Free From P*rn

#53 The Lie of “Starting Over”

What if the very tool you’re using to track progress is actually keeping you stuck? In this episode, Richard breaks down why the “day counter” mindset can quietly sabotage your freedom—and how all-or-nothing thinking fuels shame, guilt, and relapse cycles. If you’ve ever felt like you’re back at square one after a slip-up, this will reframe everything. Instead of obsessing over streaks, Richard shows you what actually leads to lasting change: emotional awareness, curiosity, and a growth mindset rooted in grace—not performance. You’ll learn: *  Why motivation isn’t your real problem  *  How emotional dysregulation drives the cycle  *  The hidden danger of all-or-nothing thinking  *  How to turn slip-ups into breakthroughs  *  What it looks like to grow with compassion instead of condemnation  This episode will help you stop resetting your progress—and start actually transforming. Because you’re not starting over… you’re learning how to live free.

#52 I Should Have Known Better (Stop Saying This)

Why do you keep going back to the same habits—even when you know better? In this episode, Richard shares a powerful moment from a real coaching call that exposes one of the biggest hidden drivers behind porn use and compulsive scrolling: self-frustration disguised as growth. After a tough week filled with frustration, unmet expectations, and emotional overload, a client found himself right back in old patterns. But what came next wasn’t condemnation—it was clarity. You’ll learn: *  Why “I should know better” is actually keeping you stuck  *  How frustration with yourself fuels the very habits you’re trying to break  *  The real reason you turn to scrolling, porn, or numbing behaviors  *  How to process difficult emotions without medicating  *  The role of dopamine, withdrawal, and why relapse can feel so disorienting  *  A simple (but not easy) shift that leads to real, lasting freedom  Most importantly, this episode will challenge the way you see yourself. Because the path to freedom isn’t beating yourself into change…  It’s learning to walk with the kindness and compassion your Father already has for you. If you’ve been stuck in the shame cycle, this conversation will help you step off the hamster wheel—for good.

#51 The Other Team Is On Scholarship

"The Other Team Is On Scholarship" You're not broken — you're being played. In this episode, Rich pulls back the curtain on why doom scrolling feels impossible to stop: there are highly paid professionals whose entire job is to keep you hooked. And if you've got a porn habit layered on top of that? You're in a dopamine loop that makes everything else in life feel gray and flat. Rich walks through a real coaching conversation with a guy who slipped up — not to shame him, but to investigate what actually happened. What they found was a trail: one notification, a few hours of doom scrolling, and then the familiar chase. If you've ever asked "what do I do when I'm bored?" — this episode is for you. Rich shares the practical dopamine reset strategies he actually uses: driving in silence, reading novels, walking without your phone, and sitting in the secret place. None of it is flashy. All of it works. Your dopamine levels can be restored. The sky can be blue again. But it starts with being willing to sit with the discomfort long enough to get there.

#50 The Pastor's Double Life (And the Gospel That Finally Broke Through)

What happens when the guy behind the pulpit is hiding the same sin as the guy in the pew? In this episode, Richard and Justin sit down with Jonathan Leonardo — pastor, minister, and founder of Love Reality — for one of the most honest conversations we've had on the podcast. Jonathan pulls back the curtain on a decade of double-mindedness: translating Greek in seminary by day, feeding a secret life of lust by night. Traveling to preach the gospel, then using those same trips to gratify the flesh. But this isn't just a confession episode. It's a breakthrough episode. Jonathan walks through the shame cycle that keeps so many men trapped — the secrecy, the self-condemnation, the isolation — and explains why more theology, accountability software, and willpower only made it worse. What finally changed wasn't a new strategy. It was a revelation: you were always the son. If you've been spinning your wheels trying to earn your way out of this thing, this conversation is for you. In this episode: * Why seminary didn't fix Jonathan's addiction — it ran alongside it * The "thin veil" between sexuality and spirituality * How shame keeps men silent, isolated, and stuck * The gospel truth that landed like a thousand pounds on Jonathan's chest * Why identity in Christ is the antidote to the shame loop * Why freedom is never a solo project

#49 Stop Calling It Failure: The Mindset That’s Keeping You Stuck in Porn

What if the thing you call “failure” is actually the key to your freedom? In this episode of the Free From Porn podcast, Richard Young and Justin Khoe dismantle one of the most dangerous beliefs Christian men carry: “If I mess up again, it’s over.” That mindset doesn’t protect you… it traps you. We unpack why all-or-nothing thinking keeps you stuck in the cycle—and how a simple shift can change everything. Drawing from concepts popularized by Carol Dweck and grounded in the gospel, we show why relapse isn’t a verdict—it’s data. You’ll learn:  • Why porn isn’t the real problem (and what actually is)  • How shame and fear of failure keep the cycle alive  • The difference between a fixed mindset and a growth mindset  • Why compassion—not condemnation—is the path to real change  • What Simon Peter’s story reveals about how Jesus Christ responds to your worst moments This episode will reframe how you see setbacks—and show you how to actually grow through them instead of being defined by them. If you’ve been stuck in shame, afraid to fail again, or believing you have to get it perfect to be free… this conversation is for you. Freedom isn’t found in never falling.  It’s found in learning how to rise—with truth.