Exquisite Suffering

[PREVIEW] Exquisite Suffering 204: Death Crimson

In this final premium episode of Abject Suffering, we talk about the legendary kusoge “Death Crimson”, a barely-functional light gun shooter that qualifies as genuine outsider art. We also get kind of wistful about urban exploration and talking to our past selves.

[PREVIEW] Exquisite Suffering 203: Reign of Fire

Reign of Fire is the kind of movie you can’t make anymore, and that’s a good thing. It’s the perfect storm of post-9/11 militarism, and post-Lord of the Rings fantasy bandwagon chasing, with a pre-Batman Christian Bale and a pre-McConaughssaince Matthew McConnaughey. While a game about shooting dragons with guns should have a pretty high entertainment floor, this one absolutely biffs it by making you enact some of the worst vehicle combat to date.

[PREVIEW] Exquisite Suffering 202: My Stop Smoking Coach

If you weren’t there, you might not understand that there was a small movement to market the Nintendo DS as a kind of PDA, with utility software being sold as games. This also included self improvement games like Brain Age. Hot on this trend, Ubisoft went all in with a line of “My Coach” games, with none being more baffling than “My Stop Smoking Coach”. It’s admirable to want to help people end a dangerous addiction, but this product shows that a game is not the ideal way to try to do that.

[PREVIEW] Exquisite Suffering 201: The 20 Lost Levels of Joshua

Wisdom Tree is an interesting company that makes very bad games about the Bible, but you kinda have to give them credit for reverse engineering Nintendo hardware. This GameBoy game, The 20 Lost Levels of Joshua, is attached to a GameBoy version of the NIV Bible, and it’s hard to tell which side of the cart is more riveting.

[PREVIEW] Exquisite Suffering 200: Beyblade: Let it Rip!

Beyblade is like Digimon but it's about spinning tops. It's as dumb as it sounds.