous system. This episode is for you if: * You're in a relationship that feels more like a roommate situation * You're doing all the “healing work” but still feel something is missing in your love life * You and your partner love each other, but can’t get on the same page. In this episode, you’ll hear a candid, powerful conversation with Erin and Evan — a couple who didn’t let their differences break the bond, but they transformed through them. Erin and Evan's work is centered on supporting individuals who are ready to elevate their personal, relational, and professional lives through immersive, one-on-one experiences and curated group workshops. While their private coaching offerings aren’t publicly promoted yet, they invite curious listeners to reach out directly for more information. Erin continues to integrate the energetic tools from the Bring Him Closer Lab into both her relationship and her leadership—and this episode highlights the real-time evolution of that journey. Click play to hear all of this and: * 00:00 Introduction and Reflection * 00:08 Exceptional Transformation * 03:22 Coping Mechanisms and Challenges * 04:47 Intense Conversations and Different Approaches * 06:35 Conflict Resolution and Opposite Spectrums * 10:04 Emotional Awareness and Communication * 11:51 Energetic Dynamics and Relationship Balance * 17:12 Naming Emotions and Addressing Issues * 23:00 Leadership and Surrender * 25:09 The Struggle of Surrendering Control * 26:26 Exploring Romantic Feelings * 27:48 Different Approaches to Relationship Goals * 30:07 The Impact of Cupid's Poisoned Arrow * 30:52 Understanding Mating vs. Bonding Programs * 33:43 Energetic Dynamics in Modern Relationships * 36:11 Navigating Temptation and Commitment * 41:38 Transitioning to Intuitive Coaching * 47:24 The Importance of Self-Awareness * 50:08 Final Thoughts and Future Plans Resources mentioned on this episode: Cupid’s Poisoned Arrow [https://www.amazon.com/Cupids-Poisoned-Arrow-Harmony-Relationships/dp/1556438095] Guests Resources: Visit: http://www.mindfixgroup.com/www.mindfixgroup.com [http://www.mindfixgroup.com/] Connect with Erin on LinkedIn  [https://www.linkedin.com/in/erinpheil/] Connect with Evan on LinkedIn  [https://www.linkedin.com/in/evanwalton/] Ready to Go Deeper? If this episode resonated with you, there is nothing wrong with you. You're not weak. You're not needy. And you're certainly not crazy. Your nervous system may simply be interpreting uncertainty, distance, and emotional space as danger. And when that happens, no amount of dating strategies, feminine energy rules, or relationship advice will feel easy to implement. Because the real challenge isn't knowing what to do. It's being able to stay emotionally safe enough to actually do it. And this is exactly what we help women transform inside the Bring Him Closer Experience™. Inside the program, we help you understand the deeper relationship patterns driving your reactions, regulate your nervous system in real time, and create the kind of inner safety that allows you to stop chasing, stop overthinking, and build the calm, connected relationship you truly want. 👉 Learn more about the Bring Him Closer Experience™ [https://experience.julianajoycoaching.com/] And if you'd like to discover your relationship archetype and understand the subconscious patterns shaping your love life, take the Relationship Archetype Quiz linked below. 👉Click here and take the quiz [https://www.julianajoycoaching.com/quiz] You can also connect with Juliana on Instagram: @julianajoycoach Subscribe & Review If this episode resonated with you, make sure you're subscribed and leave a review. It helps more women discover this work and learn how to create relationships that feel calm, connected, emotionally safe, and genuinely fulfilling.