Episode 9: Good News! (our kids are going to be fine)

Episode 15 - The hormone stuff IS the ADHD stuff

Is It PMS… or Is Something Else Going On? Have you ever felt like you become a completely different person for one or two weeks every month? Maybe you're more emotional, more reactive, more overwhelmed, less productive, or struggling with rage, anxiety or depression that seems to disappear almost as quickly as it arrives. In this episode, Alisha and Rhiannon dive into the growing body of research exploring the connection between ADHD, hormones, PMDD (Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder), perimenopause and emotional wellbeing. The conversation begins with a raw and honest discussion about parenting through illness, overwhelm and emotional exhaustion before exploring why many neurodivergent women may be experiencing hormone-related challenges that have been dismissed, misunderstood or misdiagnosed for years. The episode also unpacks a recent study involving more than 600 women that found significantly higher rates of menstrual irregularities, severe PMS symptoms, postpartum depression and menopausal symptoms among women with ADHD. Most importantly, it's a conversation about understanding yourself better, advocating for your health, and recognising that suffering through hormonal symptoms isn't something you simply have to accept. 💡 What We Talk About in This Episode • Parenting through overwhelm, sickness and emotional exhaustion • The importance of self-awareness and self-compassion • What PMDD actually is (and how it's different from PMS) • Why ADHD and hormones are not separate conversations • The luteal phase and how it can impact mood, energy and executive functioning • Why ADHD medication can feel less effective at certain times of the month • Tracking your cycle, moods and energy levels • Perimenopause and hormonal changes in women over 35 • The latest research linking ADHD and hormonal health • Different treatment options that women are exploring • Learning to work with your body instead of against it • Why "normal" doesn't always mean healthy 🧠 What Is PMDD? PMDD (Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder) is a recognised clinical diagnosis that goes far beyond typical PMS. While PMS may involve symptoms such as bloating, sore breasts and irritability, PMDD is characterised by much more severe emotional and psychological symptoms. These can include: * Intense mood swings * Severe anxiety * Depression * Rage * Feelings of hopelessness * Suicidal ideation * Significant impacts on daily functioning A key feature is that symptoms typically occur during the luteal phase (the one to two weeks before a period) and often improve rapidly once menstruation begins. 📊 The Research We Discuss A recent study published in Archives of Women's Mental Health examined over 600 women, including 377 women with ADHD and 225 women without ADHD. The average participant age was 39 years. Researchers found that women with ADHD experienced: * More menstrual irregularities * More severe PMS symptoms * Higher rates of postpartum depression * Increased pregnancy complications * More severe menopausal symptoms * Greater hormonal challenges across every stage measured The findings support what many neurodivergent women have reported anecdotally for years: hormones can significantly influence ADHD symptoms and overall wellbeing. 🔑 Key Takeaways 1. Hormones and ADHD Are Deeply Connected Many women notice changes in focus, motivation, emotional regulation and executive functioning throughout their cycle. These changes are not "all in your head." 2. Tracking Matters You don't need to obsessively monitor every symptom, but paying attention to patterns can provide valuable insights into your moods, productivity, resilience and emotional wellbeing. 3. Your Experience Is Valid Information If you repeatedly notice severe mood changes, overwhelming emotions or significant fluctuations in functioning, those experiences are worth investigating. 4. There Are Treatment Options Different women respond differently to various approaches, including medication adjustments, hormonal treatments, antidepressants, lifestyle strategies and cycle-aware planning. 5. You Don't Need to Suffer in Silence Just because something is common doesn't mean it's normal or something you should simply endure. ❤️ A Conversation About Self-Compassion One of the most powerful themes throughout this episode is the reminder that understanding ourselves allows us to be kinder to ourselves. Whether it's recognising when you're overstimulated, identifying hormonal patterns, understanding your ADHD, or simply acknowledging that you're exhausted, awareness creates opportunities to make different choices. Sometimes the goal isn't perfection. Sometimes the goal is recognising what you need before you reach breaking point. 👩‍👧 Parenting, Emotional Regulation & Real Life The episode opens with a candid discussion about parenting through a difficult weekend, highlighting something many parents experience: Sometimes both parent and child are struggling at the same time. Alisha shares how recognising her own needs allowed her to make a decision that supported both herself and her daughter, rather than forcing herself to push through and mask her feelings. It's a powerful reminder that looking after yourself is not selfish—it often allows you to show up more effectively for your children. 🎯 Questions to Reflect On * Do you notice patterns in your mood throughout your cycle? * Are there times of the month when your ADHD symptoms feel worse? * What situations consistently leave you overstimulated? * How might tracking your energy, emotions or cycle help you understand yourself better? * Where could you offer yourself more compassion? 👩‍⚕️ Important Note This episode is based on personal experiences and discussion of emerging research. It is not medical advice. If you're experiencing severe mood changes, depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, or symptoms that are affecting your quality of life, please seek support from a qualified healthcare professional. 📲 Follow & Connect Follow along for more honest conversations about: * ADHD in women * Autism and neurodivergence * Hormones and mental health * Parenting * Emotional wellbeing * Self-compassion and self-discovery @motherhoodunmaskedunfiltered 🎧 Subscribe & Follow Follow Motherhood: Unmasked & Unfiltered for weekly conversations about: • ADHD and autism in women • Neurodivergent parenting • Hormones and mental health • Perimenopause and women's health • Real life motherhood • Friendship, growth and self-awareness New episodes every Thursday. 💥 Episode Highlights * The parenting breakthrough that came from recognising personal limits * Why PMDD is far more than "bad PMS" * The ADHD-hormone connection many women never hear about * A major study examining ADHD across the female hormonal lifespan * Why ADHD medication may feel different throughout your cycle * Exploring treatment options without shame * Learning to identify patterns instead of blaming yourself * The importance of advocating for your health

Episode 14 - Sparkle Spikes & Turdy

What Bali Taught Us About Parenting, Neurodivergence & Letting Go Fresh off the annual Solo Mum Society Bali trip, Alisha and Rhiannon sit down for an honest post-holiday debrief. What started as a conversation about forgotten chargers, unnecessary scooters and overpacked suitcases quickly became a much deeper discussion about neurodivergence, parenting expectations, mum guilt and what children actually need from a family holiday. This year’s trip looked very different from previous years. With an all-inclusive resort, kids club, nightly shows and dozens of solo mums and children spending time together, there were plenty of opportunities to learn what worked, what didn’t, and what they'll be doing differently next time. Alisha shares her struggle with feeling guilty about using kids club while balancing work commitments, while Rhiannon offers a different perspective: what if the kids were genuinely having the time of their lives? Together they explore: * Why parents often create pressure around "quality time" * The reality of travelling with neurodivergent children * How overstimulation affects both adults and kids * Why holidays don't always look the way we imagine * The importance of flexibility and adjusting expectations * What happens when routines disappear * Learning to trust that children can enjoy experiences differently from us The episode is packed with funny travel stories, practical lessons and relatable moments for any parent who has ever planned the perfect holiday only to discover their child had a completely different idea of what fun looks like. 💡 What We Talk About in This Episode • The Solo Mum Society Bali trip debrief • What we packed but never used • The items we forgot and wished we'd brought • Overpacking, underpacking and ADHD travel habits • Why kids club became one of the children's favourite experiences • Mum guilt and balancing work while travelling with children • Neurodivergence, overstimulation and holiday overwhelm • The importance of realistic expectations on family holidays • Sleepovers, chosen family and travelling with close friends • Miscommunication, language barriers and travel logistics • The hilarious time-zone mix-up that nearly caused panic on day one • Why flexibility often creates better holidays than rigid plans 🔑 Key Takeaways • Children often define a successful holiday very differently from adults. • Parents frequently put pressure on themselves to create "perfect" family moments that their children may not even want. • Kids club isn't a sign of poor parenting—it can be one of the highlights of a child's holiday experience. • Neurodivergent adults and children can become overstimulated by exciting experiences just as much as stressful ones. • Holidays often require letting go of expectations and responding to what's actually happening in front of you. • Packing lists only work if you actually follow them. • Sometimes the biggest lesson is discovering that your child was happier than you realised. ✈️ Travel Lessons We Learned Things We'd Do Again * Choose family-friendly resorts * Book connecting rooms whenever possible * Use kids club without guilt * Build opportunities for children to socialise * Create flexibility rather than over-scheduling * Prioritise experiences over perfect plans Things We'd Skip Next Time * Bringing scooters that never get used * Packing multiple "just in case" outfits * Overthinking every detail before departure * Assuming children will enjoy activities the same way adults do * Creating unnecessary pressure around holiday expectations Practical Travel Reminders * Double-check chargers, adapters and converters * Keep a dedicated travel supplies box for future trips * Review your packing list before you leave * Allow extra time for adjustments to new environments * Remember that holiday success isn't measured by productivity 🧠 Neurodivergent Travel Insights This episode highlights something many neurodivergent families experience: Excitement can be just as overwhelming as stress. When children are having the time of their lives, they're often processing huge amounts of stimulation, social interaction, change and emotion. The result can sometimes look like emotional outbursts, big feelings or unexpected behaviour. The same is true for adults. Whether it's navigating a new environment, managing expectations, handling logistics or simply being away from familiar routines, travel can bring both incredible joy and unexpected challenges. 👩‍👧 Who This Episode Is For This episode is for: • Solo parents travelling with children • ADHD and autistic adults • Parents of neurodivergent children • Families planning holidays • Anyone who struggles with mum guilt • Parents who feel pressure to create perfect family experiences • People who overpack, overthink and still forget something important 💬 A Message From This Episode Your child doesn't need the perfect holiday. They don't need every minute planned, endless activities or a parent trying to manufacture magical moments. Sometimes they just need friends, freedom, a swimming pool, an ice cream and the chance to be a kid. And sometimes the best thing a parent can do is let go of the idea of what the holiday should look like and enjoy what it actually becomes. 📲 Follow & Connect Follow along for future adventures, behind-the-scenes stories and weekly conversations about motherhood, neurodivergence and real life parenting: @motherhoodunmaskedunfiltered 🎧 Subscribe & Follow Follow Motherhood: Unmasked & Unfiltered for weekly conversations about: • ADHD in women • Autism and neurodivergence • Parenting without the filter • Solo motherhood • Friendship and chosen family • Travel, life and everything in between New episodes every Thursday. 💥 Episode Highlights * The scooter that travelled internationally for absolutely no reason * The forgotten chargers and waterproof phone cases * The Bali time-zone disaster that caused an accidental wake-up call * Why kids club became a holiday highlight * The difference between parent expectations and child reality * Neurodivergent travel challenges and unexpected wins * The power of chosen family while travelling * The post-holiday lessons that will shape next year's trip

Episode 13 - I specifically trained my kid to be an iPad kid for this purpose

Packing Chaos, Airport Survival & Traveling with Neurodivergent Kids This week, Alisha and Rhiannon are in full pre-Bali countdown mode. With 34 solo mums and their children joining the annual Solo Mum Society Bali trip, the conversation starts exactly where you'd expect: doom piles, overpacking, last-minute hyperfocus, welcome packs, and wondering whether a third suitcase is really necessary. But what begins as a chat about packing quickly turns into an honest and practical conversation about traveling as neurodivergent adults and raising neurodivergent children. From airport overwhelm and sensory challenges to carry-on essentials, screen time guilt, travel anxiety, and keeping kids entertained on long-haul flights, Alisha and Rhiannon share the real-world tips they've learned through years of traveling solo with children. They also discuss: * Why some children become anxious about flying * Airport and airplane hacks that genuinely help * Managing sensory overload while travelling * The Hidden Disabilities Sunflower program * Packing strategies for ADHD brains * Flying with children who need routine and predictability * Why comfort matters more than looking put together * The travel gear they've tested (and the gear they regret buying) Whether you're planning your first family holiday, travelling solo with kids, or simply trying to survive airport chaos without a meltdown, this episode is packed with practical advice and plenty of laughs. 💡 What We Talk About in This Episode • Preparing for the Solo Mum Society Bali trip • Hyperfocus, procrastination and last-minute packing panic • Overpacking versus realistic packing • Flying with children who are anxious about airplanes • Ear pain, travel anxiety and sensory concerns • Carry-on essentials that actually matter • Why snacks solve almost everything • iPads, screen time and long-haul flights • Airport hacks for neurodivergent families • The Hidden Disabilities Sunflower lanyard • Compression socks, travel pillows and comfort strategies • Travel prams, ride-on suitcases and luggage recommendations • Choosing seats on planes with children • How to make travelling easier for yourself, not harder 🔑 Key Takeaways • The best packing strategy is often comfort over perfection. • Travelling with children becomes easier when you stop trying to entertain them with 50 different activities and focus on what actually works. • Snacks can solve more travel problems than most parenting books. • Neurodivergent travellers often benefit from planning for sensory comfort before problems arise. • Airport stress is often reduced when systems are simplified and hands are kept as free as possible. • There is no prize for travelling uncomfortably. Pack the pillow, blanket, headphones or support items if they help you arrive feeling better. • The "perfect" travel setup is the one that works for your family. ✈️ Travel Hacks Mentioned For Kids * Download favourite shows before you leave * Pack more snacks than you think you'll need * Bring familiar comfort items * Consider ear pressure aids if flying anxiety is an issue * Use activity packs, colouring or magnetic games for airport downtime * Choose flight times that work with your child's energy levels For Parents * Wear compression socks on longer flights * Bring charging cords in your carry-on * Pack noise-cancelling headphones * Keep your hands free whenever possible * Consider luggage that opens easily during flights * Board early if it reduces stress * Prioritise comfort over appearance For Neurodivergent Travellers * Look into the Hidden Disabilities Sunflower program * Plan for sensory needs in advance * Reduce unnecessary decisions while travelling * Build recovery time into your itinerary * Give yourself permission to use accommodations that help 👩‍👧 Who This Episode Is For This episode is for: • Solo parents who travel with children • ADHD and neurodivergent parents • Families preparing for holidays • Parents of anxious travellers • Anyone who feels overwhelmed by airports • People who always pack too much and still forget something important 💬 A Message From This Episode You don't need to be the perfectly organised traveller. You don't need matching luggage, colour-coded packing cubes, or a Pinterest-worthy itinerary. You just need a system that works for you, your child, and your nervous system. Because arriving slightly overdressed, carrying too many snacks and surviving the flight is still a win. 📲 Follow & Connect Follow along for behind-the-scenes Bali adventures, travel updates and future episodes: @motherhoodunmaskedunfiltered 🎧 Subscribe & Follow Follow Motherhood: Unmasked & Unfiltered for weekly conversations about: • ADHD in women • Neurodivergent motherhood • Parenting without the filter • Travel and family life • Emotional regulation • Friendship, identity and community New episodes every Thursday.

Episode 12 - I'm an excellent planner, follow through, not so much

Hyperfocus, Friendship, School Mums & The Reality of Neurodivergent Motherhood This week is less expert advice and more of a catch-up. The kind of catch-up where one mum accidentally loses half a day to Pinterest strategy, another starts demolishing a bathroom at 11pm, and somehow both of them end up discussing friendship, parenting, school communities and why socialising feels so complicated as a neurodivergent adult. In this episode of Motherhood: Unmasked & Unfiltered, Alisha and Rhiannon reflect on the aftermath of Lexi's birthday party, the surprisingly big emotions their daughters experienced after saying goodbye to each other, and what it looks like raising children who feel everything deeply. They also dive into: * Hyperfocus and losing hours without realising it * Why socialising can feel exhausting even when you enjoy people * School mums, playdates and creating community * Neurodivergent friendships * Parenting emotionally intense children * Supporting kids through friendship challenges * Why finding "your people" matters so much * The difference between socialising because you want to and socialising because you feel like you should This episode is funny, honest, completely unstructured and incredibly relatable. Basically, exactly what happens when two neurodivergent mums sit down for a chat. 💡 What We Talk About in This Episode • Hyperfocusing on completely the wrong thing • Late-night DIY projects and impulsive decisions • Birthday party planning and recovery • Why their daughters struggled after saying goodbye • Big emotions in neurodivergent children • School friendships and playground dynamics • Building community as a parent • Why socialising can feel so draining • The pressure of school parent culture • Playdates, birthday parties and finding your people • Neurodivergent parenting wins • Matching your child's energy instead of fighting it • Why some friendships feel easy and others feel exhausting • The invisible mental load of motherhood 🔑 Key Takeaways • Hyperfocus isn't always productive — sometimes it's Pinterest strategies and washing Lego. • Neurodivergent children often experience friendships and separations very intensely. • You don't need hundreds of friends — you need the right people. • Parenting often means pushing through your own discomfort to support your child's needs. • Matching a child's energy can sometimes work better than trying to force them to calm down. • Not every social event is worth your energy. • Community matters — for both mums and kids. 👩‍👧 Who This Episode Is For This episode is for: • Neurodivergent mums • Women navigating school friendships and playdates • Parents of emotionally intense children • Women who feel exhausted by socialising • ADHD and AuDHD mums • Anyone who has ever lost three hours to a random hyperfocus project 💬 A Message From This Episode Sometimes motherhood looks like: Having a perfectly packed lunch. A clean kitchen. A child who is fed and thriving. And absolutely none of the things you actually planned to do that day. And that's okay. Because progress doesn't always look the way we expected it to. 📲 Follow & Connect Follow along for clips, conversations and weekly chaos: @motherhoodunmaskedunfiltered 🎧 Subscribe & Follow Follow Motherhood: Unmasked & Unfiltered for weekly episodes on: • ADHD in women • Neurodivergent motherhood • Emotional regulation • Parenting neurodivergent children • Identity, friendship and community • Real life without the filter New episodes released every Thursday. 💥 Highlights * Hyperfocusing on Pinterest instead of the actual to-do list * Washing and sorting thousands of pieces of second-hand Lego * The emotional fallout when best friends live in different states * Why school friendships become more complicated as kids get older * Socialising as an introverted neurodivergent mum * The surprising parenting strategy that helped calm a hyper child * The difference between having lots of people around and having people who truly get you

Episode 11 - Academy Award Level Maskers

Why are so many women only discovering they’re neurodivergent later in life? In this episode of Motherhood: Unmasked & Unfiltered, Alisha and Rhiannon are joined by psychiatrist Dr Clinton White to unpack what’s really happening with late ADHD and autism diagnoses in women. From missed signs in childhood to years of being labelled with anxiety or depression, this conversation dives into how easily neurodivergence is overlooked — especially in women who have spent their lives masking, coping, and “holding it together.” Dr White shares openly about the limitations of psychiatric training, why autism has historically been seen as a “male condition,” and how even professionals can miss it. The conversation explores the moment everything clicks — when women receive a diagnosis and suddenly their past, behaviours, and struggles finally make sense. “The veil of confusion about their life just lifts… and that alone changes everything.” They also dive into common misdiagnoses, including anxiety, depression, and burnout, and explain why these are often symptoms rather than the root cause. This episode is honest, validating, and deeply eye-opening — especially if you’ve ever felt like something didn’t quite add up. 💡 What We Talk About in This Episode • Why ADHD and autism are often missed in women • Masking and why it hides symptoms so effectively • The emotional impact of late diagnosis • “Rewinding your life” and finally making sense of things • Why anxiety is one of the most common misdiagnoses • The limitations of psychiatric training • The difference between symptoms vs root cause • Why diagnosis alone can be life-changing • How understanding your brain removes shame • ADHD and autism as both strengths and challenges • The role of hormones and PMDD in neurodivergent women • Common co-occurring conditions (binge eating, burnout, trauma) • Why so many women are only discovering this now 🔑 Key Takeaways • Many women diagnosed with anxiety may actually have underlying ADHD or autism • Late diagnosis often creates a powerful “everything makes sense now” moment • Masking is one of the biggest reasons neurodivergence is missed in women • Diagnosis doesn’t change who you are — it explains who you’ve always been • Shame often comes from misunderstanding, not from the behaviour itself • Many co-occurring challenges (burnout, binge eating, PMDD) are linked to neurodivergence • Awareness alone can be life-changing, even without treatment 👩‍👧 Who This Episode Is For This episode is for: • Women with ADHD • Women who suspect they may be neurodivergent • Late diagnosed ADHD or autistic women • Mums navigating overwhelm, burnout or anxiety • Women who feel like they’ve never quite fit in • Anyone questioning whether their diagnosis tells the full story 💬 A Message From This Episode You weren’t missing something. You weren’t failing. You were working with a brain that no one had properly explained to you yet. And once you understand it? Everything starts to shift. 📲 Follow & Connect Follow for more real, relatable conversations: @motherhoodunmaskedunfiltered 🎧 Subscribe & Follow Follow Motherhood: Unmasked & Unfiltered for weekly episodes on: • ADHD in women • Autism in women • Late diagnosis • Neurodivergent motherhood • Emotional regulation • Identity and self-trust New episodes released every Thursday.