Not Done Yet: A Podcast for Midlife Women

Ep 9 - Pee, Portals, and Permission Slips: A Midlife Reinvention Pep Talk

24 min · 20 de may de 2026
Portada del episodio Ep 9 - Pee, Portals, and Permission Slips: A Midlife Reinvention Pep Talk

Descripción

In this episode, Rachel cracks open the quietly destructive habit most midlife women don't even know they're doing: handing out permission slips for their own life. The "this might sound silly" cycle. Waiting for a coach, a partner, a parent to bless the idea before we move on it. Rachel connects self-dismissal and permission-seeking as the same thing in different outfits — and walks through what it actually looks like to stop. (She also opens with a Mother's Day story involving her husband, a hug, and a puddle. You've been warned.) In this episode: * The Mother's Day moment that became a literal puddle on the floor (and the one rule no midlife woman should ever break) * Why my own body had to stage a dramatic intervention to get my attention — and the signal you're ignoring right now * The "this might sound silly" trap — why it's just permission-seeking in responsible-sounding clothes * The coaching call moment where one question — "well, why don't you?" — completely rewired what I thought I was allowed to do * Why waiting for someone else to validate your idea is actually how you avoid being accountable to it * The truth about why permission feels so safe: if it fails, it's not all your fault. If it works, you never fully owned it. * How the "business divorce" eroded my trust in myself — and how I'm rebuilding it in real time * Why I'm now trying and failing publicly on purpose (and what that's teaching me) * The disclaimers we attach to our own dreams — "I mean, I don't know if it would ever get published, but…" — and why they have to go * The one question I want you to sit with this week: what are you still waiting for permission for, and whose permission is it really? * Why midlife isn't your wrap-up season — it's the portal (and yes, I know "portal" sounds dorky, I'm working on a better word) Mentioned in this episode: * The Not Done Yet Collective (free + paid community on Substack for midlife women who are not done yet): rachelaperry.com/collective [https://www.rachelaperry.com/collective] Connect with Rachel: * Website: rachelaperry.com * Instagram: @rachelaperry * TikTok: @rachelaperry If something in this episode made you go oh… that's me, share it with the midlife woman in your life who's been waiting for someone to tell her she's allowed. Spoiler: she always was. She's not done yet either. Ready to stop circling the thing you can't stop thinking about? Take the free Not Done Yet Spark and discover your next step. www.rachelaperry.com/spark

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17 episodios

episode Ep. 17 - The Era Of Me - A Midlife Mantra artwork

Ep. 17 - The Era Of Me - A Midlife Mantra

Rachel cracks open the belief that keeps showing up disguised as concern, judgment, or a raised eyebrow: that a midlife woman saying "it's my turn" is somehow too much. It started with a TikTok clip of Michelle Obama answering one question with one word, me, and the eye roll that followed from another woman watching. Rachel unpacks why that reaction lands so hard, why women dismiss each other's wanting the same way they dismiss their own, and what actually happens when a woman finally stops waiting for everyone else's permission to choose herself. In this episode: * The TikTok clip that started it all: Barack Obama says "fun," Michelle says "me," and one word gets celebrated while the other gets an eye roll * Why a woman's reaction to another woman wanting something reveals what she believes about her own right to want * My own confession: the time I judged my brother-in-law for moving to Colorado for himself, and what I had to admit about why * The double standard nobody says out loud: men get to put themselves first, women get told it's selfish * Where the "selfless woman" script actually comes from, and the story about my mom and the bread basket that says it all * Why breaking this cycle matters for your kids, whether they're watching a mom who puts herself last or one who doesn't * The reframe that changes everything: wanting more for yourself does not mean you love your life or your family less * What I've actually watched happen when women give themselves permission to want more, and it is not what you'd think * The line I need you to hear twice: choosing yourself doesn't take anything away from the people you love, it gives them more of you * The question I'd ask the woman who rolled her eyes: what answer would have felt okay to you * Why it's your turn right now, whether you're 45, 47, or 51, and why you don't have to earn it first Mentioned in this episode: * Rachel's email list (with a freebie inside): rachelaperry.com * Not Done Yet Sessions: a 90-minute conversation to figure out what you actually want, what's been stopping you, and your next step https://www.rachelaperry.com/ndysession Connect with Rachel: * Website: rachelaperry.com * Instagram: @rachelaperry * TikTok: @rachelaperry If this one hit a nerve, send it to a woman in your life who's been talking herself out of saying "me." She's not done yet either. Ready to stop circling the thing you can't stop thinking about? Take the free Not Done Yet Spark and discover your next step. www.rachelaperry.com/spark

15 de jul de 202622 min
episode Ep. 16 - Is It Perimenopause or Am I Just Losing It? with Dr. Shannon Cothran artwork

Ep. 16 - Is It Perimenopause or Am I Just Losing It? with Dr. Shannon Cothran

Rachel sits down with Dr. Shannon Cothran, a board-certified gynecologist who left 15 years of private practice to build Menostart, a direct-to-patient practice designed entirely around perimenopause and menopause care. They get into the real reason Shannon walked away from the traditional system, the messy history behind hormone replacement therapy, and why so many women are told to just take more Zoloft instead of getting an actual answer. Rachel also shares her own story of being dismissed, shamed, and talked out of asking for hormones, and what changed once she finally got a doctor who listened. This one gets into the specifics: symptoms, timelines, testosterone hype, and what to ask for at your next appointment. In this episode: * My story: the doctor who wanted to just bump up my Zoloft instead of checking my hormones, and the question my husband asked me that changed everything * Why perimenopause has over 70 identified symptoms, and how wild some of them get (a hot flash that only happens below the waist, water in your ear, joints that ache for no reason) * The wild history of hormone replacement therapy: the book that started it, the study that scared everyone off it, and the data that got walked back decades later * The truth about testosterone for women: what the research actually supports versus what influencers and a certain PBS documentary are hyping up, and why pellets can do real damage * What to actually do first if you think you're in perimenopause or menopause, and what's included in Shannon's six-month program at Menostart Mentioned in this episode: * Menostart (Dr. Cothran's direct to patient practice for midlife women's health): www.menostart.com [http://www.menostart.com] * The M Factor (PBS documentary on menopause and testosterone) Connect with Rachel: * Website: rachelaperry.com * Instagram: @rachelaperry * TikTok: @rachelaperry If this episode hit close to home, send it to the friend who's been telling you her hair is falling out and nobody will listen. She's not done yet either. Ready to stop circling the thing you can't stop thinking about? Take the free Not Done Yet Spark and discover your next step. www.rachelaperry.com/spark

8 de jul de 202646 min
episode Ep 15 - Is It Normal to Feel Invisible in Midlife? (Yes. And Here's the Reframe That Changes Everything.) artwork

Ep 15 - Is It Normal to Feel Invisible in Midlife? (Yes. And Here's the Reframe That Changes Everything.)

Rachel cracks open one of midlife's most disorienting experiences: the moment the world stops noticing you. Not because you've changed, but because the culture has decided you're no longer the most interesting person in the room. In this episode, she names the thing a lot of women feel but don't know how to say, and then reframes it in a way that might change how you move through it. Rachel talks about the grief that comes with midlife invisibility (the grief we rarely give space to), the unexpected freedom on the other side, and the most important distinction she wants you to hold onto when the invisible feeling hits. Fair warning: she also mentions boobs more than once. You've been advised. In this episode: * The friend who warned me I'd become invisible in my 40s, and how hard I laughed at her (and then didn't) * The three moments that made me go, okay, something has actually shifted: the store clerk, the talking-over, and the thing I almost didn't say out loud * The grief piece we skip straight past in midlife, and why rushing to "liberation" does us a disservice * Why feeling invisible and being irrelevant are not the same thing, not even close * What you've built, survived, lost, and rebuilt that cannot be faked or shortcutted by anyone younger in that room * What invisibility actually clears when the world stops tracking you, and why that space might be exactly what you needed * The version of you that becomes visible on the other side of all of this: she knows who she is, she knows what she wants, and she is way more interesting than the one who was performing for everyone Mentioned in this episode: * Coming next week: an interview with a gynecologist on all things perimenopause and menopause Connect with Rachel: * Website: rachelaperry.com * Instagram: @rachelaperry * TikTok: @rachelaperry Know a midlife woman who's been feeling this lately but hasn't had the words for it? Send this her way. She's not done yet either. Ready to stop circling the thing you can't stop thinking about? Take the free Not Done Yet Spark and discover your next step. www.rachelaperry.com/spark

1 de jul de 202619 min
episode Ep. 14 - What Midlife Women Aren't Saying (And Why We Stay Silent) with Katie Pulsifer artwork

Ep. 14 - What Midlife Women Aren't Saying (And Why We Stay Silent) with Katie Pulsifer

Rachel sits down with master certified life coach Katie Pulsifer for a conversation about the thing most midlife women never say out loud: that the life that looks fine from the outside doesn't always feel fine on the inside. They get into the silence, the guilt, the hollow spaces, and what actually becomes possible when you stop filling them with yes. In this episode: * The basement stairs moment: what it looks like to stand at the threshold of a gorgeous-looking life and still not want to walk back in * What Katie listens for that women aren't saying, and why so many women have never told anyone the truth * Why guilt isn't something that happens to you, it's something you subscribe to (and what you get from staying subscribed) * The brain's actual job when you try to change your life, and why it's working against you on purpose * What fills the hollow spaces once you stop saying yes to everything Mentioned in this episode: * Katie Pulsifer: katiepulsifercoaching.com * Katie's Get Unstuck Quiz (on her homepage): personalized voice memo response from Katie * Katie's Substack: You Are Golden Connect with Rachel: * Website: rachelaperry.com * Instagram: @rachelaperry * TikTok: @rachelaperry If this one hit home, send it to a woman in your life who needs to hear it. She's not done yet either. Ready to stop circling the thing you can't stop thinking about? Take the free Not Done Yet Spark and discover your next step. www.rachelaperry.com/spark

24 de jun de 202641 min
episode Ep. 13 - The Confidence Lie Midlife Women Keep Falling For artwork

Ep. 13 - The Confidence Lie Midlife Women Keep Falling For

Rachel shares a story she almost didn't tell, about a post she almost didn't publish, and the ripple it set off that she never saw coming. This episode is about the difference between confidence and courage, and why waiting to feel ready before you say yes might be the most expensive thing you're doing right now. Rachel unpacks what her sister's story reveals about every woman who's ever sat with a big opportunity and talked herself out of it before she even started. If you've ever thought, "I just need to feel more confident first," this one is for you. In this episode: * Why confidence is not what you need before you say yes, and what actually is * The difference between wanting more and being ungrateful (they are not the same thing) * What my sister's story reveals about the thing you might be waiting for right now * Why you don't have to be in crisis or even unhappy to feel the pull toward something bigger * Who is waiting on the other side of your courage, and why you can't see them until after Mentioned in this episode: * Not Done Yet Session (podcast special, normally $497): rachelaperry.com/podcastspecial Connect with Rachel: * Website: rachelaperry.com * Instagram: @rachelaperry * TikTok: @rachelaperry If this episode hit you somewhere real, share it with one woman in your life who needs to hear it. She's not done yet either. Ready to stop circling the thing you can't stop thinking about? Take the free Not Done Yet Spark and discover your next step. www.rachelaperry.com/spark

17 de jun de 202620 min